10 Ways to Avoid End-of-Workday Fatigue


Has this ever happened to you?

 

You wake up after a good night’s rest feeling rejuvenated and happy to be alive.  On your way to work you take note of your energy level and think about all the things you’ll do when you get home.

 

When you arrive home, however, that energy you had at 8 o’clock has been completely drained by your work day.  You start to resent your employer, your supervisor and possibly even your co-workers for taking so much out of you that you have nothing left to give your family, or yourself.

 

Yeah, I know.  We’ve all been there.

 

Why is it that some people can have a hard day at work and still come home and mow the lawn, while others barely have the strength to dial the phone and order in dinner?

 

Well, it’s a matter of attitude.  You have to safeguard your energy and make sure it’s being spent in the most effective way possible, the way you want it to be spent, and the way to control that, is with your attitude.  In the following list I’ll give you several examples of what I mean.

 

  1. Refuse to participate in the drama of it.  If you have one of those workplaces where the crew isn’t happy unless there is something to gossip about, find other places to be when the squabbles are going on.  Seminar participants always challenge me about this, saying, “Debra, are you saying we should put our heads in the sand?”  Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying.  Think about it.  Wouldn’t you rather have your head in the sand than in someone’s crap?  I would!  And remember that what you think about you bring about.  So if your head is in the sand, you’ll create more sand.  I’d rather have more sand than more crap.  Even better, if you go off by yourself during lunch instead of participating in the who-did-what-to/with-whom ritual, find a nice magazine and just look at the photos.  (That’s pretty much putting your head in the sand, right?)  Use your imagination to think about what your house would like if it were decorated in that style – or whatever.  The creative power of putting your head in the sand will yield you much more favorable results than participating in the drama going on in others’ lives.  Now, I’m not saying to refuse support to your co-workers.  Just make sure it is support with the intent to improve their situation, not help them wallow in it.  I’ve had to learn that some people just like drama and the best thing to do is just let them have it.  It doesn’t mean I have to participate in it.  In my experience, this one technique alone could save 50% of your energy level for when you get home.  But keep reading . . .

 

  1. Take regular breaks.  Depending on your job, ergonomic specialists have come up with specific guidelines as to how often you need to rest from repetitive tasks.  I’ve seen recommendations from 30 seconds every 10 minutes to 1 minute for every 30.  Most businesses are required to allow a 10-minute break for every 5 hours of work performed.  If your employer has certain guidelines for your particular job, make sure you follow them.  I have had employees who refuse to take breaks because they’re trying to make a good impression.  Don’t do that to yourself.  Performing well at your job will make a better impression and it’s easier to do that with the proper rest.  Most importantly, don’t refuse to take your breaks and then blame your employer for it.  If you find that you require more breaks than you’re allowed, learn how to take mental breaks.  Are there certain aspects of your job that are repetitive in nature that could almost do with your eyes closed?  Now, I’m not talking about factory work here – please!  For example, in the summer I can meditate and pull weeds in my garden at the same time.  It’s simple, requires very little brain power, which gives my mind a break.  I love pulling weeds this way and it’s much better for the garden to pull them every day mindlessly than to wait until they’re a problem and become a chore.  Find something like that in your job and utilize it when you can.  Perhaps straightening your desk and getting organized - but more on that in just a moment . . .

 

  1. Learn to relax while you work.  Try this mantra:  “In an easy and relaxed manner, I complete my tasks on time.”  Say it over and over until it becomes ingrained in you.  Do the same thing at home, except you might want to change the mantra to, “In an easy and relaxed manner, I joyfully create whatever I want.”  Going about all of your work in an easy and relaxed manner will reserve vast amounts of energy to use whenever you want. 

 

  1. De-clutter.  Clutter around you creates clutter in your brain and drains your energy before you perform your first task.  Get rid of everything on your desk except for (maybe) three personal items, and the project you’re working on.  Keep all necessary items straight, clean, and . . .

 

  1. Organize.  The time it takes you to get organized will come back to you 10-fold.  Just thinking about the possibilities of what you could do with all of that time can be very energizing.  Take a moment to just think about how you would feel if you were 100% organized.  Isn’t that energizing?  So, what’s stopping you? 

 

  1. Prioritize.  Almost everyone I know has a hundred items or more on their task lists.  Isn’t that wonderful?  We are all so intelligent and capable of doing so much – we are truly blessed.  But take a few moments to consider what’s really important.  There are many factors to consider here and I know you have many people you need to please.  Taking a few minutes to think it through, pray about it, and get perspective will generate a feeling of control, which is always energizing.

 

  1. Strategically plan your days, and your week.  Ideally, I’d also say your months and year, but I’ve learned that if you take care of the week and each workday, you’ll be way ahead of others and probably from where you are right now.  Most of the time, we expect too much out of ourselves in the way of time.  The result is that we become depressed and think it’s useless to organize and prioritize.  Not true.  However, it is useless to organize and prioritize if you’re not going to put those decisions into a strategic plan.  Again, it goes back to that feeling of control of knowing that you accomplished everything you could for today, and there is a plan for getting everything else done, in its proper timing.  Planning is a huge boon to your energy level. 

 

  1. Focus.   If you want to become more energetic, make doing so the focal point of your thoughts.  Take note of what makes you feel energetic.  What really “floats your boat?”  What is the best way to go through your day?  Do you like to tackle things one right after the other so that time seems like it’s standing still?  Or do you require long segments of time to think and ponder things?  We are each unique and have our own way of making the world go ‘round.  It’s important to find yours and focus on it.  Give yourself the attention you deserve, and make your energy level the center of your attention for a while.  Eventually, you’ll develop the habits you need to become that way all of the time.

