Debra Moorhead . com

In 18 Ways to Jump-Start Your Life, I promised to share with you the Excel spreadsheet I use to track my time in an effort to make certain that I am utilizing my time in the best way possible.  Obviously, you’ll need some instructions as well.

The spreadsheet itself is not that complicated, here’s a screenshot for an example.  Obviously, Excel automatically calculates the Totals for me, all I have to do is inset the Number of Hours Planned, and the Actual time spent each day.

The more important and more difficult aspects of time management are determining those tasks and activities that will contribute the most to your productivity, and how much time to spend doing them. Here is how I figured that out.

In How to Maximize Your Personal Productivity, I explain the Pareto principle, which actually has nothing to do with time management, but we’ve stolen it and applied it in just about every other business paradigm, why not time management?  It does seem to work for a lot of us.  The basis of the Pareto principle as it would apply to time management is this:  20% of the things you do will contribute to 80% of your success.  Also, 20% of the time you work contributes to 80% of your income. This applies whether you work for yourself, or someone else.  Therefore, if you’re not getting the success you want, evaluate that 20% and you will find the error of you ways.  Here’s an example.

For the purposes of this article, let’s say that you work for yourself.  After all, We Are All Self-Employed.  What is your mission?  What is your ultimate goal?  These two items should be diametrically related and will determine your top 20 tasks.  My mission is to motivate, educate, and inspire others to be their best through my writing, speaking, and consulting.  Therefore, my top 20 tasks and activities are those things which relate directly to writing, speaking, and consulting, in such ways that they motivate, educate, and inspire others.  In fact, since speaking and consulting require so much writing, if I did nothing else with my top 20 time except write top quality articles and speeches, I’d be on track.  Now of course I still have to market myself and do a lot of other things to be successful, but if I don’t write, there’s nothing to market.  Get the picture?

If you’re in sales, your top 20 activities might include calling on customers, acquiring product knowledge, providing customer service, returning phone calls to customers, etc.  Anything that helps you make a sale.  In your business, who is your customer?  What does that customer want?  Focus 20% of your efforts on providing that and you’ve got it.

If you work for someone else, your company’s mission statement should give you a clue as to where you should be spending that top 20% of your time.  I say “should” because I’ve witnessed a lot of companies who don’t live up to their mission statements.  But if you were to start adapting your daily activities to match the company mission statement, you might be surprised at how quickly you start to move up, that is, get promoted, and start earning more money.

Now let’s determine how much time you need to spend each week on these top 20 tasks and activities.   If you work for someone else, it might be fairly simple to figure this out.  If you are expected to work a standard 40-hour week, then 8 hours of that time should be spent on mission-related activities.  “That’s only one day,” you’re probably thinking.  I know.  Try it.  I bet it will be more difficult than you think.  If you spread that out over one 5-day week, it would require 96 minutes per day. For you salespeople out there; do you spend 96 minutes per day contacting potential new clients?  No, drive time doesn’t count.  I’m talking on the phone, or person-to-person. 

For the entrepreneur, it’s a little different.  To me, my life is my work and my work is my life.  It all flows together.  I love my work and I love my life.  This is the way life should be for everyone.  I’m not one of those people who believes that everyone should be self-employed, because I know that not everyone is cut out for it, for a lot of reasons.  But I do believe everyone should love what they do to make a living for themselves.  If you’re not one of those people but would like to be, read How to Decide What to Do with the Rest of Your Life. 

How I determined the amount of time I need to spend in top 20 activities was this.  There are 10,080 minutes in every week.  I allow 3,360 for sleeping.  That’s an average of 8 hours per night.  That leaves 6,720 minutes available in waking hours.  Twenty percent of that is 1,344 minutes, which translates into 22.4 hours.  I set my goal to work 24 hours in my top 20 activities every week.  Why 24?  The extra minutes gives me a little leeway in case I fall short.  I plan for 24, but try to make sure I come in at 22.4.  That’s technically 3 full working days per week.  Sounds easy, doesn’t it?  I thought so too.  But you know what?  It’s easy to major in minors and do a lot of little things that feel like work, and are a lot of work, but accomplish little in the way of my ultimate goal and mission. 

As for the tracking part of this, that’s probably the most important thing you could do to rev up your life and your career. When I started tracking my time using Excel, I fell grossly short each week.  I kept busy, but not with the right tasks.  I was majoring in minors and the spreadsheet was the proof.  Once I started evaluating my time on a daily basis, things really started coming together for me.  Each week, during my weekly planning time, I review my strategic plan, (which I probably need to detail for you on how to do, huh?), and create a list of my top 20 tasks for that week.  I review my schedule and roughly plan when each item will get accomplished and how much of my time it will require.  Some days I have to travel and know that I will not get anything in my top 20 accomplished, so I have to make those hours up on another day.  I try to leave at least one day completely free each week.  This method makes me focus and keep my priorities straight.  Once you get the hang of it, it’s simple.   

