So how much did you spend last Friday?  Come on – be honest.  Too much?  You’re not alone.  Retailers are estimating that, collectively, we Americans will spend about $480 billion this Holiday season.  I hope we do too.  Spending is good for the economy; spending creates jobs and more business, increases competition, and makes life better for all of us.  The question each of us needs to ask ourselves is, “What is best for me and my family?”

Below are five ways to help you keep your holiday spending reasonable, and under control.

1.  Evaluate your thinking

If you know, or even suspect, that you spend too much during the holidays, it’s time to change your thinking.  All change starts with a paradigm shift. It seems to me that most parents think their children actually expect all the items on their wish list. And if you ask them, that’s probably what they will tell you.  However, most children never assume they’re getting everything, and most really want one thing in particular, or a couple of items over everything else. 

Most children don’t know or understand the concept of money from a standpoint of earning, saving, and spending because they can’t relate to it.  They don’t have jobs, their needs are covered, and saving never lasts more than a few months at best.  Even if you’ve tried to explain it to them, they just can’t relate to a budget yet.  Think about it, when did you learn that concept?

I remember wonderful Christmases when I was growing up.  I nearly always received more both in the number of presents and in the amount spent than any of my friends.  My parents were middle class and did not believe in debt.  Everything was paid for completely as it was purchased.  I got clothes, toys, gadgets, money, most of what I asked for and more.  (But I didn’t get everything I asked for – and didn’t expect to.)  Reflecting back on those times, I was always very proud to go back to school and show or tell my friends how much I received for Christmas.  However, also looking back, it would have really been nice to have had perhaps a more reasonable amount of “stuff” at Christmas, and then been able to attend Juilliard when I got accepted but couldn’t afford to go.  Of course, this is coming from my adult perspective and coming in retrospect.  And don’t get me wrong here – I received a fine education and I’m very happy where I am now.  I shared this point with you to get you to think about it this way for a moment; when your children are 20, will they still be thanking you for the latest PlayStation, or will they be wishing you had saved more for their education?

2.  Use Credit cards as a tool – not as an answer

You’re probably thinking that I’m going to tell you to not use credit cards this holiday season.  Actually, I’m not, but then again, I am.  More details please?  You got it.  Credit cards are a must for shopping online and are extremely useful with brick and mortar retailers.  Why?  Here’s a snippet from CBS’s Ray Martin:

Only credit cards provide consumers protections under the Fair Credit Billing Act. Under this law, your liability for fraudulent or disputed charges on credit cards is limited to $50 and you have the right to dispute charges and withhold payment while the charge is investigated. Also, if the merchandise delivered is defective or not in the condition “as agreed,” you have the right send it back to the merchant and deny the payment to them. Try getting your money back from a difficult merchant when you’ve paid by a check.

To read the entire article, click here.

Too often, consumers use credit cards as an answer to the question, “Where am I going to get the money for Christmas this year?”  If you’re in the situation where you really don’t have money to spend on gifts, at least set yourself a limit – like an amount you know you can pay off in three months or less.  Trust me; everyone will understand, and if you shop creatively no one will even have to know.

3.  Lose the guilt

I can’t count how many times I’ve heard parents say, “I wouldn’t buy so much for Johnny if Ricky’s parents didn’t buy so much for him.  Johnny wouldn’t understand why he didn’t get as much since he knows we make more money than Ricky’s parents.”

Just stop it.  Blaming someone else for your overspending is as bad as thinking someone else is going to pay your bills.  If Johnny asks why Ricky got more than he did, tell the truth, “I don’t know.”  You really don’t know someone else’s financial circumstances.  Even if they tell you – they could be lying.  Believe me, it happens.  People make stuff up because of their own thinking and their own problems.  Don’t take on someone else’s thinking or someone else’s problems.  Worry about yourself and your family and hope everyone else does the same.  Soon, you’ll be able to help in a charitable situation where you sense that a family is in need and you’ll feel better about all of your giving.

While I’m on the subject of charities – I know one woman who puts charitable giving on her credit cards during the holidays.  Okay, giving is a good thing, but please find a balance.  Don’t give more than you can reasonably afford and don’t go into debt.  Yes, there are many people in need, but take care of your own needs first.  I like what Oprah Winfrey has to say about this:

“We’ve been programmed to sacrifice everything in the name of what is good and right for everyone else.  I know for sure you can’t give what you don’t have.”  

4.  Realize and accept that you and your family are worth more than material things

You deserve to have money in the bank saved back for a rainy day.  Your children deserve their own accounts saving and earning money for their post-high school education.  Your children want to spend time with you, even if that means having less.  Please remember that children are not the best communicators; they might say they’d rather have a new iPod instead of time with you, but they don’t really mean it.  They’re saying that because they don’t believe they’ll get to spend time with you even if they give up the new iPod.  I wonder why they would think that.  Okay, I’m starting to lecture now and I don’t want to do that, so we’ll move on.  Just remember that you and your family deserve meaningful relationships and not just a bunch of “stuff.”

5.  Make it fun

Sure spending money is fun, shopping is fun, buying things is fun; but do you know what’s more fun?  Getting a good deal on all the stuff you buy.

If your children are internet savvy, ask for their help in finding the things they want at the lowest possible prices.  Give them a spending limit and let them choose their own gifts.  Maybe you could have one gift for them they don’t know they’re getting so they’re surprised but they’ve chosen the rest.  If you don’t want them to know what they’re getting, have them create an online wish list.  Don’t worry if you don’t know how to do this – they know and they’ll be happy, in this instance, to teach you.

Also remember this tip about shopping online.  When you’re in the final stages of making a purchase, if the website has a section for a “promo code,” open another browser window, (or tab if you’re using IE v7), and do a search on promo code + the name of the retailer.  This will link you to sites that have promotional discounts for that retailer’s site.  I saved $20 on a jacket for my uncle at Brookstone.com using that little trick.  It took me about 30 seconds to find it, the $20 covered a little more than the shipping, and it saved me a trip to the mall.  Sweet!

The Bottom Line

Spend within your means.  As much fun as giving is, it’s nice to be able to give all year long.  My husband and his sister have a long-standing tradition that works great; instead of spending on each other (and families) for Christmas, (when we all get so much anyway), we exchange gifts on our birthdays.  That spreads out the expense, as well as the joy. 

Thanks for reading today.  Feel free to post a comment by clicking the “No Comments” button below.  I’d love to hear how others save money and/or find discounts during the Holidays. 

