We’ve all been there; you know you need to think positively in order to achieve your dreams; you want to be in a good mood; you don’t want to be depressed, blah, or a downer to others, but for whatever reason you just can’t shake the negative thoughts that keep running through your mind.  They don’t even make sense – you’re daydreaming about things that likely will never happen.  You’re good at catching yourself, you even think, “Why would I want to create that – stop it!”  But the negative thoughts keep coming.

Can you relate?

I can.

Everyone goes through those spells from time to time. Maybe it’s a temporary chemical imbalance, not enough exposure to sunshine, or something else entirely and something we have no awareness of, but whatever the cause, I have a few solutions for you.

I recently went through a spell like this over the weekend.  It was one of those situations where your husband suspects he did something wrong, but has no idea what.  Then when he asks, “Have I done something wrong,” you want to respond with, “No!  Oh my God!  Does everything have to be about you?  Can’t I just be in a bad mood without it having anything to do with you?  Good grief, grow up already!”

Luckily, when he asked me this weekend, I was able to control my reaction and reassured him, kindly and gently, that I was simply in a bad mood, he did nothing wrong, and then I confessed that I really didn’t know what was wrong with me. 

I’m sure you’ve been there.  You have nothing to complain about, nothing’s wrong, but things just don’t feel right either.

At first I blamed it on our weather, but truthfully, that didn’t make sense because usually when it rains, I write really well.  On the other hand, we did get ice, not snow, not rain, ice, so maybe that was the difference.  I also had a severe sinus headache that no amount of over-the-counter medication would knock out.  Whatever it was, I had no control over it, but I know that I have control over my thoughts and was determined to turn my mood around.  Here’s what I did and suggest that you try the next time you find yourself with persistent negative thoughts.

1. Watch a good movie.  I mean, a good movie.  Something that will capture and keep your attention.  This serves as a distraction and as long as your thoughts are not negative, you’re on the right path.  However, if the movie is bad and you’re sitting there thinking, “Oh, this is so predictable.  I’m so old.  I’ve seen every movie ever made.  Is this how the rest of my life is going to be . . .”  - you need to choose a different movie.  Comedies are usually good since anything that makes you laugh should put you in a good mood, but again, it can’t be too lame.  I saw Fool’s Gold  this weekend and it was the perfect distraction, despite the not-so-great reviews.  The tropical setting of the movie was a much welcomed relief from the snow and ice we’d been having and I didn’t find the plot predictable at all.  I came out of the movie feeling much better than when I went in so, mission accomplished! 

    

2. Engage in physical tasks.  Now, it can’t be just any physical tasks, everyday chores might put you in an even worse mood.  Try tackling a project that will require a new set of skills or brainpower.  I installed new window fixtures and curtains in my home office.  That’s normally something we pay someone else to do, but I thought I’d give a try and lo and behold, it worked!  It provided a nice distraction, got my mind off my headache, and made me feel like I’d conquered a new domain. 

    

3. Daydream.  What I’m talking about here is actually practicing, like an art, daydreaming from a positive perspective.  Use your imagination to visualize something great happening to you.  Maybe your biggest dream is coming true, or you’re winning the lottery.  Pick anything but try to make this exercise run for about 15 minutes.  I utilized this technique as I was falling asleep one night and it helped tremendously both with falling asleep, and my thoughts and feelings the next day.  I’ve added this practice to my morning ritual; it serves as a protective covering, like a sealant on a tooth if you will, for my thoughts, and sets the tone for my day.

There is great power in thinking and feeling positively on a regular basis.  Don’t underestimate it, and don’t let a nagging headache, the weather, or general malaise get control over you.

Until next time,

Live Joyfully!

Today I have some additional pearls for your consumption:

Wendy Wallace at DesireToGrow.com interviewed me a couple of weeks ago for her online course.  She has graciously allowed me to post the audio for my readers, so if you’re interested, you can download it here.  I highly recommend Wendy’s program; I believe everyone would learn a lot from it, and there’s a money-back guarantee so you risk nothing but have everything to gain. 

Jennifer Kumar at  AlaiVani.com interviewed me last week for her “Website Wednesday” regular post.  Jennifer has become one of my favorite bloggers with great content and insights.  You can read the results of that interview here.  Thanks, Jennifer!

Finally, a reader inspired by my post, How I Lost 25 Pounds in One Month, wanted to share with all of you the Excel spreadsheet she created to monitor her caloric intake.  Click here to download Monica’s 30-Day Food Diary.  What a great tool - thanks, Monica!

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CREATE THE LIFE YOU WANT NOW When you’re ready to take control of your life, you’ll want to purchase my latest book to get started on the right path. You’ll learn my latest success tips and how I’ve applied 20 years of solid business principles and the Law of Attraction to acquiring the life of my dreams. Wake Up and Create the Life You Want: A Guide to Self-Empowerment is helping many others do exactly the same.  You can read their stories here.  If you choose the downloadable version, it comes with my free report on “The Science of Getting Rich.” Don’t miss out on this very special offer!

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Posted under Inspiration, Law of Attraction, Leadership, Motivation, Success, Weight Loss

Have you ever had a recurring dream?  Whether it’s at night while sleeping or a re-visited daydream before your mid-afternoon break, what you’re dreaming about is a clue from your soul, spirit, or higher self.  The good news is, it’s a two-way street; not only does your spirit talk to you through dreams, you can use your imagination to communicate with your higher self.  Let me explain.

Since your thoughts create your reality, you can create the life you want by learning to  control your thinking.  I’ll be blogging more about this later, but Karen Lynch has a great article over at LiveThePower.com  - check out As You Wish . . . Create Your Life.