This method also makes decisions easier.  If something comes up or someone asks me to do something, all I have to do is determine if I have time based on how I’m coming along with my top 20.  If it’s Wednesday and I’ve already worked my 24 hours, I’ll put myself aside and do something for someone else.  If not, I stick to my guns and simply explain that I can’t right now.  You simply must stay true to yourself in all of this.  If you don’t, you won’t be any good to any one.  The greatest gift you have to give is your happiness.  Use this for that purpose.  Trust me; it works.

In a future post, I will go into detail on personal strategic planning.  Register now if you want to be sure not to miss it.

One of my favorite techniques for creating clarity on my day-to-day activates is to imagine that my life is already exactly how I want it.  I’m not just talking about appreciating where we are at the moment, although that’s a good practice, too, but I’m talking about “acting as if.” 

In the book, The Success Principles(TM): How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be, Jack Canfield tells a story about bank teller who dressed a little better than the other tellers.  He interacted with customers in a similar fashion to the way the branch manager interacted with customers.  Eventually, he became the branch manager.

You can take this “acting as if” exercise as far as you want and this is where it helps me.  You see, of all my dreams and goals, the greatest feeling that I long for is leisure.  Don’t get me wrong, I love to work – especially the kind of work I’m doing now on a daily basis, which is blogging, writing seminars, and creating and delivering speeches.  But I hate the feeling that most people have when they work – the feeling of being rushed because there’s never enough time to do everything, feeling overwhelmed by task lists and deadlines, feeling guilty when you’re doing one thing because you feel like you should be doing another.

I used to accept those feelings as a part of life.  “That’s adulthood,” I would think to myself.  Well, guess what – I was wrong.  Now, some careers put you in that state of constant motion just by their nature.  The healthcare industry is one of those fields.  However, even if you have a job that demands a hectic pace, you can still control your private time.

For me, the majority of my days are spent writing – something.  Lots of things really – you just never know with me and sometimes neither do I!  As any writer knows, it’s easy to get side-tracked with a million other little things to do besides your top priority – writing.  On the flip side, I sometimes use writing to avoid doing other little things that I should be doing, like blog marketing and monetization.  So how do you find clarity and focus on what is most important right now?

My favorite way is to “pretend” that I am already an outrageously successful writer and speaker.  I’m making a million dollars a year, or more, have purchased the home of my dreams, drive a nice car, etc.  Then I ask, “What would that Debra be doing right now?” 

The answers are amazing, but I always trust them.  This morning, my “future self” told me to get on the treadmill.  At first I argued explaining that I needed to practice my speech for tomorrow and that with everything else I had to do, the treadmill would just have to wait until tomorrow or the next day.  My future self reminded me that the reason I am walking for one hour three times a week is so that I will be in good shape when I speak.  No one likes to listen to an out-of-breath speaker.  Then, that voice said, “Practice your speech while you’re on the treadmill.”  Okay!

What a fantastic idea – must be why I’m much richer in the future!  But it’s not just listening to and getting inspired ideas from that voice that makes me love this technique so much, there’s more.

When I’m feeling tense, anxious, or angry about something that I know I shouldn’t be but just can’t seem to let it go, I get in that future self frame of mind and ask, “Is this important to you now?”  If it’s not important to my future, it’s not important at all.  If it is important, I take action immediately so that it no longer clutters up my mind, and my day.

Then there are those days when I simply don’t know what to do with myself.  There are lots of tasks and work to do, but I don’t know where to begin.  So again, the question I ask is, “What would my future self be doing right now?”  Again, I do whatever I’m told – I guess you could say whatever I feel inspired to do, but it’s not a cop out.  Sometimes I do much more difficult, meaningful, powerful, and worthy tasks than I would have otherwise.  Sometimes I plow through all the little tasks that have created clutter.  Sometimes, I take a highly productive hour of solitude.  The answer is always right, and the best part is, I get that sense of leisure that I long for.  I can work 10 hours in one day, write three blog posts, two speeches, and work on an up-coming seminar and feel like the luckiest person alive because it’s all been so relaxed.  In many ways, I’m living my future life in the present and I believe there are a few books out there on this subject!

How would you act and what tasks would you actually perform if you were already a straight-A student, business owner, top salesperson for your company, international consultant, famous motivational speaker, world-class athlete, best-selling author, or renowned actor or musician?  What would the successful you be doing right now?