Your Assignment: 

Find more ways to truly enjoy the Most Wonderful Time of the Year, then come back here and share them with all of us!

Posted under Uncategorized

One day every two weeks I dedicate some time to “Reflection and Reassessment.”  I try to spend at least two hours analyzing how I’ve spent my time over the past couple of weeks and make changes to my schedule based on things I’ve learned.  Every once in a while, I have a longer, more in-depth session that can take up to 8 hours to complete.  My philosophy is that you need to stand back on a regular basis and analyze yourself, your life and your time usage.  Becoming a master of your time rather than a slave to continuing time pressures is a wonderful achievement.

The holidays are a good time to start doing this.  With so many things already to do; shopping, decorating, cooking, visiting family, and going to parties; we often obligate ourselves to doing more than one person could do in an entire year, let alone one season.  Accept the fact right now that there’s more to do than time to do it and that some things simply must be omitted.  How do you decide which things to fully commit to and which ones to let go? 

First, take time to decide what is most important to you.  Is it having an abundance of toys for your children to open on Christmas day, or spending precious time with them during one of the few times of the year that you get time off from work?  I’m not judging or trying to tell you what to do here - it’s your value system.  That’s the important part – it’s yours and yours alone. 

Organize Your Life Around Your Family, Your Career and Your Personal Goals

Prioritizing is sometimes difficult to do.  You can weed out a lot of things by going through your to do list and matching each item to one of your values.  If an item doesn’t match up - you’re going to get rid of it, one way or another – delegate it, or call the person in charge and say you can’t do it.

If all of your items fit with your values - congratulations, you’re living a purpose-centered life.  But what do you do when you’re still feeling overwhelmed?  Narrow your values to what’s most important to you this holiday season.  What’s the one value that would really make the holidays magical for you.  Time to relax?  Time with your family?  Time to prepare a home-cooked meal?  Hiring a personal chef to come in and do the cooking so you can decorate, because you love decorating?  Whatever it is, make it number one and evaluate your to-do list again.

In my previous post on this topic, I listed the three keys to a good shopping trip.  What I’m going to share with you now, are the three keys to time management for the Holidays.

Three Keys to Time Management for the Holidays

The three essential keys to time management are:

1. The ability to set priorities
2. The self-discipline to sit down and plan
3. The ability to concentrate single-mindedly on one thing at a time; focus

The ability to set priorities

We all have a natural tendency to commit to things we don’t really want to do and that don’t align with our personal values.  We’re either asked by someone we owe a favor to, or our boss, or our child’s Sunday school teacher – it’s always someone nearly impossible to decline.  Perhaps this little reminder will help you bite the bullet and resist giving in the next time you need to say No:  If something isn’t getting you closer to your goals, it’s pulling you away from them.  Remember, nothing is neutral.

The self-discipline to sit down and plan

Time is your most precious resource, especially during the Holidays. It is perishable, irreplaceable, and it cannot be saved. It can only be reallocated from activities of low value to activities of high value. Time is also essential for the important relationships in your life. The very act of taking a moment to think about your time before you spend it will begin to improve your personal time management immediately.

It’s easy to use the excuse, “Well, in all this time I’m taking to plan, I could actually be doing something!”  But it doesn’t work that way.  If you spend that time doing something that’s not getting you closer to your goals and desired outcomes, then you’ve completely wasted your time and you have no direction for what to do next.

The ability to concentrate single-mindedly on one thing at a time; focus

In my post, Time Chunking, I talk about the importance of focusing your time, as much as possible, on a single task until it is complete.  There is another definition of time chunking, however, that would also work for the Holidays and that is to allot a certain amount of time for accomplishing a task and doing the best you can during that time.  Either method will work.  For example, don’t try to decorate the house one hour at a time over several days.  You’ll waste more time getting things out, getting them organized, getting setup, and cleaning up when you could have used that time to do more decorating.  Either decide how much time it will take you to do it all - or maybe in two sessions, depending upon how much you decorate – or decide to just do what you can in the amount of time you have. Do this with everything on your list and see how much better you feel.

Your Assignment

First, as soon as you start to feel overwhelmed, stop whatever you are doing and think about what is important to you. The more often you stop and think the better decisions you will make. (Reflection and Reassessment)

Second, use a planner, notebook, or Excel spreadsheet to plan the next couple of days or weeks – whatever it takes to help you feel in control.  You just may find that there is enough time to do it all and you can relax.  For me, the frustration is often just in my mind.  Getting a schedule on paper helps me see that everything’s going to be okay.

Third, follow your schedule as closely as possible.  If you’ve allowed four hours for putting up Christmas decorations and you’re two hours into it but don’t have the tree up yet, decide either to swap time with something else of a lower priority, or to do just what you can in the time allotted.  (Reflection and Reassessment)  I’ve had a number of years where I put everything up except the tree.  You know what?  No one noticed!  The house was beautiful without it.  I’ve also had seasons where I put up the tree, but didn’t decorate the mantel.  The only person who cared – was me.  And after a successful Christmas dinner without a perfectly decorated mantel, I didn’t care either.  I was able to enjoy spending time with my family while not being exhausted.

Remember, it’s the most wonderful time of the year.  Make it so.

Posted under Education, Inspiration, Motivation

Friday, November 24, 2006 officially kicks off the Holiday Season.  I was in Lexington, Kentucky shopping yesterday and the hubbub has already begun.  Instead of “marshmallows for toasting” and “everyone telling you ‘Be of good cheer,’” I witnessed car horns for honking and everyone telling you “Get out of my way!”

For once, though, I was able to keep my spirits high and ignore the negativity around me until the very end of the day – at the grocery store – at that point, all bets were off; hey, I’m not perfect! 

Don’t get me wrong, I was very glad to get home, but I did something different yesterday that really helped me take control of my moods, thoughts, and actions, and I’d like to share those with you now. 

Three Keys to a Good Shopping Trip

The three essential keys to creating a good shopping experience are:

1. Creating a List
2. Planning Your Route
3. Remaining Focused, Yet Flexible

Creating a List

With so many things to do during the holidays - shopping, decorating, cooking, visiting family, going to parties - there is never enough time to do everything that needs to be done.  Therefore, you must be continually setting priorities on your time. This includes shopping trips. 

Start by creating a list of everything you need to purchase and every store you need to visit.  I use an Excel spreadsheet that remains attached to our refrigerator and keeps a running tally of everything we need.  For the holidays, you’ll want to include gift items and, if necessary, keep the list hidden.  (Password protected comes to mind.)

