I’ve had several close, personal friends come to me lately for advice.  Considering this to be a huge compliment and ultimate faith in my ability to give good advice I, naturally, want to help.  Most of these people are now avid readers of this blog and know my philosophies, so they have come to me out of a sense of, “This isn’t working for me and I can’t figure out why – can you?”

About 98 percent of the time, every desire not yet manifested, and nearly every problem, stems from four basic areas.  Whether it’s something that you’re trying to create, or a situation you’d like to change, consider these 4 questions and you’ll find your blockage almost immediately.

Have you identified your desire in detail? Have you used your imagination to picture the new car, house, people treating you better at work, etc?  Your imagination is your most useful tool in recreating your life.  Since I just wrote a post on this, Facing Reality, I’m not going to spend any more time on it here, just remember to use your imagination, as you did when you were a child, to visualize your desired outcome – whatever that is.  (Most of you are getting pretty good at this.  That’s great!)

Do your thoughts reflect your true desire? What is your internal dialogue like?  You know what I’m talking about; when you’re going about your daily routine, or just sitting and mindlessly watching television, are your thoughts positive or negative?  Are you thinking about what you want and getting excited about it?  Or are you imagining “worst case scenarios” for other areas of your life?  Read How to Conquer Persistent Negative Thoughts if you think this is an issue for you, and if internal banter is a problem, check out, How to Control Your Internal Dialogue.

Do your words reflect your desire? What do you talk about?  I’m not saying that you have to share your goals with everyone you know, in fact, I usually advise against doing so.  I’m also not advocating that you talk about your dreams all the time.  But all of that gossip, negativity, bringing other people down for no reason whatsoever, or reliving how someone hurt you - all of it lowers your vibration and keeps you from getting what you want.  This is probably the biggest room for improvement in the lives of most of my friends.  You say you want one thing, but then you talk about all of your problems, everything that’s going wrong in your life, and all in the excuse of needing to talk about it.  You would be better off spending that time alone, visualizing your ideal day, interacting with no one, than participating in the latest water cooler scandal.  When you sit down for lunch with your co-workers, do you share all the good things that are happening in each others’ lives, or do you talk about the people who aren’t there at the moment, or the boss, or the company, or about how hard it is to make a living working there, etc?  Your mother was right:  If you don’t have something good to say, say nothing at all.

Read Achieve Success by Surrounding Yourself with a Positive Environment for more on this topic.

Do your actions reflect your aspirations? Are you “acting as if,” in faith?  Or are you letting other things get in the way?  Are you doing everything you can to be the person you say you want to be right here, right now, in this very moment?  Remember, determine what you want to be and then be that; do what you feel inspired to do; and you will have everything you want to have.  If you truly believe that your desire is possible, if you believe in God and the universe, and if you believe that all things are possible, your actions will reflect that belief.  You will no longer speak unkind things and you will guide your thoughts and develop the ability to focus on your true desires.  Once you accomplish this, the world is your oyster.  Wouldn’t that be worth it?

Until next time,
Live joyfully!

Technorati Tags: Motivation, Success

Posted under Law of Attraction, Leadership, Motivation, Success, Weight Loss

Have you ever given up on a project about halfway into it?  Many of us do that with our goals and dreams. Living your dream and creating the life you want is hard sometimes.  The actual work becomes so difficult, we forget about the reward at the end – living our dream - so we quit.  Then a few months down the road, we decide to start again, only to follow the same pattern.

Successful people have a way of visualizing the big dream – they focus on the result, not the work.  I can’t tell you how many times in developing this website I’ve almost given up.  I have literally had the thought, “Forget it.  This is too hard, I can’t do this.  No one should have to go through this, there’s got to be an easier way.”  Then I realized there was an easier way; I could hire someone to design the site for me.  But then I’d be at their mercy every time I needed to change it.  I want a site that I can re-design and customize on a moment’s notice.  If I give a speech and want to make materials available to that audience alone, I want to be able to do that immediately and on my own.  Luckily, I’m a very determined person who doesn’t give up easily.  I don’t like to give in and let something beat me.  More appropriately, I was able to keep my thoughts focused on the desired result instead of how complicated the process.