One of my favorite people and dearest friends, Trish Rubin, has just released her new book, Trish Rubin’s New York Minute: Sixty-Second Tips to Megawatt Business Power-Event Networking.  Trish is truly a networking genius and I can hardly wait for my autographed copy to arrive.  She’s so natural, friendly, well-dressed, and just easy to be around.  Know what I mean?  We could all learn a lot from her and she’s making it easy for us by writing this book. 

I asked if she would be willing to share a few tips from her book with my readers and she was kind enough to indulge me.  Here is what Trish wants you to know.

Tip #1:  Do a quick internet search of the sponsoring networking event before attending. Be current on what’s happening with them. Use search engine alerts to catch up on what’s current with the organization. Keep a desktop folder about the organization to review before going. Know who is sponsoring…who is speaking…who are their partners…their mission and values. All of this helps with informed “small talk” related to the event!

Tip #2: If you are being sent to the event, make sure to get a “sound bite” from your supervisor before you go. Carry a message as you arrive, ” Ms.____ sends regards, and wishes she could be here…would you make any suggestion who I might speak to since this is my first event?” Then use the info you mined from your supervisor with the people you are connected with!

Tip #3: Get to all events early. You’ll feel that you are the host! You get easily introduced to the people who sponsored the event if you come early, and you send the message that this event is important which makes you seem respectful and connected. And you get to select who you want to talk to as you “read the room” as people arrive!

Trish Rubin, M.Ed./ MGA
The Edventures Group
Services and Products for Relational Business Success
“We Create Learning Journeys in a New York MINUTE!”
160 West End Avenue 16a
New York, New York 10023
212 600 1421 (Office/Fax)
917 294 7527 (Mobile)

One thing that has always impressed me about Trish Rubin is that she’s not one of those people who attend networking events and is obvious about “working the room.”  She makes sincere connections and builds genuine relationships.  She makes good eye contact, which I’m sure she’ll talk about, and knows when to approach, and when to back off. 

I’ll give a more thorough review of the book once I’ve read it, but if you struggle in networking situations, or would just like to present your best self at your next event, you’ll be glad you read, Trish Rubin’s New York Minute.  Also available in audio version: Networking in a New York Minit: A Survival Guide for Event Networking

We’ve all been there.  A little depressed, but not clinically so.  A little overwhelmed, but not all that much.  A little tired, for no good reason.  If you’re at a low point, maybe it’s time to take a step back, reassess, and take charge of where you’re heading.  Reenergize with these time-tested and proven tips and techniques.

