I just finished reading Steve Pavlina’s book, Personal Development for Smart People.  My overall summary?  This is one book that you can definitely judge by its cover! Okay, I’ll explain.

First, “personal development” is just that – personal - development – read each word separately.   Personal development is not motivation:  this book will not, in and of itself, motivate you.  Steve is not a cheerleader.  I’m not saying this to be negative, I just know that a lot of people buy “personal development” books because they want to be motivated, uplifted, inspired to take action, etc.  This is not one of those books.

Did I grow on a personal level?  Yes.  Was I motivated to take action while reading this book?  No.  Has this book changed my life?  Absolutely.   (I can hear a collective **sigh** coming from you, so let me explain further.)

Secondly, the book is titled, “Personal Development for Smart People.”  As a business educator for over 18 years, I have had to personally change my writing style for the sake of communicating with the common public many times.  On my last corporate project, I was told to write on a seventh-grade level.  (Talk about the dumbing down of America – but that’s another post!)  I could not help but wonder if Steve was told the same, because the writing style itself reminded me of how we were forced to write when we were in the seventh grade – you know – state your point and then back it up with an average of seven paragraphs!  It just seemed strange to me that a book for “smart people” would be so daunting to read.

On the other hand, my husband, who’s a dentist, loved the writing style as he is used to that manner, and he would certainly qualify as a smart person.  Perhaps I have become too accustomed to entertainment in the books (and blogs) I read.  I’ll spend some time reflecting on that and let you know!  Maybe I just missed the witty, unpredictable style I’ve grown accustomed to in Steve’s blog.  Or maybe after 22 years of reading and writing in the personal development industry, there were just a lot of topics I was already familiar with and had to “wade through.”

With that being said, I did have two major breakthroughs, one professional, and the other personal, while reading this book.

The first one, more professional in nature, came on page 53.  I write and speak a great deal about the importance of goal setting, but many times I feel as if most people in the audience miss the point; they either grab onto it with the wrong intentions, or they reject the concept because they don’t want to become a “control freak.”   Steve explains the basic paradigm behind goal setting very well here:

“The purpose of goal setting isn’t to control the future. . . The point of goal setting is to improve the quality of your present-moment reality.  Setting goals can give you greater clarity and focus right now.”  (The underscore is my doing.)

Thanks, Steve, for hitting that nail on the head for me.  I will likely quote this passage in future presentations.  (I feel another blog post coming on, too, so stay tuned !)

My personal revelation came on page 67 and it felt as if my spirit was speaking directly to me through the pages of this book:

“You aren’t here to be weak and passive.  You’re here to shine.”

I modified my mission statement after reading that.  Need I say more?

Overall I say the book is a must-read if you’re into personal development and one you will definitely want to add to your library.  It is chock full of good ideas, in fact, never before have I found so many examples and honest methods for self-development in one book.   If you’re new to personal development, expect to be camping out with this book for a few months, and it will serve as a good reference for several years.

If you’re truly a smart person, you’ll be able to skip past the superfluous material and hone in on the gems that will truly help you grow.

Now, isn’t that what Personal Development for Smart People should be about?

Until next time,
Live joyfully!

P.S. – I’ve just added a special value to one of my upcoming presentations – everyone who signs up for my “Eliminate Clutter and Organize Your Life” webinar through TheSelfHelpSchool.com will receive a free copy of the e-book.  Use the ad below and register today!

Posted under Motivation

I am proud to announce my new affiliation with TheSelfHelpSchool.com.  This project has been a work in progress for some time now and I’m happy to see it come to fruition.

As most of you know, I’ve been offering my Wake Up and Create the Life You Want seminar in several formats, including the classic printed book version.  I anticipate this new format via webinar will allow me to reach thousands of people all over the world.  It is my sincere desire to help people live more consciously and purposefully, creating the life of their dreams.

I have two upcoming courses:

1. Eliminate Clutter and Organize Your Life, based on my book with the same title, and
2. Wake Up and Create the Life You Want.

