Catch-up Day

After 9 rehearsals and two concerts in the past three weeks, I am finally exhausted!  My husband and I play keyboards for a local community group called “The Golden Chord Singers.”  Every Spring we host a dinner concert with lively themed music from the 1930’s to current show tunes.

The concerts were Friday and Saturday nights and came off without a hitch, so my husband and I took a much deserved respite to the Red River Gorge on Sunday.  We hiked for two hours on a gorgeous trail with mountain streams, cool caves, and beautiful flora.

All of this activity, as wonderful as it was, has left me a little behind in writing blog posts, working on my book, preparing for up-coming speeches, and life in general.  So today, is catch-up day.

The plan is to get caught up on e-mails and housework, then strategically plan the next two weeks.  Above all, I want to enjoy the day.  It’s supposed to be 81 degrees and sunny.  I want to get out there and enjoy part of it, realizing that I’m not really behind.  It might seem that way at the moment, but I will get “caught up” and life is supposed to be fun with a little music, creativity, choice, and angst thrown in.  It’s all good!

Have a wonderfully creative day!

Posted under Motivation

This post was written by Debra Moorhead, Motivation, Education, Inspiration on April 30, 2007

Tags:

Your Magic Wand

I’ve been working on increasing this site’s traffic for the past several days and, as a result, have a lot of new readers.  Welcome, and thanks for allowing me the opportunity to have an impact on your life.

I’ve been getting a few more e-mails than usual and they are starting to have a theme.  Since many of you are new, I am taking this opportunity to both answer your questions and re-address what this website is about.

The three most common inquiries I receive are:

  1. I love what you say about determining what you want and developing a strategic plan for getting it.  But I don’t know what I want.  How do I figure that out?
  2. I know what I want, but I don’t have the first clue as to how to go about getting it.  I feel like I have no control over my time and every time I think about what I want, I just get more frustrated.  Do you have any words of wisdom for me?
  3. I know what I want and you’ve given me several ideas on how to get it, but I feel so confused.  Where do I start?

Let’s address these one by one.

I love what you say about determining what you want and developing a strategic plan for getting it.  But I don’t know what I want.  How do I figure that out?

I understand.  I’ve been there.  Here’s what helped me.  You think you don’t know what you want, but I bet you have a very good idea of what you don’t want.  Grab a notebook and pen, and start making a list of everything in your life right now that you’d like to get rid of.  Is there something you’re afraid you’re going to get that you don’t want?  For example, a couple of months before my grandmother passed away, she told me that she had had a “pretty good life.”  She said it in her typical, self-pitying, “poor me” tone.  I became angry with her.  She was not an extremely pleasant woman and she really gave my mother a hard time.  I became angry thinking, “Well, if you didn’t have the life you wanted, why didn’t you do something about it?”  That’s when I realized it was time for me to wake up.  I didn’t want to get to the end of my life and say, “I’ve had a pretty good life.”

Once you have your “don’t want” list, go back and turn everything around.  I want a great, fantastic, awesome life.  I’m not going to get that by following in my grandmother’s footsteps, so I’m choosing a different path.  For whatever you don’t want, you probably do want the opposite of it.  Create that list.

Once you have your list of desires, take responsibility for each and every item on it.  That visit with my grandmother made me realize that if I didn’t take control of my life experience, I was going to end up like her - reacting to others’ circumstances, and making everyone around me miserable.  Whatever it’s going to take to create the life you want, it’s up to you to do it.  Just accept that, and you will start to feel better.  No one is coming to rescue you.  That’s okay.  You don’t need rescuing.

I know what I want, but I don’t have the first clue as to how to go about getting it.  I feel like I have no control over my time and whenever I think about what I want, I just get more frustrated.  Do you have any words of wisdom for me?

If I could wave a magic wand and make your life perfect in every way, what would change for you?  What would be different?  How would you spend your time?  Would you be doing the same tasks?  Would you be spending time with the same people?  Would you be visiting the same places?

I have good news for you.  You do have a magic wand.  It’s also known as “free will” and it is your God-given birthright.  You are creating your life experience either deliberately, or by default.  My grandmother’s was by default.  She did what was expected of her and died unfulfilled.  I am deliberately creating my life now and begin each morning’s journal entry with, “I am the luckiest person alive.”  Which way is it going to be for you?

I know what I want and you’ve given me several ideas on how to get it, but I feel so confused.  Where do I start?

Just breathe.  Seriously.  I know that to many of you it sounds over-simplified, but when I start to feel overwhelmed, I take a deep breath, or two, or three, and then I write or review my strategic plan.  Once you have your plan, you won’t feel so overwhelmed.  (If you do, it’s time to stop and re-assess.)  My planning sessions always begin with one hour of solitude, because clarity is essential to this process.  Also important, is being connected to your source energy, and the best way to connect and become clear, is to breathe.

The most important piece of advice I could give anyone would be to stay motivated.  At this point, I don’t know if I stay motivated, or if I just keep re-motivating myself on a regular basis.  Ultimately, the semantics don’t matter; results matter.  So keep reading all the motivational materials you can get your hands on.  There are plenty of free resources on the web, as well as many inexpensive books, even e-books now (mine will be coming out soon – possibly next week!), that will help you keep your momentum going.

To the right of this post are hundreds of links.  Do yourself a favor and take an hour or so to peruse through whatever sparks your interest.  Bookmark this site and any others that appeal to you.  Register so that you can get e-mail updates.  (You can always delete them if they don’t appeal to you.)  I sign up for everything out there because I can’t tell the future and never know when something is going to be just what I needed to read for that day.  It’s important to have lots of resources at your immediate disposal.  Start a motivational library of books, and keep motivational CD’s in your car.

Remember, you can change your world, one day, one hour, one task at a time.  Create your days, and your life will take care of itself.