Planning Your Route

Once you have your list and you believe it’s complete, put the stores in order of the way you will visit them.  For example, I live an hour away from Lexington, so I go to the grocery store last so that perishables will not spoil while I’m shopping at the mall.  I also take a cooler to keep meat and frozen items in good condition until I get home.  From that point, I simply plan my trip according to the way I like to drive into town, working around any appointments I might have.

Next, realistically estimate how much time shopping at that store will take and create a timeline based on either what time you want to leave, or what time you want to get home.  This is extremely important because you need to know if you’re taking on too much in one trip.  I for one can’t handle a 12-hour shopping day.  Some people can.  You know your own energy level and, at the very least, doing this step will help you be more prepared for a long day; there’s nothing worse than thinking you’ll be home by 5 when in fact you’re not getting home until midnight.  You can either plan to break the trip up into two different shopping days, or plan to take breaks to eat so you can keep your energy up.

I cannot stress enough the importance of planning.  Managing your time this way makes you feel really good at the end of the day.  Even if you’re the impulsive type who likes to “take things as they come,” you’ll appreciate applying this technique when your time is it’s most valuable to you.  I used to be one of those people who liked to “play things by ear,” but I’ve changed because I now realize the value of being my best for those I love, and this method helps me do that.  I also just like the feeling of being in control it gives me.  If I’m running ahead of schedule, I can make an extra stop somewhere just for me, or if I’m running behind, I can make adjustments accordingly. 

Remaining Focused, Yet Flexible

It’s important to have time built in to your shopping trip that allows for unanticipated time wasters, like long lines at checkout counters, or auto accidents.  Even better is if you have taken the time in advance to decide which stops are optional.  For example, I wanted to go to the Wild Oats store yesterday, but decided against it at the last minute due to my strong desire to stay on schedule and realizing that another stop at a mall would really only add to my growing frustration with negative people.  Just for the sake of my own sanity, I skipped it.  And I’m glad.

Next to some list items I had written the word, “MUST.”  These were the items that, you guessed it, I could not leave town without.  These items kept me focused on what was important and I knew that as long as I had those items with me when I headed for home, everything would be okay.  You’d be surprised at what a relief knowing that is and how much it helps your spirits.  To give you a specific example, I was standing in line to return an item when a state trooper got in line behind me.  He was on his lunch break and becoming frustrated at how slowly the line was moving.  I offered to let him go in front of me because I knew I was running ahead of my desired schedule.  Although he was grateful, he left anyway because the line was just too slow.

I would have been fine even at the grocery store had they not completely deleted the cracker isle.  It seems that seasonal items take precedence over basic staples.  Personally, I think that should be illegal!  Stores should not be allowed to move shelved items after September 30th or before January 1st. (Just kidding – but I had you going there for a minute, didn’t I?)  The only real trouble I had at Kroger was my own frustration over having to walk the entire store about three times to find saltines; I had not allowed for that in my planning!  By the time I found them, I was so tired and frustrated that I ended up leaving the store without picking up the last two items on my list – milk and cream.  Thankfully, I can get those locally.

Even though the day did not end on a perfect note, I did arrive home 30 minutes earlier than I had planned, giving me time to sit down for a few minutes before starting supper.  I was very grateful for those few minutes of solitude.

Your Assignment:

My next post will take Time Management for the Holidays a little deeper.  For now, your assignment is to reflect on the lyrics of that popular song:

It’s the most wonderful time of the year
Eddie Pola, George Wyle 1963

It’s the most wonderful time of the year.
With the kids jingle belling,
and everyone telling you,
“Be of good cheer,”
It’s the most wonderful time of the year.

There’ll be parties for hosting,
marshmallows for toasting and
caroling out in the snow.
there’ll be scary ghost stories and
tales of the glories of Christmases
long, long ago.

It’s the most wonderful time of the year.
There’ll be much mistletoeing
and hearts will be glowing,
when loved ones are near.
It’s the most wonderful time of the year.

Posted under Education, Motivation

Today was one of those days when I got to write in my journal, “I am the luckiest person alive.”  Rounding off a very hectic couple of weeks, the Golden Chords Concert yesterday came off without a hitch.  Everyone performed so well it was truly magical. 

When I awoke this morning, snow was falling and covering the ground.  It, too, seemed magical.  In years past, I might have felt tired from such an exhausting weekend, and a little disgruntled over having to go to work in the snow.  But this morning, I was able to light some candles by the fireplace and just watch the flakes fall. 

One of the advantages of creating the life you want, is a newfound ability to recognize blessings.  When life is coming at you so quickly in a way that wasn’t designed by you, it’s difficult to feel appreciation for your blessings.  It doesn’t mean you haven’t been blessed, quite the contrary.  For example, we have had many successful concerts, and there has certainly been plenty of snowfall over the years.  I failed to appreciate them before because I was too caught up in my decision to allow others to control my life.  Once I stepped up and took control of my life’s direction, I now appreciate everything and everyone so much more.  Accepting the challenge wasn’t easy, but definitely worth it.

In fact, there have been many advantages to creating my own life.  Another that comes to mind is the increased willingness to give to others.  Creating the life I want for myself means that I can let go of things – especially things that don’t fit in with my values or that I don’t see contributing to my future.  It’s more than just getting rid of clutter; it’s making a conscious decision to take control of every area of your life – including tithing. 

Among new age enthusiasts, there is a belief that if you need more of something, you probably need to give up something similar.  For example, if you need more free time, volunteer some of your time to helping others.  If you desire more clothing or material items, donate similar items you no longer use to Goodwill or someone you know is in need.  In my experience, there really is a direct correlation between giving and receiving.  Do you want to feel happier and better about yourself?  Give someone else a smile and a genuine compliment.

Finally, the best way I have found to create a more abundant life in general, is to give thanks for everything I have.  Instead of just thinking, “Wow, snow.  That’s nice.  Oh, well, got to go to work.  I hope I don’t have car trouble today.”   I now think instead, “Wow, snow.  It is so beautiful the way it’s covering the ground.  I think I’ll leave for work early so I can take my time and enjoy the scenery today.  I’m so lucky to have a dependable car to drive to work.  In fact, I’m the luckiest person alive.”

Your Assignment:

Create a list of 5 or more things for which you are thankful.  Take your time and really think about it. Write down everything that comes to your mind.  The more items you list, the more abundant your life will become.  Feel free to come back here and share your list when you’re finished.

