Of the three final contestants in last season’s Food Network Star challenge, only the eventual winner, Aaron McCargo, Jr. , made the statement, “I am the next Food Network star,” in his application video. Now, I’ve written and talked about making statements of belief like this, and even at this level, but to see it in action – well – let’s just say, I got chills!

Anything you truly, deeply, with all your heart and soul believe you can have, you can have. It really is as simple as that. Wishing and hoping leave you wishing and hoping. Wanting something, but believing it’s impossible makes it impossible. Dreaming big, planning, taking action, developing self-discipline, all of that is for naught without belief.

How do you know if you really believe in something? You can feel it. Use an “I am” statement and pay close attention to how you feel. “I am the next Food Network star.” [Obviously, implant your own desired belief here.] Now, how do you feel when you say that? Skeptical? Are there any other thoughts that immediately follow it, like, “yeah, right,” implying sarcasm? If so, it’s not a belief yet.

If you’re having trouble getting to that feeling place, as in, you’re not quite sure if you really feel it, here is an exercise that will help.

Consider a subject that you know is absolutely true. For example, my hair is strawberry-blonde. I’m not a blonde, I’m not a redhead, I’m somewhere in-between and several hair dressers have labeled me as “strawberry-blonde,” it makes sense, so I believe it.

When I make the statement, “I am a strawberry-blonde,” it elicits a feeling of, what I call, “matter-of-factness.” This is a good place to start, but this statement/belief doesn’t bring forth a lot of emotion. I mean, being a strawberry-blonde isn’t exactly something I aspired to, it’s really just a trait I was born with. But it is true; at least, I believe it to be true.

So to take this process to the next level, I would think back to something in my past that I went after and achieved. “I won a Juilliard scholarship.” Now we’re getting closer because applying for that scholarship required a lot of work, I was really excited about it, there was fierce competition, and I won. (Even though I chose not to go – but that’s another post!)

You should continue to make statements of beliefs until you feel good enough to move on to your new desire. Make your “I am . . .” statement, and see how that feeling compares to the previous ones.

Do this exercise again and again, until your belief starts to take shape the way you want it. With time and enough self-discipline on your part to perform this exercise as often as necessary, you can change your beliefs, and your outward life experience will change with them.
Try it; you’ll be glad you did!

Until next time,

Live Joyfully!

Posted under Education, Inspiration, Law of Attraction, Leadership, Motivation, Success, Weight Loss

I find that there are three types of worriers in life:

1.    Those who worry about everything and love it.
2.    Those who worry about nothing and love it.
3.    Those who worry sometimes, feel guilty when they do, try to worry less, but need help in getting their mind off of their worries and onto more productive pursuits.

This article is for the last group.

Worry is a wasted emotion that robs your spirit from enjoying the greatness of life.  I’ve noticed that people who fall into this third group bounce back and forth from wellness to illness very quickly:  a cold coming on one day, perfectly fine the next; “I had strep throat over the weekend, but it mysteriously cleared up on it’s own,” etc.  I have no doubt that you’ve noticed these types of patterns in others, or even perhaps yourself from time to time.

It’s important to understand the effect of worry on your body and your psyche.  To put it simply, the effect is negative.  Chronic worriers tend to be chronic sufferers with debilitating physical, emotional, or psychological illnesses, all of which can be avoided by simply letting go of worry.  Today, I want to talk about how to do just that – let go of worry.

First I want you to recognize that while small annoyances and petty complaints might seem minor on the surface, worrying about small things establishes a pattern of needless worry.  This is often how bad habits start, is it not?

Napoleon Hill said,

“Feed your mind on little worries and it will develop quite an appetite for big worries.”

He was right.

So how does one overcome and conquer, once and for all, the problem of worry?