 

  1. Become enthusiastic.  People who are enthusiastic about their work, both on the job and at home, are rarely tired for no reason.  (If you are genuinely enthusiastic about your work and tired for no reason, you should seek medical advice.)  Don’t get me wrong; of course you’re going to get physically tired at the end of the day.  But we want as many of those “good tired” days as we can get.  That’s how we know we’ve found our path and are connected to our higher self.  You know when you’re supposed to be tired.  And you also know when you’re just “down.”  Find ways to become enthusiastic about your work.  What do you appreciate about your job? 

 

  1. Develop a persona.  Fake it until you make it.  Sometimes, the best way to turn your energy level around is to pretend you’re someone else.  Using your imagination is very energizing.  I’ve written before about how I used to hate grocery shopping until I started pretending to be Giada De Laurentiis while shopping.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t tell people I’m Giada—I just use my imagination to conjure up her energy level for shopping for the “perfect ingredients” for this recipe or that.  Since I often stop for groceries at the end of a work-day, this is especially helpful.  It’s like a mental break, fun exercise, and practicing the art of visualization all rolled into one. 

 

So, lots of great ideas here, but where does one start?  Well, you start with whichever idea popped out at you.  Which one really excited you?  Don’t start with what you think you should do.  Start with the one that made your eyes light up.  That’s your Spirit talking to you.  That’s what your Spirit needs.  And following your Spirit and the guidance it gives is one of the best ways I’ve found to increase energy.

 

I’ll be teaching more on all of these subjects and much more at the Conscious Creation Retreat; I hope to see you there!

 

In the meantime, here are a couple of tools to help you get on the path to greater energy and reduced fatigue:

 

Wake Up and Create the Life You Want:  A Guide to Self-Empowerment

 

Eliminate Clutter and Organize Your Life E-book

 

Until next time,

Live joyfully!

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Get in Alignment!

How many things do you do on a regular basis that you “dread” doing?  How many “obligations” do you have?  How many “chores?”  If the answer is “a lot,” then you will benefit greatly by learning how to get in alignment.  (No chiropractor necessary!)

 

Did you know that natural law requires that your body, mind, and spirit be united in thought, word, and action in order for the process of creation to work?   What kind of life experience do you want to create?  One filled with dreaded chores or one full of happy tasks?  If you will take the time to get in alignment with even your simplest or most dreaded responsibilities, your entire life will flow more smoothly and you’ll experience greater peace and happiness.

 

I recently had an experience where I turned my entire outlook and day around by getting in alignment with one of my most-dreaded obligations.  Typically, when asked to perform this task, I moan and groan and think about all the things I’d rather be doing than this particular duty.

 

During my morning Self MEI (Motivation, Education, and Inspiration) time, I decided that since I have to do this, there is no one else who can do this for me, I might as well get in alignment with it and enjoy the day.  (It was an all-day job.)  So I began to focus on all the things I appreciate about the other person involved.  (My mother.)  Like how much she sacrificed for me when I was growing up, all the nice things she continues to do for me, etc.  I began feeling much better.  Then I decided to focus on how lucky I am that I can do this, like, not being tied down by a “regular” job where someone else dictates my schedule, etc.  Before long, and I’m talking about maybe 5 minutes at the most, I was feeling good about my day and ready to get started. 

 

The result?  A wonderful day with my mother, despite the circumstances.  (Doctor’s appointment.) 

 

Today my challenge to you is to get in alignment with all those things you say you don’t want to do.  If you’re doing them, there has to be a reason, right?  Otherwise, you wouldn’t do them.  If there is something about your job you don’t like, perhaps you could focus on the positive aspects of your job that you do like.  Sometimes, if it weren’t for those not-so-pleasant chores, we might not appreciate the good stuff.

 

Until next time,

Live joyfully!

You can subscribe to this blog here.

Get Inspired!  Come to the Wake Up and Create the Life You Want Retreat  May 30 - June 1 and learn the techniques for taking control of your life and achieving success, plus get free private coaching!  Click here for details.

What do you want to create? Wake Up and Create the Life You Want: A Guide to Self-Empowerment has helped hundreds of people create the life of their dreams.  You can read their stories here.  If you choose the downloadable version, it comes with my free report on The Science of Getting Rich.”

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Facing Reality

One of the biggest obstacles in believing that you can re-create your life is the, “But I have to face reality,” paradigm.  Why is it so difficult to bridge the wide chasm from reaction to creation? 

 

Mostly it’s because we’re so busy observing our surroundings and looking at things we don’t really want to see.  We watch the news to get the weather, only to be inundated with everything that’s gone wrong around the world today.  But it’s not just the news media, we all do this.  Think about it for a moment.  When something happens at work, if it’s a good thing, how long does everyone focus on it?  Now contrast that to some really good gossip - ?

 

But here’s the good news.  You can employ your mind’s eye to start focusing on the good things.  My husband used to come home and tell me everything that went wrong that day at his office.  One night, I let him get it all out, and then I said, “Now, tell me three things that went well today.”  He was able to do it with no problem.  Before long, he would come home and still tell me what went wrong, but knowing that I was going to ask for my “three things,” he was prepared and volunteered that, for one example, even though procedures didn’t go as smoothly as he might have liked, he felt his team handled everything very well, they were all well-trained, and that he was thankful for them and their determination to make things right.

 

These days, he comes home and only brings up the really big challenges, and then brags about how well they all worked together.

 

It’s a matter of becoming aware of what’s happening, and making the decision to turn things around. 

