In my blog post, Wake up and Create the Life You Want, I talked about how it’s important that your actions stand behind what you say you want.  I’d like to take a step back and look at that concept in more detail.

Most of us at some point in our lives have learned how to set goals.  Decide what you want, when you want it, and repeat your goal to yourself or post it somewhere that you can see it daily.  The idea behind this is that your subconscious mind will make it happen for you.  The problem with that theory is that there is something significant left out.  That simple explanation can lead a person to believe that no action is required on your part.  Have you ever set a goal based on that theory and then wondered why it didn’t materialize for you?  Many motivational writers will tell you that if your goal doesn’t manifest, it simply means the “universe” has something better planned for you.  Hogwash!  Okay, maybe sometimes that is true, but actually, there’s a lot more to it than that. 

Everything you do, every day, every hour, does only one of two things; gets you closer to your goal, or further away from it.  Nothing is neutral.

This is why it’s important to define goals and desired outcomes in each area of your life.  For example:  If you take time off from your work one afternoon to attend your child’s school play, you might feel guilty because you think that action is pulling you away from your goal to make more money, when actually, showing support for your child and his or her accomplishments is a significant goal for you in your family life.

With that being said, however, there are many actions we’ve developed as habits that pull as away from our goals.  For example:  You’ve set a goal to lose 10 pounds in the next 30 days.  One of your nightly rituals is a bedtime snack of milk and cookies.  You spend all day counting calories and watching what you eat, yet at 9:30 every night, you “blow” your diet with your ritual.  Then you wonder why you’re not losing weight.

We also have habits that relate to nothing to do with our goals, they relate to nothing at all.  What we fail to realize, is that if a habit isn’t getting you closer to what you want, it’s pulling you away.  It’s like a smoker saying they want to become healthy, so they go on a diet.  You can lose all the weight you want, but you won’t be healthy until you stop smoking.  Smoking is a habit and we overlook our habits because they’re part of us. 

People who spend a lot of time watching television often find themselves in the “underachievers and under fulfilled” category.  I watch TV every night to wind down.  I need that time.  I’m a Type A, over-achieving workaholic.  So is my husband.  We spend anywhere from 30 to 90 minutes about five nights a week watching our favorite shows that we’ve recorded.  If we didn’t, we’d be up all night working.  The television is a signal to our brains to shut down so we can restart the next day.  But I know a lot of people who turn the TV on as soon as they get home from work, complain about having to get up to make dinner, then complain about what a mess the house is and how they never have time to get things organized.  If you’re one of these people, realize this:  If you spent one less hour per night watching television just five nights a week, that would give you 32.5 extra “working” days, 8-hour days, per year.  That’s over a month!  What could you accomplish if you had an extra month added to your year?  How would you spend that time?

I’ve used television as an example, but you probably have other “time wasters” that are keeping you from accomplishing your goals.  Find out what they are and work on eliminating them.  For now, let’s move on.

Set Interim Goals

If I needed to lose 50 pounds, I would find that concept very overwhelming.  When I started designing my first website, in the back of my mind, I thought I would have it completed in a day. (!)  My expectations were too high.  While it’s fine and good to dream big, you also need to remember that whatever the goal, and no matter how small or large, you must still take it one step at a time.  You will have setbacks, unexpected interruptions, and limitations you didn’t anticipate, but that’s all okay.  You might have to learn something new in order to accomplish your goal and that learning takes time.  You can still achieve your goal, whatever it is, as long as you stick with it, remain focused, act on the signals you’re given, and direct your actions.

By setting interim goals, you’re making your goal more achievable by making it more possible.  For example, before I could publish a website, I needed to learn how to design one.  I decided to start by using a program that would do most of the work for me, but then I had to learn how to use that program.  I did, got my first site published, then started this site.  I’m using a different program for this site, and am learning XHTML coding so I can do the entire site myself, but just learned that I need to learn server based coding in order to do what I really want to do.  Okay.  So I’m doing it.  I didn’t give up.  But I have a lot of fellow speaker and consultant friends who’ve said “Forget it.  Designing a website is too hard – that’s not my thing.”  I’ll be the first to admit it’s not for everybody – it is difficult.  But to me, the reward of having complete control over my sites is worth the price of learning several new programming languages.  When you run into difficulties in accomplishing your goals, you will have to decide if the payoff is worth the price.  Some goals will be, some won’t.  And that’s okay.  My friends who gave up hired a web designer to get their site up and running and they are paying a different kind of price – both monetarily, and in eventual control.  They’re okay with that. 