Once you get a handle on thinking positively, you can create an even better life for yourself by learning to think in bigger and unlimited ways.  I’m sure you’ve heard of “thinking big.”  The power of this concept lies in the fact that unlimited thinking increases your creativity, expands your possibilities, and draws greater opportunities to you.  Visualizing limitlessly allows you to experience the feelings you will have once you have obtained your desire, and those feelings are the vehicle that bring your desire to you.  Why?  Because by thinking and feeling positively about something, you’re communicating with your higher self in a way that it can vibrate your desire into the universe and generate cooperation from Source energy.

Unlimited thinking helps you get in touch with the larger picture of your life and links you to the greater vision of your higher self; it helps you fulfill your potential.  In fact, every time you think of the future you are creating a possible direction.  Therefore, your dreams and fantasies are showing you your potential.  Everything you dream about is possible for you, or you wouldn’t be able to dream about it in the first place.  Isn’t that fantastic!  If you can get that, and I mean really get it, you’ll never think small or in a limited fashion ever again.

If you’re goal is to make $100,000 a year, imagine what it would feel like to make $1,000,000.  Okay, maybe you don’t want that – that’s okay.  What would be “over-the-top” in a glorious way for you?

Here’s a fun exercise and my challenge to you for today:  Imagine that it is one year from now and you are reflecting on all your accomplishments.  What are they?  How does it feel?  Think of many things – create a list.

Your imagination is your closest link to your soul for like the spirit, your imagination can travel into any dimension or world.  It can create unlimited future paths and help you perceive all possible outcomes and evaluate choices.  Dreams represent potential because the soul is capable of anything.

Until next time,

Live Joyfully!

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CREATE THE LIFE YOU WANT NOW When you’re ready to take control of your life, you’ll want to purchase my latest book to get started on the right path. You’ll learn my latest success tips and how I’ve applied 20 years of solid business principles and the Law of Attraction to acquiring the life of my dreams. Wake Up and Create the Life You Want: A Guide to Self-Empowerment is helping many others do exactly the same.  You can read their stories here.  If you choose the downloadable version, it comes with my free report on “The Science of Getting Rich.” Don’t miss out on this very special offer!

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Posted under Inspiration, Law of Attraction, Leadership, Motivation, Success, Weight Loss

Today I want to share with you some wardrobe-building concepts that have served me well for many years:  I don’t ever recall saying, “I have nothing to wear.”  I’m often told, “You look like you just stepped out of a magazine.”  I was voted “Best Dressed” in high school and college, and I’m frequently sought out for wardrobe advice.

I am not a fashion diva; I do not wear designer couture.  I am a business woman and would describe my everyday style as mostly business-casual, although I do have a sufficient number of outfits to go up and down the scale, from a formal evening to gardening.  I mostly wear pantsuits when I’m out, and slacks and sweaters when I’m at home.  For the most part, I think I’m just like everyone else – all of you – but with a little twist that makes me unique.  (You have it, too, you might just need to call it out.)

My overall philosophy is, Look Your Best Every Day, so even if I’m only going to be at home, by myself, writing all day, I don’t stay in my pajamas.  I’ve tried it, since so many people tout that it’s the grandest feeling the world, but I disagreed.  I just couldn’t get my energy level high enough.  Pajamas are for sleeping and relaxing; not working.  Friends who swear by it will admit, when pressed, to feeling draggy all day when they stay in their night clothing or even sweats. 

In a nutshell, I have gardening clothes for gardening, exercise clothes for exercising, upscale suits and pantsuits for speaking and leading seminars, formal attire for the proper occasions, and comfortable, sometimes “fun” clothes for working at home – writing, cooking, and doing housework.

My accessories are simple and classic such as:  Black Mary-Jane pumps – 2 pairs of the same style to be able to alternate, a black crocodile Brahmin purse that I will carry for at least 2 years without changing, one each of silver, gold, and pearl necklaces with earrings to match.  (Okay, I have more jewelry than that, but this is what I pull from on a regular basis.)

Here are the concepts that I find myself repeating to friends and family who ask for my help, whether they need help de-cluttering their closet, or putting together the perfect wardrobe. 

1. Loosen up the purse strings.  I’ve had to work with my mother on this for several years and she has finally come around, although she does relapse every now and again.  Here’s the scoop:  She had no problem buying clothes, as long as they were at 1950s prices!  Every year the cost of quality items go up just a little and if you’re on a diet for very long where you don’t want to buy something new until you are at your ideal weight, or if you bought a new wardrobe of quality clothing that lasts for several seasons, or you have a baby, or you just don’t buy clothing very often, you might find that the next time you go shopping you end up with a lot of sticker shock.  To get over this, go to a mall and start looking at the price tags in several different upscale stores.  Just go and look for a couple of hours before you buy anything.  Doing this will help you get used to the new pricing strategies.  If you want your hometown mall prices to look really good, visit Rodeo Drive!  Cheap outfits have never looked good on me and I’ve found that those garments just don’t hold up as well either.  The better bargain is to spend a little extra for quality that will last much longer.

2. Don’t say, “I’ll never have anywhere to wear this.”  What – so you can tell the future?  Well, aren’t you special!  A true psychic would never make a prediction like that!  This is the reason that when that special event comes up, you say, “I have nothing to wear.”  How many times have you needed to find an outfit for a special occasion, went shopping, but there was nothing, and I mean nothing, in any store, in any mall within driving distance, that even fit you, let alone that you liked!  Right there is reason enough to buy it when you find it.  Listen to that still, small, voice.  If you’re being pulled to an item or outfit you just love, go for it!  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thought I would never use something or couldn’t figure out how it would fit into my lifestyle when, after trusting my instinct, I immediately found a use for it.  Maybe an occasion suddenly came up or I decided to dress a little differently on vacation.  We are drawn to certain items because of the energy they have that, for whatever reason, syncs with ours.  Trust it, and go for it.  You’ll be glad you did.

