Want Less Stress?

I love going to my in-laws’ house.  I know, many of you have just confirmed your suspicion that I’m crazy because no one in their right mind likes their in-laws, let alone visiting. But please, hear me out.

I will be the first to admit that I do not have the typical in-law relationship with my mother- and father-in-law; we all love each other – it’s as if we’re family or something!  But actually, that has nothing to do with why I love going to their house.

Mom and Dad Moorhead have been very good to me over that past 8 years, they even read my blog every day; but that also has nothing to do with why I love going to their house.

I love going to my in-laws’ because it’s clean.  Very clean.  So clean, it sparkles.  Because it’s so clean and sparkly, I find their home to be peaceful, relaxing, and a calm, “safe haven,” if you will, from the too often hectic, frantic, rushed, and discombobulated world in which I live, despite my best efforts.

Those of you who read my blog daily will remember that I recently let my housekeeper go – about 4 weeks ago.  I’ve been cleaning weekly and have developed a good system that seems to be working.  The house seems to be staying cleaner from week to week now that it’s getting a thorough, deep cleaning in the appropriate areas when necessary.  I’ll be posting my system in a few weeks – I just want to work out some of the kinks first before I give it to you.

One of the biggest benefits to cleaning the house myself is that I have a new appreciation for the importance of a clean house.  I’ve written before about how Clutter Around You Creates Clutter In Your Brain; what about dust, dirt, and grime?  It used to be that about the time I started noticing dust accumulating on furniture, it would soon be Tuesday and my housekeeper would show up to rescue me – or so I thought.  I still had to dust my office almost every day, and I made the excuse that it was because that’s where I spent most of my time.  However, since I’ve been cleaning myself, I only have to do a light dusting mid-week and it stays wonderfully clean in between.

My husband and I both have allergies to dust and dust mites. (My husband has many other allergies as well.) This is one of the reasons I have always had a cleaning service of some sort – I used to have allergic reactions to cleaning.  No kidding.  I have since learned that if you do it right, it shouldn’t be a problem.  Besides, if you have someone coming in once a week and doing little more than stirring up the dust and dirt that’s there, you will have much worse allergy systems anyway.  So a day or so of suffering from cleaning the house yourself is better than constant suffering from someone else doing a poor job.

I also used to think I had better things to do with my time than clean the house.  I bought into the belief that Steve Pavlina spouts in his article, If Everyone Awakens Will We All Starve; which is that we should spend our time fulfilling our mission and living every minute with that one single purpose in focus.  But there are several problems with that. 

First of all, a clean house is a delight to come home to.  I first realized my strong desire for a clean home when visiting my in-laws one day.  My husband and I had been on a business trip and they had kept our 16-year-old Dachshund while we were away.  Our first stop from the airport was to pick up the dog before heading home.  On the way to their house, I said to my husband, “Can we stay a few minutes or do we have to leave right away?”  He said we could stay a few minutes and I was inexplicably relieved.  Not knowing why I felt this emotion, I pondered deep inside myself for an answer.  What I discovered was that my subconscious had picked up on the very subtle fact that when I’m in their house, I can breathe easily and relax.  There are not a bunch of papers piled up, no dirty dishes or pots and pans, no dust to be seen, no dirt, grime, or filth.  (I bet you’re starting to wonder what my house really looks like aren’t you? – Don’t worry, it’s not that bad.)  When I’m at the Moorhead’s, I can relax, touch anything, sit anywhere, and my brain isn’t constantly trying to reconcile “piles” of information that’s lying around everywhere.

Secondly, as much as I love writing, speaking, training, and consulting, I can’t spend every waking minute doing those things.  I find myself burned out and not able to do anyone much good.  A day of cleaning the house and getting things organized feels exactly the same as clearing my mind.  I’ve had many inspirational moments while cleaning and when the house is clean, I think on a much higher level.  Some people would tout that feeling this way makes me obsessive-compulsive, but I disagree.  However, I did catch myself one day vacuuming the dog!  (That’s another post.) 

I could easily use the excuse that my schedule doesn’t allow for keeping house myself.  I could, and have, schedule “mission critical” tasks in a way that filled up the entire week leaving no room in my schedule for cleaning.  When I’ve done that though, I ended up with a dirty house, feeling guilty about that dirty house, wishing I didn’t have a dirty house, and wondering why I didn’t save all that emotional energy and just clean the house!  I also didn’t feel like I’d made much of a contribution to the world.  Maybe I just didn’t appreciate what I had accomplished because I had all that dust, dirt, and grime surrounding me. When the house is dirty, I can’t think straight, and when my office is dirty, I become depressed.  How many times have you done your best work while depressed? 

Now, I don’t want to give anyone the wrong impression here; my in-laws live in their house.  It’s not some sort of shrine.  They are retired and spend the majority of their time in the house, doing what most of us would consider “messing things up.”  But here’s the point, they mess it up, then they clean it up.  The cleaning is as much a part of the living in their house as the messing it up part.  Go back and read that last sentence again because that’s what most of us fail to realize – here – I’ll print it again for you. The cleaning is as much a part of the living in their house as the messing it up part.  Let me explain further.