I’m still working on my site – constantly.  There’s a lot more I want to change and the list grows daily, but I can do it all myself and I’m constantly learning.  I also enjoy the creative side of maintaining my site myself. With each new language I learn, it seems as if there’s another that must be learned to go with it.  Then there’s the marketing side with new methods introduced daily.  There’s also the profitability side, which accounts for a lot of stress as well.  The important thing is that I’m living my dream of motivating, educating, and inspiring others to be their best through my writing, speaking and consulting.  This site is the glue that holds all of that together and to turn it over to someone else would not work for me.  So when the going gets tough, even painful at times, I let my “control freak” kick in and guide me through the process.

How to overcome the strong notion to quit

So what are some ways that you can overcome that strong notion we all get when the going gets tough to just call it quits?  I’ve put together some ideas and thoughts for you that have helped me.  First of all, take a step back and ask yourself, “What am I trying to do?  What is the desired result?”  If that desired result is strong enough, it will keep you going.  That’s what kept me going on this project and does so almost daily.  I remind myself of my unwavering desire to have complete control over my website.  That’s the most important aspect of my career right now.

Realize that it’s not really you

Those thoughts of, “I’m not smart enough to do this,” or any version of, “I can’t,” are just hogwash.  You can do it or you wouldn’t have started/been assigned the project to begin with.  More than likely, you just need to eat something, take a break, go for a walk, read something light, or get some sunlight - REFRESH!  At the very least, you need some perspective.  Refuse to give in to any negativity, wherever it’s coming from.

Make sure it’s your goal/dream

It’s common for us to get caught up in someone else’s dream.  If you’re faced with a situation where the work should be easy for you to accomplish, and you know how to do virtually everything required to accomplish it, but you’re still confronting blockages, think about whether or not this is your goal.  Or, are you being used to accomplish someone else’s dream?  When you work for someone else, it’s easy to get caught up in this, especially if you’ve chosen a field you’re not passionate about.  Assuming you can’t quit, (and I strongly recommend you not quit a project you’ve given your word to complete), think about what your individual reward is for the attainment of this goal.  Is it money?  Is it a better position within the company once this project is completed?  Find that incentive and focus on it.  As Brian Tracy puts it, “Let your vision of the future guide your present performance.”

Think of it as easy

With whatever you have to do today, think of it as easy, and it will be.  Don’t believe the voice in your head telling you that the accomplishment of a particular task is going to be difficult.  So you have to design a new website today?  Easy!  You’re on your way to an important meeting where you’re expected to a sign a $5 million account?  Easy!  You have only two hours to clean your two-story home?  Easy!   Why is it easy?  Because it’s important to you.

Anytime you concentrate on the difficulty of the work instead of its results or rewards, you are likely to become discouraged.  Dwell on it too long, and you will develop self-pity instead of self-discipline.  The next time you’re facing a must-do task and you’re thinking of giving up instead of paying the price, change your focus.  Count the benefits of doing what’s important, and then dive in.

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Related Posts:

Wake up and Create the Life You Want

How to Motivate Yourself into Action

We Are All Self-Employed

Seven Steps to Goal Accomplishment

Until next time,
Live Joyfully!

Posted under Inspiration, Law of Attraction, Leadership, Motivation, Success, Weight Loss

Whether you’re starting a new business or taking the leap and getting an online degree, having confidence in yourself is vitally important. We all find our inspiration in different places, but here are five tips to help with almost any endeavor – and even just life in general:

1. Ignore Everyone. Whether you have a new idea or are simply starting a new phase of your life, the more original the thought, the less good advice you will be able to receive. You won’t know if your decision to go back to school is a wise one until you’ve attended classes, and you won’t know at the moment of creation if your business proposal or novel idea is any good, but neither will anyone else. Don’t ask friends for their advice, because they don’t know the inside of your brain the way you do. Don’t ask colleagues either, as they’re likely to see anything you do as competition. Listen to yourself, and make yourself your top priority.
2. Put In the Hours. Anything worthwhile takes what sometimes seems like forever, but 90% of what separates the successful people from the unsuccessful people is time and effort. If someone you work with is more successful than you are, they’re probably putting in a lot more time. If you have to balance an online course and work, or writing a novel and work, carve the time that you need out of the rest of your life, but don’t quit your day job. Just allot a couple of hours a night to writing or studying or creating art, and keep your appointment with yourself faithfully.
3. Everyone Has Their Own Mountain. Everyone has their own metaphoric mountain to climb. For the student, returning to classes after years away, it may be the concept of homework, or it may be simple fear of math. For the writer or artist, it’s the fear that whatever they create isn’t “good.”  It’s important to remember that every mountain has more than one route to the summit. You may never actually make it to the top, but that’s okay, as long as you try. Learning and creating share one truth: they are about the journey, not the destination. This does not mean you shouldn’t have a goal – it just means you have to find your own path toward it. Just by deciding to enroll in a class, start a new business, or paint a masterpiece, you’ve taken the first step.
4. Passion Can’t Be Bought. We all have a tiny piece of our psyches that make us restless and ambitious, no matter how successful we may appear to be. That spark is passion, and you can’t buy it. It doesn’t matter what your passion is for: education, language, art, business, saving the world, what does matter is that you feed your passion, challenge yourself, and keep striving for more. Never settle.
5. Do It For Yourself. The class you’re taking might lead to a better job. The art you create might lead to fame and fortune. Both are great, but anything you do should be for your own satisfaction and happiness first, and any benefit should just be a bonus. If you do anything with money, or other people, as the motivation, you may reach your goal, but you won’t be content.

Business, art, writing and education are all wonderful things, but success only comes from hard work, confidence and motivation. Put in the hours necessary, stay passionate, and never listen to naysayers, and you’ll achieve every task you set out to complete.

Until next time,
Live Joyfully!

Posted under Education, Motivation, Success

Fanatic.  Workaholic.  Over-the-top.  Insane.  Sick.
Electrifying.  Magnetic.  Charismatic.  Enthusiastic.  Intelligent.

All of these adjectives have been used to describe someone who is passionate.

An accountant who works until 11 PM – workaholic.
A motivational speaker who gets her audience on their feet – electrifying.
A dentist with 5 times the amount of annually required CE – over-the-top.
A salesperson with customers waiting in line – magnetic.

It seems that there are some industries where it’s okay to have passion for your work, yet others where everyone assumes that if you’re in that industry, you’re there because you have to be.

The truth is, anything you do can be electrifying and profitable when it is infused with the power of passion.

Why is passion so powerful?

First of all, it makes you more informed at what you do, which typically makes you better at it.  The better you are at something, the more confident you become.  The more confident you are, the more magnetic you are, and many times, the more money you make.  So passion can mean earning more money – especially in the long run.

Secondly, having passion for a subject is a lot more fun than just tolerating it.  Imagine the cleaning woman who is enthused about her work, merrily singing and enjoying the process, compared to the one who is simply going through the motions.

Don’t be one of those people who goes through life performing only what is necessary to get through it.  Follow these 7 steps to become more passionate about your life today.