3. On the flip side of that, I always say, “When in doubt, don’t.”  So I don’t buy it if I don’t love it.  There’s a difference between loving something and holding yourself back by saying, “I’ll never have anywhere to wear it,” and knowing in your gut that you’ll never wear it because you don’t really like it.  On a similar note, as I’m getting older, I’m finding that there are certain styles that, while I like them on younger women, I just wouldn’t be comfortable in them.  There are few things more hideous than a 40-year-old trying to look like she’s 20!  I’ve always thought it made the woman look even older.  Also, don’t dress like a 60-year old if you’re 40.  Being truly comfortable in your own skin means you’ll act and dress your age, and be proud of whatever that is!  You’re awesome and you know it – there’s no need to prove anything to anyone.

4. Buy the complete outfit.  Think head to toe.  Shoes, purse, accessories, jewelry, hosiery, underwear.  Since most of the items in my closet coordinate with black, if I fall in love with an outfit that will require brown accessories, I’ll have to purchase them and I’ll do that immediately if possible.  If I can’t find one particular item, say, the shoes to make the outfit, I’ll make sure it goes on my shopping list.  That way, I’m “on the lookout” everywhere I go.  I have made the mistake of forgetting something like that and ended up not being able to wear the outfit – ever – because I didn’t have the right shoes.  (Don’t worry, it only happened once!)  Also don’t make the mistake of thinking, “Well, I’ll buy the pants and the jacket, but I already have a blouse just like that at home.”  You probably don’t.  We don’t remember colors that well and if you’ve had the blouse for a while, the style probably won’t match your new outfit.  Also, if you stay within the same style of dress, you’ll need both blouses anyway because you’ll wear them both between laundry days.  Don’t be afraid to have more than one of something you love.  (Except spouses – but that’s another post!)

    

5. Wear your correct size.  You might think this goes without saying and we’ve all witnessed women in clothing too tight, and occasionally too loose, but I wanted to bring this up because it was a problem for me a little while back.  When I was in orthodontic treatment, I got down to a size 0.  It’s an extremely difficult size to find and I had a closet full of size 4’s, with a few 2’s.  Out of pure necessity, I was wearing clothing a little too loose, but I knew it was a temporary situation so I didn’t want to purchase too many items in that size because I didn’t want to stay that size.  One problem I had to overcome once I started gaining weight, was that I was so used to my outfits fitting loosely, that sometimes the item would fit, but I thought it was too tight – my reference point had changed.  As I started to move back into 4’s from 2’s, I would catch myself wearing the 2’s because I liked them, even though they were too tight.  Then, I started to wonder if I should lose weight to stay in the 2’s!  Don’t worry – I’m back in 4’s with a few 6’s, and that’s the healthy way I plan to stay.  But it took me a while and I wanted to share that to let you know it can happen to anyone – even us skinny-minnies!

6. Let go.  Let go of anything stained, whether it’s from food or armpits, anything that doesn’t fit, whether it’s too large or too small, and please, for pity’s sake, let go of anything you just don’t like, whether you hated to begin with and so have never worn it, or you’ve just grown tired of it.  Move on.  If the item is in good shape, donate it. 

When it comes to organization, I suggest going through your closet, piece by piece, and eliminate anything that doesn’t thrill you.  Please note – they should thrill you.  If you have a favorite pair of sweats that you only wear when you’re sick, but you love to wear them then and they somehow make you feel better, keep ‘em!  Don’t trade your values for mine.  My purpose for writing this is to help you identify and live closer to your values.  So when I say, “eliminate anything that doesn’t thrill you.” I mean you. 

I’m always flattered when asked for advice and love to help when I can, but you have your own style – wear it!

Until next time,

Live Joyfully!

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CREATE THE LIFE YOU WANT NOW When you’re ready to take control of your life, you’ll want to purchase my latest book to get started on the right path. You’ll learn my latest success tips and how I’ve applied 20 years of solid business principles and the Law of Attraction to acquiring the life of my dreams. Wake Up and Create the Life You Want: A Guide to Self-Empowerment is helping many others do exactly the same.  You can read their stories here.  If you choose the downloadable version, it comes with my free report on “The Science of Getting Rich.” Don’t miss out on this very special offer!

***Please Note:  All transactions are processed through PayPal, but you can use Visa, MC, AMEX, or Discover.

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Posted under Law of Attraction, Motivation, Success

Self-discipline has been a topic of great interest to me for as long as I can remember.  Recently while reminiscing with a high-school classmate she made the observation, “Debra, you were always so much more mature than the rest of us!”  I never saw myself that way back then, but looking back, I suppose it was that strive toward order and control that sometimes drove my friends nuts!

That’s not to say that I haven’t matured since high school – I certainly hope I have!  But self-discipline means something entirely different to me these days.  Instead of mere willpower to create a plan and adhere rigidly to it, requiring great fetes of strength of mind, will, and character, I now approach self-discipline as the ability to do the right things according to my highest good and to change course immediately if need be.  Allow me to explain.

My old paradigm of self-discipline was to create a plan of action and follow it to the letter.  Thoughts – words – planning – action.  Eventually, if you stick with your plan, accomplishment ensues.  While this paradigm certainly works and served me well for many years, I’ve outgrown it.

My new paradigm is this:  Desire – Insight – Achievement.  What’s the advantage?  SPEED! 