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Posted under Inspiration

Rosa Parks, Clara Barton, Elizabeth Blackwell, Mary Anderson, Josephine Cochran, Marion Donovan, Gertrude Belle Elion, Bette Nesmith Graham, and Rachel Zimmerman.

How many of these names do you recognize? One or two?  They are all women who have made a significant contribution to your life.  Let’s take a look at how.

Rosa Parks saved us, in this generation, from having to endure the disgusting effects of segregation that marred this country during its formative years.  Anytime I think about how one woman can make a difference, I immediately think of Rosa Parks.  What impresses me most about Rosa, is the quietly, calm way she went about taking her “stand.”  She didn’t scream, shout, yell, make a scene, cry, rant, rave, or carry a sign. She preserved her undeniable dignity and obvious classiness by simply doing what she knew in her heart and mind was the right thing to do when the time came to do it.  Talk is cheap, action or, in this case, resolute steadfastness is everything.  Granted, there was a lot more she had to do – and did – to finally get the laws changed, and you can read all about it by clicking the link above to her name, but she fought the right way, the legal way, and used the legal system to make things right.

“When he saw me still sitting, he asked if I was going to stand up, and I said, ‘No, I’m not.’ And he said, ‘Well, if you don’t stand up, I’m going to have to call the police and have you arrested.’ I said, ‘You may do that.’”

Here’s something the history books won’t say.  On that fateful day, December 1, 1955, to just about everyone else around her at that scene, Rosa was “scum.”  She was at the very bottom of this society’s barrel.  Not only was she black, she was also a woman.  In 1955, you really couldn’t get any lower or be considered any less of a human being.  But she knew she was more.  She knew she was a child of God and worthy of all the blessings He put on this earth for all of his creations.  And, she was “tired of giving in.”

“When that white driver stepped back toward us, when he waved his hand and ordered us up and out of our seats, I felt a determination cover my body like a quilt on a winter night.”

Are you tired of giving in to something you know is beneath your honor?

Clara Barton  I’m sure you’re familiar with the American Red Cross; this woman founded the organization.  Actually, that was probably the least significant thing she did during her lifetime, but it’s the one that impacts all of us today.  What I especially like about Clara was her belief that we are all a part of each other; we are all connected in this one, big universe, and we’re meant to help each other.  We need to remember that in our dealings with one another.

Elizabeth Blackwell opened new doors when traditional ones were closed to her.  When others thought she was a joke, she pulled the final “prank.”  Read about her by clicking on her name – she’s great; a doctor, teacher, writer, and entrepreneur at a time when being these things as well as a woman was practically unheard of.

Mary Anderson invented windshield wipers.  I had always assumed some man did that.  Shame on me!  What impresses me about Mary, was that instead of just complaining about the situation, and rather than just keep her invention to herself, she obtained a patent and made money from her ingenuity.  Too often, even in today’s society, women are pooh-poohed for trying to make money from our ideas.  Take a lesson from Mary; take your ideas for making something easier for us all and get them patented.  Then go out and make some serious money.  It really is okay for a woman to do this.  Wouldn’t it be cool to overhear your grandchildren saying to their friends, “I don’t have to work when I grow up; my grandma created the watchamajigger and we’re loaded.”

Josephine Cochran  Now here’s a woman who had money, but still had a problem; too many broken dishes.  She is said to have exclaimed, “If nobody else is going to invent a dishwashing machine, I’ll do it myself!”  And she did.  I need to take a lesson from her.  I’m constantly telling my husband he needs to invent the flying car.  Maybe it’s time for me to start those plans myself.  I wonder how much Engineering school costs?

Marion Donovan  Do you ever get tired of your children’s bad habits?  So did Marion.  She invented the disposable diaper.  Hmmmmmmmmm.  What are your children’s bad habits?

Gertrude Belle Elion  Many of us are alive today thanks to this woman.  She had many inventions under her belt when she died in 1999.  Click on her name to see a list of a few of the drugs she developed.  Her most recent impact would be the creation of a drug called AZT, which is used in the treatment of HIV.

Bette Nesmith Graham  Here’s a woman who had it all.  Not only was she an inventor herself, she invented “Liquid Paper,” but she had a son who became famous as well.  Does anyone remember Michael Nesmith of the Monkees?  I do!  (Actually, I remember my older cousins being crazy about him when I was growing up.)  Brains, beauty, brilliant family, and money – if only she could have lived longer.  The point I would like to make here is; don’t live vicariously through your children, hoping they will live the life you wanted.  Set an example for your kids by living your life purposefully – they will follow in turn.  Isn’t that what you really want for them?  Your children are here to fulfill their purpose, not yours.

Rachel Zimmerman  There are a lot of people out there worth knowing, but because they have trouble communicating, we don’t know they exist.  Now we can thanks to this woman.  Actually, maybe I should say, thanks to this girl.  When she was just 12 years old, Rachel created a software program that enables non-speaking people, such as those with severe physical disabilities like cerebral palsy, to communicate.  Get the full story by clicking on her name.

All of these woman are/were hard workers.  They didn’t sit around wondering what their purpose was in life – it was right in front of them.  When their mission presented itself, they accepted their responsibility.  They also didn’t sit around feeling sorry for themselves either.  They simply used their skills, talents, education and connections to make life better for themselves and others.  They did what they could, when they could, when the situation presented itself.

I found information on all of these women in about 5 minutes on the internet.  I wonder, if I had kept searching longer, how many more I would have found.  Hundreds?  Thousands?  Millions?  But here’s my point: YOU make a difference.  YOU are important.  YOU can do anything for which you have a strong enough desire.  More importantly, YOU are here for a reason.  What is it?  Do you know? 

Maybe it hasn’t been revealed to you yet, and that’s okay.  Just keep preparing yourself.  Educate yourself on anything and everything that interests you, so that when the opportunity arises, you’ll be ready.  The more prepared you are for an opportunity, the more likely you are to see it.  And remember this quote from Orison Swett Marden:

Don’t wait for extraordinary opportunities.  Seize common occasions and make them great.” 

Like keeping your seat on the bus, or inventing a better way to clean your windshield.  We’re not all meant to be Oprah Winfrey’s, Martha Stewart’s, or Eva Longoria’s; some of us are destined to be a Rosa, Mary, or Rachel.  I don’t know about you, but I’d settle for that!

Your Assignment:

1. Make a list of all your talents.  Think back to your early childhood; what did you have a passion for then?  What did you want to be when you grew up?  What interests you now?
2. Once you have your list, do a web search and educate yourself in each area of interest.
3. Be watchful for an opportunity to present itself.

