Debra Moorhead . com

Motivation, Education, Inspiration /// Empowerment for Those Who are Ready

May 5th, 2008

TCB

Whew – what a weekend!  I’ll give you an update in a few minutes, but first, I’m taking care of business.  (That’s on old one, huh?)

 

This Saturday, May 10, 2008, I will be hosting the Carnival of Healing.  If you’ve written a post or an article about holistic health, wellness, spirituality, or self empowerment, and you’re willing to share it, please use the Carnival Submission Form and I’ll check it out.  I include everything that’s positive and helpful.  The current carnival, Facing Adversity with Strength, is at A-Ha! – Daily Blog for A-Ha! TV.com; check it out for some great articles – you’ll be glad you did!

 

As for my weekend experience at SOBCon08, what can I say except that it was a fantastic weekend!  I could inundate you with links to people I met and now absolutely love, but I’ve decided to introduce you to them in more palatable spurts instead. 

 

The highlight for me was getting to finally meet Scot Herrick in person.  Isn’t it wonderful when you meet someone you’ve been corresponding with for a while and discover that they are exactly as you imagined them?  Sincere, honest, and walking his talk – that’s Scot.  If you work in a “cube,” (and if you’re not sure, you don’t), check out Scot’s Cube Rules.

 

I met lots of new people, too.  My table partner was a gentleman by the name of Derek Semmler.  Derek is a sweet, devoted family man, who has a sincere desire to help others:    From helping people get out of debt and achieve financial freedom, to parenting solutions for dads, to helping people make money with their blog, links to all of  Derek’s websites can be found at RedStapleMedia.com

 

Okay, I don’t want to sound like a sales pitch, but trust me, these people are worth your time. 

 

As for what I personally learned:  Enough to start making serious changes to this site, changes you’re going to love!  So stay tuned . . .   (Over 650 of you are regularly tuning in every day – thank you – I deeply appreciate you!)

 

Join me at my Personal Development Retreat on May 30.

 

Get control of your stuff and your life with:

 

Wake Up and Create the Life You Want:  A Guide to Self-Empowerment

 

Eliminate Clutter and Organize Your Life E-book

 

Until next time,

Live joyfully!

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April 25th, 2008

4 Basic Life Skills

As a Life Skills Coach, one of the biggest problems I see with my clients is their self-image or lack of self-esteem.  The problem is more prevalent with women than with men for reasons that I will not get into in this article – most of us know what those reasons are anyway – but it does affect all income and professional levels.

 

Your self-esteem determines your energy level and the vitality of your personality. It is the control valve on your performance and determines your success in life.

 

How you react, both consciously and sub-consciously, to everything that happens to you and around you affects your self-esteem in some way.  Your perception of everything that happens around you either increases your self-esteem or lowers it.  Your response to every word or gesture of other people toward you affects your self-esteem in some way.  Therefore, the development of your self-esteem becomes the key to high performance, happiness, and ultimate success.

 

While many things affect your self-image, one of the most important is the difference between your current self-image, the way you see yourself in the moment, and your ideal self, the way you would ideally like to be.

 

Whenever you feel your current performance and behavior is consistent with the person that you would like to be, your self-esteem goes up.  You feel happier and more exhilarated.  You have more energy and enthusiasm.  You are more positive and personable with others.  You’re in a good mood.

 

On the other hand, when your current performance or behavior is inconsistent with the person you would like to be, your self-esteem goes down.  You feel anxious and unhappy.  You feel self-conscious and embarrassed.  You feel frustrated and angry.  You feel depressed and in a bad mood.

 

So how do you increase your self-esteem and create a self-image that will propel you forward instead of holding you back?  Here are four basic life skills that will help you get on track.

 

  1. Develop a clear picture of the person you want to become.  The greater clarity you have with regard to your ideal self – the person you would most like to be – the easier it is for you to tailor your performance and behavior to be consistent with that kind of person.  Sometimes it is helpful to read about someone whose personality you admire, and try to adapt his or her behaviors.  For example, Shelly Branch and Sue Callaway have written a great book titled, “What Would Jackie Do?”  This book details some of the characteristics of Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy Onassis.  Men will tend to like anything by or about Winston Churchill, like “Never Give In.”

