Boost a Child’s Self Esteem

Mommy . . .

Mommy?

Mommy.

Mommy!

Mommmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!

Did you know that when you listen to a child intently it causes his or her self-esteem to go up? When you listen intently to another person and it is clear that you genuinely care about what that other person is saying, his or her feeling of personal value increases. He or she feels more worthwhile and important as a human being. You can actually make your child feel terrific about himself or herself by listening in a warm, genuine, caring way to everything he or she has to say.

As someone who has taught in the public education system, I believe that your undivided attention is the best support you can give your child. Children who are given proper attention and respect at home are better behaved and more likely to excel in school. I’m not saying spoil or needlessly cater to your child; there’s a huge difference between smothering a child with attention and telling them they can do no wrong and modeling the respect you’ll want them to give to others by listening to what they have to say.

When I was teaching, I could always tell the children who were given proper attention at home, and it didn’t matter whether one parent was full-time at home, both parents worked, or a single parent was involved – the difference was whether or not that child felt cared for on a basic level. Listening says you genuinely care.

School started today where I live and either has or will be soon where you are. If you get the chance, either with your own child(ren), a niece or nephew, a friend or neighbor’s child, or this weekend at church, take a few minutes to ask them about their day, and then listen intently. Ask follow-up questions. Sure, his or her attention span will probably lapse before yours, but that’s okay. On the other hand, you might find a child who needs to talk and, if so, just listen. Don’t be patronizing and ask him about his day and then brush him off. Also try to not let distractions interrupt her tale.

Sue Atchley Ebaugh said, “The greatest gift we can give one another is rapt attention to one another’s existence.”

If you have children, spend at least 15 minutes each evening with each child individually to just listen to whatever they have to say. You might be surprised at what you hear!

Until next time,
Live Joyfully!

 

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Get Inspired! What do you want to create? Wake Up and Create the Life You Want: A Guide to Self-Empowerment has helped hundreds of people create the life of their dreams. You can read their stories here. If you choose the downloadable version, it comes with my free report on The Science of Getting Rich.” Get Organized! Learn the secrets of getting and staying motivated and organized with the Eliminate Clutter and Organize Your Life E-book. This inspiring book gives you step-by-step instructions for getting control of every area of your life. Click here for the table of contents and to purchase.

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This post was written by Debra Moorhead, The Decision Diva on August 20, 2008

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You Have to Get Dirty

I spend a lot of time on this site talking about cleaning and de-cluttering; two things I firmly believe in.  But a couple of things happened this week that brought to light an important life lesson and that’s what I want to share with you today.

Earlier this week I drove to a local farmer’s produce stand.  This family has a beautiful garden with fresh corn, tomatoes, carrots, onions, watermelon, cantaloupe, etc.  I was actually able to give up my vegetable garden this year because their produce is so wonderful and very dependable.

Not wanting to use their plastic bags, I took my own regular shopping bags that I’ve been using since going paperless.  (I’m also trying to reduce my use of plastic, as well as just overall what I put into landfills – but that’s another post.)

When I told the woman to just start putting what I was picking out into my bag, she exclaimed, “Oh, don’t get that bag dirty – it’s so pretty and clean!”

I tried to explain that I bought it to be used, that I always take it to the grocery store, and that it can be washed if necessary, but nothing was going to stop her – I came home with 5 plastic bags!  She just could not stand the thought of getting that beautiful bag dirty.

Earlier today, I had to fire someone.  He just wasn’t working out and in the exit interview we discussed how we both went into this knowing it might not work out, but we wanted to give it a try.  We tried.  Things didn’t click.  We bailed.  The employee was really good about it.  It’s the only time I’ve ever gotten to the end of a termination and received a hug!  (Yeah – he was that glad to be let go!)

Both of these experiences have reminded me of a paradigm I’ve held for a long time:  You learn by doing.  You live by getting the bag dirty and enjoying every minute of it.  Children get it – they have the most fun when they’re getting really good and dirty!   We adults need to re-learn that lesson.  Don’t buy something new just to save it for special occasions.  The dust mites don’t deserve it – you do!  Don’t be afraid to try a job you’d like to go after for whatever reason.  Even if things don’t work out you’ll learn some valuable lessons that will propel your life forward.

Sure, you might have some cleaning up to do, in fact, you probably will have a lot of cleaning up to do, but isn’t that what this journey is all about?

So, go ahead – get that bag dirty!

Until next time,

Live Joyfully!

You can subscribe to this blog here.

Get Inspired! What do you want to create? Wake Up and Create the Life You Want: A Guide to Self-Empowerment has helped hundreds of people create the life of their dreams.  You can read their stories here. If you choose the downloadable version, it comes with my free report on The Science of Getting Rich.”

