I’ve been working on increasing this site’s traffic for the past several days and, as a result, have a lot of new readers. Welcome, and thanks for allowing me the opportunity to have an impact on your life.
I’ve been getting a few more e-mails than usual and they are starting to have a theme. Since many of you are new, I am taking this opportunity to both answer your questions and re-address what this website is about.
The three most common inquiries I receive are:
- I love what you say about determining what you want and developing a strategic plan for getting it. But I don’t know what I want. How do I figure that out?
- I know what I want, but I don’t have the first clue as to how to go about getting it. I feel like I have no control over my time and every time I think about what I want, I just get more frustrated. Do you have any words of wisdom for me?
- I know what I want and you’ve given me several ideas on how to get it, but I feel so confused. Where do I start?
Let’s address these one by one.
I love what you say about determining what you want and developing a strategic plan for getting it. But I don’t know what I want. How do I figure that out?
I understand. I’ve been there. Here’s what helped me. You think you don’t know what you want, but I bet you have a very good idea of what you don’t want. Grab a notebook and pen, and start making a list of everything in your life right now that you’d like to get rid of. Is there something you’re afraid you’re going to get that you don’t want? For example, a couple of months before my grandmother passed away, she told me that she had had a “pretty good life.” She said it in her typical, self-pitying, “poor me” tone. I became angry with her. She was not an extremely pleasant woman and she really gave my mother a hard time. I became angry thinking, “Well, if you didn’t have the life you wanted, why didn’t you do something about it?” That’s when I realized it was time for me to wake up. I didn’t want to get to the end of my life and say, “I’ve had a pretty good life.”
Once you have your “don’t want” list, go back and turn everything around. I want a great, fantastic, awesome life. I’m not going to get that by following in my grandmother’s footsteps, so I’m choosing a different path. For whatever you don’t want, you probably do want the opposite of it. Create that list.
Once you have your list of desires, take responsibility for each and every item on it. That visit with my grandmother made me realize that if I didn’t take control of my life experience, I was going to end up like her - reacting to others’ circumstances, and making everyone around me miserable. Whatever it’s going to take to create the life you want, it’s up to you to do it. Just accept that, and you will start to feel better. No one is coming to rescue you. That’s okay. You don’t need rescuing.
I know what I want, but I don’t have the first clue as to how to go about getting it. I feel like I have no control over my time and whenever I think about what I want, I just get more frustrated. Do you have any words of wisdom for me?
If I could wave a magic wand and make your life perfect in every way, what would change for you? What would be different? How would you spend your time? Would you be doing the same tasks? Would you be spending time with the same people? Would you be visiting the same places?
I have good news for you. You do have a magic wand. It’s also known as “free will” and it is your God-given birthright. You are creating your life experience either deliberately, or by default. My grandmother’s was by default. She did what was expected of her and died unfulfilled. I am deliberately creating my life now and begin each morning’s journal entry with, “I am the luckiest person alive.” Which way is it going to be for you?
I know what I want and you’ve given me several ideas on how to get it, but I feel so confused. Where do I start?
Just breathe. Seriously. I know that to many of you it sounds over-simplified, but when I start to feel overwhelmed, I take a deep breath, or two, or three, and then I write or review my strategic plan. Once you have your plan, you won’t feel so overwhelmed. (If you do, it’s time to stop and re-assess.) My planning sessions always begin with one hour of solitude, because clarity is essential to this process. Also important, is being connected to your source energy, and the best way to connect and become clear, is to breathe.
The most important piece of advice I could give anyone would be to stay motivated. At this point, I don’t know if I stay motivated, or if I just keep re-motivating myself on a regular basis. Ultimately, the semantics don’t matter; results matter. So keep reading all the motivational materials you can get your hands on. There are plenty of free resources on the web, as well as many inexpensive books, even e-books now (mine will be coming out soon – possibly next week!), that will help you keep your momentum going.
To the right of this post are hundreds of links. Do yourself a favor and take an hour or so to peruse through whatever sparks your interest. Bookmark this site and any others that appeal to you. Register so that you can get e-mail updates. (You can always delete them if they don’t appeal to you.) I sign up for everything out there because I can’t tell the future and never know when something is going to be just what I needed to read for that day. It’s important to have lots of resources at your immediate disposal. Start a motivational library of books, and keep motivational CD’s in your car.
Remember, you can change your world, one day, one hour, one task at a time. Create your days, and your life will take care of itself.
My Favorite Sites
Where does Debra Moorhead go for motivation, education, and inspiration? Throughout my posts, I list my favorite books and CD’s, and here is a list of my favorite websites:
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GET THE BOOK If you’d like to read all my latest success tips and how I’ve applied 20 years of solid business principles and the law of attraction to acquiring the life of my dreams, and am helping others do the same, you’ll want your own copy of Wake Up and Create the Life You Want: A Self-Empowerment Guide. It comes with my free report on “The Science of Getting Rich.” Both are downloadable, so you get them immediately.
Posted under Education, Inspiration, Law of Attraction, Leadership, Motivation
This post was written by Debra Moorhead, Motivational Speaker, Author, and Coach on April 27, 2007
I enjoy your Blog very much, however I believe that you may want to rethink your suggestion of writing out what you DON”T want in your life. When you look at something you DO NOT want and you say NO to it, you are including it in your vibration. When you give NO attention to it, you do not include it, but you cannot exclude anything that you are giving your attention to, because your attention to it INCLUDES it in your vibration, every time, without exception. You are much better off to focus only on the things that you want. When you give your attention to something that you desire and you say YES to it, you are including it in your vibration. In other words, focus only on what you want and ignore what you do no want.
Gary,
Thanks so much for your comment and for pointing out a common misconception among many newcomers to the law of attraction. Have you ever had an experience that you just could not get off your mind? I used to have that happen to me a lot and I learned that if I “journaled it out,” just wrote it all down, that the writing process cleared my mind. I could forget about it after that.
For some people, they are so focused on what they do not like about their lives, that the only way to get it off their mind, is to write it down. They are so focused on what they don’t want, they can’t focus on what they do want.
So, by writing down what they don’t want, they now have a frame of reference to write out what they DO want. They now have a frame of reference from which to focus. Otherwise, they just continue “banging around in the contrast,” as Abraham has said.
You said it perfectly in your last sentence - “focus only on what you want and ignore what you do not want.” Some people have been practicing the art of placing their attention on what they do not want for so long, they need an extra step to bring their awareness around to where it needs to be. Does that make sense?
In other words, you are not going to write down everything you don’t want and then focus on that list. You’re going to use that list to create your “here’s what I DO want” list. Then, focus on that.
Thanks for giving me the opportunity to make that clear. Have a joyful day!
Debra,
I was joyfully surprised and so happy to see you list Live the Power as one of your favorite sites.
I have long admired your blog also so your recognition is so appreciated!
Thank you!
Namaste’
Karen
Debra,
Thanks for including OL, it’s a pleasure, and an honor, to be included in a list of such high quality blogs!
Cardin
I ~ l o v e ~ your blog. Keep it coming. This has been another gem for me. Thank you!
Thank you, Gail. I appreciate you!
I just discovered your blog via the Carnival of Creative Growth and I like what I’m reading.
So simple, and effective.
I struggle sometimes with knowing how much to plan things and how much to allow things to happen - you manage to walk the middle road and it makes so much sense.
In particular - advising people to BREATHE is wonderful. I teach yoga, and it all starts with breath.
I am going to take the time now to plan out my next year or so, creating a vision I can work to.
Thank you for the inspiration!
Much joy,
KL
Thanks, Kara-Leah. I appreciate your comment.