 

While it is true that we have to deal with reality, you can use your imagination to re-live any moment.  I’ve blogged about this before, but it has been a while.  When you have a recurring event that’s constantly going wrong in your life, (something that you are calling “reality”),  take some time to replay the incident in your mind the way you wish it had gone.  The next time that event plays out, it should go a little better.  You’ll learn how to further mould the event, replay it in your mind again, and the next time will go even better.  Keep doing this until you have complete control over the situation.  Yes, it is possible.

 

All day long we are inundated with images.  Utilize your image-ination to create reflections of things you’d like to see.  Your imagination works both ways for you – try it!

 

Until next time,

Live joyfully!

Get Inspired!  Come to the Wake Up and Create the Life You Want Retreat  May 30 - June 1 and learn the techniques for taking control of your life and achieving success, plus get free private coaching!  Click here for details.

What do you want to create? Wake Up and Create the Life You Want: A Guide to Self-Empowerment has helped hundreds of people create the life of their dreams.  You can read their stories here.  If you choose the downloadable version, it comes with my free report on The Science of Getting Rich.”

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The Answer to Every Question

As a motivational speaker and seminar leader, I am often inundated at the close of an event with questions.  “Should I do this or that?  How should I handle this difficulty?  How do I get out of this?  What decision should I make about . . . ?”

Of course I’m always polite as I am always willing to help others – it is, after all, why I’m here.

Most of the time, my answers come from my own perspective and knowledge.  I mean, if you think about it, how could they not?  I only know what I know, right?  And that is probably the “wisdom” that most people are seeking, so it serves its purpose.

However, there is a way that you can know, from your own perception and good judgment, the answer to most of your questions.  Let me explain.

I went through a time when I had a difficult time making decisions.  Most people, but especially women, have struggled with this at some point in their life and many suffer from it chronically.  We could spend a lot of time debating the cause(s); low self-esteem, paternal issues, past or present controlling relationships – you know the drill.  But this post is about the solution, and you’re going to be amazed at its simplicity.

Several years ago I learned that the best way to control a conversation, even one with yourself, is to answer a question with a question.  For example, a typical sales technique is that when a prospective client asks a question such as, “Do you make any guarantees with your product,” your response should be, “Is that important to you?”

When I am trying to solve a dilemma in my own life, I’ll start asking questions.  (It’s very useful to use a journal for this so that you see your evolution.)

In the end, every situation boils down to this:  What kind of person do I now choose to be?

That’s it.  It doesn’t matter if the choice is major or minor, large or small, simple or complex.  It all comes down to deciding who I want to be from this point forward.

This is one reason I teach determining your values in all of my seminars.  Knowing what you stand for and where you’re going in life eliminates looking to others for “should I do this or that?”  However, life is constantly producing changes and with that come new scenarios previously not considered because they were “off our radar.”

Too often, I hear people use the excuse, “That’s just who I am.”  For some reason I always want to say, “DUH!”  (But I don’t – because that’s not who I want to be!)

Of course, sometimes being who you are is the point – and that’s okay.

My challenge for you today is to begin to hold the question, “Who do I now choose to be?”  I’m betting that if you’re reading this, you’re the type of person who is constantly evolving, becoming more enlightened, and consciously recreating yourself.  If so, answer every question today with that question, “Who do I now choose to be,” and then act accordingly.  Conscious evolution at its best!

Until next time,

Live joyfully!

You can subscribe to this blog here.

Get Inspired! Come to the Wake Up and Create the Life You Want Retreat May 30 - June 1 and learn the techniques for taking control of your life and achieving success, plus get free private coaching! Click here for details.

What do you want to create? Wake Up and Create the Life You Want: A Guide to Self-Empowerment has helped hundreds of people create the life of their dreams.  You can read their stories here. If you choose the downloadable version, it comes with my free report on The Science of Getting Rich.”

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Feelings . . . By Default or Choice?

How many times have you said, “I can’t help it, that’s just the way I feel?” 

 

There’s a basic untruth in that statement.  While it’s fine to feel however you feel about a subject, you most certainly can “help it.”  Let me explain.

 

I was having a pretty good day yesterday when I received an e-mail from a reader saying that my site doesn’t represent me well professionally. Admittedly, the comment bummed me out for a few minutes.

 

Remembering, though, that we create our own reality and attract everything in our lives to us, I stopped to reflect on just exactly why I had chosen to attract this.

 

To be honest, this reader didn’t really tell me anything I didn’t already know.  I’ve been putting off the tasks of redesigning both of my websites for several months now, using the excuse that I have higher priorities.  (I really do prioritize my tasks monthly, weekly, and daily.)

 

However, considering that this website is my main marketing system, it should take #1 priority.  Ah – the old focusing on the “wrong” thing dilemma!

 

So I then decided that I was very lucky to have this suspicion confirmed, so that I can begin to focus on this “problem” immediately.  (I’ve already changed a few things.)

 

Later into the afternoon, I started to feel overwhelmed.  I began my weekly planning with the intention of blocking off enough time to redesign both sites.  Guess what?  Because I plan ahead so extensively, there really isn’t enough time in this week with obligations that have already been made – obligations that I am happy to have made – that I cannot get out of simply by re-prioritizing.

 

At this point, I began to feel fortunate to have enough business going on to actually be this busy.  I have a to-do list now of routine tasks that will take at least 4 weeks to accomplish and enough goals to keep me busy for the next 10 years – no exaggeration!  (Retreat Center!)

 

In thinking and re-thinking my priorities for this week, my mind wandered to the comments and compliments I have received about the design of this site, and I realized that it’s not that bad.  It might not be the best-looking site, but it’s not the worst, either.  Okay, maybe it’s just the retreat page – I can work on that this week.  And if I can’t get it the way I want it, I do have the funds to hire someone to make it better for me.  So there – feeling much better now!

