You get what you think about most of the time.  Have you heard/read that as many times as I have?  Just about every motivational speaker on the circuit spouts this universal law of attraction.  But what does it really mean, how does one utilize it, and more importantly, how do we control our thoughts?

I recently viewed a special on the life of Tom Cruise.  (He has a new movie coming out so his publicist is trying to do damage control for some public faux pas made earlier this year.)  One comment made was about how the making of the last movie that Tom and Nicole starred in, Eyes Wide Shut, could possibly have been the cause of their divorce.  Somehow, I could feel eyes rolling all over America as I heard that philosophy.  But you know, it’s probably true. 

I’ve talked before about “acting the part.”  If you want to become successful, act like you’re successful and it will eventually come true.  I often tell my seminar students to choose a character, fictional if necessary, they want to become, and then act the part.  I’ve used that little trick many times throughout my life and it really works.  (Within reason, of course.  I mean, pretending to be a sheep in your local Christmas play is not going to turn you into a sheep.  I bet you’re glad I spelled that out aren’t you – you were worried!)  But have you ever stopped to think about how your negative thoughts and thoughts of what you don’t want keep you in that state of lack as well?

The powerful universal Law of Attraction says that you draw to you the essence of whatever you predominantly think about.  So if you predominantly think about things you want, you’ll get them.  If you predominantly think about what you don’t want, you’ll get that.  Let me give you an example.

My husband and I desperately want a new house.  We are, thankfully, in a position where we could purchase or build a new house this next year (2007).  However, nothing seems to be working out for us.  When we find a house we’re interested in, it’s not available.  What’s available, doesn’t suit our needs or tastes.  The lots that are available don’t work for one reason or another either.  So I’m starting to wonder, what are we attracting?

Since this is a joint venture, both my husband and I will need to have our thoughts in line with getting a new house.  Of course, I can’t control my husband’s thoughts, (if only – right ladies!), so it is up to me to work on my own thoughts.  Am I focusing on wanting a new house, or am I focusing on not wanting this one?  It’s a very subtle distinction if you’re not used to thinking about the Law of Attraction, but it’s a huge difference in universal thought.  You see, in order to draw to me the resources necessary to move into a new house, let’s say in 2007, I must constantly think about moving into that new house; how gorgeous it’s going to be, how spacious, how clean, how organized, etc.  I need to think about what it will look like, how I will feel once we’re all moved in, how efficiently my office will be laid out.  I need to visualize the wrap-around deck with access from every room, about how the house is just the right size.  I could go on, and believe me, I often do—but I think you get the picture. 

What I don’t need to think about is how difficult it’s going to be to find a house already built that has everything I want, how difficult a lot in our price range will be to find, how my husband and I may never agree on a house plan if we do build, etc.  That’s all I’m going to say because just by writing that I now must do damage control – but I wanted you to get a sense of what I’m talking about.

The next step in utilizing the Law of Attraction, is to feel your emotions as you have these thoughts.  To do this, it would probably be best if you set aside some time – say five minutes – to “have your thoughts and feel them too.”  Kind of like meditation.  As you’re thinking about whatever it is you desire, in my case, a new house, gauge your feelings.  Do you feel good – content, eager, excited, joyous?  Then you’re thinking in the right direction.  But if you’re feeling skeptical, pessimistic, discouraged, or doubtful, you need an attitude adjustment.

The good news is that as you become aware of what’s happening, you’ll be able to better control your thoughts because you’ll feel when you’re thinking wrong.  Feel bad?  Change your thinking.  Feel good?  Keep it going.

If you’ve ever tried to control your thoughts, you know that it’s not an easy task.  This is where your emotions come into play.  Many motivational gurus get this and teach it, but they never tell us why.  It is nearly impossible to control your thoughts, so don’t even try.  Instead, guide your thoughts by reaching for the way you want to feel.  It took me a long time to understand this, but if you do the exercise I mentioned above – meditate for five minutes, thinking and feeling about what it is you want, you’ll get a better understanding.  It’s one of those subjects that’s difficult to put into words.

Let me give you some more examples related to my new house – apply them to your situation.  While I strongly desire a new house, I was dreading moving out of this one because we have so much stuff.  Bam!  There’s something that’s holding me back.  So what I’m going to do now, starting today, is get rid of as much superfluous stuff, a/k/a junk, as possible.  I’m also going to start daydreaming about packing everything up and feeling really good about it.  “Our new house is ready and we’re moving in – oh, what a feeling!”

My husband and I have both been torn over the fact that while we desperately need a new house, he also needs a new dental practice facility.  We desperately need both – you have no idea.  Maybe we’ve been held back by either/or thinking.  I know I’ve been thinking that one must come first and it’s hard to decide.  Bam!  There’s another thing that’s been holding me back.  I realize now that it is possible to have both this next year – a new practice facility and a new house.  It’s been done before, in fact, many professionals make both moves at the same time.  We can do it too.  So instead of looking for one lot, we’re looking for two.  I am still open to the possibility of finding a great house already built, but the new practice will require new construction.  I feel good about this.

Are you starting to get the idea here?  Identifying and confronting your feelings about what you say you want will improve your thinking about it, and make your thoughts a better match for that which you desire.  I’m going to work on this a lot more and I’ll let you know how it goes!

Your Assignment

Spend 5 minutes a day over the next week attracting something positive into your life.  Relax, breathe deeply, think and feel that which you desire.  Start with something small if you want to “test it.”  E-mail me and let me know how it goes for you.

Posted under Leadership, Motivation