Over the years, I’ve learned that anything and everything I’ve ever wanted was always within my grasp, I just had to get out of my own way, out of my limited way of thinking, and allow it into my experience.  How?  By allowing the intelligence of the universe that God originally put into motion to work for me.  You see, we get what we think about the way we think about it whether that’s what we want or not.  Let me give you an example relating to money.  A lot of people worry about money.  A lot of people say they want more money.  So they worry about how to get more money.  They worry about someone taking their money away from them, something happening to them, etc.  (I’m stopping now – remember, Be Careful What You Cause Others to Picture.)

Worrying about money brings you more worrying about money.  What these people find is, if they apply my old paradigm to making money, once they get it, they have to set a new goal immediately in order to feel safe.  They feel as if they must constantly be working toward achieving the next goal.  It’s like a task just waiting to be done – once it’s done, so what?  Next task.  It’s the only way to keep the worrying at bay, but it’s only temporary.  Eventually, the next goal is achieved and you’re back to worrying again because that’s what you’re attracting to yourself is worry about money.  Let me paint a better picture for you – a real life example.

My ex-husband and I used to sell life insurance.  We spent our days in other people’s homes listening to their fears about money.  We were shocked one day to meet a couple who, together, made $10,000 a year, had $5,000 in the bank, and thought they were very wealthy.  (By emphasizing the word, thought, I’m not making a judgment, simply wanting you to make the connection.) They were proud of how much money they had, earned, and tithed to their church. 

Successful self-discipline doesn’t take you to a state of doing, but rather to a state of being.  This couple just wanted to be happy, have happy kids (2), and have enough money to live happily and tithe to their church.  (To people in this area, tithing 10% of whatever you make is, for the most part, their way of giving what they owe of their abundance back to God by giving it to their church.  Anything they give to charities is considered “above-and-beyond,” and doesn’t count, except for tax purposes!)

So if developing the self-discipline to be what you desire as much of the time as possible is the goal, how does one achieve that?  Here’s what I’ve learned.

Step 1: Define what you want.  Is it a material item, condition, or state of being?  A state of being is the easiest to accomplish since all you have to do is make the decision to be it and you’re there.  Planning can help you maintain that state.  For example, if your goal is to be happy, simply make the decision to be happy right now, but plan how to stay there or create that state as often as possible.  It would be worthwhile to create a list of the things, conditions, feelings, etc. that make you happy – that would be your plan.  If you’re seeking something material or other than a state of being, move on to Step 2.

Step 2: Answer this question:  Why?  Why do you want this?  What would having this accomplish for you?  Most of the time, we desire things because we think they would make us happy.  That’s why lots of motivational gurus and law of attraction teachers tell us to just be happy in the now, but there are other states of being worth striving for – pride, free of worry, confident, relaxed.  Yes, I know, most of these are just synonyms for happiness, but I love to define things in many ways and find it helps to do so.

Step 3:  Describe the essence, feeling, or quality that having this item would bring you.  How will you feel once you have accomplished this goal or acquired this item?  How would you feel about it? Visualize your life once your goal has been obtained.  How are you different?

For example, one of my desires is a new house.  Instead of going into all the reasons that I think I want a new house, or why I deserve a new house, or listing everything that is wrong with my current house, I simply focus on how I would feel about my new house:    Proud.  I will take excellent care of it.  It will be organized and clean. 

Step 4:  Create affirmations that establish your “being-ness.”  In other words, you have achieved your desire, therefore you are _____________.  Start your affirmations with, “I am . . .”  I am proud of my home and take excellent care of it.  My home is organized and clean.

Step 5:  Share the wealth.  Help others who are seeking the same thing get it.  We get more of what we want by helping others get what they want.  If you can’t make a direct correlation between what you want and helping others get it, what do you have to give?  What are your talents?  How can you be of service?  How can you find the people who want what you have to offer?

Step 6:  Stay the course.  Perhaps the highest endeavor to attempt in life is that of making up your mind and sticking with it, while still being able to perceive when you’re off the path.  Once you find your true life’s path, this will be much easier to do.  That’s not to say that you won’t constantly want more or change your mind about certain specifics; we are constantly experiencing new things and creating new desires.  That’s the nature of life.  Actions create outcomes and we either like the outcome and want more or we don’t like the outcome and change course.  But once you decide on your overriding desire, stay true to it.  Otherwise, know that each time you change your mind there could be an increased delay in what you want coming to you.  I’ve written about this before in the Value of Persistence.

Step 7:  Obey your subconscious.  Once you begin acting out of your desired state of being, you will start to get “clues” as to what you should do.  This is your higher self, or God, speaking to you.  Listen and do as you’re told.  That is self-discipline.

Until next time,

Live joyfully!

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CREATE THE LIFE YOU WANT NOW When you’re ready to take control of your life, you’ll want to purchase my latest book to get started on the right path. You’ll learn my latest success tips and how I’ve applied 20 years of solid business principles and the Law of Attraction to acquiring the life of my dreams. Wake Up and Create the Life You Want: A Guide to Self-Empowerment is helping many others do exactly the same.  You can read their stories here.  If you choose the downloadable version, it comes with my free report on “The Science of Getting Rich.” Don’t miss out on this very special offer!

Technorati Tags: Motivational Speaker, Motivation, Organize, Success, Law of Attraction, Dental Practice Management, Coach, Consultant, Paperless Office, Motivational Book

Posted under Inspiration, Law of Attraction, Leadership, Motivation, Success, Weight Loss

I love it when I’m inspired by one of my readers.  Yesterday, Scot Herrick posted a comment on my post, Life Balance, and touched on a topic that I cover in my seminars and plan to spend quite a bit of time on in my up-coming retreat.  (More details on that coming – I promise!)  However, I’m not sure I’ve ever blogged about this process.

Here is Scot’s comment:

“I think one of the more interesting challenges that need addressing is how people know when they are being asked to make a choice (e.g., you just say “yes” to anything your manager wants that requires extra hours outside of the normal work hours) and how to frame that choice against, for example, your values.