1. Imagine yourself being passionate.  Whether it’s a particular subject you want to develop, or life itself, imagine your new, passionate self.  What’s different?  Do you smile more?  Go to the gym?  Greet others with more vigor?  How does the passionate you look and feel?
2. Start with something you are already passionate about and take the time to really feel what that feels like.   I live in Kentucky where many people are passionate about our two world-renowned college basketball teams: the University of Louisville, and the University of Kentucky.  If those people could take that passion they exhibit during a big game to work on Monday morning, oh – what a world that would be!  Anything that you have fun doing will bring you that feeling that I’m talking about.  Once you’re there, try applying that feeling to whatever subject you’re wanting to develop a passion for.  Transference – in a good way!
3. Read and research your topic.  I can always get myself excited for a subject just by reading about it.  Why do you think that is?  Most writers are passionate about their subject matter.  When they’re not, it shows.  (Read – bores you to death!)
4. Develop and enhance your skills in that area.  Gardening enthusiasts can relate to this, but it applies to everyone.  Beyond just reading about the subject, get hands-on with it.  Developing your skills in an area will help you develop your passion.  Doing more with your life will help you become more enthusiastic about your life.
5. Ask, “what if?”  Once you’ve become knowledgeable and have acquired a certain level of skill, challenge the currently accepted theories in the subject area.  New inventions are created this way.
6. Share your passion – teach others.  You don’t really know something until you have to teach it.  Teaching is also selling.  When you have to stand in front of people and sell them something, you’d darn well better be passionate about it.  Just talking about the subject can ignite that little spark you need to take your passion to the next level.
7. Feed your passion by surrounding yourself with others who already have and share your zeal.  Professional organizations quite often fill the bill nicely here.  Not only are the other participants “freaks” about the topic, but these associations offer education and a chance to develop skills as well.

The most important factor in developing passion is a true desire to do so.  So being passionate about being passionate would be the first place to start!

Until next time,
Live joyfully!

Posted under Education, Inspiration, Law of Attraction, Leadership, Motivation, Success

I talk a lot about changing your perspective in order to maintain a positive attitude.  Today, I have a fresh perspective and even better reason for facing adversity head on.

When you face a challenge, whether it’s a financial crisis, relationship issue, or anything that causes upset, you grow in a way that means you will never face that same challenge exactly that way again.  It’s not just that dealing with issues openly makes you stronger, it gives you experience that makes you exponentially stronger than someone who has not dealt with that issue.  Let me give you an example.

This week my husband alerted me to an issue with an employee.  She has made a $1,600.00 mistake on another employee’s account.  I could fire her and/or the other employees involved.  I could scold everyone sternly and threaten them within an inch of their lives, (don’t think it hasn’t occurred to me!), but when I researched the issue with her calmly, I discovered that there was a flaw in her thinking and in her training, for which I am partly responsible.

The ultimate result will be a change in our office policy on how employee’s accounts are handled, and, rest assured, this employee will not make this mistake again.  She is a more valuable employee to me now because she will be more successful in the future.  I am a better employer because I corrected an overlooked flaw in my policy.

Every adversity is setting you up for future success.  No matter what it is.  Bo Bennett says,

“Think of success as a game of chance in which you have control over the odds. As you begin to master concepts in personal achievement, you are increasing your odds of achieving success.”

Adversity is often the greatest fuel to personal achievement.  Stack the cards in your favor and face your challenges head on.

Until next time,
Live joyfully!

I’ve added a special value to one of my upcoming presentations: everyone who signs up for my “Eliminate Clutter and Organize Your Life” webinar through TheSelfHelpSchool.com will receive a free copy of the e-book. Use the ad below and register today!

Posted under Inspiration, Leadership, Motivation, Success

I am proud to announce my new affiliation with TheSelfHelpSchool.com.  This project has been a work in progress for some time now and I’m happy to see it come to fruition.

As most of you know, I’ve been offering my Wake Up and Create the Life You Want seminar in several formats, including the classic printed book version.  I anticipate this new format via webinar will allow me to reach thousands of people all over the world.  It is my sincere desire to help people live more consciously and purposefully, creating the life of their dreams.

I have two upcoming courses:

1. Eliminate Clutter and Organize Your Life, based on my book with the same title, and
2. Wake Up and Create the Life You Want.

If you’d like to be more organized and get control of the clutter in all areas of your life, my Eliminate Clutter and Organize Your Life webinar will definitely inspire you to take action.

If you’d like some coaching on how to take control of the circumstances in your life and make life-transforming changes, sign up now for my Wake Up and Create the Life You Want virtual seminar.

Full course descriptions, times, and registration details can be found by clicking the links below.

Until next time,

Live Joyfully!