If you’d like to be more organized and get control of the clutter in all areas of your life, my Eliminate Clutter and Organize Your Life webinar will definitely inspire you to take action.

If you’d like some coaching on how to take control of the circumstances in your life and make life-transforming changes, sign up now for my Wake Up and Create the Life You Want virtual seminar.

Full course descriptions, times, and registration details can be found by clicking the links below.

Until next time,

Live Joyfully!

Posted under Career Training, Education, For College Students, Inspiration, Law of Attraction, Leadership, Motivation, Spirituality, Success, Time Management

Every salesperson who’s had even an inkling of training has heard the phrase, “enthusiasm sells.”  It’s true.  We’ve all been sold something by an enthusiastic salesperson and we want the people we buy from to be enthused about their product or service.  But there’s another caveat to “enthusiasm sells,” it sells you.

Enthusiasm for your life, the direction you believe you are headed, and the general activities you perform on a daily basis greatly enhances your life experience.  But I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know.

The trick is keeping your enthusiasm at a level that keeps you motivated to stay in action and achieve your goals.  Enthusiastic people are happy people.  Here are my top 10 ways of increasing enthusiasm.

1. Get around like-minded people.  Whatever the subject is, there is likely someone out there who is already very passionate about that topic.  For example, when I want to get excited about designing my websites, I find an online forum of geeks who honestly believe, “code is poetry.”  After reading just a few entries, I’m excited about it, too.
2. Read a book about the subject.  When I want to get excited about a gardening project, I get out one of my books, or buy a new one, on that particular project.  Authors are very passionate people.
3. Visualize yourself being enthusiastic.  When I need to “make” myself exercise, I prefer to be “in the mood” to exercise – I just find it more fun.  So to become enthusiastic about it, while preparing for the event, I envision myself performing the activity, enjoying myself, having a good time, smiling, and being enthusiastic about my walk, hike, tennis game, etc.
4. Research the subject.  Collect facts about the topic wherever you can – books, magazine articles, Internet sources, professional groups, etc.  Who would have information about the subject you want to gain enthusiasm about?  In sales we teach this concept as “know your product inside and out,” but that idea can be applied to nearly any subject.
5. Answer this question:  “Why?” Why do you want to be enthusiastic about this particular subject?  I used to want to become an early riser – you know – someone who gets up every morning at 5 AM and goes for a jog.  I bought into the paradigm that I could get more done before 8 AM than other people get done in a full day.  I tried it for a while and it is true, but I could just never get fully enthused about the idea long enough to keep it up.  Then one day I asked myself, “Why?  Why do I want to get more done?  I accomplish more between Noon and 6 PM than most people do in a full day.  Why do I want to get up at 5 AM?”  If you can’t answer the question, perhaps you would be better served to focus your enthusiasm on some other subject.
6. Create a list of 20 positive aspects about the subject. Enthusiasm needs something solid behind it.  Sure, you can fake enthusiasm for a while, but genuine belief is much better and longer lasting.
7. Remember past successes. If you’ve been enthusiastic about this topic before, remember when and why.  If this subject is new for you, remember a similar topic that you were enthusiastic about and how it turned out.  How can you apply the same thinking and achieve a similar result?

Enthusiasm sells, and is worth definitely worth cultivating.

Until next time,
Live Joyfully!

Related articles:
The Value of Enthusiasm
20 Ways to Raise Your Vibration
How I Raise My Vibes

Posted under Motivation

Like most of you I’ve been receiving too many political emails lately.  So far I’ve yet to receive anything that is for their candidate; everything is against their candidate’s opponent.  Interesting, huh?  (Remember, what you resist, persists.)

I’m not convinced that anyone really knows why he or she likes their candidate; they just know why they hate “the other one.”

I also find it interesting that my negative, TV-watching, “the evening news determines my views” friends are the only ones facing financial hardships right now.  The rest of us (we positive thinkers) are doing fine; thriving, keeping our noses to the grindstone, minding our own business, focusing on the good in the world, finding new business, and enjoying the journey.  It’s a great way to live!