The best method of eliminating worry is to transform that energy into some sort of constructive activity.  By taking action, any action at all – it does not have to be related to the problem - you take control of your mind by making it focus on something constructive.  My top three choices are:

1.    Gardening
2.    Cooking
3.    De-cluttering

But here are some additional suggestions that have worked for me:

1.    Taking a long drive
2.    Going for a long walk
3.    Cleaning the house
4.    Cleaning the car
5.    Filing

There’s something about physical activity that gives the mind a rest – and that’s a very good thing.  Some of my male friends will engage in a “pick-up” basketball game, work on a hobby carpentry project, or do some woodworking.  You know what works for you.

One of the biggest ways to get your mind off of your problems is to help others.  Serving your fellow man in some way often helps put perspective on your troubles, and gives your ego a positive boost in the process.

Whatever you do, keep it simple so that you develop the habit of transforming worry into success.

You’re in good company if you’re in the third group as I’ve outlined above.  People who worry incessantly don’t accomplish much; people who worry about nothing don’t seem to be very successful either.  It is those of us in that third group who turns our adversities into opportunities and is changing the world.  So don’t feel guilty about your worry, transform it into something great – you can do it!

Until next time,
Live Joyfully!

Posted under Motivation

Many historians consider Napoleon Bonaparte to be the greatest military leader who ever lived. Napoleon’s courage was legendary, but it was not vain or impetuous. He didn’t just “luck into” or “stumble upon” greatness, he planned for it.  Let me explain.

Napoleon was famous for his meticulous attention to detail; for taking pains to study and thoroughly understand every military situation he ever faced. He led the French army in hundreds of minor and major engagements and lost only three, the last one being the Battle of Waterloo.

He carefully considered and followed through to its natural conclusion every setback or possibility of defeat he might encounter and then he prepared against it. To be caught unprepared for unexpected setbacks is a mark of weak leadership.  It is not the setback itself that illustrates your weakness to others, but your unpreparedness, or inability to deal with it that does.  Confidence comes from the constructive use of pessimism, thinking about what could go wrong long before it does, and developing a plan of action “just in case.”

The more you know about what you face, the greater your courage and confidence. The more time you take to think through a situation, the more capable you will be of dealing with it when it arises. Napoleon planned for every contingency.

The only real measure of business leadership is results. This requires the ability to act boldly with no guarantees of success. The greatest obstacle to overcome is fear of the unknown.

Most people allow their fears to sit around in their minds, fester, and grow mold.  Failure to deal with these fears in a constructive way causes the creation of the fear itself.

Developing a plan of action, however, whether it’s for a confrontation, or your life in general, will increase your confidence and make you feel better about whatever subject you’re dealing with.  I’ve found that the best antidote to fear is preparedness.

Continue learning and growing – no matter what your field or endeavor, there is always more you could know. The more you know, the more confidence you will have.  The more confidence you have, the better you feel.  The better you feel, the more successful you will be, and the greater you will become.

Spend as much time in the planning process as you need to feel good about the upcoming situation. The more prepared you are, the more confidence you will have.  Personal strategic planning is a great tool to use for your life in general, and project planning can be applied to many subjects, business and personal.  In my experience, there is nothing better than a good plan.

Until next time,
Live Joyfully!

Posted under Education, Leadership, Motivation, Success

I don’t know if it’s due to Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIn, but I’ve had a lot of life coaching inquiries lately and have been doing quite a bit of copying and pasting of the following information. I decided to just write a post – I should have a page devoted to this information, anyway – to answer all of the questions I’ve been getting.

First, my coaching philosophy can best be summed up with an analogy: I’m like an athletic coach, where I attempt to get the best out of you as a player. Not for my sake or even for the sake of the team, but for the sake of the individual – you. If you’re the best you can be, (and yes, you can get there, and a lot sooner than you think), you’re automatically going to be a better “player,” i.e. spouse, partner, parent, employer, co-worker, sibling, caretaker, etc. If each person were living up to his or her unique potential, and living the life of their dreams, feeling fulfilled and blessed in every moment, the universe would be a more harmonious place. We wouldn’t be worried or fearful of things like, who’s going to be elected president . . . (But that’s another post!)