What most people do is this:  Come home from work, cook supper.  Load the dishwasher (maybe) and leave the pots and pans to soak overnight.  Get up the next morning and, without having allowed enough time to clean those pots and pans before work, we leave them to soak all day.  We come home again and feel stressed because the kitchen is a mess.  We’re tired and had a long day, so instead of cleaning up and cooking, we order pizza, which we eat in the living room.  The pots and pans are still soaking, by the way.  Still no time to clean, though, we have a meeting.  Next night, we come home and do only what is necessary – unload dishwasher, wash whatever pan we need to cook tonight’s dinner.  Still tired, we leave the dishes and pots to be dealt with later.  Saturday – that’s it – I’ll have time on Saturday.  Friday night we go out to eat because we don’t want to deal with looking at the messy house.  Saturday comes and we feel so overwhelmed we don’t know where to start.  Then there’s laundry to do and maybe some ironing.  There are also our weekend commitments and meals to contend with.  Who has time to dust?

Been there?  Most people have – and many still are!  We mess and mess and mess, but we rarely clean.  Here are a few tips on how to overcome this vicious cycle, once and for all.

First, put things in reverse order.  If you come home too tired to cook and clean, go ahead and order the pizza.  Most people can muster up the energy to throw away the pizza box.  In other words, don’t make a mess you can’t clean up.  If the house is clean, keep it that way.

Second, if you do make a mess, clean it up right away.  It only gets worse by sitting.  If you must leave pots to soak, fine, but clean them up before you go to bed.  It only takes a few minutes and by developing the discipline to clean them before you go to bed, you might think twice before leaving them to begin with.  I use various chemicals to get my pots and pans clean right away and rarely need to soak anything.  My kitchen is cleaned up before I sit down for the night.  My philosophy; if the house is clean, keep it that way.

Third, if you have kids, make them help.  Assuming of course that they are old enough.  A certain young man I know who just started college doesn’t know how to do laundry; he would if he’d been taught at home and learned the discipline of doing so when he was younger.   Teach them this philosophy; if the house is clean, keep it that way.

Fourth, dedicate a certain time of the week to get the house cleaned up and looking good again.  Even if you only have 30 minutes, you’ll be amazed at how much better things can look after a short amount of attention.  More importantly, those 30 little minutes will get you inspired to spend more time each week.  The philosophy here; if the house isn’t clean, get it that way.

Fifth, pay attention to how good you feel when you awaken in the morning to, or come home to, a clean house.  It really does make a difference.  Get the house clean, and keep it that way.  You’ll have much less stress.

Thanks for reading today.  I’d love to hear any tips or tricks you have on keeping your house clean.

Posted under Education, Inspiration, Motivation

The Problem With Too Many Options

A confused mind always says No.  If you want your patients’ cooperation and full buy-in to the treatment plans you are presenting, you must make them understand what you want them to do and how it affects them. When you confuse people, you lose all hope of gaining their cooperation.  Giving a complete diagnosis followed with, “You should do this, but you could do that, or this other thing, then there’s always this, that, and the other.”  Stop!  What is the best option?  What would you do if it were your mouth and your health?

The seven most common mistakes I see when evaluating a Dentist’s presentation skills are:

  1. Overwhelming the patient with too much information at once.  You should be educating the patient during the exam.  Don’t allow your staff to talk about personal agendas during the examination process.  Ask your patients questions about their dental health and dental habits.  Educate them as to how they can do better, improve their health, and keep down their costs.  Do this a little at a time over the exam to give them the opportunity to absorb the new information and ask questions.
  2. Giving them too many options.  Start with one option – the best.  Even if they have told you that money is an issue.  (Money is always an issue, except to people who have no money.)  Then help them make a choice based on their values and understanding.  Once they and your financial coordinator have determined your treatment plan total is not possible, then decide where to cut corners.  Until then, there is only one option, and please remember to not give up easily.  This is your patient’s health we’re talking about here.
  3. Boring them with stories of other cases, just like theirs, how great they turned out because of how great a Dentist you are.  If the patient is not sitting on the edge of her seat, lingering on your every word, you’re boring her.  Shut up, get on with what effects her, and address her needs.
  4. Saying too much.  Once you’ve sold the case, get out!  Let your financial coordinator do the rest.  Stop saying that there other ways of going about the treatment if they don’t get approved for financing, etc.
               
  5. Using visual aids (like patient education models) poorly.  Make sure the examples you’re showing relate directly to the patient’s problems or leave it out.
  6. Using dental jargon.  Your patients have enough to learn without learning our “code.”  Make your explanations understandable by using everyday language.  If the patient wants to learn and converse using dental speak, fine.  Most of the time, forget about it.
  7. Speaking in abstractions.  If the situation relates to them, say so.  Don’t beat around the bush or try to spare their feelings.  They came to you for your opinion.  Don’t be mean, but make your point clear.  In your introduction, explicitly tell people what you’re talking about. Give them an overview of your talk, your main points, and your structure. “Mrs. Smith, I’m going to explain to you what I found after reviewing your records.  We’ll discuss how we can work together to get you back to excellent dental health, then I’ll answer your questions.”

Confusing people will, without fail, shut them down. Confucius said it another way: “If speech is not clear, then what is said is not what is meant. If what is said is not what is meant, then what ought to be done remains undone.”

If you are wondering if you are guilty of confusing your patients during case presentation, ask your team.  They usually know.  Next month, I’ll have a new report coming out on Case Presentation for the Dental Practice.  To pre-order your free copy, e-mail me directly and I’ll put you on the waiting list.