1. Get back to the basics.  What are your values?  When was the last time you sat down and reviewed them?  Are they still in line with who you want to become?  If you’re not sure, perhaps a review of Wake Up and Create the Life You Want will help you.
2. Remember your mission.  If you don’t have a mission statement for your life, read How to Write Your Personal Mission Statement.
3. De-clutter.  Again, back to the basics.  Eliminate all the mind-cluttering junk around you and feel your spirit soar!
4. Set new goals.  Maybe you’re bored.  We’ve all been there.  Lou Holtz said, “If you are bored with life, if you don’t get up every morning with a burning desire to do things – you don’t have enough goals.”  Try setting some new goals knowing that you can have, do, or be anything you want.  Take any old, out-dated goals off your list; at this point, they might just be clutter.  For a step-by-step process, read How to Set Goals You Can Actually Achieve.
5. Start something new.  Join your local Toastmasters club.  Go snowboarding with a church group.  Get involved in a local program even if it just vaguely interests you.  You might be surprised at how much helping others helps you!
6. Be positive.  This seems obvious, but when things have come to a lull, you’re probably surrounded by some negativity and could use a good cleaning out.  Try Surrounding Yourself with a Positive Environment for a good mental dusting.
7. Re-think your To-Do list.  I’m a big lover of lists, but many people use them to their disadvantage.  Too many list items will make you feel overwhelmed and out of control.  Make sure every item on your list is directly related to your values, goals, and mission.  Anything that isn’t needs to be delegated, or just eliminated all together.
8. Make time for yourself.  Start saying no to obligations that don’t fulfill you personally.  The greatest gift you have to give is your happiness.  Take time regularly throughout your day for a “happiness check.”  If each woman would make the time every day for One Hour of Solitude, well, there’s no telling what we could achieve!
9. Keep track of your time.  It’s difficult to know where you need to make changes if you don’t know where all the hours are going now.  I use an Excel spreadsheet to make sure my days are spent the way I want.  I spend 20 percent of my time on my top payoff activities.  You’d be surprised at how much this helps.  You might also be surprised to find out that you are majoring in minors – doing all the small tasks that are getting you nowhere.  In a future post, I’ll share with you my spreadsheet and the analysis I use to determine my top 20 activities.  Register now so you don’t miss it!
10. Take it one step at a time.  Every accomplishment starts somewhere.  If you performed just one task, no matter how small, every day toward your biggest goal, you will eventually attain that goal.  It’s a must.  For inspiration to get you started, read You Can Change the World, One Day, One Task at a Time.
11. Keep your goals to yourself. This is very important.  You need to be able to see and read your goals several times a day.  I use Outlook and keep them in a separate category that I pull up three times a day.  But unless you know your friends, co-workers, and family will be supportive, don’t tell anyone what your goals are.  Right now you’re probably thinking, “Why, Debra?  That goes against what almost every other goals guru says.”  I know, but here’s the reason.  Have you ever told someone about a goal you were excited about only to have him or her burst your bubble with comments like, “Yeah, right.  I can just see you doing that,” or some other negative comment?  Brian Tracy says that he has researched what happens to people after leaving one of his seminars and finds that the number one reason participants don’t make any progress toward their dream is because they shared it with someone else who discouraged them.  Don’t take that chance.  Keep it to yourself. 
12. Slow down.  I know you want what you want now.  I’ve been there.  But tackling things slowly and consistently can be much more productive than running around like a chicken with its head cut off, making yourself overwhelmed, and tired.  Don’t get me wrong, enthusiasm is good.  Just remember to do your strategic planning so that you’re not spinning your wheels.  When you’re feeling low, take a day to just stop, breathe, and plan. 
13. Read.  This is a technique that always works for me.  Anytime I feel like I need a jump-start, I get out a book.  Reading energizes and motivates me.  If I need motivation to do something in particular, reading books or online articles about that particular subject always gets me moving.  For a list of my favorites, see my Amazon store.
14. Get a new hobby or rediscover an old one.  What gives you inexplicable energy?  Gardening and cooking do it for me.  I can’t explain it.  You would think that something as physically exhausting as gardening, especially the way I do it, would be an energy drain.  It’s not.  I love it and when I finally come inside, I feel great.  Especially mentally.  Gourmet cooking is the same, and much easier to do in the winter than gardening!  I think it’s the creativity and success, not to mention the good food automatically built in to the equation that makes up for the hard work.  Yes, it takes some effort to get started, but don’t all worthwhile endeavors? 
15. Get rid of energy “vampires.”  If there is someone in your life who drains the energy out of you, you must terminate that relationship.  Hopefully that person is not your spouse because that would make things a lot more difficult. (And I’m not going there.)  Here’s what I’m talking about.  I had a friend once that I met at work.  She was very nice and we hit it off great since we seemed to have a lot in common.  However, she started using me as her sounding board for her life complaints.  She began calling me every day with complaints about work, her other friends, her husband, her father and stepmother, her siblings, you name it.  Finally, I stopped answering the phone, and did not return her calls.  After four weeks, she got the hint.  Was it difficult to do that?  Yes.  Do I ever regret it?  No. 
16. Find your passion.  Are you working in a job or career field you hate?  Maybe it’s time to get out.  A recent Gallup poll said that a full one third of Americans would be happier in another job.  Are you doing what you love to do?  For more direction on this topic, read How to Decide What to Do with the Rest of Your Life.
17. Join others with similar interests.  Just like reading about a subject can get you going, so can spending time with other people who share your passion and enthusiasm for a particular career or hobby.  You could sign up for gardening or cooking classes, join a gym, or sign up for basketball with your local church.  If you’re a member of a professional organization, see they offer mastermind group setups.  Online forums are a great way to share ideas, get help, and meet people with similar interests.  Replacing the energy vampires with subject enthusiasts is a great way to give yourself a new outlook on life.
18. Appreciate where you are now.  No matter what is going on in  your life, if you have the ability to read this post, there is something you have to be grateful for.  What is it?  Great.  What else? Create a list of everything you love and appreciate in your life right now.  You can write about people, things, relationships – whatever comes to mind.  Right down what you love about it, why you love it, and what it adds to your life experience.  When you’re finished, you just might not need the previous 17 items in this list!

Thanks for reading today.  I’d love to hear from you.  What helps you jump-start your life?

I’ve come across a lot of women lately who say they don’t like shopping.  What’s up with that?  I know it can be hectic and frustrating, but if you know a few tips and tricks, it can be a wonderful time.  Here are a few things I’ve learned.

