We hear a lot about goal setting; the power of goal setting; reasons to set goals; how to set goals, etc.  We’ve learned to set specific goals and to make sure the goals are achievable.  So what happens when you don’t reach your goal?

I’ll tell you what happened to me a few weeks ago – I became depressed.  I had four major goals going at once, and that’s okay.  They were all very tough, very ambitious goals.  I plowed away daily and weekly, setting intermediate goals as necessary to accomplish each step.  The first three goals were supposed to automatically lead to the fourth. Or so I thought.  Guess what – it didn’t happen.  The deadline came and went and I was so busy with the first three, the fourth didn’t enter my mind until I check my goals list.  I was bummed.  I had worked so hard and had accomplished so much, but I didn’t make this goal happen.  I spent so much time rationalizing my failure and making excuses, telling myself that it would be okay and to think positively, that I ended up focusing on my failure.  And since we are what we think about most of the time —-

So, what do you do?  At first, I didn’t even realize this was happening.  It took talking to one of my good friends, Trish Rubin, at the NSA convention to realize what was going on. I was explaining to her that I had been feeling a little down over the past couple of weeks and that I didn’t really know why since I had accomplished these goals and was really proud of myself when Trish said to me, “So what’s your goal now, Debra, what are you trying to do?”

I was speechless, and that’s not common.  But then it hit me.  I had accomplished three very specific goals I had set for myself since Trish and I had last met up in February.  This one goal that I had failed at so miserably was constantly on my mind.  The deadline had passed and to me, it was over.  Since I can not turn back time, there was no way, in my mind, to ever accomplish this goal.  But Trish’s question made me realize that, hello!, I can set a new goal.  After all, I had everything in place and ready to go, it was simply a matter of turning my thinking around and realizing that I could re-set that same goal, tweak it a little, but move forward.

Nelson Mandela said, “The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” It was time for me to rise, and I did – thanks to Trish’s insight.

I have so often fallen into the trap of reaching a goal without setting a new one that you would think I would have learned better by now.  It’s the same thing.  Have you ever had that happen to you?  You’ve set a goal, you’re working daily and seeing results, then one day, bam, it happens, goal achieved.  Now what?  For a lot of people, depression sets in.  Hopefully it’s just the blues and not full-blown clinical depression. 

I know of at least one author on goal setting who says that when you are reviewing your list of goals, which you should do about once a month or so, constantly be asking yourself, “And then what?”  This way, you won’t get to the end of your goals, and hopefully, you’ll never be depressed!

Now it’s your turn and I’d love to hear from you.  What is your “And then what?”  If you don’t want to post a comment for all to see, e-mail me and I’ll respond to you privately.

Posted under Inspiration, Motivation