Get Organized! Learn the secrets of getting and staying motivated and organized with the Eliminate Clutter and Organize Your Life E-book.  This inspiring book gives you step-by-step instructions for getting control of every area of your life.  Click here for the table of contents and to purchase.

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Posted under Dental Practice Management, Education, Motivation, Success

Natural Selection or Personal Preference?

Have you ever wondered if you were adopted?  I have!   I am so unlike either of my parents it makes me wonder to this day – was I (adopted)?  I also have very little in common with my brother.

I can sometimes see evidence of a congenital relationship to my grandmothers:  I am sometimes dictatorial like my paternal grandmother and a cleaning fanatic like my maternal grandmother.  Other than that, zip – zilch - nada. 

I saw an ad yesterday for a website that helps you trace your genealogy.  At first I was intrigued, falling for the “find out who you really are,” scheme.  Thankfully I quickly remembered that we determine who we are and what we become through our choices and our decisions.  While we might share traits with our ancestors like red hair and blue eyes, we are always in control of our actions.  (As difficult as that might be sometimes to accept.)

 

Alexander Graham Bell had it figured out a long time ago:

 

“A man, as a general rule, owes very little to what he is born with – a man is what he makes of himself.”

Until next time,

Live Joyfully!

 

You can subscribe to this blog here.

Get Inspired!  What do you want to create? Wake Up and Create the Life You Want: A Guide to Self-Empowerment has helped hundreds of people create the life of their dreams.  You can read their stories here.  If you choose the downloadable version, it comes with my free report on The Science of Getting Rich.”

Get Organized!  Learn the secrets of getting and staying motivated and organized with the Eliminate Clutter and Organize Your Life E-book.  This inspiring book gives you step-by-step instructions for getting control of every area of your life.  Click here for the table of contents and to purchase.

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How to Write Your Own Motivational Phrases

There is a magnet on my refrigerator that reads, “Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels.”  I look at it frequently and laugh.  My mother-in-law was just commenting the other day about how she wishes more people would do like she does and diet “when they need to,” and before it gets out of hand.  When she notices that she’s added a few pounds or her clothing feels tight, she cuts back on her food portions for a few days until she’s back down to the weight she wants.

My husband and I do the same thing.  In fact, this seems to be a common strategy among every thin person I know.  (There you have it; the diet secret over half of America is looking for – here’s another one.)

This morning I looked at that magnet and realized that the same concept could really be applied to nearly any aspect of self-discipline.  Whatever it is you’re trying to accomplish, you’ll probably have to “give up” something else in order to get it.  The longer you’ve been struggling with trying to achieve something, the more likely this is to be true.

For example, if you’ve been trying to become an early riser, but nearly every morning the feel of your bed is just too comfortable to overcome, you might need a phrase such as, “Nothing feels as good as getting an early start to my day.”  Think of all the reasons you want to become an early riser and develop a phrase for each of them.  When you go to bed at night, program your mind to think of one of them as soon as you awaken.  You might find that one of them works better than the others, or perhaps a rotation of all of them provide the jump-start you need to get going.  Before long, likely by 21 days, you’ll be an early riser.

You can do this with any goal.  List all of the reasons that you want something.  List all of the perceived obstacles that are keeping you from it.  Then create a phrase that puts the emphasis on doing the thing you really want to do.  Here’s another one.  I want a spotless, clean, sparkling home.  The only thing that keeps me from it is that I like to have time to sit, relax and read.  I use the excuse that I need that time and that it helps with my writing.  (Which is true, but there’s a balance in there somewhere.)  So a phrase such as, “Nothing is more relaxing than sitting down to read in a clean, spotless, sparkling home.”

The great part about this process is that it’s not just an affirmation – which are great, don’t get me wrong – but a phrase like this, especially if you’ve written it yourself, gets right to your motivation, and your true desire.

I have a client who used the “Nothing tastes as good . . .” phrase to lose weight.  I told her she could use that same concept to achieve all of her goals.  Not believing me, but wanting it to be true, we worked together on one of her other goals, which was to save more money.  She knew she was constantly spending money she didn’t need to, making impulse purchases.  When I asked her why she did that, she responded, “Because it makes me feel rich, I guess – I really don’t know.”

Ah, but that was it.  So I had her try this:  “Nothing feels as rich as having money in the bank.”  She loved it!  Every time she was tempted to spend frivolously, she remembered that phrase.  (We printed a card for her to carry in her wallet, but she never needed it. It is, however, a good idea to put the phrase where you’ll see it at the opportune time.)  The result was a large bank account which she eventually invested and is now on her way to financial independence.

Now it’s your turn.  What’s keeping you from creating the life of your dreams?  Only a phrase, really – just one little motivational phrase.  If you need help, just post a comment below or e-mail me.

Until next time,

Live Joyfully!

You can subscribe to this blog here.