My Favorite Sites

Where does Debra Moorhead go for motivation, education, and inspiration?  Throughout my posts, I list my favorite books and CD’s, and here is a list of my favorite websites:

SelfGrowth.com

StevePavlina.com

Abraham-Hicks.com

OptimistLab.com

TodayisThatDay.com

LiveThePower.com

ChristineKane.com

CultivateGreatness.com

HayHouseRadio.com

10000thoughts.com

About.com

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GET THE BOOK If you’d like to read all my latest success tips and how I’ve applied 20 years of solid business principles and the law of attraction to acquiring the life of my dreams, and am helping others do the same, you’ll want your own copy of Wake Up and Create the Life You Want: A Self-Empowerment Guide. It comes with my free report on “The Science of Getting Rich.”  Both are downloadable, so you get them immediately.

Posted under Education, Inspiration, Law of Attraction, Leadership, Motivation

Why Affirmations Sometimes Fail

One of my all-time favorite motivational books is With Winning In Mind by Lanny Bassham.  I love his personal story of how even though he was the “last person picked” on just about every sports team in school, he ended up becoming an Olympic Champion.  Obviously, he has a lot to share about overcoming negative thinking – your own as well as others’!

Mr. Bassham’s “Mental Management System,” is the directive affirmation.  Everything he writes is true, excellent, and useful.  I’ve used his technique many times, often with success.  However, (and you knew that was coming, didn’t you?) I’ve also had affirmations fail me, and I’ve had them work for awhile, then suddenly stop working.

For a long time it puzzled me as to why my affirmations would sometimes work and other times not give me the results I wanted.  Deep down, I think I knew all along, but wasn’t willing to admit it.  So today, I’m going to admit my short-comings in the hope that many of you will change your approach, and start getting results.

When my directive affirmations were related to something fun that I really wanted, I noticed that I got results rather quickly.  For the most part, as soon as I decided to start the affirmation, it was done.  Goal accomplished.

Then there were those areas in which I needed to work on myself.  For example, I decided I wanted to become a “morning person.”  To me that means getting up at 5 or 6 AM, whether you need to, want to, or not.  I could write several pages on why I think that, but let’s just say that it comes from a lifetime of being around those people and leave it at that.  Okay?  Good.  Moving on then.

I wrote my affirmation for becoming a morning person and followed all the instructions.  I reviewed it every morning when I got up and at night before going to bed.  I also repeated it to myself several times throughout the day when I would come across my task (in Outlook) to do so.  After all, I am very disciplined.

Now there’s a situational oxymoron for you!  Why would a highly disciplined person need a directive affirmation to get up in the morning?  Well, that’s kind of the problem.  You see, I’ve always been able to get up early, when I needed to.  When I was a computer trainer living one hour away from my home office, I would often have to get up at 4:30 AM, shower and dress, drive one hour to pick up laptops, and then drive another hour to where I was training.  (Hey, I said I was disciplined, not smart!)  But I had this misconception that to truly be a “morning person,” you had to get up that early every day, and be happy about it.  I was also convinced that truly successful people are morning people and since I want to be successful . . .

So I wrote my affirmation.  “I am a morning person.  I feel great and have more energy throughout the day when I get up at 5 AM.  I love the feeling of success that comes from getting up early and getting an early start to my day.  I am a morning person.”

Thirty days go by. . . nothing.  Sixty days . . . nothing.  As always, I could get up when I had to,  (I counted that as success!), but no lasting change ever took hold.  Why?

Abraham would say that my vibrational offering was not consistent with the words I was using to try to attract my new lifestyle.  Let’s examine that theory for a moment.

My real attitude, the thoughts going on in my brain, toward my “goal” was, “Oh, great.  I have to read my directive affirmation now.  Boy, I hope this works ‘because I’m really tired of dealing with this.  Why can’t I just grow up already?”  Hmmmmm.  I think Abraham might be on to something.

You see, I was trying to change something about myself that I really didn’t want to – or need to.  I get up early when I have an early appointment or long drive ahead of me, and on days I’m working from home, I get up at 7.  If I have trouble falling asleep for some reason, and that’s becoming less and less of a problem, I will allow myself to sleep later.  I now love the feeling that a good night’s rest gives me, and I appreciate that, instead of worrying over whether or not I’m going to be able to get up early, which, now that I think about it, is probably why I’m sleeping better.  Gosh, is this all just one big circle?

So how can you use this to your advantage?  If you’ve been having trouble accomplishing a goal, write a directive affirmation.  Lanny Bassham’s instructions are:

Step 1:  Define the goal.
Step 2:  Set a time limit.
Step 3:  List the personal pay-value of reaching this goal.
Step 4:  Outline the plan to achieve the goal.
Step 5:  Write a Directive Affirmation.

Once you’ve accomplished all of that, start monitoring your thoughts.  Your thoughts reflect your feelings and what you are vibrating into the universe.  Are you positive?  Is this goal something you’re looking forward to achieving?  Do you feel as if you are on the verge of its attainment?  If so, just keep up the good work.  You will get there.

If not, stop and adjust your thinking.  Is this goal something you really want?  Why do you want it?  (Review the pay-value?)  Is it really worth it?

Are you allowing worry to creep in?  Worry is an indicator that you are attracting the lack of what you want.  Thoughts like, “I don’t know how I’ll ever do this,” are worrisome thoughts.  You’ve got to get control over those with other thoughts like, “I can do this.  The universe is going to show me how.”

If it’s something you truly want or the payoff if huge enough, keep working on your affirmation until you do feel good about it.  For example, I had an affirmation for drinking more water.  I tried using the statement, “I love water.”  But my vibrational offering was, “Yuck!  It has no taste.  Who really thinks that?”  But I enjoy the energy boost drinking water gives me in the afternoon. I knew I had to change my thinking in order to change my vibration.  So I changed my affirmation to, “I drink water in the afternoon because of the energy it gives me.”  Period.  Short, sweet, and effective.  Now I drink tea in the mornings, water in the afternoon, and Perrier with grape juice in the evenings.  This is my routine when I’m working from home.  I know it’s an established habit, because I miss it when I’m on the road.