How to know and make the choice in the moment. How to consistently implement that in the moment. Now, there’s a good challenge!”

Yes – exactly – that is the challenge!  And that’s one of the reasons I have my seminar audiences role-play this exact concept.  Here’s what we do.

First, we spend some time defining our values and prioritizing them.  If you’re new here at DebraMoorhead.com, here’s an article that will walk you through how to do this step.

Then I have my audience create a list of activities they feel “obligated” to that do not fit within their values.  It’s amazing how many items almost everyone can come up with.

Next, we discuss briefly how we got involved in that obligation, and make sure that we’ve identified things properly. Sometimes you think you don’t want to do something, but you really do – it really is within your value set – or you’re just choosing not to enjoy something when you could if you changed your frame of reference.  Let me give you an example.

Many parents complain about having to attend so many of their children’s’ school functions, when being involved in their child’s education is important to them.  And, if they were to be honest, they really enjoy having an excuse to leave work early or the camaraderie with the other parents, or just spending time with their child after the event at the Pizza Hut – or whatever.

Similarly, many people try to shift to doing more work within their church saying that it makes them feel good, when in fact it doesn’t – it just makes them feel more obligated and stressed.  They might get coerced into teaching a Sunday school class, and even though they know they are contributing and making a difference, not really enjoying the actual work required for the activity.

In other words, it’s important to be truly honest with yourself, about which activities you want to keep, eliminate, and possibly add.  I find that most of us just need more down time – time to relax, meditate, pray, read, and just be.  Once you make your decision, enjoy it; don’t get caught up in everyone else’s complaining habits.

Next comes the fun part – we role-play saying “No.”  First, I just have them turn to each other and say the word – several times.  We have fun with it.  Then, knowing that the real world doesn’t operate that way and that most of us like to soften disappointment, I have them practice saying this to each other:  “I’m sorry, but I’ll have to say no.  It just doesn’t fit within my value system at this time.  If something changes, I’ll let you know.”

What does that say?  It’s much better than feigning the excuse, “I don’t have the time,” because what will a lot of people come back and say?  “Sounds like a time management problem to me!”

Instead, the above statement gives the main point straight out – No.  It also says, “I know my values and I value myself enough to abide by them.”  Most importantly, it says, “Don’t call me, I’ll call you,” but in a gentler way.

Next, I have the audience actually visualize delivering this statement to someone in their life at the present time that they really want to say it to.  Everyone has someone!  We pretend that person is in front of us and we role-play again, having a lot of fun.  Then we discuss other possible scenarios and role-play anything we feel necessary.  For example, sometimes it’s not the same person who comes to you that you can’t say NO to, but a particular group.  So we use a “faceless person” and visualize the event.

The reason I like role-playing so much is because I have seen the effectiveness of practicing.  You can practice anything in your mind and be better prepared for the actual event.  When I was a music major in college I sometimes couldn’t get to the instrument I needed to practice.  Several of my professors told me it would work just the same to imagine the fingerings and techniques, imagine the instrument, imagine the feeling, etc.  I was amazed at how well it worked.  Sure it’s not 100% like the real thing, but it is amazingly close.

So what is “the real thing” in this scenario?  Actually saying No in a situation where you are being asked to do something outside your value system.  Getting back to Scot’s comment - the challenge of consistently implementing your choice in the moment -  practice makes perfect.  Plan it, visualize it, practice it, and do it.

I have been in the situation of having a supervisor ask me to work on projects that would require extra hours.  Once I was aware of the situation, I would simply say, “About the XYZ project you requested that I work on – you do realize that it will require overtime?”

I had only one of two responses:  One manager said, “Yes, is that okay?”  He knew I did not have children and given everyone’s work load assumed I had the least to do.  At that time in my life, I was okay with that.  The point here is I didn’t work for free.  I deserved to be paid for those hours – I was not in a salaried position and did not need to prove myself (I was not a new employee.)

Another manager responded with, “Okay, I’ll get someone else to do it,” which was also fine with me at that point in my career.  I sent the message that I would not be taken advantage of.  I would have been happy to have completed the work at my hourly rate, but he did not want to pay overtime and I knew that, which was why I addressed it.

If you are currently in a situation, or several of them, where you need to start bowing out and want to do so gracefully, another way that frequently works is to post your values at your workstation.  Trust me, people will notice.  If they don’t, here’s another great tip:  The next time someone comes to you and asks you to do something you feel uncertain about, pull out your list, right in front of them, and say, “Hmmmmm.  I’m not sure if that fits within my value system.  Can I get back to you on that?”

It’s good to let people know that you’re growing, developing, and changing.  Improvement is a good thing and if that means you have to let go of certain obligations, it will be worth it – to everyone - in the end.  After all, the best person for any position is the one who really wants to be there.

Until next time,

Live joyfully!

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CREATE THE LIFE YOU WANT NOW When you’re ready to take control of your life, you’ll want to purchase my latest book to get started on the right path. You’ll learn my latest success tips and how I’ve applied 20 years of solid business principles and the Law of Attraction to acquiring the life of my dreams. Wake Up and Create the Life You Want: A Guide to Self-Empowerment is helping many others do exactly the same.  You can read their stories here. If you choose the downloadable version, it comes with my free report on “The Science of Getting Rich.” Don’t miss out on this very special offer!

Technorati Tags: Motivational Speaker, Motivation, Organize, Success, Law of Attraction, Dental Practice Management, Coach, Consultant, Paperless Office, Motivational Book

Posted under Dental Practice Management, Motivation, Success

Everyone seems to be seeking life balance these days; it’s the most common question I receive in speeches and seminars and the most requested topic when someone calls to book me for a presentation.  Most people believe that their “work” life is out of balance with their “real” life and they want a quick fix or a list of steps or a ritual to perform to make it all better.  And I do provide that – the information on how to achieve life balance, anyway.

