Wouldn’t it be nice to learn how to control your thinking in very specific ways so that you feel terrific about yourself and your situation, no matter what happens?  Well you can.  Here’s how.

Control your reactions and responses. All situations are temporary.  Instead of viewing negative events as a permanent part of your life and destiny, develop the habit of saying to yourself, “this, too, shall pass.”  And it will.  Ask me how I know!

Isolate the incident. Stop saying to yourself, “This sort of thing always happens to me.”  You know what, every successful person experiences problems.  Deal with them, one at a time, seeing each episode for what it really is - an opportunity to learn and grow.

Don’t take failure personally. One of the biggest differences between successful people and failures is that successful individuals view setbacks as things that happened in the course of business that were beyond their personal control.  Failures tend to internalize everything, blame themselves when things go wrong, and believe the world is out to get them.

For example, if the optimist is cut off in traffic, instead of getting angry or upset, she will simply downgrade the importance of the event by saying something like, “Oh, well, I guess that person is just having a bad day.”

The pessimist on the other hand, has a tendency to take everything personally. If the pessimist is cut off in traffic, she will react as though the other driver has deliberately acted to upset and frustrate her.

Remain calm and objective. The hallmark of the fully mature, fully functioning, self-sufficient personality is the ability to be objective and unemotional when caught up in the storms of daily life. This can best be achieved through regular meditation and solitude.  The superior person has the ability to continue talking to herself in a positive and optimistic way, keeping her mind calm, clear and completely under control. The winning personality is relaxed, aware and capable of interpreting events realistically instead of emotionally.  As a result, the winner’s mind exerts a far greater sense of control and influence over her environment, and is far less likely to be angry, upset, or distracted.

Focus on how you want things to be. Instead of becoming fixated on what is happening right now, take a moment, go to a private area if necessary, and think about how you want the situation to play out.  Then ask yourself, “How?”  How can I get my desired outcome from this?  Sometimes, your exact outcome is not possible, but that’s okay – it’s good to think big.  So instead, ask, “How can I just make this better?”

Resolve to think like an optimist, no matter what happens. You may not be able to control events that others have manifested into your co-creative experience, but you can control the way you react to them.  Take the reigns, create what you want.  That’s how winners think.

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