How do you determine which tasks get top priority?  How do you not feel guilty when you say “No” to something or someone?  How do you decide whether to take that new opportunity?  The answers lie in your values.  Once you establish and clearly identify what is most important to you, making decisions you feel good about becomes much easier.

This is a solo activity.  Benjamin Franklin maintained a set of 13 values, 12 of which he had identified for himself, and one that a friend told him he needed.  Toward the end of his life, he admitted that the one that was thrust upon him was the one he lacked the most because he really didn’t give it as much attention as the other twelve.  So make sure that your values are yours; you can’t live your life for someone else. 

Listed below are 100 words that you can use to describe your values.  Look over this list to get you started.  You will probably need to add keywords and a definitive statement to make the value mean something to you.  For example, “Financial Independence; I have multiple streams of income and rely upon no one to support me.” 

Here are three of my values.

1. Success:  Living my dream; Fulfilling my Mission; Being truly, fundamentally happy.
2. Excellence and Education:  I am always improving myself and learning new skills; always creating my best self.
3. Organized and Systematic:  Uncluttered; a place for everything and everything in its place.

How many values should you define?  Whatever feels right for you.  Some people have as few as three, some as many as twenty or more.  I use combinations of words because I feel some values are intricately related with only subtle differences.  I have fifteen now, I started with thirteen six years ago.  My original list has been modified only slightly.

At some point, you will need to prioritize your values.  There will come a time when you must choose between activities that are in line with several of your values. Making such a decision will be easier if you’ve already identified their order of importance to you.  I’ve experienced this many times since defining my values.  Here’s something to think about:  With so many options on how to spend my time, why in the world would I want to spend it on activities that in no way relate to who I am or want to become?

Don’t second-guess yourself.  If a decision you made yesterday is in line with your values, stick with it, move on, and trust yourself.  Will you ever make a wrong decision based on your values?  Sure.  You’ll learn from it.  You will create a better definition of that particular value.  That’s how we become better.

If you have trouble, think of the values your ideal self would personify.  Too often, we get caught up with thoughts like, “Who am I kidding?  I’m not like that.”  Exactly!  If we were all exactly who we wanted to be when we were born, our lives would be completely boring.  Think about it: nothing to strive for, no self-development necessary, no goals to accomplish, and no obstacles to overcome to allow us to feel the joy of conquering something.  You’re not perfect and you never will be – thank goodness!  On the other hand, you are perfect in every way, because you are perfect potential.  You can have, do, or be anything you want.

“A man, as a general rule, owes very little to what he is born with – a man is what he makes of himself.”

-Alexander Graham Bell

What do you want to make of yourself?

Posted under Education, Leadership, Motivation