Now it’s your turn.  What affirmations do you need to re-birth?  Work on them until they feel good to you.  My new rule is this:  When you can say your affirmation with a sincere smile on your face, you’ve got it.  It’s on its way to you!

Enjoy this awesome, God-given day!!!

You can subscribe to this blog here.

GET THE BOOK If you’d like to read all my latest success tips and how I’ve applied 20 years of solid business principles and the law of attraction to acquiring the life of my dreams, and am helping others do the same, you’ll want your own copy of Wake Up and Create the Life You Want: A Self-Empowerment Guide. It comes with my free report on “The Science of Getting Rich.”  Both are downloadable, so you get them immediately.

Posted under Inspiration, Law of Attraction, Leadership, Motivation

The Motivational Trick that Works – EVERY Time

Would you like to know the very best way to get yourself motivated?

I have stumbled upon a little “trick” that I have shared with friends and fellow speakers for about a year now that they later tell me works like a charm – every time.  It’s something anyone and everyone can do.  Are you ready?

Write your own motivational “book.”  Okay, okay, okay.  Keep reading, (I can see your eyes rolling from here), because I’m not talking about becoming a motivational writer or speaker, although that’s great if you want to do so.  For the most part, you’ll be writing for your eyes only.

A lot of success coaches and motivational gurus talk about keeping a “Career” journal.  I’m sure you’ve heard of it before – you keep a special journal with career successes and challenges, then go back and review it periodically so that you can see how far you’ve come.

I’ve taken that concept one step further.  Yes, keep a special journal.  I mean, pay a few extra dollars for this paper.  Choose a cover that inspires you.  Make sure it’s of good quality.  In other words, this particular journal is not going to come from Walmart (hopefully.)

Now, I do want you to write down, in this special diary, your career successes.  But I only want you to write in this special journal when you are feeling on top of the world.  You’ve had those experiences - those days when everything was just perfect.  You were fantastic.  You could hear, see, taste, touch, and feel with every fiber of your being, your success.

Writing in this journal is a privilege.  You do not write in this journal every day, and you never, ever, write anything negative.  This is not a chronicle of your feelings, although your feelings will be imbedded in it.  In fact, that’s the very point.

The reason I want you to only write in this journal when you are feeling fabulous, is because later on, days, weeks, months, or years later, when you come back and read an entry, you will actually feel, if only for a few brief seconds, the exact vibration you were feeling when you wrote that entry.

Now, stop and think about this for a moment.  It’s great to pick up a motivational book and read a passage that gets you going.  But to be able to pick up something that you wrote, that reminds you of how wonderful you are, how fantastic your life is, how talented you are in your chosen field, and to remember these things with the same passion that you were feeling when you wrote about them – that is priceless!  It doesn’t have to be grammatically correct or anything ready for publishing – it just has to capture the moment, the feelings, and the vibration of success.

Don’t get me wrong:  I am eternally grateful for the blessings of great writers like Napoleon Hill, Og Mandino, Steve Chandler, Brain Tracy, Jack Canfield, Bob Bly, Nicole Williams, Esther Hicks and I could go on and on and on . . . But the best motivator for Debra Moorhead, is Debra Moorhead.  And the best motivator for you, is you.

I challenge you to challenge me.  Challenge this theory.  Purchase an expensive journal and follow my instructions.  Here is what I’ve written just inside the front cover of my $25, 5.5” by 8” leather bound pink crocodile-print professional journal:

“This is a very special journal – evidenced by the cover.  I allow myself to write in this book only when I have earned the right.  It is encouragement for my future self.”

I want to clarify something I said earlier.  I wrote, “Never, ever, write anything negative.”  What I really mean by that is, don’t write when you’re feeling negative.  It’s okay to write about feeling great because you’ve overcome a major obstacle.  That’s often when we do feel on top of the world.  You’re just not going to use this journal as a place to whine.  Do that in your regular journal.  In fact, I tear out and through away my entries that are negative.  It’s good to get such feelings “off your chest,” but don’t hang on to them.  Don’t go back and read them. What purpose does it serve?

You might think that it would help you realize that you’ve “had it worse.”  But it doesn’t make you feel good at all.  I read a long time ago about an experiment where volunteers were asked to keep a journal for one year.  At the end of the year, the group was split in half.  One-half was told to throw their journals away.  The other half were told to go back each day and read the entry for that day the previous year.  A large percentage of the participants who read their previous journal entries were diagnosed with severe clinical depression within six months.  Interesting, isn’t it?

So use this information to your advantage.  Don’t write something that is going to bring down the energy level of your future self.  Write in this journal only when you’re feeling great and have something you really want to remember.

When I go back and read entries from my special professional journal, it’s more than just being motivated into action; I am reminded of my own greatness.  Sure, it’s great to see how far I’ve come and to realize that I am capable of overcoming just about any obstacle that comes up.  But it’s more than that.  It’s proof that I can do it.  It’s proof that I can do anything I put my focus on.  There is nothing more powerful than that.

Until next time,
Live Joyfully!

Posted under Inspiration, Law of Attraction, Motivation

Keep Moving to Succeed

Have you ever noticed how some of the most successful people you know are also the most energetic?  I have noticed in my own life that the faster I work, the more successful I feel.  I don’t know that I am any more successful than I would be if I moved slowly, but there does seem to be a correlation here so I wanted to share it with you.

According to Brian Tracy, “When you become an action-oriented person, you activate the ‘Momentum Principle’ of success. This principle says that although it may take tremendous amounts of energy to overcome inertia and get going initially, it then takes far less energy to keep going.”

Well, that makes sense doesn’t it?  I mean, I know from personal experience that it is easier to stay on the treadmill than to get on the treadmill!  (Ah – again – the Beauty of Rituals!)

Here’s what I believe is going on.  The faster you work at your highest payoff activities, the more effective you feel. The more effective you feel, the more confidence you have, the more confidence you have, the more you will take risks, the more you take risks, the more successful you become.  The more successful you become, the more you want to continue moving and become even more successful.