Get Inspired! What do you want to create? Wake Up and Create the Life You Want: A Guide to Self-Empowerment has helped hundreds of people create the life of their dreams.  You can read their stories here. If you choose the downloadable version, it comes with my free report on The Science of Getting Rich.”

Get Organized! Learn the secrets of getting and staying motivated and organized with the Eliminate Clutter and Organize Your Life E-book.  This inspiring book gives you step-by-step instructions for getting control of every area of your life.  Click here for the table of contents and to purchase.

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Posted under Dental Practice Management, Education, Inspiration, Law of Attraction, Leadership, Motivation, Success, Weight Loss

Nutrition in the Workplace

Probably the most commonly overlooked problem in the workplace is nutrition.  In fact, if our public schools were to serve children what many of us eat every day, we’d be screaming, “cruel and unusual punishment!” 

 

If your child showed symptoms of poor concentration, making mistakes out-of-the-ordinary for his/her intellect, and/or moodiness, s/he would surely be examined for some type of disorder.  (And probably put on some kind of medication.)

 

But how often do you make mistakes and then ask yourself, “What was I thinking,” or, “How did that happen; I know better than that?”  If you have difficulty concentrating on the task at hand, make frequent mistakes, or feel, (or have been accused of), being moody, it’s time to take a look at your diet.

 

I used to be one of those people who couldn’t stand the thought of breakfast.  Nowadays, I can’t live without it.  Why?  Because the earlier I eat, the sooner I feel good.  Not only does eating wake me up physically, but it gets me going emotionally and spiritually as well.  You know how hard it is to maintain the proper attitude when you’re physically hurting?  It’s really the same thing.

 

The biggest grievance I see in employee break rooms both in small businesses and corporations alike is the overabundance of products containing high fructose corn syrup (HFCS).  In addition to being blamed for the growing obesity problem in America, HFCS has been linked to diabetes, heart and liver problems, among other physical abnormalities, not so much because of the product itself, (that’s still up in the air), but because sugar, in all forms, robs the body of necessary nutrients that can be difficult to replace, especially if you’re unaware that there’s a problem.  (Until it’s too late.)  But I’m not going to debate the “side effects” of HFCS today – that’s another post!  Let’s just look at the effects of sugar on the body and brain.

 

When you eat something containing a high amount of sugar, your body’s digestive system goes to work, producing glucose that gets deposited into your bloodstream.  When your blood glucose level is increased rapidly, it stimulates your pancreas to secrete insulin in order to counteract and drop your blood sugar levels.  When that happens, you start to feel lethargic, lose ability to concentrate, feel like you’re in a fog, and start craving something sweet again to “keep you going.”  If you’re too busy to eat at that time, you’ll end up feeling depressed or be in a bad mood of some kind.  It’s a vicious cycle, because not concentrating well causes poor performance which leads to mistakes which causes your boss to yell at you making your mood worse, craving more sugar, causing another spike – you get the drift.

 

Various studies over the past 30 years have shown that sugar overloading can even lead to job dissatisfaction, even in offices that are relatively stress-free.  Think about that for a moment!

 

So what do you need to avoid?  Just about everything processed and sweet – your moon pies, jams and jellies, soft drinks, and most of those “health bars” you believe are so good for you.  Especially, don’t make a complete meal on them!!!  My point is this:  Anything can be okay in moderation; it’s overindulgence and addiction that interferes with your concentration, performance, and mood.  A processed oat bar is fine for a snack (although not my first choice) if you know you’re going to be eating in an hour, but it’s not lunch.  You need protein, carbs, and good fat at every meal.  Personally, I still follow the Zone diet as much as possible – not exactly – just closely.  I don’t believe in going overboard on anything.  I just stay balanced, paying attention to how I feel after I eat, and adjust if necessary.  I eat as many whole and raw foods as possible, (very possible during the summer months here in Kentucky), and keep my sugar intake to the old fashioned granulated kind – for my tea – thank you very much!  (If I gain a couple of pounds – it’s the first to go.  I just drink more water until I’m back down to my ideal weight – this trick works so quickly.)

 

I’ve also noticed that a light lunch works best also – perhaps because I’ve had a rather substantial breakfast – but I’m lighter and have more energy when I eat a salad with some leftover grilled chicken on it.  Half a sandwich with some fruit works well also.

 

One of my favorite snacks for the afternoon “pick me up,” is fruit.  It satisfies my craving for sugar if I have one, but it also quenches my thirst.  If I have a strong sugar craving, I realize that that means I had too many carbs for lunch, so I’ll add a handful of nuts to my snack and within a half hour, I’m ready to go again.

 

Be Good to Yourself
Since your diet has such an impact on your level of physical energy, and through it your levels of mental and emotional energy, the more fastidious you are about what you put into your mouth, the better you will feel, the more productive you will be, and the more joyously you can live – and that is so worth the effort!

 

Until next time,

Live Joyfully!