Posted under Education, Inspiration, Law of Attraction, Leadership, Motivation, Success

Of the three final contestants in last season’s Food Network Star challenge, only the eventual winner, Aaron McCargo, Jr. , made the statement, “I am the next Food Network star,” in his application video. Now, I’ve written and talked about making statements of belief like this, and even at this level, but to see it in action – well – let’s just say, I got chills!

Anything you truly, deeply, with all your heart and soul believe you can have, you can have. It really is as simple as that. Wishing and hoping leave you wishing and hoping. Wanting something, but believing it’s impossible makes it impossible. Dreaming big, planning, taking action, developing self-discipline, all of that is for naught without belief.

How do you know if you really believe in something? You can feel it. Use an “I am” statement and pay close attention to how you feel. “I am the next Food Network star.” [Obviously, implant your own desired belief here.] Now, how do you feel when you say that? Skeptical? Are there any other thoughts that immediately follow it, like, “yeah, right,” implying sarcasm? If so, it’s not a belief yet.

If you’re having trouble getting to that feeling place, as in, you’re not quite sure if you really feel it, here is an exercise that will help.

Consider a subject that you know is absolutely true. For example, my hair is strawberry-blonde. I’m not a blonde, I’m not a redhead, I’m somewhere in-between and several hair dressers have labeled me as “strawberry-blonde,” it makes sense, so I believe it.

When I make the statement, “I am a strawberry-blonde,” it elicits a feeling of, what I call, “matter-of-factness.” This is a good place to start, but this statement/belief doesn’t bring forth a lot of emotion. I mean, being a strawberry-blonde isn’t exactly something I aspired to, it’s really just a trait I was born with. But it is true; at least, I believe it to be true.

So to take this process to the next level, I would think back to something in my past that I went after and achieved. “I won a Juilliard scholarship.” Now we’re getting closer because applying for that scholarship required a lot of work, I was really excited about it, there was fierce competition, and I won. (Even though I chose not to go – but that’s another post!)

You should continue to make statements of beliefs until you feel good enough to move on to your new desire. Make your “I am . . .” statement, and see how that feeling compares to the previous ones.

Do this exercise again and again, until your belief starts to take shape the way you want it. With time and enough self-discipline on your part to perform this exercise as often as necessary, you can change your beliefs, and your outward life experience will change with them.
Try it; you’ll be glad you did!

Until next time,

Live Joyfully!

Posted under Education, Inspiration, Law of Attraction, Leadership, Motivation, Success, Weight Loss

Many historians consider Napoleon Bonaparte to be the greatest military leader who ever lived. Napoleon’s courage was legendary, but it was not vain or impetuous. He didn’t just “luck into” or “stumble upon” greatness, he planned for it.  Let me explain.

Napoleon was famous for his meticulous attention to detail; for taking pains to study and thoroughly understand every military situation he ever faced. He led the French army in hundreds of minor and major engagements and lost only three, the last one being the Battle of Waterloo.

He carefully considered and followed through to its natural conclusion every setback or possibility of defeat he might encounter and then he prepared against it. To be caught unprepared for unexpected setbacks is a mark of weak leadership.  It is not the setback itself that illustrates your weakness to others, but your unpreparedness, or inability to deal with it that does.  Confidence comes from the constructive use of pessimism, thinking about what could go wrong long before it does, and developing a plan of action “just in case.”

The more you know about what you face, the greater your courage and confidence. The more time you take to think through a situation, the more capable you will be of dealing with it when it arises. Napoleon planned for every contingency.

The only real measure of business leadership is results. This requires the ability to act boldly with no guarantees of success. The greatest obstacle to overcome is fear of the unknown.

Most people allow their fears to sit around in their minds, fester, and grow mold.  Failure to deal with these fears in a constructive way causes the creation of the fear itself.

Developing a plan of action, however, whether it’s for a confrontation, or your life in general, will increase your confidence and make you feel better about whatever subject you’re dealing with.  I’ve found that the best antidote to fear is preparedness.

Continue learning and growing – no matter what your field or endeavor, there is always more you could know. The more you know, the more confidence you will have.  The more confidence you have, the better you feel.  The better you feel, the more successful you will be, and the greater you will become.