I’ve talked before about ways to increase your energy level, and I’ve personally used all of those to jump-start my brain into working.  Another good way to get yourself going is to post a “Do it now” sign on your desk – or make those words your screen saver.  I’ve used that little trick before to huge benefits.  (It also impresses the heck out of people who visit you at your desk long enough to make your screen saver switch on.)

I also like the idea of a “power break.”  When I was writing proprietary training documentation, I would push through a long 90-minute writing stretch and come out of it feeling like my brain had been fried.  Wanting to maintain my speed, (momentum), I’d take a 10-minute walk at a fast pace or just go to the ladies’ room and do jumping jacks to keep my physical momentum up and regain my brain capacity.  I could then sit back down and do another 90-minute stretch of good quality, informative writing.  People were often amazed at how much I could write in one day, but to me, it was all due to the “Momentum Principle.”

Here’s another quote from Brain Tracy:

“In the final analysis, nothing will help you more in your career than for you to get the reputation for being the kind of person who gets important work done quickly and well. This reputation will make you one of the most valuable and respected people in your field.”

Your Assignment

Practice makes perfect.  Whatever you have to do today, get it done NOW.  Pretend you’re leaving work at noon and have to get everything on your to-do list finished by that time.  Just think of what you could accomplish if you had all afternoon to work on whatever you want.  Wouldn’t that be great?  It is possible – just keep moving.

You can subscribe to this blog here.

GET THE BOOK If you’d like to read all my latest success tips and how I’ve applied 20 years of solid business principles and the law of attraction to acquiring the life of my dreams, and am helping others do the same, you’ll want your own copy of Wake Up and Create the Life You Want: A Self-Empowerment Guide. It comes with my free report on “The Science of Getting Rich.”  Both are downloadable, so you get them immediately.

Posted under Inspiration, Law of Attraction, Leadership, Motivation

The Beauty of Rituals

In My Simply Successful Secrets post, several people commented on how “disciplined” I must be.  The first time I read that, I laughed.  Then when several others joined in or e-mailed me, I thought, “Boy, do I have them fooled!”

Self-discipline is something I’ve been working on for several years now.  I can’t tell you how many books I’ve read, except to say, “lots.”  Searching for articles on self-discipline is how I found Steve Pavlina’s website.  But it was Steve Chandler’s 100 Ways To Motivate Yourself that triggered the idea of rituals for me.  Steve writes:

“See yourself as a shaman or medicine man who needs to dance and sing to get the healing started.  Make up a ritual that is yours and yours alone – a ritual that will be your own shortcut to self-motivation.”

Chandler goes on to link motivation (and discipline) to Newton’s first law of motion, quoting, “ . . .an object in motion tends to stay in motion.”  Remember that little gem?

The first way I applied this concept to my life was to motivate myself to write.  I love writing, but when the pressure was on to write a blog post, article, or part of my book, I would frequently put it off.  So to get myself “in motion,” I would start writing – anything.  I did not force myself to start writing a post, I’d just write.  Before long, just a few minutes, I would find myself writing on the designated project.

Now, I can motivate myself into doing just about anything I need to do, without giving it much thought or effort.  So how did I get from point A to point B?  Through the use, repeated use, of morning rituals.  Let me explain.

I had so much success in motivating myself to write by writing, I decided to try it in other areas of my life.  I would “trick” myself into exercising, by telling myself that I’m just going to spend 5 minutes on the treadmill.  Then, once I’d been going five minutes, I would decide to stay 10.  Then I’d think, “might as well finish the workout.” When I was in a really good mood, I’d challenge myself with, “let’s go for a record today and stay on an hour.  Yeah! That would feel great!”  But in the beginning, before I got on, walking was the last thing I really wanted to do.  Starting to see how it works?  An object in motion tends to stay in motion.

Anything I wanted to do, but couldn’t seem to summon the willpower to get started, I would “trick” myself into just doing a little bit of it, or doing something closely related.  What I found, was that many times, just getting my day started, was the “trick.”  If I could get a good start on my day, everything else for the rest of the day flowed easily and naturally.

The next step, was to develop my ideal day.   I’ve written about this before, but the basic gist of it is this: given your values, goals, and mission, what would your ideal day look like?  What tasks would you perform?  What is the best use of your time?  Lay it out – hour by hour, or in whatever increments work for you.  You can either do this at the end of each day for the next day, that was another one of my rituals several months ago, or you can set an overall “perfect” pattern that you follow as closely as possible.  It just depends upon how varied your schedule is.

The more specific you are about your ideal day - whether it’s a set plan or changing daily - the more control you will feel.  The more control you feel, the happier you are.  The happier you are, the more you enjoy life. The more you enjoy life, the more successful you are.  The more successful you are, the more successful you become.  Vicious cycle, isn’t it?

I worked on my ideal day for several weeks until I came up with a set pattern for my days when I’m working from home.  On days I travel, well, needless to say, I have to plan those separately.  But I want to point out, that when I take the time to plan those travel days, even though it may seem like they’re already laid out for me, if I take the time to think about what I’m going to do and when, even those days flow more smoothly and I’m always glad I thought through things ahead of time.

Now, I know a lot of you right now are thinking, “Wow, she’s really disciplined.  I could never achieve that.”  But let me tell you folks, I was not always this way.  That’s why your comments a few weeks ago blew me away.  I used to be the type who “loved spontaneity.”  And I’m going to get to divine guidance and how that plays in all of this in just a moment.  Right now, I want you to understand this:  If I can do this, anyone can do this!  You can do this, it just takes time.  And getting there is half the fun!  Which brings me to another point.

I didn’t give up having fun, or listening to divine guidance in order to have these plans and schedules the way they are.  In fact, part of my morning ritual is about listening to my higher self and setting the course for my day, changing my original plan if necessary.  And feeling in control while at the same time listening to my inner voice is so much more fun than “flying by the seat of my pants” not knowing if what I’m doing is the right thing to be doing or if I’m just wasting my time.  My time is so much more directed and feels so much more productive this way.