I’d love to hear from you.  Have you overcome the problem of confusing your patients?  Or is it still a problem?  Share your story by commenting below.

 

Posted under Education

Clutter Around You Creates Clutter In Your Brain

Do you ever get stuck when working on a project – even if you enjoy or are looking forward to working on it?  I did today.

I’m not sure if ‘Clutter around you creates clutter in your brain’ is an actual quote from someone or not.  I’ve heard it so often and believe so strongly in it that it has become an almost daily mantra for me, but I cannot find who said it.  I know it’s a feng shui principle, even though I don’t really know that much about feng shui.  (There’s so much to learn!)

When I walk into a business and see the front area a complete mess, it bothers me.  I am not a neat freak or a total control person.  Believe me, I don’t like cleaning things or trying to be perfect any better than the next gal, but here’s the thing:  Clutter around you really does create clutter in your brain.  Clutter in your brain keeps you from performing at your best and stifles your success.  Knowing this, when I see a mess, I wonder if the people working there are professional, and if they even know what they are supposed to be doing.

Try it.  Right now.  If you’re having trouble staying “on task,” clean off your desk – completely.  Put back only one thing to do.  Focus on that one thing until it is finished.  Then, go on to the next thing.  See if that doesn’t help.  I love this concept.

You will be surprised at how little time it takes just to straighten one area.  You might also be surprised at how much better you feel tomorrow morning when you come in to a clean, neat, organized work environment.

But I struggled today so much with everything I’m wondering if I need to de-clutter.  I have so much on my mind.  I feel guilty because I did not achieve my number one goal for the day of redesigning one of my web sites.

I’m a big believer in prioritizing.  I always know, at the start of each day, what my most important task is for that day.  And I usually accomplish it.  Not today.  There was absolutely nothing here to distract me.  My desk is not cluttered, but my closet could use an overhaul.  I have an overall strategic plan.  I just did not want to learn the new coding.  Coding is boring for me.  I love it once I get into it.  I guess it’s kind of like the shower; we don’t want to get in, then we don’t want to get out.

I know what I should have done.  I know what I should do now.  I just have no energy for either.  I am typically more disciplined than this.  I did exercise today.  (Gardening.)  I know, it’s the rain.  It has been overcast all day and is getting ready to rain.  Those negatives ions should help me write, though, once they start coming down.  I always get inspired when it rains.   Maybe I’ll write a few blog posts, which will free up time to do the website later.

Another concept I love is planning tomorrow’s activites today.  Oops!  I feel another post coming on!

Until next time,
I Invite YOU to Live Joyfully!

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Posted under Education, Motivation

Seven Steps to Goal Accomplishment

Everyone talks about setting goals; what about achieving them?  It seems we assume that setting a goal results in its automatic attainment.  But is that so?  I’ve set goals I’ve obtained in much less time than I thought it would take – like becoming a member of the National Speakers Association.  I’ve also set goals for which the deadlines have long past.  What’s the difference?  They were all my goals.  I really wanted them.  I wrote them down.  I reviewed them periodically.  Where’s the disconnect?

After a great deal of reflection on this topic, I’ve come up with seven steps that one must carry out to be certain to realize the desired outcome of their goals. 

  1. Decide exactly what you want and why you want it.  Go as deep with this as you can.  What is the desired outcome, and why is it desirable?  Then, what is the outcome of that and why do you want it?  Keep going until you’re sure it’s what you want.
  2. Write it all down.  Be as specific as possible and make it measurable.  For example, “I want to increase my income by 100 percent over the next two years so that I can increase my family’s standard of living and put money away for my child’s education.”  Continue on, as far as you can go with the exact standard of living you desire and where your child might attend university.
  3. Set deadlines and, if appropriate, sub deadlines.  For example, “I will first increase my income by 50% within the next year and put all of the money into an interest-bearing account.”
  4. Make a list of everything you must do to accomplish your goal.  Write out every detailed task and keep adding to it.  You’ll know once it is complete – and it may never be – depends on the goal.
  5. Prioritize and sort the list into a plan.  Determine what needs to be done first, second, and so on, adding things as they come to you.  This is your strategic plan.
  6. Do the first item, and keep going.  Instead of just reviewing your goal daily, review your strategic plan daily also.  This is where the rubber meets the road; this is what will get you there.
  7. Document your progress.  You’ll be surprised at how much this helps.  If you don’t document where you are along your strategic plan timeline, you might miss the fact that you’ve gotten there! 

This happened to me when I was working on my qualifications for NSA.  I had a plan and was working on it daily.  Then I got busy with other things, but kept doing what was necessary to reach my goal.  I wasn’t documenting anything and then one day thought, “Is it possible that I’ve qualified?”  I got out my paperwork and realized I had reached my goal about a month prior.  My deadline was seven months away, so I wasn’t keeping close enough track.  Not that this was a major upsetting event or anything, but what if I had never checked?  The time to qualify could have passed and I may have had to start all over again.  Don’t let something like that happen to you. 

Keep track of your goals and your progress; change when necessary, and live your dreams.