I ask a lot of questions and have you perform a fair amount of writing to get your thinking going in the right direction. It is my goal to make you aware of your connection to your spirit and give you a system that you can come back to, over and over again, on your own, anytime you find yourself “lost,” or “disconnected.” I will help you devise your personal strategic plan, and teach you where to find resources when you need them.

My experience is based on 22+ years of positive thinking, self-esteem, NLP, and extreme empowerment training. I was a systems developer and trainer professionally for 15 years and have been life coaching officially now for 3 years. I’ve been a motivational speaker for as long as I can remember and my personal mission is to motivate, educate, and inspire others to be their best through my writing, speaking, and coaching.

You can get from wherever you are to wherever you want to be; there is no dream too huge. If your spirit has inspired you to want it, you have the wherewithal to get it. You might just need a little motivation, education, or inspiration to put you on the right path.

I offer free 15-minute phone consultations to get us started and make sure we’re a good fit. After that, my current fees, as of September 15, 2008, are as follows:

Email coaching: $75 per topic. Ask as many questions as you want, I’ll answer them within 48 hours. Follow-up questions are free, as long as you don’t take advantage by trying to change the topic, etc. I define a topic as a major-life area, such as: career; weight-loss/physical appearance; relationships; home/housekeeping; positive thinking/thought control; spirituality; leadership; time management.

Phone coaching: Ask anything you want; go in as many different directions as you choose, for $75 for a 30-minute session, $150 for one hour. Here, the sky is the limit and while I will likely give you writing “assignments,” we will not spend more than 5 minutes of airtime doing anything that you can do “off the clock.” One hour with me will give you at least one month’s worth of work to do – are you ready for it?

If so,

through PayPal and let me know what type of session you’re paying for. I’ll contact you as soon as I receive the notice to schedule a time for our call, or let you know where to send your e-mail.

Please feel free to e-mail me at Debra_M@alltel.net with further questions about any of my services, or to schedule your free 15-minute trial.

Until next time,
Live Joyfully!

Posted under Motivation

While there are many ways to motivate yourself to get your rear in gear, I find that few are as powerful as momentum.  Will power and self-discipline are great – I have both – but life is so much more fun when you’re enjoying your work.

Personally, I don’t do anything until I’m “in the mood” to do it.  Why?  I’ve learned that the task will go much quicker when I have that driving force of enthusiasm behind me.   Not only that, but I accomplish much more than what I had originally planned due to inspired thoughts.

But how do you get there?  And if making yourself do something is counter-productive, how do you force a natural drive toward something?

Answer:  Momentum.

The trick I use to gain momentum toward any subject is to first start with a task that is easy to think about or accomplish.  For example, when I need to clean the house but don’t really feel (physically) like doing so, instead of forcing myself and going through the motions with resentment in my attitude, I first go for a vigorous walk.  I have a beautiful neighborhood in which to trek and I can quickly identify many positive aspects about it.

That gets my juices flowing pretty good, so I then think of all the reasons why I want to clean the house.  (I enjoy a dust-free, sparkling home, the work itself is not difficult, I often get great ideas while working, etc.)  Before long, I’m convinced to cut my walk short because, after all, I’ll be getting a workout by cleaning the house, which I now feel motivated to do.

Momentum is powerful.  Find it anywhere you can, and it will transition over.  Trust me.  Now try it for yourself, and let me know how it goes!

Until next time,

Live Joyfully!

Posted under Motivation

My husband and I had a wonderful outing on Sunday.  After spending nearly all day Saturday rebuilding a Windows Vista® computer, B.J. was feeling rather lethargic with a bad case of “cabin fever.”  So Sunday morning we decided to go for a hike.  With a dinner obligation that evening, we opted to stay close by and drove to Red River Gorge.  (The Gorge is one of the nicest landscapes in our area and has some of the best hiking and rock climbing in the country.)

We decided to go back to a trail we had not trekked for a while, and discovered something new, True North Outfitters.  It’s a bistro, a gear shop with a guide service, and an international hostel.  Obviously, we were impressed enough that I wanted to tell the world about it.  We noticed it on our way to the trail, had a wonderful one hour and five minute hike, and decided to try the bistro for lunch.