 

Just before writing this article I remembered how much I enjoy designing my website.  I love the creation process even though it becomes frustrating at times.  It’s those accomplishments that remind me that I am capable, imperfect, and always changing.

 

This entire process reminded me that while our feelings tell us what we’re vibrating and attracting, it is our thoughts that create our feelings.  As my thinking (perspective) changed on this subject throughout the afternoon, so did my feelings.  If I had simply reacted to my circumstances, I probably would have remained in a defensive and self-pity mood all day.  Instead, I chose to appreciate the opportunity to grow.  Where I’d like to get to now is creation: creating my feelings as opposed to just experiencing them. 

 

I’ve been able to do this before, so I know it is possible.  An exercise in appreciation is taking control of (guiding) and choosing your feelings.  But creating your feelings in the first place, from the moment you get out of bed is another matter, now, isn’t it?

 

I now understand the Abraham processes of Segment Intending and The Book of Positive Aspects (from Ask and It Is Given) on a much deeper level now.  How wonderful it would be to plan each day, each hour, and moments as necessary, around performing these exercises!  That would have to be creation at its best!

 

My challenge to you today is to deliberately guide your thoughts so that you are always reaching for joy.  When you experience something that brings you down, instead of letting the situation take control of you, get control of it instead.  Think, “I’ve created this for a reason.  What is it?”  Then be honest with yourself.  It could be nothing more than the universe trying to get you to give your attention to something you’ve indicated you want from it.  Becoming defensive will not get you closer to it, embracing your feelings will.  Live by choice, not by default.

 

Until next time, my wish is that you–

Live joyfully!  (But only if that’s what you choose!)

You can subscribe to this blog here.

Sign up for Retreat Information

What do you want to create? Wake Up and Create the Life You Want: A Guide to Self-Empowerment has helped hundreds of people create the life of their dreams.  You can read their stories here.  If you choose the downloadable version, it comes with my free report on The Science of Getting Rich.”

Even better, come to the Wake Up and Create the Life You Want Retreat May 30 - June 1 and learn the techniques for taking control of your life and get free private coaching! 

***Please Note:  All transactions are processed through PayPal, but you can use Visa, MC, AMEX, or Discover.

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Make Money with Retreat Affiliate Program

If you have a blog or website you can help me help others, and make money for yourself. 

 

I know that most of you are familiar with affiliate programs.  If not, it simply means that I pay my affiliates a commission for every sale they make on one of my products or services.  In this instance, the only affiliate program I have so far is for my Wake Up and Create the Life You Want Retreat.

 

The commission rate is 10%, so you would make $39.50 to $54.90 per enrollee, which is much better than Adsense, Amazon, or even similar affiliate programs.  If you haven’t used an affiliate program before, this is your chance; I’d love for you to participate.

 

If you’re concerned that I am allowing only 20 people into this first retreat, don’t worry.  My intention is to give these retreats on a regular, on-going basis.  My new dream for my 40’s – turning 40 on April 11 of this year – is to build a retreat center.  I’d like to be helping people recreate their lives through this retreat and hosting it about every other week.  The facility would be available also as a bed and breakfast, and for other retreat leaders – like Christine Kane

 

The reason I am letting other bloggers/website owners in on this is simple – I want a larger market.  My seminar has had great success locally and state-wide, but I am ready for an inter/national audience like I have with this blog, and with my coaching services.

 

For your readers, the advantages of this retreat are many and profound.  I can help people lose weight, quit smoking, make more money, eliminate any unwanted habit, develop good habits, establish a success mindset, direct their thoughts, connect to their higher self, become a deliberate, effective creator, and much more - all while they relax and enjoy peaceful, beautiful surroundings.  (If you’ve ever been to Kentucky in the Spring, you know what I’m talking about!)

 

I know in my heart that this retreat will be as life-transforming, and probably more so, than my one-day seminars.  People who take that seminar report drastic and positive changes in their mindset, attitude, and connection to spirit.  Most importantly, they leave with enthusiasm for life and a rejuvenated spirit.

 

The best part is that this is a retreat where you get to work on you – you pick the topic, then relax and learn how to let your spirit guide you to the best possible outcome.  Doesn’t that sound fantastic?  It is – believe me.  I’ve been developing this retreat for over a year now and I am so excited that the next logical step is its manifestation.

 

Why is a retreat setting so important?  Many documented studies have shown that people learn best when they’re relaxed.  If you can relax, you can learn.  If you can learn, you can consciously change your life.  Change your life, and you’ve just taken control of your future.  If the only difference between those who have what they want and those who don’t is conscious control over their habits and thought patterns, then doesn’t it make sense to take the time to establish that control and channel it in the direction that will serve you best?  However, it is next to impossible to change thought without time and space to do it, and that’s where the retreat comes into play.   

 

The French Quarter Inn is luxurious and calm, set right on the river, with a Jacuzzi in every room.  All meals are being prepared by the hotel staff and will be very elegant; they are well-known for their fine cuisine.  Each participant will get a form to complete to indicate preferences and special needs prior to the event.  Maysville is rich in history and there will be plenty to capture the participants’ interests.

 

But I’m getting into retreat details now and those have already been outlined on the retreat page, so go there for a complete listing of amenities.

 

You can read my story and how all of this got started in the first place here.

 

Back to this post, if you’d like to become an affiliate, here are the links you will need:

 

Join my Affiliate Program – Earn 10% on each Registration!

 

Login to your Affiliate Account

 

Affiliate Resources and Instructions Page

 

I hope you will join me in this exciting new endeavor, and I hope to see some of you at the retreat!