Posted under Education, Leadership, Motivation

Time Chunking

I’ve been testing a lot of time management theory lately.  As a business owner, writer, speaker, trainer, consultant, musician, and wife, I have great demands on my time and I’ve always had this feeling that I could be managing it better.  I do most of my work at home and recently let my housekeeper go.  (For the first time in about 6 years, I’m cleaning the house myself.)  If I don’t figure out a way to manage my time in a way that is comfortable for me and reduces my feelings of being overwhelmed, I’m going to drive my husband crazy.

This week, I’ve been experimenting with “time chunking.”  This is a new concept in time management and thus, has a couple of conflicting definitions already.  By my definition, Time Chunking is taking all your tasks for the week, and devoting a huge chunk of time to get them done, finished, over-with.  For example, Monday, I wrote all day.  I didn’t get all of my blog posts written for the week, but I came close.  (I had that really long one Wednesday on weight loss or I would have finished more.)  Tuesday I was out of the office doing trainings all day.  Wednesday I spent learning coding for my website.  Thursday was kind of a “miscellaneous” day because I had an orthodontic appointment and chose to flow a couple of things both business and personal around that.  Today I’m catching up on everything that I didn’t get accomplished earlier in the week and cleaning the house. 

The system seems to be working fairly well. I feel more relaxed than ever and the house is cleaner than it has been in a long time.  I’m finding that keeping lists is helping a lot and I’ve heard that there is some new hacking software available for Outlook – I’m going to check into that and I’ll let you know how it goes.

I do like working on a project from start to finish.  I’ve known for a long time that sticking with a job until it is complete is a more efficient way to work.  Being able to concentrate is extremely important in most of what I do.  And even though it pushed me to get to three different towns on Tuesday, at least when I got home late Tuesday afternoon, I knew my traveling was over for the week – that was nice. 

Being able to devote an entire day to learning something new was invaluable.  Now I won’t have to pick things up where I left off and learn things all over again – hopefully.  The new concepts had time to sink in as I had plenty of time to practice. 

Having the entire house clean at the same time is going to be nice as well as having everything caught up before the weekend.

Have a great weekend; try some time chunking when you get a chance and let me know how it goes.

Posted under Education

This post was written by Debra Moorhead, Motivation, Education, Inspiration on October 13, 2006

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How I Lost 25 Pounds in One Month

In my post, Never Let Yourself Go, Part II – Your Body,  I promised that I would give you the details of my diet from about 10 years ago that led to my losing 25 pounds in one month.  So here they are.

When I discovered that I was, in fact, overweight, I, for the first time in my adult life, found myself in completely unfamiliar territory.  I had always been terribly thin and never had to diet.  I felt I did not have the skills or knowledge necessary to pull this off since I had never done it before – diet, that is.  Then I realized that my mother, God Bless her, had been on a diet for as long as I could remember and, well, it didn’t seem that she really knew what she was doing either.  I mean, if someone is always on a diet, there would seem to be some kind of disconnect there somewhere, right?  So I knew that I didn’t want to do whatever she was doing.

Then out of the blue, I remembered a comment from my high school Science teacher who said that if you want to weigh 123 pounds, you simply consume the number of calories necessary to sustain your body at 123 pounds.  Eureka!  A scientific formula to which I could relate.

My teacher was trying to convey to us the scientific principles of calories and energy.  He explained how a skinny person, like me, could eat what seemed like an enormous amount of junk food and never gain weight, while someone who ate what was touted to be a more healthful diet of grains and fruit could be overweight – it’s all in the calories.  Take in more calories than you expend, the body stores the extra energy as fat.  Plain and simple.

Now, if you’ll recall back about 10 years ago, counting calories as a weight-loss method was no longer popular.  In fact, weight management instructors were saying that counting calories was the worst way to try to lose weight.  But I remembered a comment from my college Health and Safety instructor who said that counting calories is the only scientifically proven way to lose weight.  I like science.  So with confirmation of my plan, I set out to find a way to customize a calorie-counting diet to suit my needs and achieve success.

At first, I really didn’t know how much I was supposed to weigh.  I thought, maybe I’m supposed to weigh 150+.  Maybe a Size 10 is right for me at this age.  Wishful thinking, but I knew better.  I worked for an insurance company at the time and was able to get their weight tables used to determine a healthy weight based on height.  This gave me a range.  I then went onto the internet and found a program that would also use my body frame and activity level to get the range a little more narrow.  This gave me a range of 123 to 135.  I decided to shoot for 123, figuring if I fall short – I’ll still be in good shape.  At this point, I needed to lose 26 pounds.

My next step, and this is the critical part, was to determine how many calories I needed to consume to become a 123-pound person.  When most people think of a calorie-counting diet, they immediately think of cutting their calories back to an unsustainable amount – like 1,000 to 1,200 calories a day.  That’s the first place people go wrong.  All you need to do, is determine how many calories your “future self” will be eating when s/he weighs that ideal weight.  This is much easier than you think and is a critical part of the program.

I decided against adding an exercise regimen to my plan in the beginning for two reasons.  One, I had been a member of a gym for several years and every time I stayed with a routine, I gained weight.  Which was part of the reason why I was having to do this to begin with.  I didn’t watch my weight and “treated” myself every time I worked out – adding calories and, apparently, fat.  Plus, and this is reason number two, it was going to be difficult enough just keeping up with the diet.  I wanted to get the weight off first, and then tone my muscle while maintaining my 123 weight.  One thing at a time – focus.