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Posted under Education, Inspiration, Leadership, Motivation

This has been a hectic week for me.  The internet has been down, I’ve had a sick kitten to contend with as well as a sick computer, I had to spend two days on re-certification for a proprietary software program I teach, I completed one client training (the highlight of my week),  and an orthodontic appointment, (the most miserable part of my week).  Add to that my regular chores, an extra grocery shopping trip due to being tied up with Golden Chords all day tomorrow and Golden Chords practice all week, and, well, you get the drift.  Now I’m not telling you all this to get your sympathy.  I know a lot of you right now are thinking, “Welcome to my world.”  Yes, I know.  What I want to share with you is what I discovered today as I sat down to write this post.

While I consider myself a teacher with this blog as my classroom, I don’t always have my “lessons” planned out.  Often I don’t know what I’m going to write about until I sit down to write it.  Today was one of those days.  The first thing I do is think about what is going on in my life and what I’ve learned in the past couple of days that might be useful to my readers.  As I sat down to write this post, the thought came to me that what I really need to do is take some time to just chill out.  Do nothing.  Live in some quiet time and maybe reflect for a little bit.  But then I thought, No, I’ve really got too much to do today.  I need to work on my website design, I have to make a dessert for Golden Chords, I have to spread the leaves the lawn mower left yesterday onto the garden, along with the other 24 items in my Outlook to do list.  So I set about writing my post.

When I have trouble thinking of something to write, I go to my personal archive of motivational materials.  Today I went into my Brian Tracy archives, and what do you think my eyes landed upon first?  An e-mail newsletter I received two weeks ago but had not gotten around to reading yet titled, “The Magic of Solitude.”  Seeing as how this was right up my ally at the moment, I decided to read the article.

Brian says that we should practice solitude as often as we can, preferably one hour every day.  The process is to sit quietly, head and back straight, with no interruptions, no distractions, no reading material, no writing, no music, nothing to eat, etc. Just relax, breathe deeply, and let your mind flow.  The benefit of this, according to Tracy, is that “At a certain stage during your period of solitude, the answers to the most pressing difficulties facing you will emerge quietly and clearly.” Sounds great to me, so I decided to give it a try right then – before writing this post.

For the first 15 minutes, it was extremely difficult not to get distracted.  At first, I tried sitting in front of my computer, but it was just too tempting to want to read that e-mail that just came in.  So I closed the lid to my laptop to solve that problem.  Then I wanted to get out one of my books and read, but that’s against the rules as well.  I moved to the back porch, where I thought the distractions would be few since there’s so little out there, but then I saw that pile of leaves the lawn mower left and I wanted to get out in the garden – it’s such a pretty day and we get so few of those in November.  Then, I heard a voice saying, “Later, Debra, you will do that later.  Right now, just be still.”  So I became still.

For the next 45 minutes, I watched the birds clamor for their food, the leaves fall from the tree, and the squirrels hide their treasures.  I had all kinds of insights on my to do list – how to do them better or more efficiently – as well as many new inspirations.  But the most important feeling I got out of this session, was an overwhelming sense of peace.  I spent one hour of my day doing nothing, or at least it seemed like nothing.  Yet somehow, I felt like I suddenly had more time to accomplish everything on my list.  It’s just like the axiom that 30 minutes of exercise gives you 6 hours of extra energy; the one hour of solitude gave me countless hours of actual productivity.

At the end of my hour, I remembered a song I used to sing.  I don’t know who wrote it and I can’t even remember who recorded it.  I also can’t remember all the words.  What I remember are the following lines:

“So I won’t worry ‘cause there’s no hurry the world’s not passing me by;
For the Lord, He knows, just where each day goes, I know He won’t leave me behind.”

Now it’s your turn.  You know what to do.  Let me know what you get out of your one hour of solitude.

You can subscribe to this blog here.

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Posted under Inspiration, Leadership, Motivation

I am the captain of my soul; I am the master of my fate.  –William Henley

Whether you are a full-time homemaker and mother, employee in a small office, a Fortune 500 executive, or a retired individual, you are self-employed.  Let me explain.

Everyone needs money to survive in this world.  The only way most of us have for providing our basic human needs of food, clothing, and shelter, is to purchase them.  Therefore, we all must have a way of coming up with that money, whatever that method might be.  A full-time wife and mother trades a salary of her own for that of her husband’s so that she can rear her children in accordance with the family’s values.  A retired individual trades savings in the bank for a lifestyle she’s comfortable living.  An “employee,” no matter the size company for which she works, trades her time and a little piece of herself each day for a paycheck.

Most of the time, people confuse the term, “self-employed” with “entrepreneur.”  The two are similar concepts – if you’re an entrepreneur you’re definitely self-employed - but there is a distinct difference between these two terms.  Entrepreneurs are people who start and manage their own business.  They assume all of the risk and responsibility of performing a task or providing a service to their client.  Entrepreneurs may work by themselves or have thousands of people working for them.  While not everyone has the personality, intellect, or stamina to be an entrepreneur, everyone is self-employed.

In the past, say as little as 10 years ago, self-employed also meant someone who owns their own business – they work for themselves, answering to no one.  Most people who have their own business will tell you they answer to everyone – every client, at least.  Over the past decade, both the corporate and small business worlds have been in such financial turmoil, no one can expect to retire from the same company in which they start their career.  They might not even retire in the same field.  The world has changed a lot and business has changed right along with it – naturally.  This means that you have to put yourself out there as your own product.  You are constantly selling and marketing yourself.  Every interaction you have with your employer’s client, vendor, or co-worker, shows who you are and what you’re capable of.  Because of this, we are all self-employed.

Okay, maybe not everyone is self-employed.  I mean, there are people out there who just go to work, punch a time clock, put in their 8 or so hours, and go home.  I guess that’s fine if that’s all you aspire to.  But if you’re looking for more out of life, start thinking of yourself as self-employed; it will make dramatic changes in every area of your life.  You’ll make more money, have more leisure time, enjoy greater respect everywhere you go, and most importantly, feel better about yourself.  So how does someone who has a job and answers to someone else start thinking of herself as self-employed?  Here are a few ideas to get you started.