 

Until next time,

Live Joyfully!

You can subscribe to this blog here.

Sign up for Retreat Information

What do you want to create? Wake Up and Create the Life You Want: A Guide to Self-Empowerment has helped hundreds of people create the life of their dreams.  You can read their stories here.  If you choose the downloadable version, it comes with my free report on The Science of Getting Rich.”

Even better, come to the Wake Up and Create the Life You Want Retreat May 30 - June 1 and learn the techniques for taking control of your life and get free private coaching! 

***Please Note:  All transactions are processed through PayPal, but you can use Visa, MC, AMEX, or Discover.

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Necessary Luxury

When does a luxury become a necessity?  This is the question I asked all day, everywhere I went yesterday.  I got some really good responses . . .

 

  • Never – the two terms are mutually exclusive.

  • When it’s chocolate!

  • Always – everyone needs a little luxury in their life.

  • When you’re rewarding yourself for a job well-done.

  • When you’re rewarding someone else for a job well-done.

  • When you want to let someone else know you love them.

  • When quality matters – sometimes what seems like a luxury is really an investment in quality.

  • When you want to show that you’ve reached a certain level of stature – social or economic.

  • Never – the two terms are mutually exclusive.  Embrace the fact that you’re indulging in a luxury and be proud of it!

 

I happen to agree with all of these since, you know, I’m just always so agreeable! And I could certainly add a few more like, but the one I’d really like to add since I didn’t hear it was “when you want to let your Spirit know you love her!”  (Or him.)

 

I’ve been a long-time believer in Steven Covey’s “Sharpen the Saw” concept.  I believe in it because I’ve personally had success with it.  In fact, I teach taking it one step further – don’t do anything until your saw is razor sharp!  Here is what I mean.

 

My mission, my passion, my reason for life, is to motivate, educate, and inspire others to be their best.  How do I do that?  Through my writing and speaking.  A “sharp saw” for me means to constantly be working on my writing and speaking skills.  This blog started as practice for my writing skills.  I can look back over posts from the beginning and get really embarrassed sometimes! 

 

I joined the National Speakers Association in order to have the resources necessary to sharpen my speaking skills.  I love being a member of that organization so much I can’t even express it in words – you’ll just have to trust me!  Naturally, being a member has helped me – I learned how to practice and how to get more speaking engagements so that I can practice – definitely a saw sharpener. 

 

But there’s something else – some other ingredient for my ultimate success that I have – to “sharpen,” and that is my spirit.  You see, I’ve learned that I cannot motivate, educate, and inspire others, until I am motivated, educated, and inspired myself.

 

If I sit down to write a post but my vibes are not pretty high, it’s basically a waste of time.  I end up starting over, or throwing the idea out all together.  Usually, if I’m not vibrating with my source energy, it’s not a very good topic anyway.  I’ve had times when I was feeling really good, wrote a post that I thought was not very well-written, but had tons of comments and compliments on it. Why is that?  Because somehow, you (the reader) can feel the energy coming through when you read it.  David Hooper says, “Everything you create is infused with your energy,” and based on my experience, he’s absolutely correct.

 

In fact, once I figured this out several months ago, once I noticed the connection, I made a promise to myself and to the universe that I would not write, create a speech, a seminar, or anything else for that matter, unless I was in a good mood, connected to source, and high vibe-in’ it!

 

If I’m feeling stressed or burnt out, my posts are sometimes “late.”  I try to post every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at 6 AM EST.  But if I’m not feeling it, I figure you’d rather wait for something good than settle for something dull.  I believe that if I write when I’m in a bad mood, or even a non-chalant mood, you’ll feel that when you read my post.  Why would I want to pass on a low vibration like that?  I wouldn’t.  So I don’t.  And I certainly would not want to pass that on in a keynote speech or seminar.  In fact, I’m wondering what the world would be like if everyone became aware of this fact – that we pass on our vibrations in every interaction we have with others – and started to deliberately make certain that we were always in a good mood when dealing with others.  Hmmmm.  But that’s another post!  Back to luxury versus necessity.

 

See, I’ve had many writers and speakers tell me that to be in a good mood when you write or speak is a luxury.  I agree.  But they go on to say that it’s not necessary.  I disagree.  It’s a luxury you simply cannot afford to omit if you’re going to make a positive difference in this world.

 

So my main luxury, every day, is my Self MEI time.  MEI – Motivation, Education, Inspiration.  I love it; it’s part of my morning ritual; I don’t start my day without it any more that I would drive to work without first taking a shower and getting dressed.  It’s my way of sharpening the most important part of my saw.

 

Steve Pavlina wrote a similar article back in 2004 and I like the way he explains what I’m trying to say here.  Steve goes on to point out that just taking a break or time off isn’t good enough; you need to do something with that time to improve your performance. 

 

Keep in mind that when I talk about “success” and “performance”, I’m not even talking about success in your career; I’m talking about your personal life-experience success – whatever that means to you.  It can be, and I hope it is, related to the work you’ve chosen to do, but your ultimate success (happiness) in life is what matters most.

 

I’ll be discussing this in great detail in my up-coming retreat.  Knowing the content, I can confidently say that my “Wake Up and Create the Life You Want Retreat” is a necessary luxury, and I hope to see you there.

 

Until next time,

Live Joyfully!

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What do you want to create? Wake Up and Create the Life You Want: A Guide to Self-Empowerment has helped hundreds of people create the life of their dreams.  You can read their stories here.  If you choose the downloadable version, it comes with my free report on The Science of Getting Rich.”