 

You can subscribe to this blog here.

Get Inspired!  What do you want to create? Wake Up and Create the Life You Want: A Guide to Self-Empowerment has helped hundreds of people create the life of their dreams.  You can read their stories here.  If you choose the downloadable version, it comes with my free report on The Science of Getting Rich.”

Get Organized!  Learn the secrets of getting and staying motivated and organized with the Eliminate Clutter and Organize Your Life E-book.  This inspiring book gives you step-by-step instructions for getting control of every area of your life.  Click here for the table of contents and to purchase.

***Please Note:  All transactions are processed through PayPal, but you can use Visa, MC, AMEX, or Discover.

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Relax and Recharge Completely

I have been so busy lately – physically busy.  In addition to my writing, speaking, coaching, and website maintaining, I’ve added for the summer, gardening, landscaping and plant maintenance for both here at home and at the office.   My housekeeper quit on me again, so I’ve been cleaning a 3-story home in addition to additional tasks asked of me from my husband for the new dental office.  This is the most physically exhausting summer I’ve ever had in my life.

 

Our vacation in Montana this year really made me step back and realize that regular relaxation is essential for personal effectiveness.  After returning home, I felt like I got so much more accomplished, and am finally starting to feel back on track.  Even though I was taking mental breaks, I’m not sure – I just honestly can’t remember – if I was getting the proper amount of physical rest given my additional physical workload.  Don’t get me wrong – I truly enjoy everything that I’m doing.  Even cleaning the house is rewarding.  I love organizing it and knowing that it’s clean.  But like anyone with a new job, you have to find your balance, and I’ve had to find my physical balance this summer.

 

Here are six techniques that I’ve found for relaxing physically.

  1. Take Time Off Every Week.  First of all, work only five or six days per week, and rest completely on the seventh day.  Sounds quite religious doesn’t it?  But every single study in this area shows that you will be far more productive in the five or six days that you work if you take one or two days off completely than you ever would be if you worked straight through for seven days.  I have changed my schedule to work physically hard only every other day – kind of like working out, since, for me at least, that’s what it is.  I used to write, speak and coach 5 days per week and then go physically hard on the weekends.  That just doesn’t work anymore.  Three and three with one day off is working so far and I’ve even added 2 clients.
  2. Get Your Mind Busy Elsewhere.  During your time off, do not catch up on reports, organize your desk, prepare proposals, or do anything else that requires mental effort. Don’t clean the house or do laundry.  Simply let your mind and body relax completely.  Sit in the sun for a few minutes, rock on the back porch, lie in a hammock, or pet your cat, but just relax.   Don’t let your mind wander to everything that needs to be done – it’ll just lead your body there, or make you feel guilty.  Try to chill and let your spirit soar.
  3. Take Big Chunks of Down Time.  My regular readers already know that I am a big believer in time-chunking.  While a 15-minute break is great when you’re in the middle of a physical chore and need to re-charge, you also need to chunk your physical/mental breaks.  For example, I’ve found that doing my gardening chores in the morning while writing and working on websites in the afternoon provides a nice balance to the whole mental-physical equation.  Try it – and let me know how it works for you.
  4. Give Your Emotions a Break.  If you are involved in a difficult relationship, or situation at work that is emotionally draining, discipline yourself to take a complete break from it at least one day per week.  (Yes, my coaching clients – I’m talking to you!)  Put the concern out of your mind. Refuse to think about it. Don’t continually discuss it, make telephone calls about it or mull it over in your mind. You cannot perform at your best mentally if you are emotionally preoccupied with a person or situation. You have to give yourself a break.  Even if you just go to a movie that will grab your complete attention for a while, you’ll get some relief, and so will your mind and body.  (Just be sure the movie isn’t going to remind you of your situation.)
  5. Go For a Walk in Nature.  Since a change is as good as a rest, going for a nice long leisurely walk is a wonderful way to relax emotionally and mentally. Making your body “wind down” after going hard is similar to stretching after exercising.  Being amid trees, grass, water, etc. will rejuvenate your spirit as well, and help ground you.
  6. Eat Lighter Foods.  The process of digestion consumes an enormous amount of physical energy. Therefore, if you eat lighter foods, you will feel better and more refreshed afterward. If you eat more fruits, vegetables, and whole-grain products, your digestive system will require far less energy to process them.  I’ve been eating lighter and lighter lunches and feeling better and better.  The more I avoid sugar, the better I feel.  Oh, I could write a series of posts on that one – so stay tuned . . .

Until next time,
Live Joyfully!

 

You can subscribe to this blog here.

Get Inspired!  What do you want to create? Wake Up and Create the Life You Want: A Guide to Self-Empowerment has helped hundreds of people create the life of their dreams.  You can read their stories here.  If you choose the downloadable version, it comes with my free report on The Science of Getting Rich.”