So how does one go about eating like a 123-pound person?  Well, first you have to figure out how many calories will sustain your body at 123 pounds given your height and activity level.  I again, consulted the internet.  There were fewer sources out there back then than there are today, and I have no idea what the one I used was called, but here is one supplied by the American Cancer Society that is easy to use.  Simply enter your goal weight and be honest about your activity level.  I would choose sedentary.  That way, you don’t have to lift a finger if you don’t want to and any exercise you do get would just be icing on the cake.  OH!  That was cruel – sorry!  Moving on to the next step.

UPDATE 2/20/2009 - A lot of you have expressed concern over the number of calories various calculators return to you.  If you use a Basal Metabolic Rate Calculator, like the one at http://www.bmi-calculator.net/bmr-calculator/ you will get a better “starting point.”  Read the two short paragraphs at the top of that page, and then make a common sense judgment from there.  If you are sedentary, try eating just 150 - 200 calories above your BMR.  For example, my BMR at the time was 1250, I ate 1425, and lost the weight fast.  Your results will depend on your BMR, how much you eat, and how much you burn.  Your enthusiasm and vibrational energy also play a factor, and here are more things to consider. (Back to the original article)

UPDATE 8/7/2012 - The most common question I’m now getting is, “Are there any other systems out there that really work?  I don’t necessarily want to count calories.”  So after much research, I’ve found a site that reviews weight loss products and keeps us all updated.  I’ve signed on with them as an affiliate - that’s how much I believe in what they do.  Check them out and let me know what you think!

Now that you know how many calories you should be consuming, and this is where it starts to get difficult if you let it, you need to keep track – meticulously – of exactly how many calories you consume.  I mean every piece of gum, breath mint, sip of soda – everything.  Here’s what I did.

I started an Excel spreadsheet with each day listed at the top and the meal times at the left side.  The calorie number I was given back then was 1425 calories per day.  I divided that up into 300 calories for breakfast, a 100 calorie mid-morning snack, 300 for lunch, 150 for an afternoon snack, which left a whopping 575 calories for dinner.  In this spreadsheet, I would log my actual calories for each day.  I kept the sheet on a floppy disk, updated it every time I had a meal or snack and took it back and forth with me between work and home.  I counted everything, and ate nothing that I couldn’t get the calorie count for.  If you think this is over the top, just remember that you’re not going to do this part forever.  I only did it for three weeks.  After that, my body was retrained.  We’ll talk more about that in a minute. The next step, was figuring out what to eat.

This could have been the diet breaker if I had allowed it to be.  But I was determined.  As stated earlier, I decided to eat absolutely nothing that I could not get the calorie count for.  So I started out with pre-packaged and frozen meals.  Ten years ago, there were good options in these areas, but not as many as there are today, so I became bored rather quickly.  I then decided to research restaurant caloric charts.  I found a book, which is out of print today, but very similar to the Fast-Food Guide.  I used this book, in addition to as much information I could get both online and in the restaurants regarding the calorie counts of their food.  Again, if I could not get the calorie count, I did not guess, I simply did not eat it.  This is very important.  I’ll explain why a little later.

Armed with a plan, a tracking system, and plenty of choices, I felt that I could stay on the diet as long as necessary as long as I did not become overly hungry or weak.  I did have to adjust my caloric allowances for each meal and snack because eating only 575 calories for dinner was next to impossible.  But I did stick to my daily allowance of 1425 and did not go over – even if that meant going to bed hungry.  I learned that it’s okay to be hungry every once in a while.  Too many of us have the belief that if you’re hungry, there’s something wrong with you, when in reality it only means that your stomach is empty.  It’s a physiological response – that’s it.  It does not mean that you must eat right away!

Another paradigm shift was realizing how small the difference was between a 150-pound body and a 123-pound body.  This is the reason why keeping a log is so important and sticking to your allotted amount of calories is so important; the number of calories between the two are so small!  One piece of cake or candy, or anything similar really will “blow” your diet.  It could mean starting all over, which is what most people do and become tired of.  Who wouldn’t!  If the reward for something is failure, we soon lose interest in doing that thing.

For me, right now, an extra 100 calories per day would add 7 pounds to my weight in about a month.  One hundred calories is nothing – and yet everything!  You can use that calculator I gave you above to play around with different weights and calorie ranges.  You’ll notice very little difference in the amount of calories you can consume at various weight levels.  This is why so many people fail on diets – especially calorie-counting diets; they fail to track their calories honestly, and fail to exercise their self-discipline long enough to notice results.  This is also why fad diets work at first, but then eventually fail.  Fad diets usually have you consume or eliminate one particular food group, which causes you to drop your caloric intake for a few days or weeks.  Gradually, however, you resume your original caloric intake, just with different foods.  The diet stops working and you stop the diet.  But if you earnestly count your calories, and you really want to lose weight, my system will work for you.

I also learned what kinds of foods to eat to make my calories last longer and give me more energy.  Foods high in fat and sugar pack a ton of calories with very little benefit.  The proportion of benefit to calories is not worth it.  Foods high in protein and complex carbohydrates gave me plenty of sustainable energy, did not leave me hungry after two hours, and helped me meet my goals easily.  When it came to fast food, I learned very quickly that there were some restaurants I just needed to stay out of  - forever!  Sure, I could have a Big Mac with fries and a coke, but that was almost my entire daily allotment!  I also learned that small changes make a big difference.  For example, when I went to Taco Bell, the new diet meant getting 2 tacos instead of 3, and a diet Pepsi instead of regular.  I had almost as much food, didn’t really miss what I didn’t have, and it paid off big time.

