Did you know that habits are the key to success or failure?  It’s true.  The only difference between a successful person and someone still striving is their habits.  The successful person has picked up on and developed the habits that will allow her to make all the money she wants while maintaining balance between her career, and her home.

While the specific habits vary with each career discipline, I have found that most people know what individual habits would truly help them achieve their dreams.  The problem seems to lie in acquiring the good habits and getting rid of the bad ones. 

Whether it’s smoking, over-eating, sleeping too much, or just something you don’t want to do anymore, a bad habit is quickly and easily overcome if your resolve is strong enough.  Let me give you an example.

When my father found out he was having open-heart surgery and would no longer be able to smoke, he quit.  That was it.  Nothing gradual about it.  It was an emergency situation, not a choice.  He probably had withdrawal symptoms and cravings, but we never knew about them.  His life depended on breaking the habit; so he did.  Years later, he couldn’t believe he ever smoked.

When my ex sister-in-law found out she was expecting a baby, she immediately stopped drinking diet sodas.  She had read that the chemicals could be dangerous to the fetus and even though she had tried many times before to stop drinking sodas, when she thought her baby’s life was at stake, she stopped immediately and says she never missed it.

I know that many of you reading this have probably tried to break habits like smoking, caffeine addiction, and others and know that just making a decision to quit is not enough.  But these two examples, and there are many others like them, prove that it can be done, suddenly, and with no working up to it, if the motivation is strong enough.  However, most of us don’t face a life or death situation when it comes to our bad habits, and try though we might, trying to trick ourselves into thinking it’s life or death probably would not work either.  So how can we develop the habits we want and get rid of the ones we don’t? 

1. Start each day (or each hour) fresh.  Think short-term, not long-term.  Of course, you want this change to be long-term, but what typically happens is that you think, “I’ll never be able to eat a jelly doughnut again!”  Then what happens?  Your entire body starts craving a jelly doughnut.  So instead of, “I’m quitting smoking starting today,” say, “just for today, I’m not going to smoke.”  Take it down to the hour, or perhaps 4 hours – something you know you can manage.  Then, at the end of the hour, four hours, or day, realize that you’re still alive, and promise yourself again that just for the next four hours you’re not going to smoke.  If you break down and simply must have that which you are trying to deny yourself, don’t give up.  Have that cigarette or jelly doughnut and then resolve that for the next four hours, you’ll be good.  Each day, start over.  Each day will get easier and after about 30 days, your brain and body will be revitalized.
2. Repeat positive affirmations to yourself constantly.  Think, or even say aloud, “I am a non-smoker.”  “I eat like 123-pound person.”  “I am an early riser.”  Say these things over and over to yourself constantly throughout the day.  Make sure the statement you’re using is positive and in the affirmative, hence the description, “positive affirmation.”  In other words, don’t use phrases such as, “I am not a smoker, I don’t like cigarettes.”  “I don’t overeat; I don’t like food.”   Pretend that you have already achieved your desired habit and you’re telling someone about it. “I weigh 123.”  “I get up every morning at 6 AM.”
3. Write it down.  While repeating your positive affirmation many times throughout the day is a great way to get started, an even greater reinforcement is to write out your affirmation as many times as you can.  Ideally, you’d write it down three times a day, morning, noon, and night; when you arise, during your lunch hour, and before you go to sleep.  If that’s not possible, try jotting it down while you’re on hold, stuck in traffic, or right before meditating.  Write it as many times as you think of it.  Writing something down requires input from both sides of your brain; it’s a whole-brained activity.  The more you engage your whole brain, the sooner you’ll accomplish your habit, and success.
4. One at a time, please.  Don’t try to change everything about yourself in one fell swoop.  Work on only one major habit, and maybe two more small ones, at most.  Remember that Rome wasn’t built in a day and even God took six days to create our universe.  If you throw too many changes at your subconscious all at once, it will just revolt and do nothing.
5. Revel in pleasure.  When a habit has truly been formed, it becomes a pleasure to perform.  (That’s why the bad ones are hard to break!)  Every time you make progress, take a moment to think about how good it feels to be the new you.  For example, if you’ve made it a day without smoking, think about what a pleasure it is to finally be a non-smoker.  You smell better, food tastes better, etc.  When you sit down to a meal and eat an appropriate amount, enjoy the feeling of not being stuffed, enjoy how good it feels to feel light and energetic.  When you do get up at 6 AM, think about how great it feels to have extra time throughout the day to accomplish your tasks in an easy and relaxed manner, and to get more done without any extra effort.  As you revel in pleasure every time you succeed, you’re programming your mind to want to do that over and over again.  This simple fact explains why people with money tend to make more and more money; people who are successful enjoy more and more success, etc.
6. Negate negative with positive.  Not everyone has the most supportive friends and/or family.  When someone finds out you’re quitting smoking or losing weight and says, “You’ve got to be kidding me. You?”  Just respond with, “Yes, me.  I’m quitting.  I’m living healthfully from now on.”  Every time they say something negative, just come back with something positive.  Keep doing it until they get the hint and shut up.  Of course, you can always say, “Shut up.”  But that leaves your mind on a negative note.  So go ahead and say shut up, but then follow it with a positive affirmation, if only to yourself!
7. Visualize your future self.  Create a crystal clear picture of what you’re going to look like, or what your life will look like once you have acquired this habit.  And I mean crystal clear.  Don’t know what you would look like at your ideal weight because you’ve never been there?  Okay, so what size would you be?  An 8?  Go out and buy a pair of size 8 jeans and hang them on the back of your closet door.  Hold them up to your waste in the mirror every day.  Image yourself putting them on and they fit – comfortably.  Go ahead and buy a pair that you would really wear, after all, you’re going to need them.

You are beautiful and perfect just the way you are.  You’ve just developed a few bad habits that are holding you back from being all you could be.  Get rid of most of those bad habits, replace them with good ones, and then enjoy your success.

Your Assignment

What is the one habit that is holding you back the most?  What one habit would, if you could establish it, propel you further in your career?  Today, create a plan for eliminating the bad and developing the good.

Posted under Leadership, Motivation