Get Organized!  Learn the secrets of getting and staying motivated and organized with the Eliminate Clutter and Organize Your Life E-book.  This inspiring book gives you step-by-step instructions for getting control of every area of your life.  Click here for the table of contents and to purchase.

***Please Note:  All transactions are processed through PayPal, but you can use Visa, MC, AMEX, or Discover.

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Everything is Relative

I get the best e-mails from y’all.  Last week a new reader e-mailed me to ask if I had ever written anything on how to deal with chronic pain.  I explained that since I only write about what I know, I have not dealt with that subject here.

 

But then I got to thinking about it, you know me – the reflection queen – (who needs a mirror, right?), and I realized that I probably have more in common with chronic pain sufferers than I realized, I just had never thought about it before.  So in the interest of helping someone, here’s another part of my story.

 

I haven’t blogged about these things before, but I was diagnosed with scoliosis when I was 13 years old after nearly collapsing in a department store.  I’ve been in and out of chiropractic treatment for most of my life because of it.  I developed allergies and slight asthma symptoms in my twenties, nothing severe, not even enough to take allergy shots, but my asthma has just gotten bad enough that I now take Singulair daily.  Finally, I was diagnosed with mitral valve prolapse in my early thirties, something I have had all my life, but only found out about due to the development of symptoms for the syndrome

 

So let’s put some perspective on all of this.  On a daily basis, I have trouble eating, walking, breathing, sleeping, standing, sitting, and lying down.  Almost daily, I can count on either a headache from allergies, or a migraine from the MVPS.  At some time during the day, every day, either, and sometimes both, of my sacroiliac joints will give out on me and I have to stop what I’m doing for several minutes or even the rest of the day.  And my back always lets me know when it’s time to take more Tylenol and Aleve.

 

Sometimes when I awake in the morning I literally cannot get out of bed; not because I’m depressed or lazy, but because my blood pressure is too low.  (MVPS)  Chest pains are common, and could be asthma or MVPS.  I could go on and on, but I’m getting tired of thinking about all of this, which brings me around to my point.

 

Here are my options.  I could spend nearly every waking minute of my life in doctors’ offices taking allergy shots, having my heart monitored, getting chiropractic treatments, and on and on.  One problem with all of that is that those treatments all have side effects that are nearly just as bad as the symptoms you start with!

 

Another option, the one I’ve subconsciously chosen, (and now consciously choose) is to live my life, focusing on what I want.  I want to have a beautiful garden.  I want a clean home.  I want a writing, speaking, and coaching career. I want and choose to do a lot of things that I physically probably shouldn’t, but I love doing them. 

 

Now, I know there are many, many people out there who suffer much more than I do and I am not going to belittle anyone or say that you should stop any kind of treatment.  But here’s the thing: everything seems to be relative - especially pain.

 

Several years ago I had the stomach flu.  When I finally made it back to work, (I was working in my husband’s dental office at the time), one of the patients asked why I had been out for a few days.  I told her, and she shared a very poignant story with me.  She said, “Debra, I’m not glad you had that flu, but I have to tell you this.  You know I am a breast cancer survivor.  I’ve been through chemo and I know what that’s like.  A couple of years after I went through the cancer treatment, I had that stomach flu, and I’ll tell you this – I’d rather have the chemo!  I’m not kidding!”  We compared our symptoms and sure enough, they were exactly the same.  She wrapped up saying, “The reason I wanted to tell you that is this:  I hope you never have cancer, but if you do, and you wonder if you can handle it; if you’re asking yourself if can survive the treatments, I’m telling you right now that all you have to do is remember that stomach flu and you’ll know that you can stand chemo!”

 

Now, perhaps Betty’s cancer was discovered early and her treatments weren’t so bad – I don’t know.  Pain is a very relative thing – especially chronic pain

 

I choose to go about my life focusing on what I want.  When I hurt, I do something or take something, or get my mind off of it in whatever way I can.  Shifting my focus to the flower bed or the dirty basement that needs reorganizing, writing a post, or trouble-shooting someone else’s problem, is better relief than any pill has ever provided me.  When that’s not possible, or if it’s the end of the day, I’ll watch something good on television, like comedies or science fiction – something that requires focus - or read a good book.  Your mind really does control everything; to change your experience, change your perspective. 

 

It had never occurred to me until yesterday how often I have to deal with these things, but I’m glad it did – I can now relate to so many more people!

 

If you’re a chronic pain sufferer who’s found a positive way to cope, please share it with the rest of us by adding a comment below.

 

Until next time,

LIVE JOYFULLY!

 

You can subscribe to this blog here.

Get Inspired!  What do you want to create? Wake Up and Create the Life You Want: A Guide to Self-Empowerment has helped hundreds of people create the life of their dreams.  You can read their stories here.  If you choose the downloadable version, it comes with my free report on The Science of Getting Rich.”