 

  1. Visualize yourself behaving in the manner you desire.  (I’ve written about this before in Use Personas for Greater Success.)  We all have some recurring situation that gets the best of us.  We never know how to react until it’s too late and the opportunity has passed.  However, people with a well-developed self-image rarely have this problem.  They have practiced, (I’m not kidding,) saying or doing that which they desire until the opportunity presented itself to behave in a certain way.  It’s just like an actor preparing his or her lines until the night comes to perform.  Every time you do or say anything that is consistent with the person you want to be, your self-esteem goes up.  When your self-esteem goes up, your self-image begins to change.  You feel positive and powerful.  You feel capable of doing more and better things in that area and in other areas of your life.  You become the person you want to be because you are your self-image!

 

  1. Realize that responding to a situation doesn’t always mean you have to say something.  Remember that how you react, both consciously and sub-consciously, to everything that happens to you and around you affects your self-esteem in some way.  Sometimes, it’s best to just let the other person say what they want, and then silently say to yourself, “That’s not true.  I’m a very smart person.  I’m organized and thorough.  This was just a minor mishap that will never happen again.”  As long as your inner mind can influence your self-image, there is really no need to start confronting every issue.  Choose your battles.  Doing so will give you an amazing sense of control.

 

  1. Engage in positive self-talk.  Start saying nice things to yourself.  In his book, “Million Dollar Habits,” Brian Tracy says one of the ways he increased his self-esteem years ago was by repeating to himself 10 to 50 times a day, “I like myself!”  The powerful message behind this phrase is that even when you mess up, and we all do, you can still like yourself.  Or at least you should, because that what self-esteem is – liking yourself no matter what.

 

We will talk more about how to increase your self-esteem at my Life Skills Retreat; I hope to see you there!

 

In the meantime, here are a couple of tools to help you get on the path to empowerment, peace and happiness:

 

Wake Up and Create the Life You Want:  A Guide to Self-Empowerment

 

Eliminate Clutter and Organize Your Life E-book

 

Until next time,

Live joyfully!

You can subscribe to this blog here.

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April 23rd, 2008

10 Favorite Quotes

I love motivational quotes.  So much so, that I am in the process of instigating a “Quote of the Day” service on this website.  

 

Why do I love quotes so much?  Perhaps because they’re inspired, but also because I love the elegance quotes possess.  A few words that come together in such a way that they motivate, educate, or inspire us to think more effectively, feel more deeply, or act more swiftly.  What could be more elegant than that?

 

Today, I’d thought I’d share with you my favorite 10 quotes.

 

 

  1. “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

  1. “Don’t wait for extraordinary opportunities.  Seize common occasions and make them great.”

Orison Swett Marden

 

  1. “Without leaps of imagination, or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities.  Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.”

Gloria Steinem

 

  1. “Cherish your visions and your dreams, as they are the children of your soul, the blueprints of your ultimate achievements.” 

Napoleon Hill

 

  1. “How you act is who you become.”

Steve Chandler

 

  1. “I will build my castle one brick at a time, for I know that small attempts, repeated, will complete any undertaking.”

Og Mandino

 

  1. “One of the virtues of being very young is that you don’t let the facts get in the way of your imagination.”

Sam Levenson

 

  1. “One’s philosophy is not best expressed in words; it is expressed in the choices one makes. In the long run, we shape our lives and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.”

Eleanor Roosevelt

 

  1. “It’s better to look ahead and prepare than to look back and regret.”

Jackie Joyner-Kersee

 

  1. “High expectations are the key to everything.”

Sam Walton

 

 

We will discuss these quotes at my Life Skills Retreat; I hope to see you there!

 

In the meantime, here are a couple of tools to help you get on the path to empowerment, peace and happiness:

 

Wake Up and Create the Life You Want:  A Guide to Self-Empowerment

 

Eliminate Clutter and Organize Your Life E-book

 

Until next time,

Live joyfully!

You can subscribe to this blog here.

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April 21st, 2008

5 Ways to Develop a Sense of Humor

Laughter and the ability to remain light-hearted have been proven in many studies to be more successful at maintaining a healthy heart than mere diet and exercise.  Why?  Perhaps because maintaining a sense of humor frees us from stress and anxiety.  After all, you can’t be anxious about something and laughing at yourself at the same time. 