Just last night my husband was telling me about something positive that’s coming out of this latest economic debacle.

But the reason I wanted to address this topic today in a blog post is because many of you have been asking where I stand on these issues.  Who am I voting for come November; why do I prefer a particular candidate; should we pull out of Iraq; what should Congress or the President do about the economy; is the media blowing things out of proportion; is the media too negatively biased – yes – seriously – someone actually asked me that one.

I have decided whom I’m voting for in November, but it’s none of your business; you need to make your own decision and not worry about mine.  And you are not going to change my mind no matter how many negative emails you send me.  FYI – I delete anything and everything negative as soon as it arrives in my inbox and I’ve discerned that it is negative.  I am very careful about what gets filtered into my vibration; I don’t like to be brought down and protect my positive outlook at all costs.  Lately I’ve been deleting emails from close friends.  I don’t like to do that, but it’s better than being bummed out for the rest of the day.  The best way to control your mood, which is critical to your success, is to control what you read, listen to, and put confidence in (believe) throughout the day.

I am likewise very careful about what I believe on the news programs.  I watch just enough to keep abreast of what is going on in the world, but then I question everything I hear, always saying to myself, “I wonder if that’s the whole story.”

Napoleon Hill wrote a passage over four decades ago, before I was even born, that perfectly sums up how I feel about all of these issues, and all of the useless emails.

“It is a major indictment against our civilization that the vast majority of people keep most of their thought power centered on their fears, rather than on conceptions and deep beliefs which can bring them what they want – not that of which they are afraid.”

I will be voting on November 4th.  I have chosen my selection by focusing on the positive aspects of both candidates, and thinking about what I want.  I am not afraid of what will happen “if the other guy gets it,” because the outcome of the presidency on November 4, 2008 will not affect my happiness.  My happiness, my prosperity, and my well-being are all within my control.  God gave me the power to create my life as I see fit – not whomever is elected president of the United States of America.

Exercising my right to vote for the leadership of the country in which I reside is my right as an American citizen.  I take it very seriously.  But the outcome will not affect my joyful journey through this life experience; I won’t allow it.

I invite you now to join me in my joy-filled journey through life.  You can start from wherever you are.  Simply let go of the negativity.  Let go of being against anything.  Focus on what you want, and not that of which you are afraid.

Until next time,
Live Joyfully!

Posted under Motivation

Of the three final contestants in last season’s Food Network Star challenge, only the eventual winner, Aaron McCargo, Jr. , made the statement, “I am the next Food Network star,” in his application video. Now, I’ve written and talked about making statements of belief like this, and even at this level, but to see it in action – well – let’s just say, I got chills!

Anything you truly, deeply, with all your heart and soul believe you can have, you can have. It really is as simple as that. Wishing and hoping leave you wishing and hoping. Wanting something, but believing it’s impossible makes it impossible. Dreaming big, planning, taking action, developing self-discipline, all of that is for naught without belief.

How do you know if you really believe in something? You can feel it. Use an “I am” statement and pay close attention to how you feel. “I am the next Food Network star.” [Obviously, implant your own desired belief here.] Now, how do you feel when you say that? Skeptical? Are there any other thoughts that immediately follow it, like, “yeah, right,” implying sarcasm? If so, it’s not a belief yet.

If you’re having trouble getting to that feeling place, as in, you’re not quite sure if you really feel it, here is an exercise that will help.

Consider a subject that you know is absolutely true. For example, my hair is strawberry-blonde. I’m not a blonde, I’m not a redhead, I’m somewhere in-between and several hair dressers have labeled me as “strawberry-blonde,” it makes sense, so I believe it.

When I make the statement, “I am a strawberry-blonde,” it elicits a feeling of, what I call, “matter-of-factness.” This is a good place to start, but this statement/belief doesn’t bring forth a lot of emotion. I mean, being a strawberry-blonde isn’t exactly something I aspired to, it’s really just a trait I was born with. But it is true; at least, I believe it to be true.