1. Know what you need.  When shopping for clothing, it’s extremely important first to know what you’re looking for.  Take stock of your closet.  Do you need a particular item to complete an outfit?  Keep an ongoing list in your purse so that you always know what you need. 
2. Know your style.  Just out to buy one complete outfit?  What’s your clothing style?  I’ve found it works best to stay with a few chains and specialty shops where I know the return policy and that always carry my “style.”  Choose a few franchises that always help you convey the message you want to get across with your clothing.  I have a lot of luck at Talbot’s and Dillard’s. 
3. Remember your budget.  Fall and winter clothing costs more than spring and summer, so allocate more of your annual budget to those items, and always buy quality.  The more expensive items will usually be worth it in the long run, but don’t over extend yourself.  I never buy “cheap” clothes because I know they’ll come apart in the washer after the first wearing.  Also, I find it more difficult to have the confidence I need in “cheap” clothes.  Now, don’t get me wrong here.  Last winter I found Arthur Levine suits on sale, in my size, marked down from $400 or more to around $40 at Dillard’s.  I bought 6 suits that day, and they still look brand new.  These clothes are not cheap, I just got lucky that day.  This is one reason it pays to go shopping frequently – that’s the only way to run into deals like that.
4. Know your weaknesses.  Some people are great at buying summer clothes but not items for fall, or they buy pants all the time and no tops.  Be aware of your habits and maintain balance.  Do the same with color.  A couple of years ago I decided I had too much black in my closet, but when I went shopping, the only items I was drawn to were black.  I deliberately made myself buy others colors (that coordinated with black.)
5. Arrive early.  If you truly don’t like shopping, don’t go on the weekend!  Saturdays and Sunday afternoons are the busiest times and the most frustrating both for getting parking spaces and for getting around inside the store.  When possible, shop early in the week, and early in the day.
6. Monitor your mood.  Don’t try to shop when you’re hungry, tired, upset, or depressed.  You’ll either not find anything, or end up with buyer’s remorse.  Take breaks when you need to “regroup,” and eat to keep your energy level up.
7. Dress for success.  Shopping success that is. Wear an outfit similar to the one you need to purchase.  If you’re buying a new suit, you can get away with wearing jeans or pants by taking along your pantyhose and a pair of heels.  Be sure to wear makeup and style your hair.  If you look bad or feel bad, you won’t like yourself in anything.
8. If you love it, buy it.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had non-buyer’s remorse.  I find the perfect item, but for some reason talk myself out of it.  “Oh, that seems a little too pricey; I’ll wait until it goes on sale.”  Then it’s not available in my size when it goes on sale. 
9. If in doubt, take it home.  I used to have a “policy” that I didn’t buy anything I didn’t absolutely fall in love with at the store.  However, during that period, I had almost no clothes!  Sometimes an outfit will look better, (or worse), under different light or with different shoes or with different accessories - you get the drift.  It’s also a good idea to get a second opinion from your husband, boyfriend, or best friend.  Just make sure the store has a return policy you can abide by.
10. Use the internet.  If you have only the weekends to shop and find yourself frequently frustrated, purchasing items you don’t like just to get out of the store, consider shopping online.  Almost all major retailers now have online services and you can definitely return what you don’t like.  Yes, you will likely have to pay shipping charges, but when you factor in the cost of gas, travel time, and your sanity, it’s probably worth it.

As for the trip itself, whether online or regular brick-and-mortar, remember to take lots of breaks, drink plenty of water, and be prepared to go back to a store if necessary.  You can “hold” items you’re unsure of, and create “wish lists” online.  This could be some valuable “alone” time for you if you treat yourself well and put the fun back in shopping.

No, it’s not easy, but WOW, is it worth it!  Imagine a day when you awaken in a great mood from getting a good night’s rest.  You get into the shower and perform your usual morning routines while singing gleefully.  From your closet, you are easily able to choose what feels like the perfect outfit for the day.  You enjoy a pleasant, non-rushed breakfast.  You get to work and everything goes your way.  You’re happy; you have no trouble keeping a smile on your face and greeting everyone around you cheerfully.  Bottom line:  You shine, and everyone notices.

Okay, before you start sending me hate e-mail and comments listing all the reasons why you can’t, (and believe me, I’ve heard them all already anyway), give me a couple of paragraphs to remind you why you should.  After that, if you’re convinced, we’ll discuss how.