Even better, come to the Wake Up and Create the Life You Want Retreat May 30 - June 1 and learn the techniques for taking control of your life and get free private coaching! 

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Self-Discipline: From Thinking to Doing Being

Self-discipline has been a topic of great interest to me for as long as I can remember.  Recently while reminiscing with a high-school classmate she made the observation, “Debra, you were always so much more mature than the rest of us!”  I never saw myself that way back then, but looking back, I suppose it was that strive toward order and control that sometimes drove my friends nuts!

 

That’s not to say that I haven’t matured since high school – I certainly hope I have!  But self-discipline means something entirely different to me these days.  Instead of mere willpower to create a plan and adhere rigidly to it, requiring great fetes of strength of mind, will, and character, I now approach self-discipline as the ability to do the right things according to my highest good and to change course immediately if need be.  Allow me to explain.

 

My old paradigm of self-discipline was to create a plan of action and follow it to the letter.  Thoughts – words – planning – action.  Eventually, if you stick with your plan, accomplishment ensues.  While this paradigm certainly works and served me well for many years, I’ve outgrown it.

 

My new paradigm is this:  Desire – Insight – Achievement.  What’s the advantage?  SPEED! 

 

Over the years, I’ve learned that anything and everything I’ve ever wanted was always within my grasp, I just had to get out of my own way, out of my limited way of thinking, and allow it into my experience.  How?  By allowing the intelligence of the universe that God originally put into motion to work for me.  You see, we get what we think about the way we think about it whether that’s what we want or not.  Let me give you an example relating to money.  A lot of people worry about money.  A lot of people say they want more money.  So they worry about how to get more money.  They worry about someone taking their money away from them, something happening to them, etc.  (I’m stopping now – remember, Be Careful What You Cause Others to Picture.)

 

Worrying about money brings you more worrying about money.  What these people find is, if they apply my old paradigm to making money, once they get it, they have to set a new goal immediately in order to feel safe.  They feel as if they must constantly be working toward achieving the next goal.  It’s like a task just waiting to be done – once it’s done, so what?  Next task.  It’s the only way to keep the worrying at bay, but it’s only temporary.  Eventually, the next goal is achieved and you’re back to worrying again because that’s what you’re attracting to yourself is worry about money.  Let me paint a better picture for you – a real life example.

 

My ex-husband and I used to sell life insurance.  We spent our days in other people’s homes listening to their fears about money.  We were shocked one day to meet a couple who, together, made $10,000 a year, had $5,000 in the bank, and thought they were very wealthy.  (By emphasizing the word, thought, I’m not making a judgment, simply wanting you to make the connection.) They were proud of how much money they had, earned, and tithed to their church. 

 

Successful self-discipline doesn’t take you to a state of doing, but rather to a state of being.  This couple just wanted to be happy, have happy kids (2), and have enough money to live happily and tithe to their church.  (To people in this area, tithing 10% of whatever you make is, for the most part, their way of giving what they owe of their abundance back to God by giving it to their church.  Anything they give to charities is considered “above-and-beyond,” and doesn’t count, except for tax purposes!)

 

So if developing the self-discipline to be what you desire as much of the time as possible is the goal, how does one achieve that?  Here’s what I’ve learned.

 

Step 1: Define what you want.  Is it a material item, condition, or state of being?  A state of being is the easiest to accomplish since all you have to do is make the decision to be it and you’re there.  Planning can help you maintain that state.  For example, if your goal is to be happy, simply make the decision to be happy right now, but plan how to stay there or create that state as often as possible.  It would be worthwhile to create a list of the things, conditions, feelings, etc. that make you happy – that would be your plan.  If you’re seeking something material or other than a state of being, move on to Step 2.

 

Step 2: Answer this question:  Why?  Why do you want this?  What would having this accomplish for you?  Most of the time, we desire things because we think they would make us happy.  That’s why lots of motivational gurus and law of attraction teachers tell us to just be happy in the now, but there are other states of being worth striving for – pride, free of worry, confident, relaxed.  Yes, I know, most of these are just synonyms for happiness, but I love to define things in many ways and find it helps to do so.

 

Step 3:  Describe the essence, feeling, or quality that having this item would bring you.  How will you feel once you have accomplished this goal or acquired this item?  How would you feel about it? Visualize your life once your goal has been obtained.  How are you different?

 

For example, one of my desires is a new house.  Instead of going into all the reasons that I think I want a new house, or why I deserve a new house, or listing everything that is wrong with my current house, I simply focus on how I would feel about my new house:    Proud.  I will take excellent care of it.  It will be organized and clean. 

 

Step 4:  Create affirmations that establish your “being-ness.”  In other words, you have achieved your desire, therefore you are _____________.  Start your affirmations with, “I am . . .”  I am proud of my home and take excellent care of it.  My home is organized and clean.

 

Step 5:  Share the wealth.  Help others who are seeking the same thing get it.  We get more of what we want by helping others get what they want.  If you can’t make a direct correlation between what you want and helping others get it, what do you have to give?  What are your talents?  How can you be of service?  How can you find the people who want what you have to offer?

 

Step 6:  Stay the course.  Perhaps the highest endeavor to attempt in life is that of making up your mind and sticking with it, while still being able to perceive when you’re off the path.  Once you find your true life’s path, this will be much easier to do.  That’s not to say that you won’t constantly want more or change your mind about certain specifics; we are constantly experiencing new things and creating new desires.  That’s the nature of life.  Actions create outcomes and we either like the outcome and want more or we don’t like the outcome and change course.  But once you decide on your overriding desire, stay true to it.  Otherwise, know that each time you change your mind there could be an increased delay in what you want coming to you.  I’ve written about this before in the Value of Persistence.

