My husband and I spent all day Friday at a Brian Tracy seminar.  It was everything I’d hope it would be and more.  Being an avid fan of Tracy’s, I was familiar with most of the material, but not all.  I also got a lot out of being there, in his presence, and hearing his concepts directly from “the horse’s mouth.” 

One particular point that he kept making over and over again, was how most people try something once, and if it doesn’t work out exactly as they’d imagined, they give up.  I understand why he kept making that point because I see that a lot too.  He’s exactly right; most people decide they want something, then as soon as they find out it’s not going to be as easy as doing nothing, they give up.

I think I’ve already made the point that I was, for the most part, a spoiled child.  This story is going to reinforce that point, but here goes.  My father drove me to school every morning.  He would often use that time to hand down lessons he learned in his business.  When Brian was talking about how successful people don’t use the word “failure,” I was reminded of my Dad teaching me the lesson that “failures” are no big deal.  He said, “If you ever fail at anything, don’t make more out of it than what it is.  Just say to yourself, ‘So, what.’  Learn what you can from it, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and move on.”   Being an entrepreneur, I’d say my Dad had a lot of experience to draw from in that regard!

Mr. Tracy told two stories that really stuck with me.  The first was about Thomas Edison.  When Mr. Edison was inventing the incandescent light bulb, he was interviewed by a newspaper reporter who questioned how he felt about the fact that he made about 5,000 attempts to create the light bulb but to no avail; he had failed.  Edison’s response was, (paraphrased here, I’m sure), “I have not failed.  I have simply identified 5,000 ways that don’t work.”  Edison and his team made over 10,200 attempts at the incandescent light bulb before achieving success.

The second story was about Bill Gates, who, when questioned in an interview this year about 32 “failures” of Microsoft responded similarly to Edison with, (again paraphrasing), “These were 32 defining moments in the history of Microsoft.”

Think about how your life would be different today if either of these men had given up after the first try.

So my question, upon reflection over the weekend, became, “How did these men manage to keep themselves motivated to keep trying?  How did they think?  What makes/made them different from the majority who give up so easily?”

The problem with asking a question like this is that we really can never know.  Edison is no longer around to ask, and even with the best of intentions, I don’t think Mr. Gates could answer the question because he truthfully doesn’t know.  He might make a guess, but most successful men don’t sit down and analyze why they’re successful and especially waste time pondering why they are more successful than others – they just are.  I, however, can speculate.

I’ve had my share of “failures” in my career and have been guilty of giving up too soon.  I have also had lots of success.  The difference, in retrospect, is a combination of five basic concepts. 

1. When I really want to achieve a goal, I research ways to make it work.  In going for my membership in the National Speakers Association, I looked at all the ways I could accomplish it.  When I found out I couldn’t do it the way I’d thought, I took a different course.  As a result, I achieved the goal 8 months sooner than my deadline.  I knew I could do it, I just had to find the right combination.  Edison must have had a similar experience; each time he made an attempt, he knew he was closer to the accomplishment.  He kept researching ways to make it work.
2. When I really want something, I don’t give up.  When I Lost 25 Pounds in One Month, I didn’t give up after one day of eating too many calories.  Instead, I saw it as an ongoing experience. If I ate too many calories one day, I’d try to eat that many fewer the next, but didn’t give up on the diet if I went over.  Instead of giving up, I made a game out of it.  I monitored my results over the course of a week, trying to reach my goal in the end.  It worked!
3. The common denominator in the above two is the desire.  If you really want something, I believe you will do whatever it takes to get it.  Think back to a time when you did achieve something you set out to do.  Now remember something you gave up on – what was the difference?  I’m guessing the desire was not as strong as you’d originally thought.  I know one woman who says she wants to lose weight, but has been “on a diet, starting Monday” for the past 30 years.  In my mind, she doesn’t want to lose weight as much as she wants to eat.  Sometimes, there’s a fear involved that we need to confront.  Maybe she’s afraid that if she loses the weight, no one will notice, it won’t change her life, or give her the desired effect she’s hoping for.  Or maybe she really doesn’t want to spend money on new clothes.  Do you have a deep-seeded fear of accomplishing something you say you want?
4. Think big, but act small.  Taking one step at a time is all that is required of anyone who wishes to accomplish anything.  When I lost my extra weight, I learned that there is actually a very small caloric difference between weighing 123 and 150 - about 300 calories per day – 100 per meal.  If you’re not paying attention and counting calories meticulously, it’s easy to overeat by 100 calories.  But turn that around and you’ll realize that’s actually a very small amount to let go of as well.   I found my “diet plan” very easy to follow and maintain after just a little research and education.
5. Stay focused on the results.  I did not set out to lose 25 pounds in one month, the goal was to think and eat like a 123-pound person because I knew that if I changed my thinking the goal would take care of itself.  I didn’t want to lose 25 pounds, I wanted to weigh 123.  I wanted to feel good and be energetic again.  I wanted to easily fit into a size 6 again.  I truly wanted the result and resolved that the difficulty of the means of getting those results would be worth it in the end.  I have a magnet on my refrigerator to this day which reads, “Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels.”  I know that phrase is hard to relate to if you’ve never been thin, or thin enough to feel good about yourself, but trust me, it’s true.

Brian Tracy encourages us to do something every day toward accomplishing a major goal.  Og Mandino wrote, “I will build my castle one brick at a time for I know that small attempts, repeated, will complete any undertaking.”

When you really want to accomplish something, but are tempted to give up, create a phrase similar to “Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels.”    When I am tempted to be lazy and not do my daily writing, I remind myself that, “Nothing feels as good as fulfilling my mission.”  And it’s true.  When I’ve written a good blog post, speech, seminar session, or training manual, I feel good for the rest of the day.  It doesn’t matter what happens for the rest of the day, I always feel good about myself and what I’ve accomplished.  My goal every day is to do that one thing that would propel my career further first thing in the morning.  As Steve Chandler says, “Do the worst first,” except, when you’re fulfilling your mission, it doesn’t feel like “the worst.” 

Your Assignment

Create a way to remind yourself to do something every day toward your most desired, major goal.  Resolve that you will take it one step at a time, and never give up.

Posted under Leadership, Motivation