Let’s consider the alternative.  You jump out of bed after hitting the snooze button five times realizing that you’re now running late and will have to take some shortcuts.  Maybe that means not shaving your legs this morning, or maybe that means skipping a shower altogether.  Still running late, you decide to skip breakfast, or have breakfast in the car since you have a long commute.  You arrive at work at 8 AM on the dot, stained from breakfast, a little smelly from not having showered and feeling frazzled from all the rushing around.  But you get right to work and soon forget about your harried morning.  Around 10 AM, you take a break, go to the bathroom, look in the mirror, and WHOAH!  Where did that person come from?  Is that you?  It couldn’t be!  You go back to your desk, grab your purse containing a brush, some makeup, and a tiny can of hairspray, and try to salvage what you can of your looks.  “Oh, well.  It’s just one day,” you think to yourself.  “I’ll do better tomorrow.”

At noon, your boss brings a new potential client to your office and wants to know if you’d be interested in having lunch with them to discuss your work on the latest big project.  You notice he hesitates after seeing how you look, so you make up an excuse of having too much work to do and politely decline.  Meanwhile, he asks one of your co-workers, (who always looks great because she must have all the time in the world to get ready in the morning), she accepts, they land the new account, and she gets a promotion. 

Now you’re upset because you’ve worked for the company longer, you’ve been more hands-on with this project, you know more people, and you have acquired more business than most of your co-workers.  “I shouldn’t be judged based on how I look,” you think.  Have you ever stopped to consider how your looks affect your performance?

In the first paragraph, I had you imagine a day where you were perfectly dressed, feeling fantastic, and everything was going your way.  Have you ever considered how all of these things work together?  Did you notice that I started with waking up after a good night’s rest? 

Now, I’m not trying to imply that all this is easy, but presenting your best self every day is a skill that you can develop.  With a little planning and motivation, you too will be living a joyous life.  Let’s get started.

1. Lose the attitude.  Stop thinking that looking your best every day is just for women without children, women without jobs, or women who can afford the luxury.  There are plenty of women who have children, work full-time, started out making little money, who still manage to look like they just stepped out of a magazine.  Why do they go to all the trouble?  Because they know it’s worth it.  Looking your best is not a luxury - it’s a necessity.
2. Organize your wardrobe.  Set aside a day to try on everything in your closet, your dressers, storage, etc.  Try on shoes, belts, accessories, outfits, both business and casual.  Eliminate everything that makes you feel lower than you want to be.  Don’t try to convince yourself that the item would work if everything else in your closet were dirty – that’s not going to happen anymore!  If you wouldn’t wear it in front of your best client, give it to charity.  Organize what’s left in a system that makes sense to you so that you can easily put together an awesome outfit every morning.  You might find that deciding what to wear the night before is helpful, or even creating a section for this week’s outfits.  Remember to create a shopping list of any items you need to replace to make an outfit perfect, and set a time to take any necessary mending to your tailor.  (Yes, if you don’t know how to mend items yourself, you should use a good tailor.)
3. Plan your morning routine.  Seriously now, imagine how your morning would flow if you could wave a magic wand and make it go exactly as you want it.  What time would you get up?  How long would you spend in the shower?  How long does it take to apply your makeup and fix your hair?  Be sure to allow time for breakfast, and your commute time.  Factor in any necessary stops and tasks for children and ideally, a little time for yourself for journaling, meditating, or whatever makes you feel calm, relaxed, and in control.
4. Get a good night’s sleep.  As I stated earlier, getting a good night’s rest is essential for making all of this get off on the right foot.  Do whatever is necessary to achieve this important step.  If your husband’s snoring keeps you awake, sleep in the guest bedroom or on the couch if necessary.  See your family physician about the appropriate sleep medication for you on those nights when you just can’t turn off your brain and go to sleep.  You might try taking a bath before bed, or eating a high carbohydrate snack, no protein. 
5. Get up when your alarm goes off.  So easy to say, so hard to do, I know!  I’ve been there!  Several theories abound as to why so many women have trouble getting up when their alarm goes off.  I’ve found two things that really help me.  The first is getting a good night’s sleep.  That does not necessarily mean 8 hours.  Sometimes 6 hours leaves me feeling more energized than 8 – you can get too much sleep.  But I know that on average, I need about 7 hours per night.  The second is having the morning planned, knowing that my life has a purpose, and that I’m fulfilling that purpose.  Having goals that inspire me helps as well, but sometimes I get up just because I’m looking forward to the breakfast I decided on the night before!  Hey – whatever works – use it.
6. Work your plan.  This is actually the easy part.  At first, you will want to have your plan written out until this way of living becomes a habit for you.  Anytime you’re feeling stressed or having a difficult time dealing with either home or work pressures, a written plan of action will help you feel in control.  Once you get the hang of this and start reaping the rewards, you’ll naturally settle on routines that work for you, work quickly, and get you going.  Before you know it, you’ll forget about how you used to think it was so much trouble to look and feel your best every day.
7. Take care of yourself.  Exercise, maintain your ideal weight, get regular massages, manicures, pedicures, read, relax, reflect, journal, do anything and everything that makes you feel your best.  When you feel great, you look great; when you look great, you feel great. 