While I’m not a candy or sweets person, I do like peanut M&Ms.  I literally took the calorie count for a package of M&Ms, divided that by the number of them in the package, and had an on-going snack relationship with M&M’s.  I guess I’m lucky to be one of those people who can eat like only 3 at a time.  It would sometimes take me an entire week to finish off one snack-size bag!  But the point is, I ate everything I wanted.  I just paid the price for it and before eating it, debated on whether it was worth the price – just like a really nice clothing item.  I’m sure you’ve done that before; you find a really nice suit or something you like at the department store, try it on, it looks really good, but then you look at the price tag and put it back. You have no problem putting it back on the rack because the price is simply not worth it to you at this time.  Eating can be exactly the same way; is what you’re about to consume really worth being overweight?

Another method I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted was to “save” calories.  This was actually fun.  I had a friend at work who liked to go out on Friday nights.  Her husband always worked a night shift that night, so when my husband was out of town, we would treat ourselves to dinner and a movie.  She was supportive of my diet, but really craving a piece of “Derby pie” from a local restaurant.  We made our plans on Monday, and I started “saving up” enough calories to be able to eat that piece of pie come Friday night.  I called the restaurant on Monday and found out that one serving was 750 calories.  Using my Excel spreadsheet, I decreased my calories just a little each day and each meal until I had exactly 750 saved up.  That was, without, a doubt, the best tasting piece of Derby pie I’ve ever had – before or since!  But the best part was, the next morning, my weight was continuing to fall.  Which brings me to the next topic, I have yet to discuss how quickly the extra weight came off.

It was fast.  My husband went away for two weeks on a business trip.  One of the reasons I decided to start the diet at this particular time was because I knew it would be easier if I had only myself to worry about.  I didn’t have to cook a big meal for him every night so I could get away with my Lean Cuisines.  By the time he returned, I had lost 15 pounds!  He could hardly believe it – he said I looked like a different person.  I could tell a big difference in my clothes, but I had not really noticed a difference in the mirror yet – probably because I was wearing the same clothes.  In about another week I lost the remaining 10 pounds almost effortlessly.  By this time, my stomach had shrunk and my body was adjusting to my new habits.  My system was working and I was working my system, everyone was supportive of me, and I was very pleased with the fast results.  I really lost the weight I wanted to lose in about three weeks, but I stayed on the diet another week to really let it set in.  I wanted to develop the habit of eating like a 123-pound person and wanted to make certain my body had fully adjusted.  I also wanted to make sure I was eating as many calories as I could.  In other words, if I continued to consume 1425 calories every day, would my weight level off at 123 like it was supposed to?  Were the formulas used by the calculators accurate?  The answer, as it turns out, is yes, they were very accurate.

Now, a lot of people who read this will say that losing that much weight in 3 weeks is unhealthy.  I disagree.  I experienced no negative side-effects whatsoever.  I was eating more healthfully than before, overall. Your body will love you for this.  If you think about it, no one’s body wants to be unhealthy.  Your body craves to be strong and dependable. I really didn’t feel like I was depriving myself of that much.  I ate almost as much food as before the diet, and I definitely ate as much as I truly needed to eat.  While I would not, and do not now, eat a steady diet of frozen dinners and restaurant food, it helped my body to realize what amount of food is healthy for me.  When I went off the diet, that is, when I stopped using the Excel spreadsheet, my stomach told me when it was full.  I no longer needed a chart to tell me how many calories were in a menu item because my stomach told me when I had consumed 300 calories.  And the amazing thing was, my body knew the difference between a 300-calorie lunch, a 150-calorie snack, and a 600-calorie dinner.  I had developed good habits through this process that have stuck with me for 10 years now.  I know when I’ve overeaten before getting on the scale.  When my husband and I are planning an evening out and I know I’ll want to order the steak and lobster, I start about a week ahead of time, “saving” enough calories to be able to do that.  I guess my retort to anyone who thinks this diet plan is unhealthy is this:  which is healthier, fast weight loss by creating good habits through the use of some pre-packaged foods and healthy fast-food choices, or being overweight?

My husband used this plan to lose about 20 pounds over a two-week period just a few months ago.  He was suffering from sleep apnea and knew losing weight would make a big difference – and it did.  The sleep apnea is now gone, and he eats whatever he wants but maintains his new weight.  We both weigh two to three times per week, and if we notice a gain, we cut back for the next couple of days.  It’s so easy when you have just a couple of pounds to lose.

For you supplement junkies out there, if you really feel the need to take a pill to lose weight, you can do that with this system – take a good quality multi-vitamin.  I use Centrum – not for weight loss – just for my general health, which is all you really need to do.  Have you ever noticed how all of those pill-based weight-loss systems tell you that if you follow their plan exactly, which includes taking their miracle pill, eat complex carbohydrates, and exercise daily, they will guarantee your weight loss!  And if you don’t do those things the guarantee is voided.  Hello!

I’d like now to summarize this “diet plan” for you.  I’ve shared a lot of insights and might have confused you along the way, so to be sure you understand the process step-by-step, here it is.

