Some of you are about to experience Déjà vu.
I have received several emails from friends, colleagues, and clients recently who are going through a tough time this summer.
I blame the heat. (92 degrees F right now in Flemingsburg – no wonder we’re all about to go mad!)
I have to admit, I’ve had my bouts of self-doubt the past couple of months as well. Luckily, I’ve learned to ferret out negative emotion and get control of my thoughts quickly. It’s all about developing a habit and being as picky about your thoughts as you would be about your wardrobe.
Right now I’m seeing a pattern with many of you and I figure if it’s going on with this many of my contacts, it’s likely happening to many more of you and you’re just too shy to contact me.
The pattern is this: you’re being too self-critical. Some of you are trying to live up to the expectations of others, whether it’s parents, teachers, friends, co-workers, bosses, spouses, or whoever, and you’ve allowed yourself to believe their evaluation of you, (not good enough), and that belief is cutting you off from your well-being.
Now hear this: There is nothing more detrimental to your ability to live a joyous life, be successful, and accomplish what you know you’re capable of achieving, than a negative attitude toward yourself. So stop it!
I know – easier said than done. Although sometimes just saying, “Stop it,” to myself actually works – if Ireally stop it. I’ll blog about that later.
For today, here’s what I want you to do. I want you to make a list of at least 10 things you like about yourself. I don’t care how small or insignificant you think it might be. When I have my seminar participants do this, I sometimes have to make them put “little” things down. The importance of writing down items you think are too small to mention, is that those thoughts lead to bigger and better thoughts. Here’s an example of how my writing might go in an exercise like this.
10 Things I like about Me: (To prove that it doesn’t have to be a list, I’m going to write this paragraph style.)
I’m gorgeous, I’m smart, and I’m funny. People always like me and I’m easy to get along with. Of course, I’m modest, too! (There are six already!) I always accomplish anything I set my mind to and I have a wonderful husband who supports me in my decisions both emotionally and financially. (Like buying a new MacBook Pro!) I’m a good businesswoman who’s helped a lot of people through my writing, speaking, and consulting. I love my work and the leverage that working for myself gives me.
I could go on, but I think we’re up to twelve now and I want you to start on your own list. Do you have gorgeous eyes? Do people often compliment you on your smile? Do you provide critical assistance to a loved one? Are you good at your job?
Remember, the point here is to focus on your positive aspects; what do you like about yourself? If you’ve been feeling down for a while, try keeping a running list and review it several times a day. Make it a game to see how many you can add in a 24-hour period. When someone pays you a compliment, add it to your list. If someone says, “Nice shoes!” write, “I have great taste in shoes. In fact, my entire wardrobe is enviable. I always look good.” (Can you tell I’m pretty good at this? – oh – there’s another one for me!)
In one seminar, a woman said, “Well, I have this one thing I like about myself, but . . .” I encouraged her to share it and then I embellished what she said with things I imagined would be true for her if she could just see them. I went on, and on, and on, until she finally exclaimed, “Yes, all of that is true about me!” To which I teasingly responded, “Oh, we were talking about you weren’t we?”
We are all so blessed and have so very much to be thankful for – we just need to open our eyes, our minds, and our hearts, and see it. The more positive things you see, the more you will get, so the more you will see, and the more you will get.
Go ahead now – start your list.
Until next time,
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This post was written by Debra Moorhead, Motivation, Education, Inspiration on September 5, 2008