 

Step 7:  Obey your subconscious.  Once you begin acting out of your desired state of being, you will start to get “clues” as to what you should do.  This is your higher self, or God, speaking to you.  Listen and do as you’re told.  That is self-discipline.

 

Until next time,

Live joyfully!

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Sign up for Retreat Information

CREATE THE LIFE YOU WANT NOW When you’re ready to take control of your life, you’ll want to purchase my latest book to get started on the right path. You’ll learn my latest success tips and how I’ve applied 20 years of solid business principles and the Law of Attraction to acquiring the life of my dreams. Wake Up and Create the Life You Want: A Guide to Self-Empowerment is helping many others do exactly the same.  You can read their stories here.  If you choose the downloadable version, it comes with my free report on “The Science of Getting Rich.” Don’t miss out on this very special offer!

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Posted under Inspiration, Law of Attraction, Leadership, Motivation, Success, Weight Loss

Decision-Making Based On Your Values

I love it when I’m inspired by one of my readers.  Yesterday, Scot Herrick posted a comment on my post, Life Balance, and touched on a topic that I cover in my seminars and plan to spend quite a bit of time on in my up-coming retreat.  (More details on that coming – I promise!)  However, I’m not sure I’ve ever blogged about this process.

Here is Scot’s comment:

“I think one of the more interesting challenges that need addressing is how people know when they are being asked to make a choice (e.g., you just say “yes” to anything your manager wants that requires extra hours outside of the normal work hours) and how to frame that choice against, for example, your values.

How to know and make the choice in the moment. How to consistently implement that in the moment. Now, there’s a good challenge!”

Yes – exactly – that is the challenge!  And that’s one of the reasons I have my seminar audiences role-play this exact concept.  Here’s what we do.

First, we spend some time defining our values and prioritizing them.  If you’re new here at DebraMoorhead.com, here’s an article that will walk you through how to do this step.

Then I have my audience create a list of activities they feel “obligated” to that do not fit within their values.  It’s amazing how many items almost everyone can come up with.

Next, we discuss briefly how we got involved in that obligation, and make sure that we’ve identified things properly. Sometimes you think you don’t want to do something, but you really do – it really is within your value set – or you’re just choosing not to enjoy something when you could if you changed your frame of reference.  Let me give you an example.

Many parents complain about having to attend so many of their children’s’ school functions, when being involved in their child’s education is important to them.  And, if they were to be honest, they really enjoy having an excuse to leave work early or the camaraderie with the other parents, or just spending time with their child after the event at the Pizza Hut – or whatever.

Similarly, many people try to shift to doing more work within their church saying that it makes them feel good, when in fact it doesn’t – it just makes them feel more obligated and stressed.  They might get coerced into teaching a Sunday school class, and even though they know they are contributing and making a difference, not really enjoying the actual work required for the activity.

In other words, it’s important to be truly honest with yourself, about which activities you want to keep, eliminate, and possibly add.  I find that most of us just need more down time – time to relax, meditate, pray, read, and just be.  Once you make your decision, enjoy it; don’t get caught up in everyone else’s complaining habits.

Next comes the fun part – we role-play saying “No.”  First, I just have them turn to each other and say the word – several times.  We have fun with it.  Then, knowing that the real world doesn’t operate that way and that most of us like to soften disappointment, I have them practice saying this to each other:  “I’m sorry, but I’ll have to say no.  It just doesn’t fit within my value system at this time.  If something changes, I’ll let you know.”

What does that say?  It’s much better than feigning the excuse, “I don’t have the time,” because what will a lot of people come back and say?  “Sounds like a time management problem to me!”

Instead, the above statement gives the main point straight out – No.  It also says, “I know my values and I value myself enough to abide by them.”  Most importantly, it says, “Don’t call me, I’ll call you,” but in a gentler way.

Next, I have the audience actually visualize delivering this statement to someone in their life at the present time that they really want to say it to.  Everyone has someone!  We pretend that person is in front of us and we role-play again, having a lot of fun.  Then we discuss other possible scenarios and role-play anything we feel necessary.  For example, sometimes it’s not the same person who comes to you that you can’t say NO to, but a particular group.  So we use a “faceless person” and visualize the event.

The reason I like role-playing so much is because I have seen the effectiveness of practicing.  You can practice anything in your mind and be better prepared for the actual event.  When I was a music major in college I sometimes couldn’t get to the instrument I needed to practice.  Several of my professors told me it would work just the same to imagine the fingerings and techniques, imagine the instrument, imagine the feeling, etc.  I was amazed at how well it worked.  Sure it’s not 100% like the real thing, but it is amazingly close.

So what is “the real thing” in this scenario?  Actually saying No in a situation where you are being asked to do something outside your value system.  Getting back to Scot’s comment - the challenge of consistently implementing your choice in the moment -  practice makes perfect.  Plan it, visualize it, practice it, and do it.

I have been in the situation of having a supervisor ask me to work on projects that would require extra hours.  Once I was aware of the situation, I would simply say, “About the XYZ project you requested that I work on – you do realize that it will require overtime?”

I had only one of two responses:  One manager said, “Yes, is that okay?”  He knew I did not have children and given everyone’s work load assumed I had the least to do.  At that time in my life, I was okay with that.  The point here is I didn’t work for free.  I deserved to be paid for those hours – I was not in a salaried position and did not need to prove myself (I was not a new employee.)

Another manager responded with, “Okay, I’ll get someone else to do it,” which was also fine with me at that point in my career.  I sent the message that I would not be taken advantage of.  I would have been happy to have completed the work at my hourly rate, but he did not want to pay overtime and I knew that, which was why I addressed it.