Spend as much time in the planning process as you need to feel good about the upcoming situation. The more prepared you are, the more confidence you will have.  Personal strategic planning is a great tool to use for your life in general, and project planning can be applied to many subjects, business and personal.  In my experience, there is nothing better than a good plan.

Until next time,
Live Joyfully!

Posted under Education, Leadership, Motivation, Success

Some of you are about to experience Déjà vu.

Posted under Inspiration, Law of Attraction, Leadership, Motivation, Success

I have received several emails from friends, colleagues, and clients recently who are going through a tough time this summer.  

I blame the heat.  (92 degrees F right now in Flemingsburg – no wonder we’re all about to go mad!)

I have to admit, I’ve had my bouts of self-doubt the past couple of months as well.   Luckily, I’ve learned to ferret out negative emotion and get control of my thoughts quickly.  It’s all about developing a habit and being as picky about your thoughts as you would be about your wardrobe.

Right now I’m seeing a pattern with many of you and I figure if it’s going on with this many of my contacts, it’s likely happening to many more of you and you’re just too shy to contact me. 

The pattern is this:  you’re being too self-critical.  Some of you are trying to live up to the expectations of others, whether it’s parents, teachers, friends, co-workers, bosses, spouses, or whoever, and you’ve allowed yourself to believe their evaluation of you, (not good enough), and that belief is cutting you off from your well-being. 

Now hear this:  There is nothing more detrimental to your ability to live a joyous life, be successful, and accomplish what you know you’re capable of achieving, than a negative attitude toward yourself.  So stop it!

I know – easier said than done.  Although sometimes just saying, “Stop it,” to myself actually works – if I really stop it.  I’ll blog about that later.

For today, here’s what I want you to do.  I want you to make a list of at least 10 things you like about yourself.  I don’t care how small or insignificant you think it might be.  When I have my seminar participants do this, I sometimes have to make them put “little” things down.  The importance of writing down items you think are too small to mention, is that those thoughts lead to bigger and better thoughts.  Here’s an example of how my writing might go in an exercise like this.

10 Things I like about Me:  (To prove that it doesn’t have to be a list, I’m going to write this paragraph style.)

I’m gorgeous, I’m smart, and I’m funny.  People always like me and I’m easy to get along with.  Of course, I’m modest, too!  (There are six already!)  I always accomplish anything I set my mind to and I have a wonderful husband who supports me in my decisions both emotionally and financially.  (Like buying a new MacBook Pro!)  I’m a good businesswoman who’s helped a lot of people through my writing, speaking, and consulting.  I love my work and the leverage that working for myself gives me. 

I could go on, but I think we’re up to twelve now and I want you to start on your own list.  Do you have gorgeous eyes?  Do people often compliment you on your smile?  Do you provide critical assistance to a loved one?  Are you good at your job? 

Remember, the point here is to focus on your positive aspects; what do you like about yourself?  If you’ve been feeling down for a while, try keeping a running list and review it several times a day.  Make it a game to see how many you can add in a 24-hour period.  When someone pays you a compliment, add it to your list.  If someone says, “Nice shoes!” write, “I have great taste in shoes.  In fact, my entire wardrobe is enviable.  I always look good.”  (Can you tell I’m pretty good at this? – oh – there’s another one for me!)

In one seminar, a woman said, “Well, I have this one thing I like about myself, but . . .”  I encouraged her to share it and then I embellished what she said with things I imagined would be true for her if she could just see them.  I went on, and on, and on, until she finally exclaimed, “Yes, all of that is true about me!”  To which I teasingly responded, “Oh, we were talking about you weren’t we?”

We are all so blessed and have so very much to be thankful for – we just need to open our eyes, our minds, and our hearts, and see it.  The more positive things you see, the more you will get, so the more you will see, and the more you will get.

Go ahead now – start your list.

Until next time,

Live Joyfully!

Posted under Law of Attraction, Motivation, Success, Weight Loss