1. Start accepting complete responsibility for everything you are right now and everything you will ever become.  You are who and what you are right now because of decisions you made in the past.   Here’s the good news; you can start making decisions today that will cause you to be a different, maybe better, person tomorrow, next week, next month, and even further into the future. 
2. Stop making excuses and blaming others for your problems.  Even if someone else is to blame, do you really think that person is going to fix the problem for you if he created it for you in the first place?  If it’s a problem for you, it’s your problem, and therefore, your responsibility to fix it.  If for some reason you can’t fix it, forget about it.  Let it go.  Those really are your only two options.
3. Stop complaining about things in your life you are unhappy about.  Get into action and do something about the situation so that can be happy about it.  Find a way to make it work, or just decide to stop letting it bother you.  You’ll be surprised at how easy this really is once you try it.
4. Work your job like it’s your business. In reality, it is.  If you mess up or simply fail to care, you could very easily be fired.  Employees are replaceable, business “owners” are not.
5. Put your best foot forward every single day.  You never know if that new co-worker, vendor, or client is going to be your next boss, or an investor in your own start-up company.  If you show, on a consistent basis, that you are professional, energetic, honest, and hard-working, everyone will notice.
6. Put yourself in charge – of yourself.  If you work for someone else, it’s easy to put all of the responsibility on that person or company.  But if you take command of your own job, own it, and make everything about it better, you’ll soon be given more responsibility.  More responsibility will give you even more opportunities to shine and therefore, more opportunities.  The more opportunities you have, the more valuable you are to yourself, another employer, and your current employer.
7. Make things happen.  Just like setting your own personal goals and creating a plan to make them happen, you can do the same for your company.  Whatever the vision and goals of the company, find out what you can do to get the company closer to that vision and start doing it today.  Your efforts will be noticed. 

If you can’t take ownership of the job you have, find another one.  Think about it, if you’re miserable, you’re probably making everyone around you miserable as well.

Thanks for reading today, please feel free to comment.

Related Posts:

Wake up and Create the Life You Want

Seven Steps to Goal Accomplishment

Put Yourself First

The Wal-Mart Pharmacist

What is Your Mission?
 

Related Products:

Secrets of Great Rainmakers

Stop Procrastination (Now) with Hypnosis

Attain Financial Abundance with Hypnosis 

Boost your Confidence with Hypnosis

Posted under Inspiration, Leadership, Motivation

In my blog post, Wake up and Create the Life You Want, I talked about how it’s important that your actions stand behind what you say you want.  I’d like to take a step back and look at that concept in more detail.

Most of us at some point in our lives have learned how to set goals.  Decide what you want, when you want it, and repeat your goal to yourself or post it somewhere that you can see it daily.  The idea behind this is that your subconscious mind will make it happen for you.  The problem with that theory is that there is something significant left out.  That simple explanation can lead a person to believe that no action is required on your part.  Have you ever set a goal based on that theory and then wondered why it didn’t materialize for you?  Many motivational writers will tell you that if your goal doesn’t manifest, it simply means the “universe” has something better planned for you.  Hogwash!  Okay, maybe sometimes that is true, but actually, there’s a lot more to it than that. 

Everything you do, every day, every hour, does only one of two things; gets you closer to your goal, or further away from it.  Nothing is neutral.

This is why it’s important to define goals and desired outcomes in each area of your life.  For example:  If you take time off from your work one afternoon to attend your child’s school play, you might feel guilty because you think that action is pulling you away from your goal to make more money, when actually, showing support for your child and his or her accomplishments is a significant goal for you in your family life.

With that being said, however, there are many actions we’ve developed as habits that pull as away from our goals.  For example:  You’ve set a goal to lose 10 pounds in the next 30 days.  One of your nightly rituals is a bedtime snack of milk and cookies.  You spend all day counting calories and watching what you eat, yet at 9:30 every night, you “blow” your diet with your ritual.  Then you wonder why you’re not losing weight.

We also have habits that relate to nothing to do with our goals, they relate to nothing at all.  What we fail to realize, is that if a habit isn’t getting you closer to what you want, it’s pulling you away.  It’s like a smoker saying they want to become healthy, so they go on a diet.  You can lose all the weight you want, but you won’t be healthy until you stop smoking.  Smoking is a habit and we overlook our habits because they’re part of us. 

People who spend a lot of time watching television often find themselves in the “underachievers and under fulfilled” category.  I watch TV every night to wind down.  I need that time.  I’m a Type A, over-achieving workaholic.  So is my husband.  We spend anywhere from 30 to 90 minutes about five nights a week watching our favorite shows that we’ve recorded.  If we didn’t, we’d be up all night working.  The television is a signal to our brains to shut down so we can restart the next day.  But I know a lot of people who turn the TV on as soon as they get home from work, complain about having to get up to make dinner, then complain about what a mess the house is and how they never have time to get things organized.  If you’re one of these people, realize this:  If you spent one less hour per night watching television just five nights a week, that would give you 32.5 extra “working” days, 8-hour days, per year.  That’s over a month!  What could you accomplish if you had an extra month added to your year?  How would you spend that time?

I’ve used television as an example, but you probably have other “time wasters” that are keeping you from accomplishing your goals.  Find out what they are and work on eliminating them.  For now, let’s move on.

Set Interim Goals

If I needed to lose 50 pounds, I would find that concept very overwhelming.  When I started designing my first website, in the back of my mind, I thought I would have it completed in a day. (!)  My expectations were too high.  While it’s fine and good to dream big, you also need to remember that whatever the goal, and no matter how small or large, you must still take it one step at a time.  You will have setbacks, unexpected interruptions, and limitations you didn’t anticipate, but that’s all okay.  You might have to learn something new in order to accomplish your goal and that learning takes time.  You can still achieve your goal, whatever it is, as long as you stick with it, remain focused, act on the signals you’re given, and direct your actions.

By setting interim goals, you’re making your goal more achievable by making it more possible.  For example, before I could publish a website, I needed to learn how to design one.  I decided to start by using a program that would do most of the work for me, but then I had to learn how to use that program.  I did, got my first site published, then started this site.  I’m using a different program for this site, and am learning XHTML coding so I can do the entire site myself, but just learned that I need to learn server based coding in order to do what I really want to do.  Okay.  So I’m doing it.  I didn’t give up.  But I have a lot of fellow speaker and consultant friends who’ve said “Forget it.  Designing a website is too hard – that’s not my thing.”  I’ll be the first to admit it’s not for everybody – it is difficult.  But to me, the reward of having complete control over my sites is worth the price of learning several new programming languages.  When you run into difficulties in accomplishing your goals, you will have to decide if the payoff is worth the price.  Some goals will be, some won’t.  And that’s okay.  My friends who gave up hired a web designer to get their site up and running and they are paying a different kind of price – both monetarily, and in eventual control.  They’re okay with that. 