Get Organized!  Learn the secrets of getting and staying motivated and organized with the Eliminate Clutter and Organize Your Life E-book.  This inspiring book gives you step-by-step instructions for getting control of every area of your life.  Click here for the table of contents and to purchase.

***Please Note:  All transactions are processed through PayPal, but you can use Visa, MC, AMEX, or Discover.

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This post was written by Debra Moorhead, The Decision Diva on July 23, 2008

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Politics in the Workplace

One of the biggest disappointments I get when I take a consulting job working with an organization is all the political work-arounds I have to deal with.  It just drives me crazy.  I usually get around it by telling myself that I am there short-term, I was hired to do a job, and that I will make a difference in the end.

This past week I observed a situation that, after reflecting on many frustrating incidences in the corporate world, made me realize that there are some ways to rise above all the game-playing and mind-numbing banalities.  Ready?

The truly competent individual can be free of politics in an organization if he or she chooses. When you’re really good at what you do, you can rise above politics, and I’ve noticed that this is what the more successful people within a company have done.  Be careful when engaging in water-cooler talk and “making plays.”  It might be back-firing more than you think.  Brain Tracy says, “It’s the mediocrities at work who have to play games and every study shows that although they sometimes succeed in the short-term, they invariably fail when everyone figures them out.”  Looking back on previous situations I’ve been in, I’ll have to agree.  But then I suppose “studies” prove themselves, don’t they?

So how can you become the competent, mediocre-less, on-the-way-up type that you want to be?  Here are two things you can do to assure that you are in the right position.

  1. Do What You Love To Do
    Select your work carefully and if you don’t love what you’re doing enough to want to be the best at it, get out!  It is rare to be successful at a job you don’t like.  Enjoying your work and being good at it go hand-in-hand.  More importantly, your work should excite you and cause you to jump out of bed in the morning.  If it doesn’t, that’s a tip from your inner being that you’re not on the right path.  Flee from the boring or unsatisfying job as you would from a burning building. Working at something you don’t care about is the very best way to waste your life. Remember, this life is not a rehearsal for something else.  Love it; enjoy it – it’s what you came here to do!  If you need help with finding your passion, try reading How to Decide What to Do with the Rest of Your Life.

  1. Work for the Right Company
    One key to getting onto the fast-track is for you to work for the right company and the right boss. The right company is one that respects its people and practices pay for performance. Our employees are on a bonus system that makes them partners in the practice.  (Not from a liability standpoint, just from a profit-sharing perspective.)  The right company is dynamic, growing, open to new ideas, and full of opportunities for people with ambition and initiative.  If you’re happy with your work, but feel stuck in your career, maybe it’s time to steer or jump overboard.  Listen to that voice that’s telling you to have faith and make a change; never listen to the voice of fear, and don’t make decisions based on fear either.

    If necessary, find a new company, possibly one that is just starting up, that would appreciate your expertise.  Be sure that there are lots of opportunities for you to grow, develop and advance in the company. Your future is too valuable to waste where there is no future for you.

Finally, it doesn’t take long of being in a corporate environment to make me want to throw up!  Personally I prefer having my own business, making my own decisions, and the freedom to turn down business when I feel it is morally more right to do so.  I believe America would be a much better place to work in general if we went back to the small, family-owned businesses of yester-year.  Sure, family-owned businesses have their problems, too, but they are much easier overcome and our values were more in line with the well-being of all back then.  I’ll be blogging about this more in the weeks to come.  For today, your assignment is to think about the business you’re in and make some hard decisions if necessary.  Do you love what you do and for whom you’re doing it?  Or are you struggling to play the game?  If you’re playing politics, you’re missing out on so much bliss!

Until next time,

Live Joyfully!

You can subscribe to this blog here.

Get Inspired! What do you want to create? Wake Up and Create the Life You Want: A Guide to Self-Empowerment has helped hundreds of people create the life of their dreams.  You can read their stories here. If you choose the downloadable version, it comes with my free report on The Science of Getting Rich.”

Get Organized! Learn the secrets of getting and staying motivated and organized with the Eliminate Clutter and Organize Your Life E-book.  This inspiring book gives you step-by-step instructions for getting control of every area of your life.  Click here for the table of contents and to purchase.

***Please Note:  All transactions are processed through PayPal, but you can use Visa, MC, AMEX, or Discover.

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Posted under Dental Practice Management, Education, Inspiration, Law of Attraction, Leadership, Motivation, Success

My #1 Success Tip

When I was a computer instructor, one of my favorite things to do was to give my students lots of “tips and tricks.”  Short, simple techniques that were just “cool,” as we said back in those days.

On this website, a blog post lends itself really well to tips and tricks since the articles need to be relatively short, grab the reader’s attention quickly, and definitely offer something of value.