If you are currently in a situation, or several of them, where you need to start bowing out and want to do so gracefully, another way that frequently works is to post your values at your workstation.  Trust me, people will notice.  If they don’t, here’s another great tip:  The next time someone comes to you and asks you to do something you feel uncertain about, pull out your list, right in front of them, and say, “Hmmmmm.  I’m not sure if that fits within my value system.  Can I get back to you on that?”

It’s good to let people know that you’re growing, developing, and changing.  Improvement is a good thing and if that means you have to let go of certain obligations, it will be worth it – to everyone - in the end.  After all, the best person for any position is the one who really wants to be there.

Until next time,

Live joyfully!

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CREATE THE LIFE YOU WANT NOW When you’re ready to take control of your life, you’ll want to purchase my latest book to get started on the right path. You’ll learn my latest success tips and how I’ve applied 20 years of solid business principles and the Law of Attraction to acquiring the life of my dreams. Wake Up and Create the Life You Want: A Guide to Self-Empowerment is helping many others do exactly the same.  You can read their stories here. If you choose the downloadable version, it comes with my free report on “The Science of Getting Rich.” Don’t miss out on this very special offer!

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Life Balance

Everyone seems to be seeking life balance these days; it’s the most common question I receive in speeches and seminars and the most requested topic when someone calls to book me for a presentation.  Most people believe that their “work” life is out of balance with their “real” life and they want a quick fix or a list of steps or a ritual to perform to make it all better.  And I do provide that – the information on how to achieve life balance, anyway.

 

Today I’m going to make you stretch your thinking a little by saying that, are you ready for this (?), you already have life balance.

 

Yep.

 

It’s true.

 

Your work, your daily activities, your thoughts, and your feelings all represent the balance of who you think you are.  Let me explain.

 

Every day, all day long, we make choices.  We commit to things we’re asked to do.  Some are work related, others are personal.  Most of us over-commit, but that’s another post.

 

When we make these choices, there is always at least a split-second decision-making process that goes on in our minds.  Usually, the question we ask ourselves is, “Should I do this?”  And out of a sense of “obligation,” we say Yes - to anything, and everything.  Then, we harbor resentment toward the person or the activity, and when the time comes, we let our resentment put us in a bad mood, and complain about how we’re overworked, over stressed, and “out of balance.”

 

In reality, the “should do’s” in our lives come from our perception of who we believe we are, have become, or are becoming.  “I want my kids to remember me as an involved parent, so I’ll attend all the school meetings, coach all the sports teams, and volunteer to run all of the fundraisers.  I want my boss to like me so I’ll sign up for every extra project at work that I can, work 80 hours a week instead of 40-45, not ask to be paid overtime even though I really need the money, and do everything I can to make sure everyone sees what I do, how committed I am, and how much better I am than everyone else.  I want my spouse to love me and realize he/she can’t live without me, so I’ll be the perfect wife/husband by never complaining about all the work I do, even though it’s all for them.  Being a good church member is very important to me, so I’ll commit myself to attending every service and being as involved as I can.  And doing all of this will make me happy, or, if not, I’ll be too busy to notice.  Oh no, wait, I’m out of balance!”

 

Or dead!

 

Does this person’s life sound “out of balance” to you?  I agree.  It does.  But here’s the thing.  It’s not.

 

Our lives are perpetually in balance.  How?  Twenty-four hours in every day.  Seven days in every week.  Fifty-two weeks in every year.

 

What is out of balance is our thinking.  Your self-image of who you are is what dictates the answers to those “should do” requests.  Shift your thinking, shift your self-image, and you will suddenly feel the life balance you are seeking.  How? 

 

Define your values.  If being at every event for all three of your children is a top priority for you, that’s fine!  But be realistic about the time commitment required and balance (our word of the day) that value with the others in your list. 

 

Some of the most successful and highly-paid people in the world admit to working 80-hour weeks in order to get ahead.  That’s fine, too!  But they either didn’t have a family during those years, or they weren’t around much for them. 

 

Maintaining a welcoming home can be a full-time job.  Most women I know who are full-time homemakers and mothers admit to not knowing how women who work do everything.  In reality, they don’t.  Something inevitably goes undone because of that whole 24-hours-in-a-day concept again. 

 

Too often in my seminars, I see women comparing themselves to their neighbors; the working mother beats herself up because her house isn’t as clean as the lady’s next door who stays home, and the full-time mom beats herself up because she’s not helping her husband make a living for the family!  Who’s right and who’s wrong?  Both, and neither.  It’s not about right or wrong, it’s about what matters to you.  What do you want?  What makes your heart sing?

 

If every woman (and man) would do what makes her soul feel satisfied, the children, bosses, spouses, and churches would all be the better for it.  Why?  When you take care of yourself, most importantly your soul, everything else falls into place.  After all, life is balanced.  God knew what He was doing when He created 24/7/52.  Don’t you think?

 

Until next time,

Live joyfully!

You can subscribe to this blog here.

Sign up for Retreat Information

CREATE THE LIFE YOU WANT NOW When you’re ready to take control of your life, you’ll want to purchase my latest book to get started on the right path. You’ll learn my latest success tips and how I’ve applied 20 years of solid business principles and the Law of Attraction to acquiring the life of my dreams. Wake Up and Create the Life You Want: A Guide to Self-Empowerment is helping many others do exactly the same.  You can read their stories here.  If you choose the downloadable version, it comes with my free report on “The Science of Getting Rich.” Don’t miss out on this very special offer!

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Posted under Education, Inspiration, Law of Attraction, Leadership, Motivation, Success

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