The very friendly Susan Byer greeted us as soon as we walked in:  “Are you looking for lunch?”

The atmosphere was welcoming and relaxed; the tables and amenities very clean.  The food was deliciously fresh and I could hardly believe my eyes when my husband tried, and liked, the cornbread salad.

True North Outfitters provides a variety of services for Gorge visitors, including trip planning. If you’re looking for something new or different to do this fall, I can’t imagine a more beautiful setting in October, (when the leaves are turning brilliant shades of red, orange and yellow), than the multiple vistas from Auxier Ridge Trail.

Until next time,
Live Joyfully!

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Get Inspired! What do you want to create? Wake Up and Create the Life You Want: A Guide to Self-Empowerment has helped hundreds of people create the life of their dreams. You can read their stories here. If you choose the downloadable version, it comes with my free report on “The Science of Getting Rich.” Get Organized! Learn the secrets of getting and staying motivated and organized with the Eliminate Clutter and Organize Your Life E-book. This inspiring book gives you step-by-step instructions for getting control of every area of your life. Click here for the table of contents and to purchase.

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Posted under Inspiration

As summer comes to a close, (only a couple of weekends left), I’m going through my recipe book to make sure I’ve enjoyed all of my summertime-only favorites.  My husband drinks lemonade year-round, but it’s a prepared brand that I mix with Stevia to avoid acidity as well as sugar spikes.  But on a hot summer day, there’s nothing like the real thing.  

I like this recipe because it’s easy to remember and it comes out perfect every time.  All you have to do is remember the ratio 1:1:5.  That’s 1 part freshly squeezed lemon juice, (from actual lemons, not a bottle), 1 part sugar, (I use the real stuff here as well), and 5 parts water.

Hope you try it, and enjoy!

Posted under Uncategorized

Some of you are about to experience Déjà vu.

Posted under Inspiration, Law of Attraction, Leadership, Motivation, Success

I have received several emails from friends, colleagues, and clients recently who are going through a tough time this summer.  

I blame the heat.  (92 degrees F right now in Flemingsburg – no wonder we’re all about to go mad!)

I have to admit, I’ve had my bouts of self-doubt the past couple of months as well.   Luckily, I’ve learned to ferret out negative emotion and get control of my thoughts quickly.  It’s all about developing a habit and being as picky about your thoughts as you would be about your wardrobe.

Right now I’m seeing a pattern with many of you and I figure if it’s going on with this many of my contacts, it’s likely happening to many more of you and you’re just too shy to contact me. 

The pattern is this:  you’re being too self-critical.  Some of you are trying to live up to the expectations of others, whether it’s parents, teachers, friends, co-workers, bosses, spouses, or whoever, and you’ve allowed yourself to believe their evaluation of you, (not good enough), and that belief is cutting you off from your well-being. 

Now hear this:  There is nothing more detrimental to your ability to live a joyous life, be successful, and accomplish what you know you’re capable of achieving, than a negative attitude toward yourself.  So stop it!

I know – easier said than done.  Although sometimes just saying, “Stop it,” to myself actually works – if I really stop it.  I’ll blog about that later.

For today, here’s what I want you to do.  I want you to make a list of at least 10 things you like about yourself.  I don’t care how small or insignificant you think it might be.  When I have my seminar participants do this, I sometimes have to make them put “little” things down.  The importance of writing down items you think are too small to mention, is that those thoughts lead to bigger and better thoughts.  Here’s an example of how my writing might go in an exercise like this.

10 Things I like about Me:  (To prove that it doesn’t have to be a list, I’m going to write this paragraph style.)

I’m gorgeous, I’m smart, and I’m funny.  People always like me and I’m easy to get along with.  Of course, I’m modest, too!  (There are six already!)  I always accomplish anything I set my mind to and I have a wonderful husband who supports me in my decisions both emotionally and financially.  (Like buying a new MacBook Pro!)  I’m a good businesswoman who’s helped a lot of people through my writing, speaking, and consulting.  I love my work and the leverage that working for myself gives me. 