My favorite post and tip that I’ve given here over the past two years is The Motivational Trick that Works - Every Time.  But today, I want to offer something that I’ve learned from the opening of our new dental office.  The concept is what I call “long-term perspective.”

After more than 50 years of research, Doctor Edward Banfield of Harvard University, concluded that “long-time perspective” is the most accurate single predictor of upward social and economic mobility in America. Having a long-term perspective turns out to be more important than family background, education, race, intelligence, connections or virtually any other single factor in determining one’s success in life or at work.

This certainly seems to be true of my husband.  Building a new dental facility in a small town that both meets the needs of the community and provides the state-of-the-art quality of care that my husband insists on seemed almost impossible to us 8 years ago when we got married.  But we kept our “eyes on the prize,” set our goals, managed intermediate steps, and voila – 8 years later, mission accomplished.  (Now our goal is to make it profitable – which will be a later post!)

Brian Tracy says, “Your attitude toward time, your “time horizon,” has an enormous impact on your behavior and your choices. People who take the long view of their lives and careers always seem to make much better decisions about their time and activities than people who give very little thought to the future.”

If you stop to think about it for a moment, that statement makes sense, but it’s not common sense.  Most people go through their life thinking that they just have to take whatever “life dishes out,” or whatever is “in the cards” for them.  While I’m a huge believer and teacher of “one day at a time,” I also know the value of having an overall strategic plan.  Here are 5 ways to develop a future focus.

  1. Think and Write About Your Future
    Successful people have a clear future orientation, and they have their vision of their future written down where they can review it periodically. They think five, ten and twenty years out into the future and develop a plan of action.  Then, they analyze their choices and behaviors in the present to make sure that they are consistent with the long-term future that they desire.  Thinking about your future is an important first step, but you’ve got to write it down as well, so that you have guidance from day-to-day as to what to do next.

  1. Determine the Consequences
    By definition, something that is important has long-term potential consequences. Something that is unimportant has few or no long-term potential consequences. Before starting on anything, you should always ask yourself, “What are the potential consequences of doing or not doing this task?”  The clearer you are about your future intentions, the greater influence that clarity will have on what you do in the moment. With a clear long-term vision, you are much more capable of evaluating an activity in the present and to assure that it is consistent with where you truly want to end up.

  1. Make Success a Top Priority
    If there is a task or activity with large potential positive consequences, make it a top priority and get started on it immediately. If there is something that can have large potential negative consequences if it is not done quickly and well, that becomes a top priority as well.  Whether it’s going back to school, continuing your education in your current field, learning marketing techniques, whatever your frog is, resolve to gulp it down first thing.  Resolve to do at least one thing every day toward your number one goal.

  1. Stay Motivated
    Motivation requires motive. Whatever your goal is, it must excite you.  The greater the positive potential impact that an action or behavior of yours can have on your life, once you define it clearly, the more motivated you will be to overcome procrastination and get it done quickly.  Thinking continually about the potential consequences of your choices, decisions and behaviors is one of the very best ways to determine you true priorities in your work and personal life.  If something doesn’t excite you, your choice is not motivating you and you need to choose something else.

  1. Visualize It Coming True
    I can’t tell you how many times my husband and I talked and dreamed about what this new dental office would look like.  It really is a dream come true and my husband said just last week, “Even though we’ve been in the new building for several weeks now, it just occurred to me that I’m not going to have to leave at some point.  It’s just now starting to feel like it’s mine.”  Is that a “dream come true” or what?

Your Assignment

Review your list of tasks, activities and projects regularly. Continually ask yourself, “Which one project or activity, if I did it in an excellent and timely fashion, would have the greatest positive impact on my life?”

Whatever it is that can help you the most, set it as a goal, make a plan to achieve it and go to work on your plan immediately. Remember the wonderful words of Goethe, “Just begin and the mind grows heated; continue, and the task will be completed!”

Until next time,

Live Joyfully!

You can subscribe to this blog here.

Get Inspired! What do you want to create? Wake Up and Create the Life You Want: A Guide to Self-Empowerment has helped hundreds of people create the life of their dreams.  You can read their stories here. If you choose the downloadable version, it comes with my free report on The Science of Getting Rich.”

Get Organized! Learn the secrets of getting and staying motivated and organized with the Eliminate Clutter and Organize Your Life E-book.  This inspiring book gives you step-by-step instructions for getting control of every area of your life.  Click here for the table of contents and to purchase.

***Please Note:  All transactions are processed through PayPal, but you can use Visa, MC, AMEX, or Discover.

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Posted under Dental Practice Management, Education, Inspiration, Law of Attraction, Leadership, Motivation, Success, Weight Loss

Off Kilter?

Do you ever feel like there will never be enough time to do everything you want to do?  Well, guess what – you’re right!  We are constantly growing and expanding, which means we’re always wanting more, even if it’s more peace, serenity, time off, etc.  The future is always more and we will always want it.