So to take this process to the next level, I would think back to something in my past that I went after and achieved. “I won a Juilliard scholarship.” Now we’re getting closer because applying for that scholarship required a lot of work, I was really excited about it, there was fierce competition, and I won. (Even though I chose not to go – but that’s another post!)

You should continue to make statements of beliefs until you feel good enough to move on to your new desire. Make your “I am . . .” statement, and see how that feeling compares to the previous ones.

Do this exercise again and again, until your belief starts to take shape the way you want it. With time and enough self-discipline on your part to perform this exercise as often as necessary, you can change your beliefs, and your outward life experience will change with them.
Try it; you’ll be glad you did!

Until next time,

Live Joyfully!

Posted under Career Training, Education, For College Students, Inspiration, Law of Attraction, Leadership, Motivation, Spirituality, Success, Weight Loss

I find that there are three types of worriers in life:

1.    Those who worry about everything and love it.
2.    Those who worry about nothing and love it.
3.    Those who worry sometimes, feel guilty when they do, try to worry less, but need help in getting their mind off of their worries and onto more productive pursuits.

This article is for the last group.

Worry is a wasted emotion that robs your spirit from enjoying the greatness of life.  I’ve noticed that people who fall into this third group bounce back and forth from wellness to illness very quickly:  a cold coming on one day, perfectly fine the next; “I had strep throat over the weekend, but it mysteriously cleared up on it’s own,” etc.  I have no doubt that you’ve noticed these types of patterns in others, or even perhaps yourself from time to time.

It’s important to understand the effect of worry on your body and your psyche.  To put it simply, the effect is negative.  Chronic worriers tend to be chronic sufferers with debilitating physical, emotional, or psychological illnesses, all of which can be avoided by simply letting go of worry.  Today, I want to talk about how to do just that – let go of worry.

First I want you to recognize that while small annoyances and petty complaints might seem minor on the surface, worrying about small things establishes a pattern of needless worry.  This is often how bad habits start, is it not?

Napoleon Hill said,

“Feed your mind on little worries and it will develop quite an appetite for big worries.”

He was right.

So how does one overcome and conquer, once and for all, the problem of worry?

The best method of eliminating worry is to transform that energy into some sort of constructive activity.  By taking action, any action at all – it does not have to be related to the problem - you take control of your mind by making it focus on something constructive.  My top three choices are:

1.    Gardening
2.    Cooking
3.    De-cluttering

But here are some additional suggestions that have worked for me:

1.    Taking a long drive
2.    Going for a long walk
3.    Cleaning the house
4.    Cleaning the car
5.    Filing

There’s something about physical activity that gives the mind a rest – and that’s a very good thing.  Some of my male friends will engage in a “pick-up” basketball game, work on a hobby carpentry project, or do some woodworking.  You know what works for you.

One of the biggest ways to get your mind off of your problems is to help others.  Serving your fellow man in some way often helps put perspective on your troubles, and gives your ego a positive boost in the process.

Whatever you do, keep it simple so that you develop the habit of transforming worry into success.

You’re in good company if you’re in the third group as I’ve outlined above.  People who worry incessantly don’t accomplish much; people who worry about nothing don’t seem to be very successful either.  It is those of us in that third group who turns our adversities into opportunities and is changing the world.  So don’t feel guilty about your worry, transform it into something great – you can do it!

Until next time,
Live Joyfully!

Posted under Motivation

Many historians consider Napoleon Bonaparte to be the greatest military leader who ever lived. Napoleon’s courage was legendary, but it was not vain or impetuous. He didn’t just “luck into” or “stumble upon” greatness, he planned for it.  Let me explain.

Napoleon was famous for his meticulous attention to detail; for taking pains to study and thoroughly understand every military situation he ever faced. He led the French army in hundreds of minor and major engagements and lost only three, the last one being the Battle of Waterloo.