To those who say, “God is in control and it does no good for me to make plans.”  Has it ever occurred to you that God can speak to you more efficiently when you’re quietly planning your day the night before, or even a week in advance, than when you’re in the middle of your day running around like a chicken with it’s head cut off?  Seriously, this is why I’ve learned that when I’m having “one of those days,” I stop and meditate or pray.  Meditation is best because I’m just listening – not asking for anything.  But that’s another post!  Back to this one.

So once I got my ideal day laid out, a pattern developed at the start of each morning that would “jump start” my brain and body into activity.  I came to count on this ritual to get me going and I do it almost 7 days a week.  Are you ready for it?  Here it is.

I get out of bed, go downstairs, and fill the electric teakettle with water.  I plug it in, get down my tea pitcher and place four tea bags in it.  I put on my shoes and go outside to feed the birds.  I come back in, pour the hot water over the tea bags and set the timer on the microwave.  While waiting for the tea to brew, I lay on the floor and stretch.  When the tea is ready, I add sugar, pour myself a glass, (I drink it iced), then head back upstairs to my office.

I pull out three books: Daily Guidance from Your Angels, my daily goal writing journal, and my 2007 goals journal.  I write my life mission/ultimate goal in the journal designated for that.  I open “Daily Guidance . . .” and read the entry where the book falls open.  I take a few minutes to reflect on what I’ve read.  Then I open my goals journal and read every goal, there are now 20, as well as the action steps.  I evaluate what I’ve accomplished, where I am in making progress on each one, and write down any new actions steps I am ready to take – any divine wisdom that has been shared with me since yesterday morning.

That’s it!  That’s my ritual.  It gets me started.  I don’t have to think about it.  One step leads to the next step.  The entire process takes 20 to 30 minutes to complete.  During the process, I usually receive an inspired idea to do that day, or I might just get reassurance that the plan I’ve laid out is the correct one for this day.  My days are laid out both during my weekly planning, and the night before if any changes are required.

What I do next depends upon that day.  Sometimes I get into the shower, sometimes I write, sometimes I meditate.

This ritual gives me a sense of control, wakes me up, and allows for divine guidance all at the same time.  I’m not suggesting that it’s better than anyone else’s ritual, I’m just pointing out that it has created amazing results for me.  When something happens to interrupt my ritual, I feel out of balance and unconnected with my source energy.  But when that happens, I know exactly what to do to get back in balance.

So now it’s your turn.  Even if you do not consider yourself a ritualistic, disciplined person, you would benefit greatly from starting your day in a positive, action-oriented, life-balanced, mission-centered way.  What would that mean for you?

I’d love to hear from you.  Feel free to comment or e-mail me directly with any questions, comments, or concerns.  It’s great when you comment because then everyone who reads this article can learn from your successes, failures, triumphs, or just funny stories.

Have an ideal day!

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Posted under Inspiration, Leadership, Motivation

On a Rampage

Once you become aware that you are the deliberate creator of your life experience and learn how to control your thoughts to get what you want, life starts to get pretty easy.  Until you hit a birthday, especially your 39th birthday, and then those evil little things called doubts start to work their way into your experience.  Well, they did into mine last week anyway.

I’ve been working on a book for quite some time now and just by coincidence, I think, I finished it last week.  I am ready to work on packaging, marketing, etc.  On Saturday, I found myself in a strange mood.  I had not felt this way in a very long time and I do have a lot of other things going on right now so at first I dismissed it as just being busy and perhaps a little overwhelmed.  I thought, “Oh, I’ll have to work on that later.”

Before I knew what was happening, I found myself at the bottom of the Abraham-Hicks Emotional Set-Point Scale – Depression.  Then I felt depressed about being depressed because I have no excuse for being depressed right now since I have so many good things going on in my life.  Also, I have created the way my life is running right now so what could there possibly be to be depressed about?  (This is when men roll their eyes and say, “women!”)

I know myself well enough by now to know that if I can figure out what the underlying problem is, I can fix it, and be on with my day.  So what was causing this despondent mood?

I started going through all the typical emotions: fear, insecurity, anger, discouragement, worry, doubt, disappointment, frustration, irritation, and, the one that usually gets me, impatience.  But nothing fit.  I mean, sure I have some fear, I worry about the marketing strategy of this new book, and it’s safe to say that I experience all of these emotions to some degree on a regular basis.  But it’s nothing that doesn’t flow with the regular course of business and I don’t usually dwell on them.  I identify the feeling, determine whether or not it is serving me in this particular moment, and if it is not, I think better feeling thoughts until the emotion resolves.

All day I worked on this issue, and nothing.  Just could not figure it out.

Then, when I laid down to go to sleep, it hit me.  I needed to go on a rampage:  A rampage of appreciation. I hadn’t been on one for a while – not on paper anyway.  I often say out loud or in my head that I am grateful for things and I still write in my gratefulness journal almost daily, but I had not been on a true Abraham-Hicks rampage of appreciate in about three months.  Let me explain how I go about this extremely valuable process.

Anytime I am upset with some one or some thing, I can appreciate my mood to a higher level by creating, I know this is going to shock you, a list.  If I am a little upset, I create a list of 5 things I appreciate about that person or situation.  If I am moderately upset, I write down 10 things, and if I really need a “rampage,” I create a list of 20, but allow myself to continue if I feel the urge to do so.  I can recall creating lists of over a 100 things I appreciated – that takes a while!

So I got out of bed and, knowing that there were several lists I needed to make, I decided to start with 20 things I appreciate about my life right now.  I am going to share my list with you, not because I think you need to know me that well, but because if you’re not used to doing this, I want you to see that you don’t have to be serious about everything.  You just write down whatever comes into your mind that you truly appreciate.  Here goes.