Debra’s 7-Step Plan for Achieving Your Ideal Weight

  1. Make a commitment to yourself to become healthy.  Use a daily affirmation like, “I think and eat like a 123-pound person.”
  2. Research your ideal weight.  Some people know the weight at which they feel their best.  If that’s you, use that.  If not, find your ideal weight by clicking here.
  3. Look into how many calories will sustain the weight you desire to be.  Click here to find out.
  4. Focus on weight-loss only for now.  You’ll add exercise when you’re ready.
  5. Keep detailed records.  This is the most important part.  You cannot guess or be “close enough” on this one.  Your body’s habits are off – or you wouldn’t have a problem to begin with.  You must use your mind to retrain your body.  If you cheat on this, you’re only cheating yourself and your diet will fail.  Don’t do that to yourself.  You deserve to be healthy.  If you find yourself thinking about cheating, go back to number one and strengthen your affirmation with a reason.  “I think and eat like a 123-pound person because I want to live long enough to see my grandchildren graduate from college.”  Remember, being overweight is an illness that will kill you.
  6. “Save” calories ahead for special treats.  To “cheat” on your diet legally, use your tracking system like a bank account.  Save up enough calories to indulge yourself at a future event.  Don’t allow yourself to consume the calories first, then pay for them the follwoing week.  That doesn’t work and is another source of failure.  Pay for them in advance and only use up what you’ve saved for – think of it like a pre-paid calorie card!
  7. Surround yourself with only supportive people.  If someone says to you, “Wow, what happened to you?  You look bad!  Have you lost weight?  Why?  You didn’t need to lose any weight – you looked terrific before, not you look sick.”  Just ignore them.  They’re either jealous, or have a very twisted view of what a healthy person is supposed to look like.

Good luck and feel free to use the “Comments” link below to ask questions.

UPDATE 11/11/09: This DVD, Think and Get Slim: Natural Weight Loss
explains WHY my systems works. I talk more about this in the other articles, but wanted to be sure to put a link here as well. IF YOU TRULY WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT, BUY THIS DVD. PERIOD.

UPDATE 3/31/07:  DUE TO THE HIGH NUMBER OF COMMENTS AND QUESTIONS, I HAVE POSTED AN UPDATE TO THIS ARTICLE AT UPDATE TO WEIGHT LOSS ARTICLE.

UPDATE 9/17/07:  LATEST UPDATE IS TO EXERCISE, OR NOT TO EXERCISE; IS THAT REALLY THE QUESTION?

UPDATE 10/01/2007:  AMANDA FARIS SHARES HER PERSONAL SUCCESS STORY WITH THIS SYSTEM

Until next time,
Live Joyfully!

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Posted under Conscious Creation, Education, Inspiration, Law of Attraction, Motivation, Success, Weight Loss

Put Yourself First

One of the things I’ve learned as a daily blogger is that it’s impossible for me to sit down and write something that motivates, educates, and inspires others until I have first motivated, educated, and inspired myself.  The same is true for you if you’re a dentist, chiropractor, or any other type of small business owner.  When I walk into a business and find an unmotivated team, I know that I’m going to meet an unmotivated business manager.  So I’d like to share with you my top 5 ways to motivate yourself.

  1. Read.  Leaders are readers because leaders know they must motivate themselves and their teams to get things accomplished.  What are you supposed to read?  Just about anything.  Most business leadership gurus will tell you to read everything you can get your hands on in your field or area of expertise.  That’s good.  But I’ve also had a lot of speakers tell me that reading mystery novels and fictional romances helped as much to motivate them as anything else. Reading something outside your area may free up your subconscious mind and spur creativity to help solve an on-going problem in your office.  Men in leadership positions seem to do well with biographies about famous leaders such as Sir Winston Churchill.  More books are coming on every day now for women in leadership.  Find something that interests you and engages your mind, and read it.
  2. Slow down!  Focus on one thing at a time.  Make yourself do this.  We’ve become so fascinated with “multi-tasking” that we’ve forgotten why this term was created in the first place.  Multi-tasking refers to a computer’s ability to hold jobs in memory while completing other jobs.  Human beings have been multi-tasking since our creation, but nowadays, we’ve taken it to new heights – we try to multi-multi-task.  Stop it.  Focus on one thing at a time.  When you’re focusing on helping one patient, you’re still multi-tasking.   Take a minute and just think about all the things that you have to do to get one patient in and out on time.  Worrying about what’s going on in treatment room 2 while you’re in room 4 is just going to drive you crazy.  Do one thing at a time.  Your patients, your team, and your brain will thank you.
  3. Write it out.   “This is my answer to the gap between ideas and action—I will write it out.” —Hortense Calisher   This is a fantastic technique.  When you have so many things going on in your head that you can’t focus on one thing at a time, take a couple of minutes to write down everything that’s on your mind.  Scribble and write fast if you have to, but do it – it really does help.  There’s something about stimulating both sides of the brain that helps bring the two together to solve problems.  It doesn’t matter if it’s your to do list, a problem you need to resolve, a creative idea you need to brainstorm – whatever it is – write it out.
  4. Remember that you create what you want.  We humans spend too much time in reaction mode.  Whatever is going on in your life right now, you created it.  You made choices and decisions that brought you here.  Now, what are you going to do about it?  You can re-create your reality by making new choices and decisions.  Sure, those new choices will have consequences, but sometimes that’s exactly what we need.  You work for yourself.  You are in control of your time, effort, and energy. What do you want to create right this minute?
  5. Simplify.  Eliminate all activities that do not contribute to your Mission or goals.  Of course, you must first know your Mission and have goals to strive for, and if you need help with this, see my posts, What is Your Mission, Goal Re-setting, and What is Holding You Back, Part II.  It is easy to become distracted by requests and demands from people we love and want to show respect.  But sometimes those expectations wreak havoc on our goal accomplishment and leave us feeling overwhelmed.  Learn to say, “No.”