If you’re trying to lose 50 pounds, realize that you’re going to lose them 1-2 pounds at a time.  It can happen quickly, especially if you follow my system in How I lost 25 Pounds in One Month, but you’re not going to wake up one morning and suddenly weigh 50 pounds less.  Even if you fasted for several days, it would still take time to lose all that weight.  You’re going to have to keep your focus on the end result and be willing to pay the price.  Trust me, it’s worth it.  “Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels.”

Listen for Guidance

I’m quite certain that you are familiar with the story of the drowning man whose extreme faith that God would save him landed him an earlier than anticipated spot in Heaven. You know the story; a man is stranded in the ocean on a raft, a crew on a dingy comes by and offers to save him, but he declines saying, “God will save me.”  A cruise ship offers to let him on board, but he delivers the same response.  A rescue helicopter is sent, but he declines their help as well, and eventually dies.  When he arrives in Heaven, he asks God, “Why didn’t you save me?”  God replies, “I sent you two boats and a helicopter, what more did you want?”

Faith is extremely important, but acting on the help God sends us is equally important if we want to survive!  Most of the time, when we fail to accomplish a goal, it’s because we didn’t accept help, or act on the guidance we were given.  “Divine Guidance” can come by way of a thought you get while you’re in the shower, an unexpected phone call from a previous client or employer, being fired from your current job, or just a strong feeling that you need to do something or contact someone.  When God speaks to me, I know it.  However, there are times when He’s trying to get through, but I’m not listening.  So you’ve got to listen and be willing to act on what He tells you to do.  Sometimes what you’re being told to do doesn’t make sense until you’re looking back on it in hindsight.  Sometimes, you think you’re getting Divine Guidance when it’s really just a distraction you have created.  You’ll know the difference, and if you make a mistake in this matter, you’ll learn from it.  The important thing here is, listen.

Your Turn

I have two assignments; the first is for those of you who are new to goal setting, the second is for you veterans out there.

If you’re new to goal setting, set one goal for yourself for the next quarter.  Pick something you know you could do in three months’ time if you just buckled down and got to it.  For example, if you need to lose 50 pounds, maybe in three months you’d like to lose half that.  Write down whatever the goal is on a piece of paper and either look at it every day, or write it out again every day.  I like using a notebook for my major goals. Each day, as you read it aloud or write it down, stop and listen to the voices inside you for their direction.  The assistance you need to achieve your goal is out there, calling out to you, but you have to accept it.  Just be still, and listen for it.  When you get an idea, act on it.

If you’ve been setting goals for a while and have had some success, but know that what I’ve said above is true because you’ve missed deadlines, choose a goal that you have right now or maybe have had in the past.  Set a new deadline and be generous with yourself.  Set a time when you know you could have the goal accomplished if you worked on it every day. (Don’t worry about setting the date too far out.  I’ve done this a lot, and what happens is that I accomplish the goal a lot sooner – that’s a great feeling!) Write out what the goal is, the deadline, why you want it, and maybe even why you want it by that time – if that applies to your situation.  Each day, when you either write out your goal or just read it again, take 1-2 minutes to think about how your life will be different once you’ve accomplished that goal.  Visualize it.  What will be different about you?  How will accomplishing this goal affect the people closest to you?  Then, ask, “What can I do today to get me closer to this goal?”  or “How can I accomplish this?”  Then wait and listen for the answer.  It will come to you.  Your subconscious, intuition, spirit guides, the universe, and God, all work together to help you achieve your dreams.  All you have to do is ask, then act upon the advice they give you.  Most of us are really good at the asking part, it’s the action part where we need help.

Thanks for visiting today; I hope you accomplish all your goals.  I’d love to hear from you.

Posted under Education, Inspiration, Leadership, Motivation, Weight Loss

“I am the luckiest person alive.”  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve started my journal that way over the past 14 months.  But I didn’t always feel that way.  Not long after I took over my husband’s dental practice, I began to realize that it wasn’t the place for me.

The career that I left gave me complete autonomy over my day; I was blessed to work with very intelligent and well-educated people, and never stayed in one place to long.  I created and implemented my own work while at the same time got to help people increase their computer skills and inspired them to become better at their jobs and often, in their lives.  In case you’re wondering, I was a proprietary software training developer.  I taught technical skills, but often had to help people get beyond their own fears and self-limiting beliefs and make them believe that they could learn.  It was challenging, fun, and rewarding.

Then, boom.  I married a dentist, whose front office staff walked out one day soon after we were married, leaving me to pick up the pieces.  Now, I do have a financial background including an accounting degree, so I wasn’t completely lost.  When I first graduated from college my first job was in bookkeeping, which I also decided wasn’t my thing.  I loved teaching and ended up with a second degree in Business Education.  It was that degree that led to computer training and consulting, which utilized my skills in business management, marketing, advertising, accounting, and finance.

Sitting in a dental office, answering the phone, dealing with the public, collecting money that no one wants to dole out, filing insurance claims, and dealing with employee issues—well, let’s just say, it was a far cry from the life I thought I would lead being married to a dentist.  I mean, dentists are doctors and doctors are rich, right?  If only!

Now don’t get me wrong; I had planned to continue to work.  However, I was going to take some time off to get computers installed in all the treatment rooms, get the employees trained, and then work for my previous company part-time.  My previous employer was very good to me and was willing to work with me.  I was also very good to them, and a rainmaker, so it was a reciprocal relationship.  But that plan never materialized.  I remained in my husband’s practice a little over 5 years.

You would think that someone who stays with a job for five years must like something about it, right?  Not me.  The only thing I liked about my dental office manager job was the fact that I worked with my husband.  And some days . . .  but that’s another blog post.

To make a long story short, I was miserable in that job.  Not in my life in general; I was happy outside of the office, but when you spend an average of 50 hours per week in a job you hate, even if your “other” life is really good, you still feel miserable over all.  I know a lot of people who are living that way right now.  So what happened to me?  How did I get out?

I spent the first four years of my marriage thinking, believing, that I was a victim of circumstances and that I would never have the life I truly wanted.  I also believed that it was my husband’s responsibility to make a life for us and to make me happy.  If it hadn’t been for my deep devotion to my husband and our relationship, I would have run away and believe me, there were days when I wanted to do just that.  Looking back, I believe there were two things that kept me from it. The first, I truly loved my husband and believed that we could have a great life together.  I knew the problem was with me even though I didn’t know, at that point, how to fix it.  The second, I was too stubborn to give up!   I wanted to make this life and marriage work and I had plenty of other reasons to want to make them work.

