As a motivational speaker and seminar leader, I am often inundated at the close of an event with questions.  “Should I do this or that?  How should I handle this difficulty?  How do I get out of this?  What decision should I make about . . . ?”

 

Of course I’m always polite as I am always willing to help others – it is, after all, why I’m here.

 

Most of the time, my answers come from my own perspective and knowledge.  I mean, if you think about it, how could they not?  I only know what I know, right?  And that is probably the “wisdom” that most people are seeking, so it serves its purpose.

 

However, there is a way that you can know, from your own perception and good judgment, the answer to most of your questions.  Let me explain.

 

I went through a time when I had a difficult time making decisions.  Most people, but especially women, have struggled with this at some point in their life and many suffer from it chronically.  We could spend a lot of time debating the cause(s); low self-esteem, paternal issues, past or present controlling relationships – you know the drill.  But this post is about the solution, and you’re going to be amazed at its simplicity.

 

Several years ago I learned that the best way to control a conversation, even one with yourself, is to answer a question with a question.  For example, a typical sales technique is that when a prospective client asks a question such as, “Do you make any guarantees with your product,” your response should be, “Is that important to you?”

 

When I am trying to solve a dilemma in my own life, I’ll start asking questions.  (It’s very useful to use a journal for this so that you see your evolution.)

 

In the end, every situation boils down to this:  What kind of person do I now choose to be?

 

That’s it.  It doesn’t matter if the choice is major or minor, large or small, simple or complex.  It all comes down to deciding who I want to be from this point forward.

 

This is one reason I teach determining your values in all of my seminars.  Knowing what you stand for and where you’re going in life eliminates looking to others for “should I do this or that?”  However, life is constantly producing changes and with that come new scenarios previously not considered because they were “off our radar.” 

 

Too often, I hear people use the excuse, “That’s just who I am.”  For some reason I always want to say, “DUH!”  (But I don’t – because that’s not who I want to be!)

 

Of course, sometimes being who you are is the point – and that’s okay. 

 

My challenge for you today is to begin to hold the question, “Who do I now choose to be?”  I’m betting that if you’re reading this, you’re the type of person who is constantly evolving, becoming more enlightened, and consciously recreating yourself.  If so, answer every question today with that question, “Who do I now choose to be,” and then act accordingly.  Conscious evolution at its best!

 

Until next time,

Live joyfully!

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