Today I’m going to make you stretch your thinking a little by saying that, are you ready for this (?), you already have life balance.

Yep.

It’s true.

Your work, your daily activities, your thoughts, and your feelings all represent the balance of who you think you are.  Let me explain.

Every day, all day long, we make choices.  We commit to things we’re asked to do.  Some are work related, others are personal.  Most of us over-commit, but that’s another post.

When we make these choices, there is always at least a split-second decision-making process that goes on in our minds.  Usually, the question we ask ourselves is, “Should I do this?”  And out of a sense of “obligation,” we say Yes - to anything, and everything.  Then, we harbor resentment toward the person or the activity, and when the time comes, we let our resentment put us in a bad mood, and complain about how we’re overworked, over stressed, and “out of balance.”

In reality, the “should do’s” in our lives come from our perception of who we believe we are, have become, or are becoming.  “I want my kids to remember me as an involved parent, so I’ll attend all the school meetings, coach all the sports teams, and volunteer to run all of the fundraisers.  I want my boss to like me so I’ll sign up for every extra project at work that I can, work 80 hours a week instead of 40-45, not ask to be paid overtime even though I really need the money, and do everything I can to make sure everyone sees what I do, how committed I am, and how much better I am than everyone else.  I want my spouse to love me and realize he/she can’t live without me, so I’ll be the perfect wife/husband by never complaining about all the work I do, even though it’s all for them.  Being a good church member is very important to me, so I’ll commit myself to attending every service and being as involved as I can.  And doing all of this will make me happy, or, if not, I’ll be too busy to notice.  Oh no, wait, I’m out of balance!”

Or dead!

Does this person’s life sound “out of balance” to you?  I agree.  It does.  But here’s the thing.  It’s not.

Our lives are perpetually in balance.  How?  Twenty-four hours in every day.  Seven days in every week.  Fifty-two weeks in every year.

What is out of balance is our thinking.  Your self-image of who you are is what dictates the answers to those “should do” requests.  Shift your thinking, shift your self-image, and you will suddenly feel the life balance you are seeking.  How? 

Define your values.  If being at every event for all three of your children is a top priority for you, that’s fine!  But be realistic about the time commitment required and balance (our word of the day) that value with the others in your list. 

Some of the most successful and highly-paid people in the world admit to working 80-hour weeks in order to get ahead.  That’s fine, too!  But they either didn’t have a family during those years, or they weren’t around much for them. 

Maintaining a welcoming home can be a full-time job.  Most women I know who are full-time homemakers and mothers admit to not knowing how women who work do everything.  In reality, they don’t.  Something inevitably goes undone because of that whole 24-hours-in-a-day concept again. 

Too often in my seminars, I see women comparing themselves to their neighbors; the working mother beats herself up because her house isn’t as clean as the lady’s next door who stays home, and the full-time mom beats herself up because she’s not helping her husband make a living for the family!  Who’s right and who’s wrong?  Both, and neither.  It’s not about right or wrong, it’s about what matters to you.  What do you want?  What makes your heart sing?

If every woman (and man) would do what makes her soul feel satisfied, the children, bosses, spouses, and churches would all be the better for it.  Why?  When you take care of yourself, most importantly your soul, everything else falls into place.  After all, life is balanced.  God knew what He was doing when He created 24/7/52.  Don’t you think?

Until next time,

Live joyfully!

You can subscribe to this blog here.

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CREATE THE LIFE YOU WANT NOW When you’re ready to take control of your life, you’ll want to purchase my latest book to get started on the right path. You’ll learn my latest success tips and how I’ve applied 20 years of solid business principles and the Law of Attraction to acquiring the life of my dreams. Wake Up and Create the Life You Want: A Guide to Self-Empowerment is helping many others do exactly the same.  You can read their stories here.  If you choose the downloadable version, it comes with my free report on “The Science of Getting Rich.” Don’t miss out on this very special offer!

Technorati Tags: Motivational Speaker, Motivation, Life Balance, Organize, Success, Law of Attraction, Dental Practice Management, Coach, Consultant, Paperless Office, Motivational Book

Posted under Education, Inspiration, Law of Attraction, Leadership, Motivation, Success

Today I’d like to introduce you to Scot Herrick.  Scot has been one of my subscribers for quite some time now and we’ve been around the blogoshere together on carnivals and the like.  Last week he interviewed me and is posting my answers to his questions on his site, Cube Rules.

Since I am busy today preparing a special dinner for our 8^th wedding anniversary (February 12^th), I thought I’d take a lazy approach and just send you over to Scot’s site for some good grub.  He asked some truly intriguing questions, and provides his own insightful commentary as well.  You’ll really enjoy the articles, and be sure to check out his site while you’re there.

The posts can be found at:

Wake Up and Create the Life You Want

Wake Up and Create the Life You Want, Part 2

Wake Up and Create the Life You Want, Part 3

Wake Up and Create the Life You Want, Part 4

Wake Up and Create the Life You Want, Part 5

Thanks, Scot - I truly enjoyed it! 

Until next time,

Live joyfully!

You can subscribe to this blog here.

Sign up for Retreat Information

CREATE THE LIFE YOU WANT NOW When you’re ready to take control of your life, you’ll want to purchase my latest book to get started on the right path. You’ll learn my latest success tips and how I’ve applied 20 years of solid business principles and the Law of Attraction to acquiring the life of my dreams. Wake Up and Create the Life You Want: A Guide to Self-Empowerment is helping many others do exactly the same.  You can read their stories here.  If you choose the downloadable version, it comes with my free report on “The Science of Getting Rich.” Don’t miss out on this very special offer!