 

Here, then, are 5 ways to develop a more light-hearted attitude toward life.

 

  1. Smile.  The physical act of smiling releases endorphins into your body and instantly improves your mood, making it easier to laugh at whatever situation has come along.  Try it.  If you don’t believe me, try this; Smile as big and wide as you can, and try to maintain a negative thought.  I’ll bet you can’t do it!  Go ahead; laugh at how simple this is!

 

  1. Laugh at yourself.  We’re all human.  And so are you!  (Some people need to be reminded of that.)  Taking yourself too seriously puts undue pressure on your subconscious mind and keeps you further from whatever it is you’re trying to accomplish.  I’m guilty of this at times and I suppose everyone is.  Your most important relationship is the one you have with you.  Learn to forgive yourself and laugh at your mistakes, even the clumsiest of them.

 

  1. Practice this mantra:  “This too shall pass.”  Isn’t that true?  You know that you can overcome any adversity.  Consider all the challenges you’ve already faced and have lived to tell about it.  Whatever the situation is, you’ll get past it.  Take a deep breath, say, “this too shall pass,” and face the crisis head-on.

 

  1. Keep busy.  Remember, your thoughts control your feelings.  Og Mandino wrote, “Never will I labor to be happy; rather I will remain too busy to be sad.”  Engage your mind with positive thoughts and when you feel yourself veering to the negative, find something to do. Perhaps this is why gardeners tend to be very happy people; there’s always something to do when you have a garden.

 

  1. Make someone else smile.  The best way to create something for yourself is to give it to someone else first.  Tell a joke to a friend. Tell a stranger she looks nice.   Surprise your spouse with a gift of some sort. 

 

Finally, strengthen your sense of humor by conditioning your mind to look for the bright side of every situation you encounter each day.  Before long, this will be your usual way of thinking, and happiness and success will be just around the corner.

 

We will talk more about the importance of developing a sense of humor at my Life Skills Retreat; I hope to see you there!

 

In the meantime, here are a couple of tools to help you get on the path to lasting peace and happiness:

 

Wake Up and Create the Life You Want:  A Guide to Self-Empowerment

 

Eliminate Clutter and Organize Your Life E-book

 

Until next time,

Live joyfully!

You can subscribe to this blog here.

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April 18th, 2008

Develop Your Speaking Skills

I gave a business communications speech on Wednesday and, as usual, I had several people come up to me afterward to ask how they can develop their speaking skills.  Since I get this question a lot, I decided to go ahead and address it here. 

 

First of all, I’ve been in front of audiences since I was 4 years old, so I’d have to say that the best practice is, well, practice!    A small Toastmasters group would be good for this, as they tend to be very supportive, and with a small group you’ll get to speak more.  But by all means, practice every chance you get.  I had several performance instructors when I was growing up make me stand in front of a mirror and speak to myself.  It’s a wonderful exercise for seeing what your audience sees, reminding you to smile and use your entire body when you talk.  After all, no one wants to listen to a talking head. 

 

Second, know your material.  While an experienced speaker can stand up and talk about anything or nothing for an unlimited amount of time, (trust me, I’ve done it), someone with less experience needs to be comfortable with his or her topic.  Confidence in your knowledge on the subject makes you more comfortable.  The more comfortable you are, the more comfortable your audience will be, and the more they will believe what you’re saying. 

 

Third, know your audience.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to blog about a particular topic but chose not to halfway into development because I realized I would be “preaching to the choir.”  Don’t bore your audience with facts they already know.  And while it’s great to give a speech and have everyone say, “You’re so right about everything; I agree 100%,” it’s better if someone says, “I’d never thought of it that way before.”  See your role as a speaker as someone who entertains, but also enlightens and educates.  I guess that would be my #1 tip.

 

The ability to speak well in front of a group can be critical to your success.  Since this is my first time writing on this topic, I wanted to give you something you could really sink your teeth in to.  I have no products of my own to offer, so I searched my Brian Tracy archives and found this product that I am confident would be of superb benefit to anyone wanting to develop their speaking skills.  Enjoy!

 

 

 Speak to Win

 

I’ll be teaching other personal and business success methods I’ve learned in my Conscious Creation Retreat; I hope to see you there!