 

Brian Tracy teaches “The Law of Forced Efficiency,” which says that, “There is never enough time to do everything, but there is always enough time to do the most important thing.”  I recently found this to be absolutely true and that’s what I want to discuss today.

 

Most of you are probably aware that I haven’t been posting as many articles on this site as I had been for the past two years.  You’re also probably aware that my husband and I opened a new dental facility two months ago.  Yes, these two facts are related. 

 

With all of the preparation and planning that I did before the big move, there were things that happened that I just could not have anticipated.  Don’t get me wrong, it was all mostly good stuff, or things that were easy enough to deal with, but everything coming in at once simply took more time than I had allowed.  Combine that with my own business projects and trying to keep up with acquiring new business, and the blog writing just went on the back burner for a few weeks.

 

I felt guilty for a long time, but then decided that I really didn’t owe any explanation to anyone.  However, at the open house for the new office, I told an avid reader that my blog writing was suffering because I’d been so busy with the details of the practice and her response was, “I could tell.”  OUCH!

 

After reflecting on that though, I came to realize that all that simply meant was that I really put a lot of myself “out there” on this website, and that was my original intent; to blog about the trials and tribulations of my life and the lives of my clients (who always remain anonymous) in the hope that it will help others, and it does.

 

So what does a personal strategic planner and time management “guru” do when a major event in her life throws her out of kilter?

 

Drop back and punt.  Take it one step at a time.  Ask, “What is the most valuable use of my time, right now?”

 

The main problem was that no matter how well I planned or how much I worked, the jobs and responsibilities just kept piling up.  (I know what a lot of you are thinking right now – “Welcome to my world.”  I know, I know.)  Add to that the deadline of wanting everything to look perfect for the open house, and what would normally be a task that could be put off suddenly became a top priority – like cleaning all of the scuff marks off the baseboards.

 

The other big issue for me was that normally, even if I’ve had a busy day, I can write a really good post late at night and still meet my personal goal of 3 articles per week.  While there were days when I finally sat down at 9 or 10 PM, I was so much more physically exhausted than a normal work day that I couldn’t even muster the energy to type!  I spent a lot of time on the office landscaping and taking care of it even after the moving and cleaning was over, to the point that my body doesn’t feel that it has returned to “normal” yet – and it sometimes feels like it will never be normal again!  But I do seem physically stronger and I’m sleeping better than ever, so the positive aspects outweigh my whining by far.  But that’s another post!

 

The biggest lesson I learned from all of this was that I can be a highly productive person. Every hour of every day I had to stop and re-prioritize my growing list of tasks.  I found myself constantly asking that question, “What is the best use of my time right now?”  My time management principles were reinforced and I feel stronger mentally than ever before. 

 

I also feel more relaxed every day, which was worth going through this experience.  I had to learn to let some things go, like blog post writing, that I really wanted to do, because other things were more important.  As Goethe said, “The things that matter most must never be at the mercy of the things that matter least.”

 

I tend to make things important that aren’t, which makes me rush around a lot.  This project has helped me realize what is truly important to me, and that it’s okay to let things slide every once in a while.  As much as I love my business and everything I do, my husband comes first.  He is my top priority.  Why? Because he’s a good man who works very hard and he deserves my best.  I knew what I was “getting into” when I married him; I made that choice consciously, and when push comes to shove, like it did this Spring, he will always come first, by my choice.

 

Your Assignment

Take a few seconds at the end of a major project or task each day and sit quietly where you cannot be disturbed. During this time, let your mind relax and just think about your work and activities.  Ask yourself, “What is the best use of my time, right now?”

 

The more you implement this process, the easier it will be for you to set clear priorities, to overcome procrastination and to get started on that one activity that represents the most valuable use of your time.

 

In almost every case, during this time of solitude, even if it’s just a couple of minutes, you will receive wonderful insights and ideas that will save you enormous amounts of time when you apply them back on the job. Often you will experience breakthroughs that will change the direction of your life and work.  When you do, please come back here and share it with the rest of us!

 

Until next time,

Live Joyfully!

 

You can subscribe to this blog here.

Get Inspired!  What do you want to create? Wake Up and Create the Life You Want: A Guide to Self-Empowerment has helped hundreds of people create the life of their dreams.  You can read their stories here.  If you choose the downloadable version, it comes with my free report on The Science of Getting Rich.”

Get Organized!  Learn the secrets of getting and staying motivated and organized with the Eliminate Clutter and Organize Your Life E-book.  This inspiring book gives you step-by-step instructions for getting control of every area of your life.  Click here for the table of contents and to purchase.

***Please Note:  All transactions are processed through PayPal, but you can use Visa, MC, AMEX, or Discover.

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Posted under Education, Inspiration, Law of Attraction, Leadership, Motivation, Success