Technorati Tags: Motivational Speaker, Motivation, Time Management, Success, Law of Attraction, Dental Practice Management, Coach, Consultant,   Motivational Book

Posted under Education, Inspiration, Law of Attraction, Leadership, Motivation, Success

I had a bone-chilling experience last week that I’d like to share with you today. 

I was shopping in the city (Florence, Kentucky) on a warm but rainy day.  I was in the middle of running several errands and while I didn’t feel particularly rushed, the rain was making just about everyone put a little spring in their step to get in and out of it as quickly as possible. 

Still, I was in a good mood and feeling connected to my higher self.  I was listening to a CD collection of my motivational/inspirational favorites.

I came out of PetsMart with several bags of cat food and litter, promptly loaded them into the trunk of my car, returned the cart to the store, and proceeded back to my car to leave for the next errand.

I had noticed no one in the parking lot the entire time of loading and returning the cart, so when I got into the car, I immediately started it up, put my foot on the brake pedal, switched the gear shift into reverse, and let off the brake, all in a very hurried (yet happy) manner.

All of a sudden I felt cold chills come all over me from head to toe in what I can only recall as the most unsettling way ever in my life.  It startled me so much that I instinctively put my foot back down on the brake.  I remember thinking, “What in the world is going on?”   I looked into the rearview mirror again and saw nothing, likewise for the side mirrors, but the feeling was so overwhelming, I looked back, even though I knew no one was in the parking lot, and again, saw nothing.  Still, the feeling was so strong, I looked again, and that’s when I spotted the very tip, about one inch’s worth, of a four-year-old’s head bobbing up and down directly behind my right back tire!

Apparently he and his father had been sitting in the extended cab pick-up sitting next to me – maybe his father was finishing a cell phone call(?) - and had gotten out just as I was pulling out.  The child had stopped to play in a puddle of water and either didn’t know better about where he was standing, or just didn’t notice.  His father was on the other side of the vehicle, becoming frustrated at pulling out a car seat, and hadn’t yet noticed where his son was standing.  They were both completely oblivious as to what had almost occurred.

With the speed and force I was getting ready to pull out with thinking that no one was around, and with where the child was standing, there is no way he would have survived.

I don’t know if it was his guardian angel, my guardian angel, or both at work, but I am so glad I was paying attention to and listening to my intuition on that day!

When I think of all the “accidents” that happen every day, and how much my life has been enhanced by developing and learning to trust my intuitive senses, I can’t help but wonder what a safer world we could live in if everyone become more spiritual/intuitive – more in touch with your higher self.

The experience touched me to my very core and as a result, I will be discussing ways to develop and trust your intuition more on this blog.  For today’s lesson, all I want to say is this:  If I had been in a bad mood, letting the weather get to me, resenting my chores, (I had several returns to make), or thinking that my conscious mind knew more than my sub-conscious, this story would have turned out much differently.

Listen to your spirit.  It knows things.

Until next time,

Please, for the life of a child,

Live joyfully!

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CREATE THE LIFE YOU WANT NOW When you’re ready to take control of your life, you’ll want to purchase my latest book to get started on the right path. You’ll learn my latest success tips and how I’ve applied 20 years of solid business principles and the Law of Attraction to acquiring the life of my dreams. Wake Up and Create the Life You Want: A Guide to Self-Empowerment is helping many others do exactly the same.  You can read their stories here.  If you choose the downloadable version, it comes with my free report on “The Science of Getting Rich.” Don’t miss out on this very special offer!

Technorati Tags: Motivational Speaker, Motivation, Intuition, Organize, Success, Law of Attraction, Coach, Consultant, Motivational Book

Posted under Inspiration, Law of Attraction, Motivation, Success

Job burnout is a debilitating condition with many possible causes and underlying symptoms.  I was recently suffering from burnout and after some research and self reflection, I came across a way that worked for me to overcome it, and the change seems to be lasting.

In the midst of what seems like a very promising speaking career, with tons of new ideas every day and the ability to implement any and all of them over time, I suddenly had no desire to do anything.  I had to make myself do the minimum necessary.  I’d go through my Outlook tasks looking for ways to put things off instead of completing and re-prioritizing them.

Once I realized what was happening, with a little help from my husband, I did a little online research as well as a little soul re-searching and discovered that I’d lost my focus.  Can you believe that?  Me – Debra Moorhead – the Focus Queen – losing her focus?   Talk about feeling like a hypocrite!  I mean, I talk about this, preach about this all the time in my seminars – staying on focus, learning to say No, focusing on your goals, your values, what matters most, etc.

But . . .

It happens to all of us.  When people come along with huge compliments and big desires for you, and you see how it could happen, and the subject is something you believe in, and hot, and new, and, and, and . . .

Well, it’s easy to get led astray.

So, I invented a new way to go through my Outlook tasks.

I created 3 new categories:  Mission, JOY, and Off the Path.  (Actually, I already had a category for JOY, but I’m using it in a new way here – bear with me; I’ll explain.)

“Mission” is for those items directly related to accomplishing my mission in life, which is to motivate, educate, and inspire others to be their best through my writing, speaking, and coaching.

The “JOY” category is for those items that feed my spirit and help me create my heart’s desires.  This can be anything that I just love to do.

“Off the Path,” are those obligations that I’ve allowed myself to be talked in to – notice that I said, “allowed,” – that’s very important because I accept full responsibility for everything occurring in my life.  But it’s important to identify those items and we’ll get to the reasoning behind that in just a moment.

I began sifting through my very long list and categorizing each item, making some tough calls along the way.  Let me give you some examples.