 

In the meantime, here are a couple of tools to help you get on the road to success:

 

Wake Up and Create the Life You Want:  A Guide to Self-Empowerment

 

Eliminate Clutter and Organize Your Life E-book

 

Until next time,

Live joyfully!

You can subscribe to this blog here.

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April 16th, 2008

2 Essential Success Traits

I attended a regional dental meeting with my husband a few weeks ago and made some curious observations I’d like to share with you today. 

 

As a Dental Practice Management Consultant, it is important to me to stay on top of the very latest techniques in my field.  Since I was not speaking at this event, but am very well-versed in the topics offered, I attended a few courses with a different objective than usual; pure observer.  I usually sit in the front, eagerly taking in everything the speaker has to say.  Since I’ve heard it all at this point, I chose to sit in the back, and observe the dentists and their teams, in an attempt to see how I might meet the needs of my audiences in the future.  What a different perspective!

 

You see, as you might suspect, I’m one of those people who believes that everything and anything is possible.  I believe that failure is to be expected and is merely a stepping stone to greatness.  I live very little of my life in fear, which tends to terrify my mother.  (How ironic is that?)

 

As I listened to the conversations going on all around me, I discovered that everything I’ve ever learned, and have taught to others myself, about the significance of a positive, can-do attitude, is absolutely TRUE!

 

Isn’t it funny how you can believe in something, but not really know it until you have the proof displayed right in front of your face?  But I guess that what faith is, isn’t it?  However, seeing evidence, first hand, is really an eye opener.  Let me explain.

 

I observed two key characteristics among the successful dentists, versus the ones who are struggling.  The first will not surprise you, it was attitude.  The dentists who were saying positive things about their life, their work, their practices, their teams, and just making positive statements in general, appeared to be happy, calm, at peace, enjoying their journey, and successful.  They eagerly shared their earnings, their goals, and interestingly, their tips and what they’ve learned.  Yes, they even talked about the things that they’d tried that didn’t work for them.  Like certain marketing strategies, consulting companies that made big promises but didn’t deliver, but the wording they used to describe these “negative” experiences was upbeat which reflected the general outlook of the person speaking.  For example, instead of saying, “Oh, stay away from that company.  They are bad news!  They took me for x amount of dollars and when I asked for my money back, they disappeared.”  I heard things more along the lines of, “Well, we tried that approach, but it didn’t work for us.  And I think it was probably because . . .”  The person went on to explain more or less that it was no one’s fault, it just didn’t work.  They learned from it, and moved on.

 

The second significant trait that I noticed among the successful entrepreneurs is that they were willing to invest in themselves and their businesses.  I know a lot of struggling dentists who believe that everything should be handed to them on a silver platter the instant they graduate from dental school.  The successful dentists I know realize that it doesn’t work that way.  You have to continue to educate yourself, upgrade your knowledge beyond what is required, and consistently put a significant amount of your earnings back into your business.  It doesn’t matter how long they’ve been in practice, successful dentists are constantly upgrading their equipment and skills.

 

The third and most shocking observation I made was that many of the participants where not dentists, but dental team employees who had come to the meeting on their own.  Not only were the not being paid to be there, but they had paid for their entire trip themselves. 

 

I had a client tell me not to long ago that she had purchased my collections system with her own money.  In fact, her dentist even told her that my system would not work.  But she believed it would, bought it herself, put it into practice, and was telling me how much success she had had with it.  To be honest, it really upset me at first.  I felt sorry for this woman at having to spend her own money on something her employer should have gladly purchased for her, and then to find out that he had such a negative attitude.  But it didn’t seem to be bothering her, so I didn’t say anything.  Now I realize that she’s one of those people – like me – and many of you – who believes in doing things for themselves.  I can certainly see how many people would think, “But it was his business she was investing in.”  Yes, but she was also investing in herself.  This woman paid $400 so that she could feel better about herself and have more confidence in herself while at work. (Abraham-Hicks fans, think “downstream.”)  She can now take the knowledge, practical experience, and huge success she had implementing that system and market herself very successfully to other dental practices.  Trust me, she’d be snapped up in no time flat.  Think of the leverage that gives her.  When you invest in yourself, even if it seems like it’s in the best interest of your employer, it will also ultimately benefit you.  Investing in yourself always pays huge dividends.