When you look and feel great, work is great, and life is great.  Isn’t that what you want?

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Do you ever wonder why people seem to be upset with you but won’t tell you why?  Have you ever found yourself in an uncomfortable conversation with a co-worker?  Have you ever “caught” people talking about you behind your back? Do you tend to get ignored, or not taken seriously in meetings?  Are you a salesperson who’s barely making ends meet and you know there’s a “secret” you’re just not privy to?  Does your company do a good job of marketing and getting people to your place of business, but then, for some unknown reason, the customers don’t return?

All of these complaints are symptoms of poor business etiquette.  In this article, I’ve identified the 9 most common mistakes I see, and provided a few suggestions on how to overcome or avoid them.

1. Failure to smile and be friendly.  The first problem I see when I’m conducting business is a general lack of motivation to try to be pleasant and gain the repeat business of the customer or client.  We all want to conduct business in a positive, friendly environment, and with products and services being pretty much equal these days, a pleasant atmosphere will definitely put one business ahead of another.  Besides, being pleasant, easy to work with, and keeping a smile on your face not only makes others respond to you in a friendlier manner and want to repeat business with you, but it makes you feel better as well.  If you have trouble finding a good reason to smile all the time, read The Power of a Smile.  The most challenging endeavor for any business is to create a customer and keep them.  If you hate your job, find a new one.  There are too many opportunities out there to be miserable.  Misery does not love company, well, actually, it might, but it doesn’t need it!  So stop spreading your misery and find a reason to smile!
2. Discussing personal problems at work.  We have all been on the receiving end of this major faux pas; you have a co-worker who is either having marital problems and simply must discuss them with everyone in the office, or is having a problem with her supervisor and decides to educate everyone, including clients, about the situation.  It doesn’t take much to see that this is a problem, but what can you do about it?  First, always check your baggage at the door when you come to work.  Personally, I find that throwing myself into my work and completely focusing on being a good employee gives me a reprieve from any troubles I might be having at home.  I deal with work issues at work and home issues at home.  It is a much simpler way to live.  When I have a problem with a co-worker or boss, I work it out with that person and never, ever, let the customer “see you sweat.”  I guess I come by this naturally since my father taught me long ago that, “you never air your dirty laundry in public.”  He was right then, and his advice would certainly hold true today.
   What if you are on the receiving end of such a rant?  How do you politely tell someone to go away, leave you alone, and shut up?  Simply refuse to engage in any conversation that is not career-centered.  You can set an example by saying, “You know, Deana, I’ve made a New Years’ resolution to not bring my personal problems to work.”  Then, walk away.  She’ll get the hint.  If you are the employer and possibly the object of the problem, you’re going to have to bring the person in to your office or similar private area and address it.  Let her know that since she has an issue with you, the two of you will deal with it, and that talking about you to other employees or to clients is grounds for dismissal.  I have gone as far as having to send an employee home to “cool off.”  It works. 
3. Inappropriate Attire/Hygiene.  You need to take a bath every day before going to work.  You need to dress in a manner that is appropriate for your industry.  You can argue with me all you want, but the bottom line is this:  It pays to look and smell and feel your best.  You’ve Only Got Three Seconds to make an impression and if there is anything offensive about you, you won’t get the job, you won’t get the promotion, or you won’t get the account.  I often find myself at a loss for words during a conversation with a young woman over why she does not dress appropriately for work.  It goes something like this.
   Debra:  “Do you know how you’re supposed to dress at work?”
   Young Woman:  “Yes.”
   Debra:  “Why don’t you dress that way?”
   Young Woman:  “Because I don’t have clothes like that in my closet.”
   Okay, so buy the clothes you’re supposed to be wearing and place them in your closet so that they’re ready to go on Monday morning.  Don’t use the worn out excuse of “It’s just not me to dress like that.”  You have chosen this occupation, so you need to make it you – or get into a line of work that does allow you to dress in a manner that is you. 
4. Incorrect grammar.  I used to think this was only a problem in rural areas of Appalachia where I grew up, but I’m finding it to be prevalent throughout the country and in all business communication, speaking and writing.  I’m not talking about the most formal of rules such as never ending a sentence with a preposition, in fact, we now advise that you write like you speak – it makes your communication more effective by showing your human side.  Don’t get me wrong, there are still places for highly formal writing, just not in general, day-to-day business communication.  What I find to be the most misused are verbs and adverbs.  For example, I frequently hear, “If I was going to do that,” when it should be, “If I were going to do that.”  Another example is, “She don’t care if you do that for her,” when it should be, “She doesn’t mind if you do that for her.”  One last example, “This conversation is to be kept private, between him and I.”  The proper phrasing is, “between him and me.”  I could spend days writing on this topic, but if you believe you have a problem with grammar, try ThinkQuest.  On a brief perusal through their site, it seems well laid out and easy to use.