“Get book listed with Amazon,” is a task that has been sitting there for a few months.  The service agreement is downloaded and ready for my review, but I just can’t seem to get around to it.  This job is very important to my mission, so it went into the Mission category.

“Put away snowmen and re-decorate for spring.”  This undertaking is past due for me since, by February, we Kentuckians are tired of winter and very much ready to see the Daffodils pop up.  Since I love decorating the house and creating an inviting home for me and my husband, this chore went into the JOY category.

“Start writing ‘Paperless Dentistry.’”  Hmmmmm.  A few weeks ago, this was a very exciting project for me.  It’s something I believe in, it’s timely, it’s a hot topic, it’s necessary – lots of reasons to do it.  However, it’s not my passion.  I could rationalize it and say that it’s part of my mission “to educate others” and help them “become their best,” but when I’m honest with myself, (and if you’re not going to be honest with yourself, who are you going to be honest with) it really doesn’t set my heart on fire like leading a retreat based on Wake Up and Create the Life You Want.  This task is Off the Path.

I continued through the list until all 56 items had been re-categorized, with 12 items moved to the Off the Path grouping.

Bingo!  Just like that I felt a huge burden lifted from my shoulders and I started to get my mojo back!  I started writing again with passion.  I began pursuing a retreat venue.  The list within the Mission category suddenly seemed not only doable, but JOYful – it’s great when those two cross-reference!

Of course, there were a few errands that fit none of the three, such as replacing the Brita filters, updating credit card info on recurring accounts, or getting my tax information ready for my accountant.  These things, while neither particularly JOYful nor Mission critical, are also not Off the Path.  But with the Off the Path category defined and moved out, those little things don’t seem overwhelming at all.

What am I doing with the items in my Off the Path category?  Nothing for now.  I figure there’s no harm in letting them stay there.  If something changes, or I suddenly get bored and don’t have enough to do, they could move into the Mission field.  But then it would be my choice – and that’s the point.

Be true to yourself, your purpose, and your mission.  That is your first priority.  Everything and everyone else can wait.  Or, they will move on, proving that your involvement wasn’t necessary to begin with, which can be very freeing as well.

If you’ve lost your zest for life, I suggest you give this system a whirl.  You’ll be amazed at the renewed sense of vitality and energy it brings you.

Until next time,

Live Joyfully!

You can subscribe to this blog here.

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CREATE THE LIFE YOU WANT NOW When you’re ready to take control of your life, you’ll want to purchase my latest book to get started on the right path. You’ll learn my latest success tips and how I’ve applied 20 years of solid business principles and the Law of Attraction to acquiring the life of my dreams. Wake Up and Create the Life You Want: A Guide to Self-Empowerment is helping many others do exactly the same.  You can read their stories here. If you choose the downloadable version, it comes with my free report on “The Science of Getting Rich.” Don’t miss out on this very special offer!

Technorati Tags: Motivational Speaker, Motivation, Burnout, Organize, Life, Success, Law of Attraction, Dental Practice Management, Coach, Consultant, Paperless Office, Motivational Book

Posted under Dental Practice Management, Education, Inspiration, Leadership, Motivation, Success

According to the most popular motivational authors and speakers, one of the truest tests of a mission statement is this:  Does it make you leap out of bed in the morning? 

I am not a morning person.  I’d like to be, so I’m working on it, but I don’t leap out of bed, usually.  Oh, if I have something really exciting going on and I remember it the first thing when I wake up I’ll sometimes “leap,” but most of my days are delightfully peaceful.  Easy and relaxed, with quiet enthusiasm - the way I like it to be most of the time. 

So what does that say of my mission statement?  What does that say about the purpose I’ve chosen for this life experience?

When I first heard that concept expressed – that your mission should cause you to leap out of bed – it bummed me out a little.  I thought, “I can’t remember the last time I literally leaped out of bed.  Is my own mission to motivate, educate, and inspire others to be their best not motivating to me?  Boy, there’s some irony for you!”

Naturally, I had to reflect on this for a while. 

I write my mission statement in a special journal every day.  It’s part of my morning ritual.  The reason I include this step in my daily routine is precisely because it motivates me.  It reminds me of what I truly want in life, and helps me prioritize my day.

It’s wonderful if your mission statement can literally cause you to leap out of bed.  But don’t beat yourself up if it doesn’t.  Here’s the real question you should ask yourself about your mission statement:  Does it jump-start your motivation for life? 

If so, you’re fine, regardless of your AM cradle habits.  If not, consider revising it until it does motivate you.  Your personal mission statement should resonate with your authentic self.  It is not something you write out of obligation or protocol.  

Having a personal mission statement always brings me back to my true passion because as I write it out each morning, I can always feel whether I am in alignment with it or not, based on my schedule for the day.  I had an opportunity to be reminded of that lately and I am so thankful that I did not spend a lot of time on a tangent that did not correspond to my true desires. 

A motivating mission statement is a powerful benchmark.  Do you have one?

Until next time,

Live joyfully!

You can subscribe to this blog here.

Sign up for Retreat Information

CREATE THE LIFE YOU WANT NOW When you’re ready to take control of your life, you’ll want to purchase my latest book to get started on the right path. You’ll learn my latest success tips and how I’ve applied 20 years of solid business principles and the Law of Attraction to acquiring the life of my dreams. Wake Up and Create the Life You Want: A Guide to Self-Empowerment is helping many others do exactly the same.  You can read their stories here.  If you choose the downloadable version, it comes with my free report on “The Science of Getting Rich.” Don’t miss out on this very special offer!

Technorati Tags: Motivational Speaker, Motivation, Organize, Success, Law of Attraction, Dental Practice Management, Coach, Consultant, Paperless Office, Motivational Book

Posted under Inspiration, Motivation, Success