I was very lucky in that my husband remained steadfast during those times that I whined and complained; he wanted me in the practice, but he also wanted me to be happy.  Finally, one day, he asked me, “What do you want?”  I told him.  I let it all out.  I told him I wanted to be a smaller part of the practice, there for backup, but not there every day.  I wanted to go back to training of some sort, maybe dental practice management training, maybe just back to computer training.  I wanted to work in a career that made me feel like I was contributing something significant to the world and that I was fulfilling my mission here on earth, but knew my current position wasn’t it.  I said a lot and can’t remember all of it, but that was the gist.

My husband’s response?  “So, do it.”

Isn’t that just like a man!  You spend half an hour pouring your heart out, you’ve cried until there are no more tears left in your body, and he comes back with three of the simplest words in the English language.

When I poked and prodded for more insight, he finally said, “Make it happen.”  (Please, honey, could you possibly come out with more than three words at a time?)  So when prompted for more specific information, he said, “Hire someone to replace you, then go out and do whatever you want.  All I ask, is that you don’t leave me high and dry.”  (For those of you who may not be familiar with that expression, he just didn’t want me to leave the business with no one to run the front office – I was the only “employee” in that part of the practice at that time.)

Since his dental practice was my only source of income as well, I certainly was not going to do anything that would sabotage that.  So I had some serious decisions to make.  While the prospect of finding someone to replace me and getting the “heck out of Dodge” was appealing, I had already attempted to hire someone to help me in the front office and was disappointed with each hire.  Still, I knew that I could not stay in a position that was just making me more and more miserable each day.  I tried every concept I could get my hands on for learning to love your job, but nothing worked.  So I decided to try hiring someone one more time.

This time, I approached it differently.  I prayed first.  Then I started interviewing.  No one seemed suitable, and I was determined not to hire someone just because I felt desperate.  Our practice was growing and we needed help both in the front and in the back.  We decided to try a concept called “the bullpen.”  I figured if this person didn’t work out for me, we could use her in the back and I could try someone else.  I continued to interview, but no one seemed right. Then one of our employees suggested someone she knew, but the young woman was afraid to apply thinking she wasn’t qualified.  We got her to come in for an interview and hired her immediately.  We started her out in the back learning the technical side of dentistry, but then she seemed to migrate naturally up front.  I was cautious, but after giving her some responsibilities in my area, I knew I had finally found someone capable of replacing me.  Amanda is probably reading this and wondering, “Was that me?”  Yes, Amanda, it was you.

I was harder on Amanda than anyone else I had hired before because I knew that if she truly was the one, she would be on her own. I was not going to be around to rescue her, so she had to know how to research accounts, solve insurance problems, deal with patients, and handle countless other issues, all while keeping a smile on her face.   Obviously, she came through.

So what was next for me?  I became anxious.  This was the only life I’d known for 5 years, and I knew the tech world had moved on from the programs I had taught.  I also knew that a lot of the companies I had worked for were no longer in business, or had training departments of their own.  I knew I had good writing skills, especially in the technical writing area, but did not know if there was much of a need or how to go about getting started.  I finally decided to contact my previous employer.

Four weeks later, (!) I did.  I called the owner, set up a lunch meeting, and explained exactly where I was in my life and what I wanted to do.  During those four weeks, though, I had a lot of learning to do – about myself.  I knew that placing that call was the next step – I could feel it, but I kept holding myself back saying that I wasn’t ready, or that Amanda wasn’t ready.  It was as if I was waiting for someone to make the call for me, or walk up to me and say, “Here you go, Debra, here’s your new career, perfectly laid out for you, all you have to do is follow the yellow brick road.”  Little did I know that there really was a “yellow brick road” laid out for me, anxiously awaiting my weary little feet, all I had to do was wake up enough to see it, in other words, change my thinking.

I started reading motivational books, articles, blog posts, anything I could get my hands on.  I consider myself fortunate to stumble upon and purchase, “Wildly Sophisticated,” by Nicole Williams.  On page 9, Ms. Williams talks about how we can spend a lot of time making plans, deciding what motivates us, and determining our values, but eventually we get to a point where it’s time to take action.  That’s where I was.  I had made all the plans, knew what my values and motivators were, but I could not make that leap from “safe life, always having my husband around to rescue me,” to “new career – on my own.”  I needed something to prod me into action.  In the last sentence of the second paragraph of that page, Nicole writes, “One of the most effective ways you can inspire action is to ask yourself, ‘What will my life look like if I don’t try?’”  That’s when I picked up the phone.

Did my husband’s business and my marriage survive such a huge change?  Actually, we’re all doing better now.  The practice is continuing to grow, and our relationship is even better than before because I’m happier.

The change for me came when I realized that I am the only person with direct control over my life.  I make my own choices.  Even when it seems like I have no control, I’ve really decided to let others have control over me and make my decisions for me.  Once I accepted responsibility for my life and started making decisions based on my values, my life changed dramatically.

I can remember several times over the past 20 years when I’ve longed for a life like I’m living today.  We really do create our own reality; we just have to believe that we can.  For me, it was a matter of finally deciding to take responsibility for my own life, stop waiting for someone else to do things for me, and to take charge of my life in every way.  We waste time wishing and hoping for our circumstances to change; our actions must follow what we say we desire or our desires will not manifest.  It’s like someone on a diet.  Have you ever noticed that there are a lot of people out there who are always on a diet, except for when they’re eating?  If you really want to lose weight, stop eating so much.  (See my post, How I Lost 25 Pounds in One Month if you want a good plan and are serious about losing weight.) It’s also like saying you want a clean, more organized home, yet when you have the time to clean and organize, you choose to do other things.  Your actions must back up what you say you want, or you’ll never get it.

I had to realize that this is my life and that I own it.  I am responsible for it.  My husband and family responsibilities are a part of who I am, not the other way around.  I am married because I choose to be, not because I have to be.  I’ve chosen every part of my life, whether I like it or not.  The decisions I am unhappy with, I can and will change.  It really is that simple.  The difficult part, is waking up.

Now it’s your turn.  Who are you?  What do you want?  What are you waiting for?  What will your life look like if you don’t try?

Until next time,
Live Joyfully!

Posted under Inspiration, Law of Attraction, Leadership, Motivation, Weight Loss