Many people get time off this time of year.  Between Advent, Christmas, Hanukah, Kwanzaa, Las Posadas, Soya Luna, Dong Zhi, Boxing Day, Omisoka, and others I’ve left out, we should all get some days off in December.  Are you going to make the most of them?

I know, I’m making it sound like work, which is what you’re trying to get away from, but bear with me on this for a few paragraphs.

The holidays are an excellent excuse to develop one of the most important skills you can have – social.  Happiness in life, to a large degree, comes from good relationships with other people, in your family and personal life, as well as at your work.  The work on emotional intelligence by Daniel Goleman and others suggests that your social skills will have more of an impact on your success than your intellectual ability, education, and experience combined.  How are your social skills?

Fortunately, social skills are both learned and learnable.  Some of us come to them more naturally than others due to our personality types, but there is much to be said for how we were brought up as well.  If you had a parent who was naturally the “life of the party,” you either embraced their talent and easily mix with others, or you shied away from social situations and feel uncomfortable even today among family, friends, and peers.

While there are many points I could make about social skills, the biggest mistake I see people make in social settings is that they get too wrapped up in themselves.  No one joins a pity party, so never start a conversation with everything wrong that’s happened to you over the past year.

Instead, be interested, not interesting.  Ask questions.  How’s your spouse?  How old are your children now?  What colleges are they pursuing?  Be on the lookout for ways you can genuinely help someone else.  Maybe one of your employees’ teenagers is trying to get into an internship program and the person making the decision is in another one of your social groups.  A “good word” from you just might be the spark that establishes a win-win for both parties and makes you look like a hero.

Of course at some point you’ll need to share a few things about yourself, and without being untruthful, describe your life in the best light possible.  Expressing an attitude of, “I lost my job in October due to cutbacks in my company, so I’ve had a lot of time to research myself and my talents and I am eagerly awaiting the next opportunity,” will inspire others to help you in whatever way they can, while an attitude of, “I got canned and I’m waiting for MY government bailout,” will make others want to “move on.”

Spend quality and quantity time with your immediate family.  Create memories.  Plan vacations and local outings that everyone will enjoy.  Most importantly, let your intention be to have fun, then relax and let it happen.

When you dedicate yourself to creating and maintaining a wonderful personal life, the quality of every other area of your life will improve.  You will be happier, healthier, more rested, relaxed, and productive.  You will experience greater happiness and satisfaction at home, and you will be far more effective and capable when you go back to work.

Have an inspirational holiday!

Until next time,
Live Joyfully!

Posted under Inspiration, Motivation

“There is nothing that is a more certain sign of insanity than to do the same thing over and over and expect the results to be different.”
–Albert Einstein

So you want a different life?  What are you going to do about it?  Today?

Even one small change in your routine can make a huge impact on your results.  Change your habits, and you change your life.  Don’t change your habits, and your life remains the same.  There is nothing wrong with a small change, one tiny step forward, but it must be there or you’ll continue to get what you already have.  Which is fine, if that’s what you want.  What do you want?  What are you going to do about it?

Until next time,
Live Joyfully!

Posted under Conscious Creation, Inspiration, Motivation, Success

If you were invisible, would you live your life differently?  Think about this for a moment.  If you were invisible and no one could see you no matter what you did, what would you be doing right now?  What would you choose to do with the rest of your life?

Let’s take it one step further, and imagine that as well as being invisible, you have no name and no identity.  Would you live your life differently if nothing that you did could ever be traced back to you?  Would you still want to write that book or record that album if you couldn’t put your name on the cover?

Taking the time to think about your answers to this question will help you find balance in your life.  How?  It will help you align with your true purpose.  Your answers will help you see where you are being of service to others, and where you are possibly wasting time trying to please your ego.   Let me give you an example.

When I completed this exercise, I came to the conclusion that if I were invisible and nothing I did mattered, I would still clean and organize my home on a regular basis.  Yeah – it’s kind of crazy, I know, but I would do that for my husband as well as for myself.  It is very important to me for him to be comfortable in his surroundings and even though he doesn’t realize how much time, effort, and energy cooking, cleaning, laundry, and organizing the house requires, I know he would be a mess without it.  (Come to think of it, I am sort of invisible in this regard – aren’t we all?  But that’s another post!)

The other thing I would do if I were invisible is go around whispering in people’s ears – “You can do it!”  I would be that voice that you sometimes hear when no one is around that motivates and inspires you to become your best.  I would encourage everyone I could.  Want to lose weight?  You can do it!  Want to go back to school?  You can do it!  Want to go for that promotion?  You can do it!  Want to start your own business?  You can do it!  Want to quit your job and stay at home with your kids?  You can do it!  Whatever your heart is calling you toward, you can do it!

So, in my daily efforts of writing books, speaking, preparing seminars, designing websites, etc., all of it falls into my passion and true purpose.  All of the organizing, cooking, cleaning, writing, speech preparing, web designing etc. – all of it, as long as it is within the guidelines of helping and motivating others, (or myself), is time well-spent.

At the end of the session my higher self reminded me that I am not invisible, and that that is on purpose – by design of a Higher Power.  I am visible so that I can motivate, educate, and inspire others to be their best and reach their full potential.  It’s a good feeling to know that I am living a life, fully visible, in line with my true self.

But now it’s your turn:  What would you do if you were invisible?  Make a list of the things you would continue to do, and then a list of what you would no longer do.  How many of the latter could you let go of now?  Think about how much more freedom letting go of those things would give you to do the things that align with your true purpose.   As you begin doing more of what your inner being calls you toward, you will find more things in that realm that please you.  Living a life full of purpose requires that we remain true to our “invisible” selves.

Until next time,
Live Joyfully!

Posted under Inspiration, Motivation

“There is no passion to be found playing small, in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.”
Nelson Mandela, 11th President of South Africa

You get what you settle for in life.  Are you living the life of your dreams?  Are you the professional you want to be?  Are you making the money you want to make?  Are you the mother/father/sister/brother/aunt/uncle/provider/team mate/ employee/employer/leader you want to be?

Perhaps a better question to ask is, are you the best you that you’re capable of becoming?  Okay, we’re always in the process of becoming, so I’ll give you some slack on that one.  But are you on your way?  Can you feel your becoming?

Or, are you settling for what others around you and/or your upbringing or current surroundings/conditions have caused you to believe that that’s all you deserve or want?

Perhaps because I live in a rural area, I encounter numerous people with attitudes like this:  “My daddy was a farmer, and that’s all I’ll ever be.  I’m lucky to have a factory job that actually pays the bills.  I’m doing a little better than he did, so even though I’m not completely happy, I’m at least providing for my children the way my parents did for me.”  Some even go as far as to believe that if they do much better than their parents, that they are actually disgracing or demeaning their parents in some way.

In reality, nothing could be further from the truth.  In fact, just the opposite it true: When you hold yourself in a position that is less than all you are capable of, not only are you disgracing yourself, but everyone who has ever invested in you. Whether your parents put you through college or just helped you with your homework in elementary school, they likely invested in you in some way.  (And if they didn’t, no big deal – get over it.  That just means you owe them nothing, let alone holding yourself back so that you don’t hurt their feelings!)

Whatever it is you’ve been holding yourself back from doing, whatever the decision is, ask yourself this question:  Which do I choose to be – a person living up to her full potential, or a person who ends up with nothing but excuses?  Then listen to your heart for the answer.

Believe whatever your heart wants to believe.  Your heart knows what you are capable of becoming.  Let your light shine and achieve all that you are capable of being.

Until next time,
Live Joyfully!

Posted under Inspiration, Motivation