20 Things I appreciate about my life:

  1. It’s easy.
  2. I can do what I want, when I want.
  3. I have a husband who loves and supports me.
  4. I have everything I need.
  5. I have help.
  6. I have good relationships with my family, including my in-laws.
  7. I truly help people on a daily basis.
  8. I am healthy.
  9. I have plenty to do and time to do it.
  10. I am aware of who I am and what my purpose is.
  11. I have the ability to create whatever I want the knowledge to do so.
  12. I am beautiful and I have great hair.
  13. I found a great hair stylist.
  14. I can read and comprehend extremely difficult subjects.
  15. I am musically talented.
  16. I have two adorable cats.
  17. I can buy whatever I truly want when I want it.
  18. I am truly blessed in all ways.
  19. I have a terrific sense of humor.
  20. I have access to Ambien.

As you can see, the rampage was over, and I was feeling much better at number 18, but I went ahead and completed my desired 20, although I could have written a lot more.  The point is that the mission was accomplished.  No more depression.

Do you also see how some of the items were sort of a “stretch?”  I just wrote whatever popped into my head and felt good.  Now, I’ve been doing this for a while and practicing positive thoughts on a daily basis.  If you’re new to this, you’ll want to be cautious of two things.

First, make sure your statements are affirmative in nature.  For example, instead of, “I don’t have to work for that miserable boss anymore,” use instead, “I have a new boss who is great to work for,” or, “I have my own business.”  State what you appreciate in a manner that you want to continue.

Second, make sure the item you’re writing down feels good to you.  For example, instead of, “At least I don’t have cancer or some incurable disease,” write, “I am glad that this temporary illness has a cure.”  Doesn’t the second statement feel better?  The purpose of this is not to come at from a “things could always be worse” angle, but rather one of “look at how good things are now and how far I’ve come.”

In other words, make sure your focus, when you write your list, is on what you want.  Even though you are writing what you appreciate about your current existence, state it in the positive because you are telling the universe, “I want more of this please,” and the universe will deliver.  Remember the adage, “Be careful what you pray for.”  It’s true.

A lot of people who are new to this concept argue that, “If I appreciate where I am now, or the relationships that I have now, won’t that just keep me in these circumstances and relationships?”  The answer is No, it will not.  All you’re doing, is raising your vibration and lessening the resistance to what you truly want, which is bliss.  Isn’t it?  Don’t we all just want to be blissful?  The best way to vibrate that way right now, so that you can attract more of it, is to become blissful.  A rampage of appreciate does just that.  Try it; you’ll see.

You can subscribe to this blog here.

GET THE BOOK If you’d like to read all my latest success tips and how I’ve applied 20 years of solid business principles and the law of attraction to acquiring the life of my dreams, and am helping others do the same, you’ll want your own copy of Wake Up and Create the Life You Want: A Self-Empowerment Guide. It comes with my free report on “The Science of Getting Rich.”  Both are downloadable, so you get them immediately.

Posted under Inspiration, Law of Attraction, Motivation

It’s All About Balance

I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting lately on life, the law of attraction, success, and the process of achieving one’s desires.  Reflection and reassessment at the end of a project is one of my values, and the end of my career development seminar series just happened to come right before my 39th birthday – so a big double whammy on the reflection and reassessment concept.

There has been so much marketing around “The Secret” and with that a lot of criticism as well.  The movie has created a lot of joy for many people by opening up their minds to the possibility of a life filled with happiness.  Of course, there are always those people who choose to remain closed off from that possibility as well and I have concluded that these people must serve as our universal balance.  I’m starting to believe that God gave us free will for a reason.  (!)

“Balance” is a very emotionally charged word these days – even more so than the phrase “law of attraction.”  Everyone is seeking balance.  But what does that mean exactly?

I attended a meeting last year where one woman was adamant that we divide our days and weeks equally among our family and career.  She kept talking about how much our children need us, so when I asked her how to balance my days since I have no children, her response was, “You need to have children.”

Obviously, I “considered the source” and moved on to meeting someone else at that event.

I haven’t discussed balance a whole lot on this blog, but I have talked enough about determining your values, determining your top 20, etc, that I think most of you know I believe balance is very much an individual reflection.  The only thing universal about balance is that we all need it and are constantly striving for it whether we realize it or not.  It is much like success; we all want it, but we each have a different definition of it.  Does that make sense?

I am not going to give you a “how-to” pitch today, because finding balance is such a personal matter.  But I do want to leave you with an analogy that describes what most of you do when it comes to utilizing the law of attraction or finding balance.

Let’s say that you put out the intention of having a nice dinner.  Your focus is not on preparing the dinner, although you could.  You’d prefer to just sit down at a table, and be served a delicious meal.  So you decide to go to your favorite restaurant where you can order exactly what you want and the service is always impeccable.

When you arrive, you are seated at a nice table with a view, and the menu is placed in front of you.  As you peruse the menu and prices, the server gets your drink.  Eventually, the server asks for your order.  You say, “I’d like the beef tenderloin, medium, with the parmesan potatoes, and a salad with your house dressing.”  But you don’t just stop there, you go on to say, “Oh, and tell the chef I’ll be in the kitchen in two minutes to prepare my meal.”

Have you ever done that in a restaurant?  Of course not – because you know you’re going to be paying a certain amount of money for the preparation of your food. Your only “work” is to enjoy it.

However, have you ever done that in life?  I think you have.  We become so focused on controlling every aspect of our lives and we believe that hard work goes with each and every aspect, that without knowing it, we are paying for our meal and preparing it, too.  Think about it.  Do you catch yourself cleaning the house just before the cleaning service arrives?

Take a moment to become aware of your breathing.  Do you breathe in, breathe in, and breathe in again?  No, you breathe in, and breathe out.  Breathe in, and breathe out.  Breathe in, and then breathe out.  You could say, that our breathing is “balanced” couldn’t you?

It has been said many times that giving and receiving are two sides of the same coin.  Giving and receiving are actually polar opposites that balance each other.  When you’re trying to attract something into your life, start thinking about what you can give.  The two don’t have to go hand in hand because, to the universe, giving is giving and getting is getting.  So whatever you have to give, if you focus on doing that to the best of your ability, with the intention of adding value to the universe, you will get whatever it is that you want.  The universe is all about balance.  Breathe in.  Breathe out.  Give. Receive.  Work.  Relax.  Family.  Career.  Receive.  Give.  Relax.  Work.  See?  Balance.