 

In summary, here are two essential traits for success:

 

  1. Believe that anything is possible.
  2. Be willing to invest in yourself and your business, regardless of whether you are the business owner, or “just” an employee. 

 

I guess I’ve really always had faith that a positive attitude was key to success.  I believed all the motivational speakers when they said this was so.  It certainly seems to have worked for me over the past 40 years.  (Yes – I turned the big 4-0 last Friday, April 11, 2008.)  And although I haven’t been too stingy with money, I haven’t invested as much in myself as I should have over the past three years of developing my business.  That’s going to change, starting today.

 

My challenge to you for today is to find a way to invest in your future.  Whether it’s going back to school, taking a continuing education course, or attending a success retreat to help you get it all sorted out, make a decision today and commit to it.  You’ll be glad you did.

 

I’ll be teaching other personal and business success methods I’ve learned in my Conscious Creation Retreat; I hope to see you there!

 

In the meantime, here are a couple of tools to help you get on the road to success:

 

Wake Up and Create the Life You Want:  A Guide to Self-Empowerment

 

Eliminate Clutter and Organize Your Life E-book

 

Until next time,

Live joyfully!

You can subscribe to this blog here.

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April 14th, 2008

How to Develop a Clear Sense of Direction

“A person with a clear purpose will make progress on even the roughest road.  A person with no purpose will make no progress on even the smoothest road.”

–Thomas Carlyle

 

One of the biggest obstacles to creating the life of your dreams is having no sense of purpose.  It’s great to have big dreams, but focus is the modus operandi that will bring them to you.  Let me explain.

 

I’m sure by now we’ve all heard, “You become what you think about most of the time.”  The two factors that determine what happens to you in life are what you think about and how you feel as you’re thinking about it.

 

For example, you’ll often hear someone describe a wealthy person this way:  “He loves money; always chasing the almighty dollar.  Boy, that’s not how I would want to live my life.”  In reality, the person speaking probably does not know the person they’re speaking of at all; however, they’re probably right!  Because in order to make money, you have to focus on it, and love whatever it is you’re doing that’s bringing it to you, and you have to feel good about the money you’re bringing in and accumulating. 

 

Money is always the easiest example to use in this scenario because it’s something nearly everyone can relate to, but any goal is the same way, whether it’s health, relationships, or a simple habit like no longer biting your nails.  Successful people spend the majority of their time thinking about their goals, taking inspired action, and feeling good about it while they’re doing it.  As a result, their goals are consistently moving toward them and they are moving toward their goals. 

 

Now, it’s important here to distinguish what not to do, because I think a lot of people miss this.  To be in the habit of thinking mostly about your goals and what you want to create in your life, means you can’t be chit-chatting with your co-workers about your weekend.  Oh, it’s fine to ask, “Did you have a good weekend?  Great!  So did I!”  But don’t ask that person you know is going to tell you all of the latest problems with her teenage son!  What do you do if you accidentally “step in it?”  I’ve done that before and here is what I learned to do. 

 

“Did you have a good weekend?”

 

“Oh, no.  It was horrible.  First my son and my husband got into it.  I even had to call the—“

 

“Great!  So did I!  Well, off to work!”

 

Developing the discipline to focus on what is important to you will get easier as you practice it more.  Here are 7 ways to get you on that path to a crystal clear sense of direction.

 

  1. Decide what you want in each area of your life – financial, physical, emotional, spiritual, intellectual, and relational.  This process can take a while, and will develop over time.  That’s okay, just start somewhere. 
  2. Write your goals down on paper.  Be as specific as you can with each one.  As you begin to focus on this list daily, you will further define each goal.  But the more specific you can be from the beginning, the closer you are to achieving it.  However, don’t worry about the non-specific desires you have.  Just write them down with the knowledge that you will work on the details later.  Life is more fun with a list of goals to go for.
  3. Set a reasonable deadline for each goal.  The reason this step is important is that on bigger goals, you’ll have to break them down.  A strategic plan is critical to the thought-word-action creative process.  Things will fall into place more easily for you if you give the universe all the details you can. 
  4. Create your strategic plan.  Sure, there are some things you just don’t know yet, so start with the things you do know.  I use Microsoft Excel for this process.  As the project builds, I can add rows and columns as necessary.
  5. Build your plan of