He carefully considered and followed through to its natural conclusion every setback or possibility of defeat he might encounter and then he prepared against it. To be caught unprepared for unexpected setbacks is a mark of weak leadership.  It is not the setback itself that illustrates your weakness to others, but your unpreparedness, or inability to deal with it that does.  Confidence comes from the constructive use of pessimism, thinking about what could go wrong long before it does, and developing a plan of action “just in case.”

The more you know about what you face, the greater your courage and confidence. The more time you take to think through a situation, the more capable you will be of dealing with it when it arises. Napoleon planned for every contingency.

The only real measure of business leadership is results. This requires the ability to act boldly with no guarantees of success. The greatest obstacle to overcome is fear of the unknown.

Most people allow their fears to sit around in their minds, fester, and grow mold.  Failure to deal with these fears in a constructive way causes the creation of the fear itself.

Developing a plan of action, however, whether it’s for a confrontation, or your life in general, will increase your confidence and make you feel better about whatever subject you’re dealing with.  I’ve found that the best antidote to fear is preparedness.

Continue learning and growing – no matter what your field or endeavor, there is always more you could know. The more you know, the more confidence you will have.  The more confidence you have, the better you feel.  The better you feel, the more successful you will be, and the greater you will become.

Spend as much time in the planning process as you need to feel good about the upcoming situation. The more prepared you are, the more confidence you will have.  Personal strategic planning is a great tool to use for your life in general, and project planning can be applied to many subjects, business and personal.  In my experience, there is nothing better than a good plan.

Until next time,
Live Joyfully!

Posted under Career Training, Dental Practice Management, Education, Leadership, Motivation, Success

I don’t know if it’s due to Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIn, but I’ve had a lot of life coaching inquiries lately and have been doing quite a bit of copying and pasting of the following information. I decided to just write a post – I should have a page devoted to this information, anyway – to answer all of the questions I’ve been getting.

First, my coaching philosophy can best be summed up with an analogy: I’m like an athletic coach, where I attempt to get the best out of you as a player. Not for my sake or even for the sake of the team, but for the sake of the individual – you. If you’re the best you can be, (and yes, you can get there, and a lot sooner than you think), you’re automatically going to be a better “player,” i.e. spouse, partner, parent, employer, co-worker, sibling, caretaker, etc. If each person were living up to his or her unique potential, and living the life of their dreams, feeling fulfilled and blessed in every moment, the universe would be a more harmonious place. We wouldn’t be worried or fearful of things like, who’s going to be elected president . . . (But that’s another post!)

I ask a lot of questions and have you perform a fair amount of writing to get your thinking going in the right direction. It is my goal to make you aware of your connection to your spirit and give you a system that you can come back to, over and over again, on your own, anytime you find yourself “lost,” or “disconnected.” I will help you devise your personal strategic plan, and teach you where to find resources when you need them.

My experience is based on 22+ years of positive thinking, self-esteem, NLP, and extreme empowerment training. I was a systems developer and trainer professionally for 15 years and have been life coaching officially now for 3 years. I’ve been a motivational speaker for as long as I can remember and my personal mission is to motivate, educate, and inspire others to be their best through my writing, speaking, and coaching.

You can get from wherever you are to wherever you want to be; there is no dream too huge. If your spirit has inspired you to want it, you have the wherewithal to get it. You might just need a little motivation, education, or inspiration to put you on the right path.

I offer free 15-minute phone consultations to get us started and make sure we’re a good fit. After that, my current fees, as of September 15, 2008, are as follows:

Email coaching: $75 per topic. Ask as many questions as you want, I’ll answer them within 48 hours. Follow-up questions are free, as long as you don’t take advantage by trying to change the topic, etc. I define a topic as a major-life area, such as: career; weight-loss/physical appearance; relationships; home/housekeeping; positive thinking/thought control; spirituality; leadership; time management.