If you’re trying to lose 50 pounds, realize that you’re going to lose them 1-2 pounds at a time.  It can happen quickly, especially if you follow my system in How I lost 25 Pounds in One Month, but you’re not going to wake up one morning and suddenly weigh 50 pounds less.  Even if you fasted for several days, it would still take time to lose all that weight.  You’re going to have to keep your focus on the end result and be willing to pay the price.  Trust me, it’s worth it.  “Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels.”

Listen for Guidance

I’m quite certain that you are familiar with the story of the drowning man whose extreme faith that God would save him landed him an earlier than anticipated spot in Heaven. You know the story; a man is stranded in the ocean on a raft, a crew on a dingy comes by and offers to save him, but he declines saying, “God will save me.”  A cruise ship offers to let him on board, but he delivers the same response.  A rescue helicopter is sent, but he declines their help as well, and eventually dies.  When he arrives in Heaven, he asks God, “Why didn’t you save me?”  God replies, “I sent you two boats and a helicopter, what more did you want?”

Faith is extremely important, but acting on the help God sends us is equally important if we want to survive!  Most of the time, when we fail to accomplish a goal, it’s because we didn’t accept help, or act on the guidance we were given.  “Divine Guidance” can come by way of a thought you get while you’re in the shower, an unexpected phone call from a previous client or employer, being fired from your current job, or just a strong feeling that you need to do something or contact someone.  When God speaks to me, I know it.  However, there are times when He’s trying to get through, but I’m not listening.  So you’ve got to listen and be willing to act on what He tells you to do.  Sometimes what you’re being told to do doesn’t make sense until you’re looking back on it in hindsight.  Sometimes, you think you’re getting Divine Guidance when it’s really just a distraction you have created.  You’ll know the difference, and if you make a mistake in this matter, you’ll learn from it.  The important thing here is, listen.

Your Turn

I have two assignments; the first is for those of you who are new to goal setting, the second is for you veterans out there.

If you’re new to goal setting, set one goal for yourself for the next quarter.  Pick something you know you could do in three months’ time if you just buckled down and got to it.  For example, if you need to lose 50 pounds, maybe in three months you’d like to lose half that.  Write down whatever the goal is on a piece of paper and either look at it every day, or write it out again every day.  I like using a notebook for my major goals. Each day, as you read it aloud or write it down, stop and listen to the voices inside you for their direction.  The assistance you need to achieve your goal is out there, calling out to you, but you have to accept it.  Just be still, and listen for it.  When you get an idea, act on it.

If you’ve been setting goals for a while and have had some success, but know that what I’ve said above is true because you’ve missed deadlines, choose a goal that you have right now or maybe have had in the past.  Set a new deadline and be generous with yourself.  Set a time when you know you could have the goal accomplished if you worked on it every day. (Don’t worry about setting the date too far out.  I’ve done this a lot, and what happens is that I accomplish the goal a lot sooner – that’s a great feeling!) Write out what the goal is, the deadline, why you want it, and maybe even why you want it by that time – if that applies to your situation.  Each day, when you either write out your goal or just read it again, take 1-2 minutes to think about how your life will be different once you’ve accomplished that goal.  Visualize it.  What will be different about you?  How will accomplishing this goal affect the people closest to you?  Then, ask, “What can I do today to get me closer to this goal?”  or “How can I accomplish this?”  Then wait and listen for the answer.  It will come to you.  Your subconscious, intuition, spirit guides, the universe, and God, all work together to help you achieve your dreams.  All you have to do is ask, then act upon the advice they give you.  Most of us are really good at the asking part, it’s the action part where we need help.

Thanks for visiting today; I hope you accomplish all your goals.  I’d love to hear from you.

Posted under Education, Inspiration, Leadership, Motivation, Weight Loss