You can subscribe to this blog here.

GET THE BOOK If you’d like to read all my latest success tips and how I’ve applied 20 years of solid business principles and the law of attraction to acquiring the life of my dreams, and am helping others do the same, you’ll want your own copy of Wake Up and Create the Life You Want: A Self-Empowerment Guide. It comes with my free report on “The Science of Getting Rich.”  Both are downloadable, so you get them immediately.

Posted under Inspiration, Leadership, Motivation

What I’ve Learned in 39 Years

Today is my birthday.  It is the first day of my 40th year of life and I’ve never been more excited.  I’ve learned a lot during the last 39 years and  . . . What?  Oh, what have I learned?  Well, let me share some of my most valuable lessons with you.  I feel a blog post coming on, and, my all-time favorite – a list!!!   Here goes.

  1. Share your belongings; others will share with you.
  2. Take risks; it’s the only way to grow.
  3. Laugh and have fun as often as you can.
  4. Trust your instincts; they never fail you.
  5. Be silent to learn who you really are.
  6. Ask for guidance, and accept it.
  7. Surround yourself with a positive environment.
  8. Create the life you want; don’t try to live for someone else.
  9. Be unique; be yourself.
  10. Keep a list – for everything!
  11. Look your best, everyday, you’re worth it.
  12. Control your weight, so it doesn’t control you.
  13. Eat delicious food; only what is “worth the calories.”
  14. Let go of judging others; focus on your own joy.
  15. There is no hurry.
  16. Smile.
  17. Stretch your muscles and your mind to remain flexible in all ways.
  18. Copy genius; create abundantly.
  19. Never fear; ALL IS WELL.
  20. Look for the good in all things, every day.
  21. Pray or meditate daily.
  22. Follow your dreams, as well as your awakenings.
  23. Be thankful and accept blessings.
  24. Visualize your desired outcomes.
  25. Be playful.
  26. Have faith.
  27. Control your thoughts; focus on truth.
  28. Find your purpose.
  29. Set clear, definite goals.
  30. Act on your inspirations.
  31. You are an example to others, whether you know it, like it, or not.  Make it a good one.
  32. Reach for joy in every moment.
  33. One person can make a difference.
  34. If it doesn’t feel right to you, it isn’t right for you.
  35. Keep in touch with your friends.
  36. Perception is not reality.
  37. Good things come to those who accept them.
  38. True love does exist.
  39. Pets are wonderful.

Interestingly, 39 items.  I am happy, healthy, financially secure, and loved.  What will I learn this year?  Hmmmmmmm.  Stay tuned . . .

You can subscribe to this blog here.

GET THE BOOK If you’d like to read all my latest success tips and how I’ve applied 20 years of solid business principles and the law of attraction to acquiring the life of my dreams, and am helping others do the same, you’ll want your own copy of Wake Up and Create the Life You Want: A Self-Empowerment Guide. It comes with my free report on “The Science of Getting Rich.”  Both are downloadable, so you get them immediately.

Posted under Education, Inspiration, Leadership, Motivation, Weight Loss

Manager of Life

Have you ever taken time to think of yourself as a manager?  I wanted to title this article, “Become a better manager,” but I knew that most people would think, “Oh, this one’s not for me; I’m not a manager.”  Yes you are, because everyone is a manager.

Think about it.  If you’re a parent, you must manage a household and your child(ren.)  That gets a lot of you right there.  But even the single person living alone must manage his or her household and a job.  If you have your own business, you’re definitely a manager.  Even children are managers of their time, schedules, friends, school, play activities, etc.  So wouldn’t it make sense to spend some time on becoming a better manager?  Let’s talk about that today.

One of the toughest aspects of being a manager is dealing with people.  We struggle with this as children, teenagers, young adults, and into maturity.  Since there are so many subjects around being an effective manager, today I’m going to stick with ways of managing people.

Steve Chandler says that you cannot manage people, you can only manage results, and while I agree that we certainly cannot control people, no matter how much we try, I believe there’s a little more to it than just managing results.  I’ve also learned, through managing my husband’s dental practice, that trying to get results from people can be impossible if you don’t first learn how to work through people.

The first aspect I want to address is our own expectations as managers.  Most of the time, we expect employees to share the same passion and sense of responsibility that we do as managers or owners.  We expect coaches and teachers to care as much about our children as we do.  We expect friends and family to share our interests and values.  That’s not always possible.  In fact, you’re lucky when you find someone who cares as much about anything as you do.

To get around this, companies will offer incentive programs, with the idea that if we can’t get the employee to earnestly care about the business, we will motivate him or her through profit sharing.  We tip people and offer money “under the table” in attempts to persuade them to do their best with our best interests at heart.  Sometimes these systems work, but not always.

The final approach is the “laying down the law,” where the employee is told to “shape up or ship out.”  We offer ultimatums – do it my way, or get out of my life.  More often than not, the individual leaves and you, the manager, are stuck with hiring and training someone new.  That’s probably for the best – for everyone – but if you find yourself in this situation frequently, it can become very frustrating.  So let’s discuss some ways to avoid turnover, whether we’re talking about employees, your children’s friends, soccer coach, hair stylist, store clerk, mechanic, etc.

One of the best ways I have found to work with and through people is to understand their personalities.  I specifically like the DiSC Personal Profile System.  My husband and I learned this system about 8 years ago and have come to rely on it when hiring employees, and have found it extremely useful in our personal relationships as well.  Let me give you an overview.

According to DiSC, people fall into one of four primary personality dimensions:

D – Dominance.  These people are highly driven, often considered difficult to work with, but they get the job done.  Our society is as advanced as it is because of “D’s.”  They are quick to make decisions, they accept challenges readily, and have no trouble taking authority.  They are very direct, and have no problem with confrontation.  D’s are “natural born” leaders.