Phone coaching: Ask anything you want; go in as many different directions as you choose, for $75 for a 30-minute session, $150 for one hour. Here, the sky is the limit and while I will likely give you writing “assignments,” we will not spend more than 5 minutes of airtime doing anything that you can do “off the clock.” One hour with me will give you at least one month’s worth of work to do – are you ready for it?

If so,

through PayPal and let me know what type of session you’re paying for. I’ll contact you as soon as I receive the notice to schedule a time for our call, or let you know where to send your e-mail.

Please feel free to e-mail me at Debra_M@alltel.net with further questions about any of my services, or to schedule your free 15-minute trial.

Until next time,
Live Joyfully!

Posted under Motivation

While there are many ways to motivate yourself to get your rear in gear, I find that few are as powerful as momentum.  Will power and self-discipline are great – I have both – but life is so much more fun when you’re enjoying your work.

Personally, I don’t do anything until I’m “in the mood” to do it.  Why?  I’ve learned that the task will go much quicker when I have that driving force of enthusiasm behind me.   Not only that, but I accomplish much more than what I had originally planned due to inspired thoughts.

But how do you get there?  And if making yourself do something is counter-productive, how do you force a natural drive toward something?

Answer:  Momentum.

The trick I use to gain momentum toward any subject is to first start with a task that is easy to think about or accomplish.  For example, when I need to clean the house but don’t really feel (physically) like doing so, instead of forcing myself and going through the motions with resentment in my attitude, I first go for a vigorous walk.  I have a beautiful neighborhood in which to trek and I can quickly identify many positive aspects about it.

That gets my juices flowing pretty good, so I then think of all the reasons why I want to clean the house.  (I enjoy a dust-free, sparkling home, the work itself is not difficult, I often get great ideas while working, etc.)  Before long, I’m convinced to cut my walk short because, after all, I’ll be getting a workout by cleaning the house, which I now feel motivated to do.

Momentum is powerful.  Find it anywhere you can, and it will transition over.  Trust me.  Now try it for yourself, and let me know how it goes!

Until next time,

Live Joyfully!

Posted under Motivation

My husband and I had a wonderful outing on Sunday.  After spending nearly all day Saturday rebuilding a Windows Vista® computer, B.J. was feeling rather lethargic with a bad case of “cabin fever.”  So Sunday morning we decided to go for a hike.  With a dinner obligation that evening, we opted to stay close by and drove to Red River Gorge.  (The Gorge is one of the nicest landscapes in our area and has some of the best hiking and rock climbing in the country.)

We decided to go back to a trail we had not trekked for a while, and discovered something new, True North Outfitters.  It’s a bistro, a gear shop with a guide service, and an international hostel.  Obviously, we were impressed enough that I wanted to tell the world about it.  We noticed it on our way to the trail, had a wonderful one hour and five minute hike, and decided to try the bistro for lunch.

The very friendly Susan Byer greeted us as soon as we walked in:  “Are you looking for lunch?”

The atmosphere was welcoming and relaxed; the tables and amenities very clean.  The food was deliciously fresh and I could hardly believe my eyes when my husband tried, and liked, the cornbread salad.

True North Outfitters provides a variety of services for Gorge visitors, including trip planning. If you’re looking for something new or different to do this fall, I can’t imagine a more beautiful setting in October, (when the leaves are turning brilliant shades of red, orange and yellow), than the multiple vistas from Auxier Ridge Trail.

Until next time,
Live Joyfully!

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Get Inspired! What do you want to create? Wake Up and Create the Life You Want: A Guide to Self-Empowerment has helped hundreds of people create the life of their dreams. You can read their stories here. If you choose the downloadable version, it comes with my free report on “The Science of Getting Rich.” Get Organized! Learn the secrets of getting and staying motivated and organized with the Eliminate Clutter and Organize Your Life E-book. This inspiring book gives you step-by-step instructions for getting control of every area of your life. Click here for the table of contents and to purchase.

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Posted under For College Students, Inspiration