One of the biggest obstacles most of us face in accomplishing our goals is fear.  Fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of making the wrong choice, fear of the opportunity lost in making the wrong choice, fear of “losing face,” fear of making others upset with us, fear of looking too good, fear of letting others into our lives, well, I could go on and on, but I think you get the picture.  In fact, most of you, if not all of you, know all too well exactly what I’m talking about.

General George Patton said, “Fear kills more people than death.”  I am certain that from his military perspective, he had his own unique take on that concept, but what his statement means to me in this day and age is that, when we allow our fears to prevent us from living our lives to the fullest, we die on the inside.  I’ve known several people who died emotionally long before their physical deaths because they succumbed to fear.

Today I’d like to look at why we experience fear, what we can do to prevent it from destroying us, and even better, how we can learn to use fear to our advantage.

First of all, why do we have this bothersome emotion in the first place?  Many psychologists agree that fear is innate in all human beings just as the emotions of joy and anger because we need it to survive.  That makes sense especially if you think of our ancestors who had to hunt for food in order to survive.  Their instincts kicking in were necessary to prevent them from great danger and loss of life.  Even today, the fear of spiders, snakes, fast-moving vehicles, hot stoves, etc. prevent many attempts on our lives.  So we need our fear – it’s ultimately very healthy for us.

However, (and you knew that was coming, didn’t you?), when our imagination takes over in a way that causes us to think of “the worst case scenario” from a perspective of preventing us from action in business, or in our careers, how do we discern whether the threat is our intuition talking, warning us against making a huge mistake, or our ego trying to prevent itself from looking foolish in others’ eyes?  Here’s what I do.

When that twinge of fear makes itself noticeable, I literally stop to consider the worst case scenario.  What is the very worst thing that could happen?  Let’s look at some examples.

I’m not sure that fear of public speaking is number one any more, but it is still a fear for a large number of people.  So let’s say you have to give a very important presentation or speak in front of a large audience, and you’re thinking about bailing at the last minute.  What’s the worst case scenario?  You stand up in front of the audience, forget your first line, forget your entire speech, say nothing from stage fright, and/or make a complete fool of yourself in front of all your friends?  Okay, let’s say that happens.  Imagine how you’ll handle it.  Imagine what you will say when you forget that first line.  Would you say, “Wow, I can’t believe I forgot my first line?”  Or “Wow, I can’t believe Rachel and Joey are getting married?”  Basically, what I’m having you do here is visualize that first line.  Because what you’re going to realize, is that if you can memorize the backup line, you can memorize the actual first line.  Get it?  Once you get started, you’ll be fine.  What’s more, people forget bad speakers.  For that matter, they forget good speakers!

Besides, the truly worst case scenario is that you back out at the last minute, leaving someone with no speaker, making yourself look worse than if you’d delivered a nervous, awkwardly conveyed message that no one understood.  Deliver a good first line, deliver a good last line, and everything in middle will take care of itself.

Okay let’s say that your fear is starting your own business.  Common fears in this situation are, “What if I give up a good job, then fail?”  “What if I can’t support my family?”  “What if no one wants my product or service and the business never gets off the ground?”

Again, develop a backup plan.  In the 1980’s and 90’s, a lot of motivational gurus were touting that having a backup plan was like planning to fail.  I disagree.  I’ve always had a backup plan, and it drove me to work even harder at my dream because I did not want to have to fall back on that plan.  Let me give you some examples.

“What if I give up a good job, then fail?”  If that’s what’s holding you back consider this:  Leave on good terms with your current employer so that you can come back.  Many times, even if you don’t leave on good terms, in two years, everything’s forgotten and they’d love to have you back because you were a good employee.  Keep your doors open, but then work hard at making your business a success so that you never have to use those doors.  What will likely happen, is that by staying on good terms with your boss and co-workers, those people will end up in different jobs or with businesses of their own and end up as your allies in future business ventures.  Be the kind of person everyone wants to be around, and you won’t have to worry about getting a job.

“What if I can’t support my family?”  This is where a good business plan comes into play.  How much do you have in savings?  What is your monthly budget?  Which items could be cut if necessary?  A good strategic plan will overcome these types of fears in a hurry.  In fact, a good strategic plan will motivate you way beyond any fear can hold you down.

“What if no one wants my product or service and the business never gets off the ground?”  A strong resolve and good research will overcome this fear.  More than likely, if it’s a product or service that you want, someone else would like it, too.  You just have to find the right location, the right market, market the heck out of it, and be patient.  Again, a good business plan will squelch your fears in this department.  Utilize free services such as SCORE to help with planning and development.

With all that being said, are there times when you’re thinking of doing something, but it’s not right, and your fear is trying to prevent you from making the wrong move?

Yes.  Let’s talk about that next.

When you have a strong feeling that now is not the right time, the market isn’t right, you’re not ready, your family can’t handle a crunch on finances right now, or anything that you have a strong guiding feeling about, hold back.  Just wait a day or two.  Look at your strategic and business plans.  I’ve known plenty of people who looked at good business plans, but turned them down because it just didn’t “feel right,” only to find out a few weeks later that their hunch was accurate.

My point is this: whether it’s right for you, or wrong for you, you will know.  Your fear is telling you something, but you have to figure it out.  Get quiet, take an hour of solitude, meditate, pray, talk to your subconscious, do what inspires you in this moment, but ask:  Is the fear telling you that you need to be more prepared?  Or is it telling you that even though things look perfect, something else is in the works?  Is your fear trying to prevent you from “burning bridges” so that you will feel better about your business relationships in the months and years ahead?  What does this fear want you to know or do?

Fear serves you.  You are its master.  Fear is a part of you, put there by your Creator for a very distinct purpose.  Learn to interpret it correctly, and the world is your oyster.

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