Thanks for reading today.  I hope one or more of these techniques will help you motivate yourself and others to live the life you want.  You can leave a comment by clicking the “No Comments” link below.

Posted under Inspiration, Leadership, Motivation

The Wal-Mart Pharmacist

Ten-year-old boy“Excuse me, can you tell me where you keep the . . .”
Wal-Mart Pharmacist“I just came here from another store; I don’t work here.”
Ten-year-old boy“Oh, okay; sorry.”
Wal-Mart Pharmacist“That’s okay.”

I actually witnessed this conversation Saturday afternoon in Cincinnati, Ohio as I was purchasing some Sudafed at a Wal-Mart Pharmacy.  I don’t think I could have made up a better “story” if I’d wanted to because we typically think that most people try to do a good job when they’re at work.  Oh, but that’s right – this pharmacist wasn’t working.  What was she – volunteering?  I strongly doubt that.

I found it especially ironic that I have quoted Sam Walton several times, including on this site, as saying, “There is only one boss – the customer.”  I thought this particular pharmacist must have missed her orientation or something, but, as my husband pointed out, the ten-year old wasn’t her customer or her boss because she didn’t work there!

Do you have employees working for you that have an “I don’t work here” attitude?  How would you know?   It could be happening right under your nose and you don’t even know it.  Just like the store manager was somewhere else when this happened, you, as a dentist or small business owner, cannot be everywhere at all times.  Employees are left alone and trusted, expected, to do the right thing.  How do you know that they are?  Here are some ways you can help ensure your employees treat your customers with respect.

1)  Communicate your customer service philosophy regularly – with each employee.  Make sure everyone knows how important customer service is to you, and that lapses will not be tolerated.  Discuss “new ways” of pleasing the customer regularly at team meetings, and check in with each employee individually.  The failure, on this particular day, with this particular employee was merely a complete and total lack of motivation.  The pharmacist was obviously disgruntled about something.  Perhaps she was called in to work on what was supposed to be her day off.  Maybe she had plans.  Maybe she’s worked too many hours already this week.  A simple “Hello – we really appreciate your being here today” from the store manager might have prevented the poor treatment of that 10-year-old boy.

2)  Place “Secret Shopper” calls.  Another way of making sure your staff stays on their toes is with “secret shopper” calls.  You can have a family member call in and pretend to be a patient, or you can hire a consultant to place the calls for you if you want a lot of feedback on how the call was handled and could be improved.  Be careful whom you hire to do these for you though.  The companies that I used in the past were easy to identify because they were completely unfamiliar with our area.  When I do secret shopper calls, the staff never knows because I’ve been on the other end of the phone and I know what real patients ask and say during a real phone call.  So be sure you hire someone who truly knows these things and don’t take their word for it – get references.  Better yet, make them do one at no charge and ask the staff if they recognized it.

3)  Take customer complaints seriously.  Don’t get me wrong here, I am a huge believer in positive thinking.  But one downside in trying to always think positively at work is that we tend to want to dismiss customer complaints.  We think, “I don’t want to make a big deal out of this, we don’t get complaints very often, this is just one negative patient – probably wanting free work.  I’ll do whatever is necessary to make the patient happy, but I don’t see a need to address it with my staff – I don’t want them to think I don’t trust them.  I want to be positive and upbeat.”  The problem with that line of thinking is that if you have one patient who actually took the time to complain about a problem with your staff, you probably have 10 or more patients who didn’t want to be bothered with doing so.  Instead, they’re going to another business down the street.  Or, worse yet, going nowhere for the help they truly need.

I’ve heard that Sam Walton was an excellent leader and beloved by his employees.  I wonder how he would handle this situation.  I wonder even more if it would have happened under his watch.

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Posted under Leadership

Habits

“The key difference between a success and a failure is that successful people habitually do things that lead to success while failures do not.”  Robert Nelson

Posted under Inspiration, Leadership, Motivation

This post was written by Debra Moorhead, Motivation, Education, Inspiration on October 8, 2006

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Paying for College

If you are having trouble paying for college, you’re not alone.  I’ve heard of more students having financial difficulties lately than ever before.  Sure, we all struggled somewhat when we were in college, but our basics were always covered. 

The reason for this latest epidemic in college funding is that not only have colleges raised their tuition, but everything related to attending college has sky-rocketed also:  books, supplies, food, clothing, housing, you name it.

The CBS Evening News aired a story last month, Tips On How To Afford College about how you can get help if you need it. 

I’ve also done a little research for you and am providing helpful links below.  I will continue to update this post as I find additional sources for you. Hang in there - it will be worth it.

 

 

Posted under Uncategorized

This post was written by Debra Moorhead, Motivation, Education, Inspiration on October 7, 2006

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