I could go on, but I think we’re up to twelve now and I want you to start on your own list.  Do you have gorgeous eyes?  Do people often compliment you on your smile?  Do you provide critical assistance to a loved one?  Are you good at your job? 

Remember, the point here is to focus on your positive aspects; what do you like about yourself?  If you’ve been feeling down for a while, try keeping a running list and review it several times a day.  Make it a game to see how many you can add in a 24-hour period.  When someone pays you a compliment, add it to your list.  If someone says, “Nice shoes!” write, “I have great taste in shoes.  In fact, my entire wardrobe is enviable.  I always look good.”  (Can you tell I’m pretty good at this? – oh – there’s another one for me!)

In one seminar, a woman said, “Well, I have this one thing I like about myself, but . . .”  I encouraged her to share it and then I embellished what she said with things I imagined would be true for her if she could just see them.  I went on, and on, and on, until she finally exclaimed, “Yes, all of that is true about me!”  To which I teasingly responded, “Oh, we were talking about you weren’t we?”

We are all so blessed and have so very much to be thankful for – we just need to open our eyes, our minds, and our hearts, and see it.  The more positive things you see, the more you will get, so the more you will see, and the more you will get.

Go ahead now – start your list.

Until next time,

Live Joyfully!

Posted under Law of Attraction, Motivation, Success, Weight Loss

We sit around and talk and laugh about it a lot, but it’s one of the greatest obstacles to our careers, and in our lives – indecisiveness.  And ladies, you have to admit it, we are worse than men.  (Of course, there are always exceptions.)

Have you ever noticed that successful people don’t seem to have much trouble making decisions?  And we say, “well, of course not, they’re successful – it’s easy to make decisions when you’re already a success.”  Truthfully, it’s easy to make decisions anyway, and doing so will make you successful. 

Why do we (especially women) have such a hard time with this?  I was recently discussing this topic with some of my gal pals and we decided that it goes back to what we observed our mothers doing when we were young.  Our mothers didn’t make many decisions - especially financial decisions.  Even if our mothers worked, big-ticket items were always controlled by “Dad.”  In our household, my mother would sit and worry over the details of the purchase, while my father made it quite simple – we would buy the cheapest thing available!  (Quality sometimes won out, but not often.)

The other issue is that we’ve all been impulsive at some point and had it “back-fire” on us.  Buyer’s remorse is never a good feeling.  We don’t want to experience it any more often than necessary and we’d like to be able to blame someone else when we do face it again.  I can remember accusing Consumer Reports of poor research a couple of times!

If you’ve ever had a life-transforming experience, then you know that every positive change in your life begins with a clear, explicit decision that you are going to either do something or stop doing something. Significant change starts when you decide to either get in or get out, whether it’s life, work, or a relationship, it all starts with the decision, and ends with action.

Your assignment for today is to start making decisions quickly, and feel good about them.  Start small and work your way up to more important things.  I’ve witnessed women having trouble deciding whether or not to buy a pack of gum at the grocery, and then have trouble deciding which flavor!  But them all!  Or decide to stick to your budget and buy none.  Just make a decision and act on it.  By practicing on the smaller efforts, you’ll be prepared and rehearsed for more important conclusions.

Until next time,

Live Joyfully!

You can subscribe to this blog here.

Get Inspired! What do you want to create? Wake Up and Create the Life You Want: A Guide to Self-Empowerment has helped hundreds of people create the life of their dreams. You can read their stories here. If you choose the downloadable version, it comes with my free report on “The Science of Getting Rich.” Get Organized! Learn the secrets of getting and staying motivated and organized with the Eliminate Clutter and Organize Your Life E-book. This inspiring book gives you step-by-step instructions for getting control of every area of your life. Click here for the table of contents and to purchase.

***Please Note: All transactions are processed through PayPal, but you can use Visa, MC, AMEX, or Discover.

Posted under Inspiration, Leadership, Motivation, Success, Weight Loss