I – Influence.  These people are very well-liked.  They are upbeat and positive, great speakers with excellent communication skills.  They tend to be teachers, motivational speakers, salespeople, and entertainers.  Everyone loves an I.  They are good at generating enthusiasm and practicing “non-judgment.”

S – Steadiness.  These people are very cooperative and good team players.  They like predictable, stable results and work.  They have an extreme amount of patience, displaying loyalty, and love helping others.  They are “keepers of the peace,” and often become health care workers.  They desire to keep their routines without much change, and they do not like conflict.

C – Conscientiousness.  These people are diligent workers who strive to ensure quality and accuracy in everything they are involved with.  They are often described as “slow, but excellent,” in what they do.  They like to “think things through” and have high standards for themselves and others.  They are very reserved, both personally and professionally, and as a result, are often viewed as “shy.”  They are the computer programmers and accountants in our lives.
So, have you pegged yourself yet?  Most people can right away, and while we all have some aspects of all the personalities, we tend to steer toward one or two.  My husband is a Dc, meaning that D is his prominent type, with C being a significant, although not as strong, influence.  I am an Idc, with a very low S component.

If you take a few minutes to think about the people in your life, you’ll quickly be able to put them into one of these four types.  Of course, the only way to know for sure is to take the test, but here’s the thing:  we are different in different situations.  So the person who is the strong D at work, might become an S when coaching his son’s little league team.  So when you’re trying to get along with someone, you can only respond to that part of his or her personality that is coming out during those times.

We have found in business, that it is important to put people where they belong, or where they want to be, so to speak.  The same goes for people you “employ” to do work for you, or people who volunteer such as with church or children’s groups.  The job duties should fit the personality of the person seeking to fulfill those duties, or problems will arise.

Let’s take a look at what each personality type is looking for and how that might fit into your life.

Dominant types love power and authority.  So using the expression, “You’re the boss,” works well at influencing this person.  They are they type who can be assigned a task and left on their own to come up with the means to accomplish it.  They do not like to have someone looking over their shoulder and with good reason, they don’t need someone looking over their shoulder.  They don’t necessarily need to be recognized or praised often, but it does work well if they are the only person in the company with their particular duties, and everyone knows it.  They love a challenge and love to “change things up” a lot.  D’s like direct answers, so a quick Yes or No or as direct as possible is preferred, otherwise, they will get bored with you and move on.  They have a lot of energy and like to get things done as quickly as possible so they can move on to the next task.

When dealing with D’s on a personal level, you must be direct with them and stand up to them when necessary.  They are great to have around, because they are so self-motivated.  But they can be difficult when it comes to getting their own way.  They sometimes forget that other people have needs, but once you point that out to them, they will usually back down.  Recognizing their authority and giving them the power in the situation will go a long way.

Influencers like to have input on all levels and have a strong desire to be popular.  Publicly recognizing them for their abilities and effort will go a long way in getting along with this personality type.  Problems with I’s usually arise when time is of the essence, because I’s like to put things off until the last minute.  If you’re trying to work with an I, and you’re the type who likes to work ahead of schedule, you’ll become frustrated quickly!  Getting agreement from this person on an intermedieate deadline would be of tremendous value to both of you.  These people are the life of the party, but don’t expect a lot of attention to detail.

When dealing with I’s on a personal level, listen to their side of the story, and let them come up with possible solutions to the problem.  Most of the time, that’s all you will need to do.

Steadiness types like to maintain the status quo, so if change is on your agenda, be prepared!  The best plan would be to implement change gradually, and give valid reasons for why the changes are taking place.  While they will give you the clothes off their backs when “on duty,” these people do not like to take their work home with them, so don’t expect it.

When dealing with S’s on a personal level, offer sincere appreciation for their work.  Never confront an S in front of others, and be sure to separate their work performance from their self-worth.  Be prepared for tears, as they do not like confrontation at all.

Conscientious types often come across as being non-approachable.  In reality, they might be the most approachable because they remain calm, cool, and collected, and truly desire to do their best, so input is generally accepted.  If they are doing something wrong they want to know about it, but they too, like S’s, prefer to have such confrontations in private.  C’s like to have control over their environment and, as such, are usually organized and systematic.

When dealing with C’s on a personal level, give recognition for specific skills and accomplishments, and give specific suggestions for improvement.  They do not tolerate conflict, so approaching the situation from a perspective of “improving the system,” works best.
The best way to use this information is to think right now of a situation that you need to confront, determine the person’s personality type, and brainstorm ways, based on the information I’ve given you, to tackle the problem at hand.

From a preventive approach, we hire people for my husband’s dental practice who like paying attention to details, and who are good at working with others.  We prefer to create win-win situations by selecting employees with personality types that would be suitable for the position available, usually an S or a C.  Every time we make an exception, we regret it.

Many times we choose people for certain roles in our lives based on the “vibe” we think we’re getting from them.  “I really like this person, she’s a good person,” we say, forgetting that she’s completely wrong for the task at hand.  Then we become upset when our expectations are not met.  The person performing the work is miserable, but doesn’t want to quit.  So we put up with each other when everyone would be happier if we could just change the nature of the relationship, or get out of it altogether.

What I mostly want you to get out of this article, is that we all have specific tendencies and needs.  If you figure out what the people in your life need to feel their best, and can figure out a way to give it to them, you can keep your life running on a more harmonious level than you previously thought possible.  We are all managers of our own lives.  Having the skills and knowledge to work with and through others will make you a more successful, happier person.

Good luck on your next encounter.  Feel free to comment or e-mail me with any questions.

You can subscribe to this blog here.

GET THE BOOK If you’d like to read all my latest success tips and how I’ve applied 20 years of solid business principles and the law of attraction to acquiring the life of my dreams, and am helping others do the same, you’ll want your own copy of Wake Up and Create the Life You Want: A Self-Empowerment Guide.  It comes with my free report on “The Science of Getting Rich.”

Posted under Education, Leadership, Motivation

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