5. Sexual innuendo.  Jokes, crude remarks, or discussing personal hygiene in mixed company is completely unacceptable in the workplace.  The remark doesn’t even have to be crude; any comment that refers, directly or indirectly, to a sexual act is inappropriate.  Don’t split hairs with me here, either – when in doubt, don’t.  Ladies, don’t try to put this one off on the men, either; you are just as guilty as they are!  Approaching clients as potential dates for your widowed mother because she’s lonely is in appropriate.  Telling a “dirty” joke, even if you’ve asked permission of the client, is inappropriate.  Asking your male boss to start buying your tampons because your co-workers are stealing yours is inappropriate.  Telling your male boss that he’s going to have to overlook your crankiness this week because you’re on your period is inappropriate.  I know you’re probably laughing at this point, but I have personally witnessed all of these scenarios!
6. Reprimanding an employee in front of the client.  Have you ever complained about a worker’s performance on the job?  Did you want that employee to be fired?  Did you want to see it happen?  Clients become upset when their business is handled improperly – and rightfully so - but just because they complain about an employee’s performance does not mean they want to see you lose control of yourself.  Remember, how you react in a situation reflects on you – not the person or situation you’re reacting to.  When you “fly off the handle” at someone, whoever is watching will end up taking the side of the other person and often, stop doing business with you altogether because it’s not worth the emotional investment.  It’s fine to let the customer know that you are going to deal with the situation, and never make excuses for an inept employee.  It’s your business, and therefore your responsibility to train your employees to perform their jobs well, and in the manner expected of them by both you and your customers.
7. Improper Email Etiquette.  Wow – here’s a big one.  As long as e-mail has been around, you would think we would have conquered this one already.  On the other hand, the English language has been around . . . . a lot longer, and we haven’t mastered it yet either, have we?  Here are some points to remember when using any type of e-mail device.
   Don’t use all caps.  Back in the 1980’s there was a time management firm, whose name I’m deliberately leaving out, that taught executives to use all caps in their e-mails, touting that this would save time.  However, back in the day, we had less control over our text and computer techs used all caps as a way of expressing anger or upset.  Soon, the business world caught on to this and said, “Hey, we need to abide by that rule that we only use all caps when we’re shouting.”  So now, e-mail etiquette guides spout this theory that when you use all caps, you’re displaying aggression.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I have used all caps in e-mails before and it was to emphasize my point, and I was upset.  However, when someone sends me an e-mail that is in all caps, I don’t assume that he or she is shouting at me.  Instead, all caps leaves me, and many of my peers, with the impression that you’re one of those executives who’s stuck in the 1980’s.  In other words, we think you’re not very with it.  Either way, you don’t make a good impression when you use all caps, so stop it.
   Do give a quick response.  This rule applies to phone calls as well as e-mails.  When someone e-mails you and requires a response, do so within a day, two at the most.  The “I’m so busy” excuse reflects poorly on you because one could perceive you as having a time management problem.  If you must request information prior to responding, let the person know that it might be a couple of days before you have the answer.  If you are on vacation, set your e-mail and voice mail to inform people of that when they contact you.  If you inadvertently return an e-mail or phone call late, apologize, and move on.  A simple statement such as, “I did receive your e-mail last week, I’m sorry I haven’t responded to you yet, here’s the situation/answer.”  Never insult someone by saying, “I’m just so busy.”  What?  Like we’re not all busy?  Everyone has more to do than time to do it in, but we all manage to prioritize and do what is important to us.  By apologizing and stating you simply have not responded yet, says to me, “Wow, she’s really busy.”  See the difference?
   Don’t get the last word.  Are you one of those people who must always have the last word in a conversation?  Do you know it’s rude to do so?  Especially in e-mail.  If an e-mail does not require a response, don’t send one.  Writing back to say, “You’re welcome,” just because someone said “Thank you” in response to a file you sent is totally unnecessary.  The exception to the rule of, “if an e-mail does not require a response,” is if someone has sent attachments to you.  It is considered a common courtesy to let the sender know that you received the attachment, you’ve open